Tag: all I want is a pash


It’s the little things that really matter

September 22nd, 2006 — 10:10am

Little things that make me happy

1. My kitchen is all sorted out now. This was a bigger task than you might think, given that we are now officially (OFFICIALLY) the coolest flat in town with two fridges and a full-length freezer. Badoom Chish.

2. My books, also, are all sorted out on a new tall black bookshelf that Briar brought with her but won’t be using because she said she’s not really in to books. And they’re all alphabetical, and chronological by author, and it makes me happy. Except when they’re all sorted out like that I can tell instantly how many of my Douglas Couplands have been appropriated by evil borrowing fiends, and that makes me sad.

3. The leaving beads around my neck (three more sleeps!) go really well with my black and white striped top. An emo is I!

4. Now I don’t have to worry about any more job interviews, I can finally get my hair striped blue-black/aubergine. But I need to get it cut first, since while Anji’s trim looked good at the time, the bluntness of those scissors has left me more split-ended than ever.

Big things that make me happy

1. It’s less than a month until I go to America. Fuck Yeah! Suggestions for what to do with myself in New York and San Francisco will be gratefully accepted.

2. It’s five sleeps until I start my new job!* I’m going to be Helping People. Or at least the government body that I will be working for will be. I will be its web coordinator for six months. And I will make more money than here. I will, however, be far away from Contours so I might have to join a gym down that end of town. Any suggestions?

*Contingent on my passing security clearence, that is. The form was about 30 pages long, and wanted to know such things as addresses of where I’d lived overseas, details about where everyone in my family works and where they were born and their nationalities, stuff about my flatmates, everywhere I’ve been overseas, my religious affiliations if my ties

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Maple syrup-eating surrender monkeys and other stories

February 18th, 2006 — 9:39am

Last Friday was, if you recall, the Prom. Of course, you should all have known that from coming along, but if you did, then you’re people that I don’t know who didn’t introduce yourselves. Wankers.

But nevermind that. Let’s talk about going to Spotlight at lunchtime with Kateb for netting to promify our dresses, and how I was going to get black but the call of the pink was just too strong:

Then let’s talk about how the skies opened around 4pm and I had holes in my shoes, and my car was parked a long way away and luckily I’d given Kate the spare key to it cos I got to it late, and then we had to schlep over to Newtown to decorate the hall and I was soaking wet and freezing cold and reaaaaaally not in a good mood. Plus decorating was tiring and hard, and we were running late and Brad’s friend who was helping us kept on talking and talking and oh oh oh, just the drama of it all. But when we were done, the place looked fucking rad:

Kate came over to my place to get ready, and since I knew I needed to snap out of my grump, I went to “spend a couple of minutes by myself” (read: rub one out), before showering and sorting out my hair. Of course, we ended up looking fabulous, as the above photo will prove. We spent a while having some drinks and trying to convince Bart and Del to come with us, before abandonning that idea and jumping in a taxi. The hall was pretty empty at first, so I was very worried for Brad’s sake, and I was trying to count and do maths and things, but eventually it filled up, helped along by the arrival of these two, Katy and her flatmate:

We sat and drank coruba & coke for a while, cos it was donated, and then Brad started playing ‘Get into the groove’ which is one of my favouritist songs to dance to evah, and since my friends weren’t feeling it, I went and jumped into a group of strangers including this girl Holly:

They were very very rad people and were very complimentary of my outfit, so I decided that I was ON FIRE that night, and that everybody would be my friend. When Katy and I were slowdancing the first slowdance, I spied two boys standing at the side so we grabbed them instead and they didn’t appear to mind at all. Later I fell in love with one of Brad’s tutors (although I suspect I didn’t realise who he was at the time) when he whirled me around the dancefloor and told me to stop leading. How powerful and manly! Oh how I was swooning.

At one stage, I went outside to find Kate, and found her talking to a 15 year old kid who’d wandered up to boast about how he was on his 20th beer. When he turned around and said to the Asian girl behind him “I don’t like Asians!” I decided that was enough, and it was time for him to move on, so I went and found Brad, who grabbed a very tall friend of his and politely asked the young lad if he had a ticket. He moved on then. Apparently he was also kicked in the balls by a friend of the Asian girl. Excellent.

It was just such a fucking fantastic time. I danced and danced and danced, and although I didn’t win Prom Queen, I certainly felt like it, and so I successfully vanquished all my demons from dances at ASIJ 12 years ago. Oh yes, that’s right, all my demons. I’m totally a demon-free zone now. Honest. Here’s some more photos from the prom – if you want to see them larger, go to my flickr account page, obviously. And the best part of all is that Brad made a whole grand.

When Kate and I got home, we found Mark and Bart sitting out on the front steps drinking, so we stayed and talked to them for a long time, and I did the most awesome fall-flat-on-my-face fall ever. Radical.

The next morning, strangely enough, I felt like I’d been hit by a bus, but I dutifully rolled out of bed, showered and headed off to pick up Anji and Karen, via a ten minute wait at Macdonald’s for them to serve me up a burger instead of the ick that is the Macdonald’s breakfast. Not that their burgers are much better, of course, but this was an emergency. I got Anji to drive to Waikanae, because I still felt drunk. We went to Swell Cafe for Mum’s birthday brunch, which you might remember from the news stories about its quarter mill bronze statue being stolen. Or you might not. I don’t care either way. Ha! It was really nice there, but oh boy I was feeling ill. Then we went to Oma’s house to sort out more stuff and pick up more furniture and I puked some more and sat on an outdoor step and cried. I was very very happy to get home and unload the buffet and bookshelves.

