Hubris.co.nz

I’ve thought about writing a lot over the past week as my latest Osama missive, but I haven’t, but luckily now I am full of bile and rage today. Okay, you know how angry the new ‘Lisa’ ALAC ad makes me, with its very clear implication that it is Lisa’s fault that she is assaulted in an alleyway, because she was drinking? It’s something that Julie at The Handmirror has been fighting against too. It was bad enough that when ALAC finally responded, it was a really badly cut & paste job (neither of us actually ‘called’), but today I received a letter in response to my official complaint to the Advertising Standards Authority.

The Complainant said that sexual assault (even if it is only inferred) has no place in an advertisment where there is no warning as to content.

Duplicate Complainants raised similar issues (Um, wtf? That is NOTHING to do with my complaint)

The relevant provisions were Basic Principle 4 and Rules 5, 7, and 11 of the Code of Ethics. (Actually, I complained under Principle 3: No advertisement should be misleading or deceptive or likely to mislead or deceive the consumer – as well as 4: All advertisements should be prepared with a due sense of social responsibility to consumers and to society.)

The Chairman acknowledged the Complainant’s concerns. However, in his opinion, the advertisment was simply a hard hitting but valid portrayal of self abuse (my emphasis) using alcohol that resulted in a situation in which a woman was left extremely vulnerable. In addition there was no actual sexual violence or exploitation perpetrated on screen therefore, in this instance, the Chairman was satisfied that the advertisment did not meet the threshold necessary to effect a breath of the Code of Ethics.

The Chairman ruled there were no grounds for the complaint to proceed

Perhaps if the chairman had actually READ MY FUCKING LETTER it would have made more sense. One of my favourite parts of this whole thing is where the covering letter finishes “Do not contact me if you have any further queries”. Very, very, very helpful.

I know there are some people who don’t get my rage about this, so let me put it in personal terms that perhaps might make more sense. When I was 14, I was assaulted in the bathroom of a night club toilet. Should I have been in that bar? No. Was it therefore my fault? No. Did I deserve it? No. It’s the last two Nos that have taken me more than ten years to accept. I was assaulted because some fuckhead decided that he would push me up against the wall and shove his tongue down my throat because he felt like I was cockblocking him with my friend. I was assaulted because he thought he was God’s gift to women, or as he so charmingly put it “I’m so horny right now I’d fuck anyone”. I wasn’t asking for it, but because I was somewhere that I shouldn’t have been, I blamed myself for so long. It meant I didn’t feel okay talking about it, it meant that when similar things happened to me in later years to a lesser degree I figured that I must have done something wrong, that it was my fault, that it was what I deserved. I didn’t. And the fact that this ALAC ad pushes that idea further, that ‘Lisa’ was out drinking and being bad and therefore brought this on herself makes me feel really sick. I have far too many friends who’ve had similar experiences, both sober and drunk, where they’re left thinking that it was something that they did that brought it on themselves for me to just sit back and let this campaign go on. I have fought for a long time to regain my sense of self, so I’m damn well going to fight for other women to never have to feel like this, and I’m going to continue to fight.

Friday 29; January, 1999
I figured it was time I tried to make this page look a tiny bit more classy, so here we are. Typing inside a frame because it’s easier that way. Is that okay? Ooooh, I’m liking the slight change in colour-scheme. I hope you’re liking it too. After all, without you, I’m nothing.

The orange goes so well with the purple, and it’s my little tribute to Jo, too. I miss her stacks. The summer of 97/98 I spent mostly with Amy – when I wasn’t with Matt – but this summer I spent most of my time with Jo, so I’m just used to being able to drive over to Miramar, pick her up and go to the beach or town or whatever. Of course now though, I’m in Auckland, and she’s in Christchurch, hopefully doing okay. Xoxoxoxo to you when you read this, hon.

Gosh, I’m being so damn cliquey in this entry today, huh? I know through one of my many counters (yes, I’m obsessed) where people are finding this site from. Most of the people who read my journal have it bookmarked. Others come to Ego Much? from Holloway, Green Oatmeal and also another site where I have some writing posted. (Oh, is there a missing link there? What, AGAIN? Man, I must be forgetful). Talking about Green Oatmeal, I really do suggest that you go and look at it. I was so thrilled when I went back today and discovered that Beth has a JOURNAL up now. She’s so funny, I love her site to bits.

