Hubris.co.nz

There’s things. I mean, right now, mostly there’s 2-for-1 Tigers, and also Zopiclone, which makes me want to talk about how I ran out of it, and didn’t go to work that day, so I couldn’t go to the pharmacy underneath (have you figured out yet where I work?) and I knew from after one night – umm maybe it was Romania/Fetish that no matter how much I’d had to drink or what time I went to bed I can’t actually sleep without pills, so I busted out a halcyon that I had leftover from my breakdown in 2003 (I’d like to link here but old Hubris isn’t online right now, I need a personal computer with a CD drive and a good net link to sort all that out), and Halcyon made my scalp feel weird, and I woke up half a dozen times in the night, rather than just once when Seb bites my toes at 6am, and the dreams weren’t quite as textured, and while they were horrible I didn’t wake up and feel all the things that’d happened to me in my dreams (zopiclone dreams make me miss work, that’s how real they feel), but maybe I felt a bit fuzzier? I dunno, I’m trying to restore proper work days that would give me a chance to do proper exercise in the gym at lunch that would help me feel more normal. I’m also asking for a wii and wii fit for Xmas (and a big chilly bin, an outdoor recliner, books by David Sedaris, John Hodgeman and umm other Daily Show people, no doubt). We just finished Bowling League. I know that doesn’t really count as real exercise. but it was fun.

I launched Sausage Quest, and also Mike has saved your future for you, if your future is in entrepreneurship, anyway. He dropped a tarot card between the slats of my dek and then asked for a hammer to take the whole thing apart. Manly. So yes, now if I read your cards, it may end up that you may be an entrepreneur when you grow up. Thanks Mike! My card readings are pretty accurate. Also, a nice way to talk to boys. I think I might have missed that part in my coverage of Kowhai’s party last time I wrote.

Next week I’m going to Canberra for work, but with the way my flights have worked out, I’m going to have a bit of time to explore, My hotel’s near Parliament, but I’ve been warned that the city is not at all as easy to work out or as small as it appears on maps. I’m planning on cabbing (on my visa, not work’s!) to the National Museum one day because for me museum > art gallery, but do any of youse have any other hot tips? Hit me back just to chat, yo!

Celebrity issues: I am so gutted that Holly and Hugh have broken up. Makes me want to cry, like for serious.

Web stuff: Amy and I are kicking so much ass right now on Pretty Pretty Pretty. Enter our Delicious competition now. And the Wellingtonista Bowling League has just ended, but we’re moving towards our annual awards – or rather the TAWAS!!!! (third annual wellingtonista awards). And! As a secret surprise few people know, I’m planning a scavenger hunt competition for January sometime.

Other things I’m organising in part is the catering for Kat’n Kane’s wedding. I figure I’ll drive up on Jan 9 in time for the Hen;s Party, and on the 11th I will book a room in Hamilton to stay in so I don’t have to cross-country when I may be hungover. And that way I get to see Maree and her stretchy vagina, and maybe Chelsea’s real tight one. Heh. Oh text message jokes, how I love you.

I’m still crazy, a little bit. But with travelling for work, pages of wikis to edit (and I’m gonna break Code of Conduct and say FUCK YOU, G S N! Everything you touch turns to crapness!) and my very own private intern starting in November, I feel more connected. Hell, I even blogged yesterday. And watched a whole episode of Gloss but uhh, not at work, obviously.

Sebastian is still my favourite smoodlepoodle, his curling up in my armpit the highlight of every night, In the mornings if it’s cold he’s even more adorable and occasionally n peeds to the day=be reminded that I need to go for work before he’ll start biting me enough to make me get up. It’s a hard enough life for us. I still so totally think that poverty > creeeeeeeeeeepy.

Dates to remember:

Saturday Oct 26, Beer Quiz at my house 1pmish. Bring some mysterious beers (enough for a good tasting for ten people or so, and then extra for later boozing) and also salted snacks for sharing. You need to write 3 multi choice questions about your beer and bring them along too, ala: (example)
November 8: Tom’’s Mad Men Election Party. Just as in the show, we will (probably) be drinking mass amounts of Crème De Methe from water-cooler, and we’ll be dressed ala 1960 – points & lust for the best Joan Holloway representative;
December 6: Country Club “South Pacific” – and there’s a secret awesome amazing surprise due at this party. It will be AWESOME. Clues later to titillate you but stock up on bikinis. hawiian shirts, pineapples and multiple rums please.

