Archive for March 2010


Waiting for the communists in the fun house

March 30th, 2010 — 9:33pm

Item! Once again, I am anticipating my period. My boobs are sore and I’m starting to get cramps when I orgasm. Is this the information you’re looking for when you google “Jo Hubris” or when you look me up when I apply for jobs with you? I really must reiterate again that this is an online journal where I have been writing about my periods since 1998. I don’t believe it is a reflection on my professionalism. That’s what www.joannamcleod.com is for.

Item! That whining out of the way, I want to tell you about my friend Peter. For his 20th birthday, me and the good people of Garland bought him a Britney Spears doll. That was a good ten years ago. Recently he was back from the UK for a bit, and came to a party at Shirley’s and then Anna-Jane’s flatwarming with me. He brought Britney with him! And took her out of the box for the first time!

Say hello to my little friend

He carried her in his pocket all night and talked to her too. I adore Peter.

Item! There’s stuff written by me in a new magazine called FishHead. I went to its launch. The Masked Barfly went too.

Item! I had a blogsplosion today and updated EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY BLOGS apart from the Aucklandista. That’s an awful lot of blogs. Ones you might know about include Pretty Pretty Pretty, the Wellingtonista, You Are So Entertaining and Joanna McLeod Dot Com. Ones you might not know about I suppose will stay that way. Oh, but you should follow my tumblr if you’re into that sort of thing.

Item! I am having a potluck dinner party on Good Friday and am trying to use it to meet people that I might follow on Twitter and the internets but don’t really know. Would you like to come along? Let me know!

Item! Finally, because Robyn did it, let me present you with the top search terms for today on my site:

homemade duck blinds 6
ingrown hair vagina 2
picture of ingrown hair on breast 2
ingrown hair genital 2
the feelers suck 1
musician calls potential sponsor whore 1
in grown hair on arm 1
infected ingrown hair crotch 1
anal sluts wellington 1
gmt.co.nz 1

It’s true, I did have an ingrown hair. And the Feelers do suck. The rest, I don’t think I can help you with, sorry. Except to say that if I hadn’t been blind drunk, I may not have needed a “the duck” tag.

EDIT: oh yeah, I already told you to delete my feed and resubscribe if you’re not getting full posts in your RSS reader, yes? Good.

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A quickie of what I’m up to these days

March 15th, 2010 — 11:24pm

I have been whiney. Really fucking whiney. Like nobody likes me everybody hates me kinda whiney. Having no money means I can’t go out and therefore I feel like people have forgotten that I even exist sometimes. I fixed this a bit by cooking a fuckoff big vegetarian feast for Emma&Simon and Lisa and Karen the other day. It was super tasty and I have nommy leftovers.

CJ told me today that since the other two people who received funding from the Midnight Note to go to Webstock didn’t bother responding to her requests for a thank-you write-up, she wouldn’t post mine, so here it is anyway:

My previous experiences at Webstock had shown me how amazing a community full of love could make an conference. Receiving funding from the Wellington community via the Midnight Note to attend this year only reinforced that message. Having struggled with unemployment for a while now, Webstock was exactly what I needed to remind myself why I want to stay in the web industry. Speakers engaged and challenged me, and talking to people at the various functions around the event made me realise that I am still talented and know what I am talking about when it comes to new media even if I am not currently receiving a wage for it. Because the Midnight Note was a community initiative, I was determined to try and contribute something back to the community, so I organised a pre-webstock tweetup for people to meet each other, helped createWebstock Bingo and also set up an anonymous twitter stream calledWebstocklove in which anyone could declare their love for any part of the event (or person there). I’ve written up my professional take home messages in greater detail at joannamcleod.com, but to everyone who contributed to the Midnight Note, to the organisers and speakers at Webstock and everyone else that I engaged with over the week: thank you from the bottom of my heart. I had the most mind-expandingly awesome time and I am inspired and full of hope again.

It’s pretty much what I already said on Hubris only with less swearing and fewer drunken Silverstripers, right?

I have an obsession with Polyvore right now that’s ridiculous. Kim and I are getting married when I’m 42.5, so check out what we’ll be wearing. If you’ll look good in one of the bridesmaid outfits, perhaps you can join the wedding party.
This is the outfit I picked for her:

Kim & I are getting married
Kim & I are getting married by johubris featuring Diane von Furstenberg tops

This is the outfit she picked for me:

Jo & I are getting married...
Jo & I are getting married… by Ms Constantine featuring Tarina Tarantino jewelry

This is what my bridesmaids will be wearing:

What my bridesmaids will wear
What my bridesmaids will wear by johubris featuring Converse shoes

I spent quite a bit of time at Amie’s today doing some data entry for her (well, it’s really a win-win situation for both of us, which is number one awesome) so I really must go have a bath if I can find the right plug (the sink plug is a bit too small), or a shower if not. But I thought you might wanna hear from me. Hi!

EDIT: PS – if you subscribe to me on RSS and don’t get full feeds, delete it and add this RSS feed of mine instead. Sorry about that! I finally figured out it was Feedburner fucking it all up, not wordpress. And if you’re not using RSS – why not?