Oh yeah, and speaking of worship (yes, I know this entry is turning just completly self indulgent and internet-people obsessed) Holloway Matthew had some really really interesting things to say about reading other people’s pages which I’d quote, except it’s like too long, so go here and read it for yourself. He gets brownie points for listing me as a ‘really great person’. Wahoo.

I watched Havoc tonight, which probably explains why I’m being so stuck up and self-indulgent. It was their big-day-out special and all the Hole footage made me go “awwwwwwww” and want to be back there. It was a truely truely mind blowing experiance. I love Courtney Love, so I thought all her banter was great, but I guess I can see how people who didn’t like her would hate it. Maybe that’s what my page is like – to a great lesser extent. I mean, I know there are people who enjoy reading it, because they like me. I also know there are people who don’t enjoy reading it, because they don’t like me. Quick question then – WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE? Everyone can ask themselves that, not just the people who dislike me.

Other things that are noteworthy – ummm there’s more stuff on the Written page in case I didn’t already mention that. It’s all old stuff, but now it’s actually linked to. Also I updated my Leaving page, making it far more snobby, so that it’s all sites that I actually respect. No more links to ugly pages from people I know off IRC that really have very little to offer. Fuck I’m nasty these days. Oh well.

I had the worst night’s sleep ever – I had to get up at 5.30am cos I was too hot, and bitten and stuff, so I booted up my computer and talked to Heidi – that’s Simon’s girlfriend who’s back in Finland now. We’re starting a brothel together. She rocks so much – me and Jo taught her all our annoying little sayings (“you’re malcolm”, “on the piss”, “sucks to my asthma” etc) and she’s still using them, and is doing her best to spread them around. The landlord rang me out of bed at 9am, and came around half an hour later with the locksmith – so that’s definatly worth getting up for. Layton’s bed and desk got delivered, and he himself arrived. I talked to him for a while, then had to excuse myself at 11.30am to go back to bed, where I slept for four hours. I just didn’t know what to talk to him about. Clayton’s moving in on Sunday, so hopefully things will be easier after then. The problem is that I’ve sort of settled into a routine having lived here for a week either by myself, or just with Simon who has pretty much the same habits as me (wake after 12pm, bum around all day online, eat dinner as the first meal of the day, then eat toast at night until about 2am then go to bed). I know I’ll have to get out of that pattern once tech starts up again, but still…. I wonder what it’ll be like living with two people I hardly know that I’m expected to interact with.

Anyways, so that’s probably enough for tonight. Oh yeah, just a little request – PLEASE sign my guestbook if you’re new here, or sign it anyways. I’d love to know what sort of people are reading about me and stuff. Market research and all that.

I’m listening to the Tank Girl soundtrack right now. I miss L7. I miss Grrly 5th form, and Cyst – the zine I made with Penny and Sarah that consisted entirely of putting down Room 6 people.

Monday the 11th of January, 1999

So yeah. Um. Oh yeah

I just clicked while I was in the shower (that’s where I do a lot of thinking, cos it takes so long to wash my hair) that my ‘attitude’ of late is pretty similar to what I went through in June ’95.

That’s when I realised that I didn’t like most of my friends and I was afraid of losing my own identity by continuing to act as if I did. So basically, I turned really nasty, pulled a whole lot of nasty tricks and ended up splitting a social group in half.

Except here in ’99 I’m more comfortable with myself, so we’ll call it Spring Cleaning.

Fuck that sounds facecious. It’s not the majority of people that I feel this way about anyways. So don’t misunderstand me – if I’m vaccuming you up and throwing you out, you’ll know. Otherwise, please assume that I still like you.

Mum watched the teletubbies again with me today. She called it “Assanine”. I think she secretly loves it and is just afraid to get in touch with her inner Tubby.

And on that note, I’m leaving. Yup, tonight I pack Baby up in boxes and leave it behind while I make the trek up to Auckland. Once we’ve found a flat I’ll be back. In the meantime, have the links to the journals that I frequent:

sothere.com annette tamika brooke heather helena jo karen rachael

Please don’t forget about me. If you need more, blahblah has been updated too.