Sometime; I wanna do a PPP clothing and products swap before AND after Xmas. What do you reckon Amy? We’ve made $9 US so far so please keeep clicking our google ads!

The TAWAs – third annual Wellingtonista Awards are on Dec 18, so far: I have a terrible fear that Hadyn will hate me with a firey passion by the time it’s over, because he’s project-managing but I have no off-switch.

Also, I have secret projects going on, so if you get me asking for power tools, please don’t get confused with a rabbit when I[m really asking for a mouse sander (although wanking helps me realise while I bowl better with my 3rd and 4th fingers in the hole rather than my pointer. You can totally wear out the pointer on my masturbating habbits. But you know, if we all get SausaageQuest right, we can end that. Tonight I had a couple of “really? her? really? moments, but I guess that’s just me and i’m a lamer and there are things that were a million years ago and weren’t even things. So anyways, what’s your favourite fact about monkeys?

So, here’s the thing. I know it’s been a long time since I wrote, but here’s my current big issue: I haven’t pashed any boys this year. More specifically, I’ve only made out with girls in 2008 (see how that’s different? No, me neither). And that would be okay if I was going into the pashings thinking that it could be something that lasted OR if I was going into them thinking that it would be something that would be fun for the moment. But I don’t think that I could apply those two rules to all the ladies whose lips I have known, and that makes me feel a bit bad.

See yes, in practice, I’m bisexual, and I know because I do it in secret corners that it’s not just a for-show thing, I like to tell stories, but I do also like to live in the moment. This is why I’m currently in confusion. I like the physicalness of pashing – but I also very much like the emotional satisfaction of someone wanting to pash me, and maybe in my current physical (read: fat. Or maybe super curvy if you wanna be that way) then I am more attractive to girls than I am to men, but like, dude, I’d like to pash a boy. That would be nice.

And there are guys. There was Tingle earlier this year and I destroyed any hope of that with my passive aggressive mental texting – I should have just sat on my hands and hoped that he’d break up with his girlfriend and realised that we had like, so much in common and he was exactly EXACTLY like a boy in my past – how could he not know that and see that and want to be that role in my life? And there are very very brief segue-ways (but I’m not riding around on one because I’m not a douche) and this Saturday at Kowhai’s I met a boy that I thought that I should totally totally be with forever, and I was worried that maybe I’d told him that and maybe that’d been a bit weird for him and though we should totally be together, maybe I’d come on a bit strong, because I was a little bit drunk after Amy’s 30th, but then Karen put my mind at ease by going “oh, the guy you were straddling?” so really, I don’t need to worry about anything I said. But yes, he was really ordinary, and hard to describe, and I don’t know his name, but I totally thought we had the same sense of humour and I liked him.

And see, maybe that’s the point. A couple of weeks ago, I had a Romanian party, and then we went to a “fetish” party – I use the quotes because it was people dressing up like they think fetishes would be, rather than full-on gimp masks – and there was this girl who kept grabbing my boobs, because “i like boobies” and I got to grab hers lots, and while I wanted to pull her out of public view and do more than that, I’m not like “I would like to have a relationship with her”. And maybe it’s I haven’t met the right girl, or maybe I’m homophobic (“if I’m just getting blowjobs, not getting it up the ass, then I’m not gay, right?”) but it’s just like urrrgh, I like boys, and I like cock, and I’d really like to get some please.

And that’s what the title of this post is all about – it’s the work-friendly version of my universal request. If you’re not a boy and/or you don’t want to have sex with me, can you please introduce me to your friends? Invite me to parties, invite me to nights out, even if we’re not that close. I’ll name my kids after you, it’ll be awesome. I’ll be a great wife. And if it’s sunny on Sunday, I’m having an official launch of Sausage Quest 2008. I’m not providing anything officially, but I will totally probably make margaritas, and I have the best terrace ever. Come over any time and bring anyone.

Oh and if that’s not your bag baby, please at least pass on this message: flatmate wanted, lovely big room, Newtown $160

xojo