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Webstocked

March 9th, 2010 — 12:01am

I appreciate that once again, it has been forever since I last wrote. So I suppose that there are a number of things that I should talk about. Like:

1. Webstock
2. Kat & Kane
3. An assortment of things
4. Pretty Pretty Pretty
5. Why I hate having crushes on people, or words to that effect.


I wrote on my professional site about what I learned at Webstock, and I wrote a lengthy thank-you for the Midnight Note site which might get posted at some stage, so at this stage, I can now talk about all the gossip behind the scenes in a non-professional way. Which means talking about ice cream. And how at the pre-webstock tweetup that I organised there were three people I’d fucked, and a couple of others I’d pashed. And how Starla Jo was all “oh, thank you so much for your tweets on New Year’s” and I was like “….huh?” and she was like “You wished me and Thomas another ten years of happiness” and I was like “oh, good for me!” No recollection of that at all but that’s the first time that I’ve ever been told about drunk tweets that were nice, so good for me. And how the whole shebang was dedicated to Darren and Amanda who were getting married the next day, and how they met at my Halloween party, and how if you ever want to get married, I should get a crush on you and someone of the opposite sex at the same time, cos it’s happened yet another time since I ran away from Auckland at the end of 2003.

Oh, in hilarious webstock gossip, on the Thursday night, I got this email:

I said I’d look for you and introduce myself, but once I saw you I
decided not to. You are too gorgeous.

I mean, if you hadn’t been twittering about orgasms I *so* would have
come over and flirted, but I knew as soon as I spotted you I’d be
spending the entire night trying to get into your pants rather than
actually listening to what you have to say. And I didn’t think that
would be cool.

So, next time, when I’m not already thinking about sex, I will say
hello and tell you how wonderful I find your writing (I *adore*
sex-positive women), and then if there’s some flirting or geek talk or
strip clubs I’ll be happy to participate.

Ummm, what? It’s a very strange thing when people feel like they know me from reading my twitter stream, or reading Hubris, because duh, they don’t know Joanna at all, just Jo Hubris’s posturings. I might appear to be open about my life but I don’t feel like I’m asking for emails like that from people I don’t know. But enough about that for now.

Obviously Webstock was all kinds of awesome, as I had expected it to be. I was sitting with Julie, and she was like “wow, talking to you is like hanging out with the Mean Girls” and I was like “it’s so fetch, right?” but honestly, if it looks like a whore and walks like a whore, then what are you supposed to say? (Reason number six thousand and twenty to hate the guy: he made me deal by turning into a bad feminist). That aside, it was lovely to catch up with so many people who I only get to see once a year at Webstock and to absorb all the awesomeness, and to watch people using the Webstock Bingo and Webstocklove channels that I set up. I sent out plenty of messages myself due to a million and five geek crushes. Why are all the good ones (and bad ones) married?

After the official bubbles & beats, we went up to Mighty Mighty for more drinks because people said that Kevin Rose was going to be there, and who doesn’t want to marry a millionaire? Someone had stickers and they thought we should write our names on them, but since we were already all wearing nametags, I gave people other names. We got a Rod Drury, and a Kevin Rose, and a Mark Zuckerberg and a Tom from Myspace before I started to run out of names. Later at the other end of the bar, I got in a conversation with Lisa Herrod who’d spoken earlier that day about accessibility, and was super stoked when she tweeted later that she’d hire me in a second if I lived in Sydney (and if she was hiring). It was really awesome to be reminded that I do actually know what I’m talking about sometimes. And in that vein, her husband Lachlan who had also spoken but I hadn’t seen his talk except for the end where he mentioned Waferbaby (who you might remember from Melbourne 2001, if those entries were actually online, but they don’t appear to be. Odd. But to summarise I met him when I was staying with 0 at Nirvana), ordered a castlepoint, so I told him that it was one of the top five drinks in town, and later on twitter mapped out a path as to how he could have the other four in one day. In fact, we were supposed to go get margaritas for breakfast at 8am on the Friday, but I decided to get one more hour of sleep. I was very impressed that he went though!

On Friday night after more Webstock awesomeness was the ONYAs. I borrowed a dress from Megan that I felt gorgeous in, and after some reshufflings I spent the evening telling gossip to a nice woman from Australia that actually may have been a little terrifying because I had a lot of it to tell and there was also a lot of wine. Then there was an amazing light show. Then we went to the Malthouse and people from Silverstripe were so drunk that I thought that they were speaking Norwegian, and other people were so drunk that they fell over, and really, I felt quite sober comparatively. I got to talk about Mad Men with Peter lots. And I got home sometime after 4am after dallying with that nice girl from last year who went to the bathroom and never came back. Webstock is awesome. I should have written about it a lot sooner and also not today when I’m in a really sulky mood.

In fact, I’m so sulky that I’m not going to finish this entry. Night kids, let’s hope something goes my way in the next couple of days or so, yes? Please?

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