Hubris.co.nz

An online journal since 1998

2014 in review

Okay, I didn’t do a 2012 or a 2013. But you can find 2011’s here. This is for KateB who demanded it.

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

    • Paid a lawyer. And then another lawyer.
    • Paid for insurance.
    • Fucked in a royal box in the theatre
    • Went to my first body corporate meeting.
    • Called it off with S (yes, we’d been sort of toying with the idea of getting back togetherish kinda) because she couldn’t say that she was in love with me, no matter how much we loved each other.
    • Went to Maitu Somes Island. On a date even.
    • Dated a couple of pashfriends. Called time on one of them because I wasn’t over S.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My New Year’s resolutions were 1. To find an awesome new job (yup) 2. To finish reading The Lumineres (yup) 3. To only sleep with people aged 30 and over (5/7 and the two under were lovely and one was a girl which doesn’t count anyway) 4. To have an MMF (so close but no double cigar) 5. To get an invite to the WETA Xmas party. I was supposed to meet a guy from OKC who was a visual effects producer, I presume at Weta, which could have developed into a relationship that could have got me a ticket, except I googled him before then and all I could find was his reviews of Asian prostitutes, so I cancelled. 

This year my resolutions are 1. To keep Hubris up to date (look at me go!) 2. To stop playing Kardashian Hollywood (already deleted) 3. To organise a #BESTGIRLS reunion (flights booked) 4. To dance every week (currently have) and 5. To stop taking taxis to work. Which has been a dismal failure so far.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No one particularly close to me, but I know a bunch of pregos ready to pop.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

I went to Vanuatu with Karen and got an ear infection. But I also got ear infections in New Zealand too. Stupid ears.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

That ever-elusive MMF? Maybe? Perhaps I am getting closer to being able to have a proper functional primary relationship with someone, at some time. Maybe.

7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

No particular day. Can I say November 29 from 2013 instead cos that’s the day I moved into my house?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Learning to let go and to put myself first sometimes. Also I am super proud that I have been able to help my refugees start to adjust to life here. When the translator told me that B said she loves my teammate Claire and I more than her sisters, that was pretty fucking special.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I still have a lot of anger about something that happened near the start of the year and it still gives me nightmares. Other people’s bigotry shouldn’t be my baggage, but I just can’t shake it.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Three ear infections. Uuuuuuuugh ear infections are the worst. Now I have ear plugs for when I go swimming.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

That trip to Vanuatu because I really needed the sunshine.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

The amazing Raena’s, who kept me calm during trip to emergency vet, fed me whisky and gin, and provided me with some extra cash during the time she lived with me.

Also my family, who are very good people.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Oh god, so many people. Right wing people mostly. Some drama llamas. The aforementioned bigotrists. The person I’d like to Phoenix Palm right now.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Sebastian’s vet bills, that Vanuatu holiday, house stuff, far too much on taxis to work as a way to combat floor lava.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

#BESTGIRLS REUNION at my house in May, although sadly Kini couldn’t make it after hurting her back. So also then KINI COMING TO STAY. Any time Jo came to stay.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?

‘XO’ because though it came out in 2013, it came out while I was at #BESTGIRLS in Sydney, surprising Jo at Kini’s house for her birthday, and since then it always reminds me of those two and always always makes me smile.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

I am fatter, probably happier and poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Dancing. It is the best. Especially Witches’ Coven Dance on Mondays with the amazing Boganette and Rachel. I also wish I could have swum more but ear infections made me worry.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Drinking on an empty stomach / not enough water. Having nightmares about old job.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

As per tradition, I spent the morning with Tom and Karen and Keith, eating an amazing breakfast, drinking a lot of bubbly and gin, then watching Nevermind the Buzzcocks. Then we went out to BAMJI’s house in Petone for presents and dinner and fun times.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

Toplessly FaceTiming with Jo and trying to accidently flash her. Heh heh heh.

22. Did you fall in love in 2014?

Nope cos it had continued with S. She is very hard to get over when I think we work so well together.

23. How many one-night stands?

If we’re only defining it as at night, and for one night only, then only two – a douchebag in the last week of Mighty Mighty who I slept with because I was angry with S (awesome life decisions, Jo) who was just not a nice person, and then a nice boy from OKC who is actually the boyfriend of a friend of mine (she knew). Should I count someone if I saw them again many many times as a friend but we didn’t sex again? Three if yes then.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Broad City, Bob’s Burgers, Scandal and of course and forever, Parks & Recreation. It is no coincidence all these shows feature strong female rolemodels.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No but my levels of loathing for white cis straight men’s opinions has grown and grown and grown.

26. What was the best book you read?

I read so many books while I was in Vanuatu! It felt really good. But then I didn’t really keep reading much after that. I did thoroughly enjoy Gone Girl though, it was perfect beach reading.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I got myself a Spotify subscription but I don’t know if i discovered anything new – more I revisited old friends.

28. What did you want and get?

A tropical holiday, good friends, a fantastic house (okay that was the end of 2013 but still)

29. What did you want and not get?

New tapware and chandeliers for my bathroom, a main relationship, an MMF. GODDAMMIT.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I don’t watch movies, don’t be ridiculous.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 34.  For friends-celebration, a bunch of us went to dinner at a BYO Italian place in Thorndon then came back to mine for more wine and AMAZING VULVA CAKE the amazing Demelza made for me. For Family Birthday we went to Charlie Bill’s, also in Thorndon, and had fantastic Silere Merino lamb ribs and other goodness.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Feeling like I achieved more at work (the public service can be quite slow).

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

More Fatty Boom Clothing Swaps please! (Free is good!) Also, MOAR CLEAVAGE.

34. What kept you sane?

Jo always being on the other end of Facebook. Tom for keeping me in booze. Demelza for letting me cry on her shoulder. Raena. Upping my lexapro dosage. Getting benzos for the hardest moments. Fellow feminists on Twitter. The way Florence burrows under my blankets to snuggle up to me at night. The enthusiastic greeting of Trixie Doggie.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ummmm I actually can’t think of anyone.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Feminism as a whole, inequality in New Zealand and rape culture.

37. Who did you miss?

Jo and Kini because the #BESTGIRLS should be together all the time. Sometimes I miss Kate & Jason and Tim but, what can I do? And also S. Duh.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I had met Raena back in 2009 at FullcodePress in Sydney, so I can’t say her, so maybe I’ll say her Shannon instead.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:

Acceptance Commitment Therapy suggests that you decide what your values are and then deal with situations so that you’re meeting your values. For example, this pile of paperwork might seem like bullshit to you, but if your value is “getting things done”, then do it because doing things is important to you (not because someone else thinks the paperwork should be done). If a value is “helping people” then when you see the government is not commited to helping people, then you volunteer to do what you can yourself.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

“I’ve got my fingers laced together and I’ve made a little prison and I’m locking up everyone who’s ever laid a finger on me”

2 Comments

  1. Ooooh you should definitely come dancing with the Coven this year! And do another playlist because the Gloria threesome was in my top 5 for the year!! <3

  2. Been waiting for this for 2 years. Did not disappoint. FANKS JO!

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