After a nap, I went to the supermarket and made awesome sandwiches of streaky bacon, camenbert, hummus and rocket. Hurray! And I tried gingerly to drink some beer, but then switched to red wine. Around 11pm, I headed off to Nial’s house for Blair’s goodbye party. Luckily it was a very mellow night, just lots of sitting around in the very cute garden. I didn’t know people at first, but I was overly tired so I was in very giggly very saying lots of stupid things mode, so it was alright. The boy who I’d originally thought was gay talked loudly at me about how gay he was, and about how he used to make his ex girlfriend wear a Hayden Christensen mask when he flipped her over, and I felt ever so slightly embarrassed but mostly I just laughed at the things I was thinking in my head (*).I did tell the hot Canadian right as he was leaving that I fancied him rotton, and he laughed at me. Well, it wasn’t quite a “ha HA, like you could ever have a chance” kind of laugh, or even a laugh of pity, it was just a laugh and a “I’m sure you’ll get your pash this year”. And yes, I told him right when he was leaving, because I am laaaaaaaaaame like that, but at least I told him. So that’s all very well and good, and I don’t feel bad about it. And it’s good that he’s gone, because while he was a very easy crush to have, I just have far too much going on in my head right now(*). Oh, and of course he’s also a stupid maple syrup-eating surrender monkey.

Having been up until 5.30 texting, Sunday was a day for lying on the couch groaning and watching season two of the OC. I think much of the week was like that, actually. Hmm. On Wednesday I saw Capote, which wasn’t the feel-good hit of the summer. Then I decided I needed to stop feeling angsty about the number of people in my house (it’s strange getting used to having two boys and one girlfriend who is still trying to find a flat around, after living with only Anji for six months, but there’s no need for me to have a bug up my ass just because oh the pain, they’re sitting on my couches watching tv when I want to lie down and watch the Gilmore Girls in quiet), so I cooked a flat dinner for them and Brad. I was going to make a pear cake too, cos our tree is loaded down with pears right now, but when I got home, Del was already making one. Great minds and all that.

On Friday after work my workmate Sarah and I escaped down to Monsoon Poon for some very good conversation and some wine. She’s getting married in less than a month, and so she keeps asking me questions about things like invitations or social graces, or accomodation and stuff, which is fine, cos I’m happy to help, but it’s making me plan my own wedding something crazy, and hello, I’m not gettign married for another five years (that’s assuming Brad’s still single then). We were joined by the boys a while later, and then by Rene who is an ex collegue. Eventually KateB showed up to and by that stage I’d consumed quite a lot of wine. Sarah left and we had a platter of food which probably wasn’t nearly enough in proportion to the amount of wine we were drinking, and we went to Ponderosa where I watched Kate pee and she did the same to me. Not like, cos we were doing it in public or anything, just that we assumed that there would be stalls but it was one big room and so we decided to have a significant bonding experience instead. I was thinking that the bathroom looked mighty familiar and then I realised yesterday that it’s tiled like the one in Veronica Mars in which she does all her business. Ha HA ‘business’, do you like what I did there? (Yes, wow, that is a poo you should be proud of).

Somehow we managed to convince Dylan to come to a uni party with us (I did mention that the last time I went to a party at Jess’s there were both nipples shown AND a person in a panda costume), and we headed up to Kelburn via the supermarket for more wine. We probably didn’t need the wine. I had a good time at the party talking to Arthur and Brad who are at drama school together, and the fabulous Jess, and also Robbie, who as it turns out isn’t Lemon Cohen at all, and most awesome of all was that there was no one else from Salient there. Then Kate was a little worse for wear, so we decided it would probably be a good idea to get her home(*). When I saw Jess yesterday in Aro, she laughed at me for being like “omg, leave my friend alone! She’s been my best friend since we were 5, don’t hurt her!” cos people had placed flowers on her head. They laugh because after delivering that speech, I delivered Kate an all-mighty slap. Sorry babe.

Yesterday morning was consequently not much fun either, but I rallied by around 4pm when Anji and I went up to Mum and Neil’s for a BBQ. Boy it was hot, so very hot. I like BBQs. Then I went and picked up Karen and we headed over to Aro Park for the Bitchcraft carnival. I bought pretty earrings and we went and got fish’n chips and settled down on the grass to watch the Dukes of Leisure play. They looked like this:

I’m aware that you probably can’t see that much, but I’m hoping that it’s just that I have a crap monitor. If you can’t make it out, that’s a tree with a string of dead dolls hanging behind them. Anyways, the Dukes were very cool. They’re kind of sonic soundscapey like HDU or Jakob, and since I was lying on my back looking up at the stars, it was perfect. The Bitchcraft fair looked awesome when all the stalls turned on their little lamps. I felt like I was in an alternative Stars Hollow, and that is a rad thing to feel.Then I went home to dance the panda dance for Brad. I contemplated going to the Bitchcraft afterparty, but it was on the other side of town and my hands were still tingly with hangover. One of these days, I’m going to cut down on the amount I drink. For serious.

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Midweek Stopover & What’s Coming Up.

November 16th, 2004 — 7:29pm

Okay, so I’m going to try to write an update that isn’t purely about how drunk I got on the Friday night.

So like, this stuff happened and it was cool.

Oh no wait, it wasn’t! Ha HA, the joke’s on me. I got sick again on Monday night like I was on Saturday, so I took Tuesday and Wednesday morning off work. I did however go out for dinner with my daddy on the Tuesday night, cos I was sick and sad and felt in desperate need of some decent food, and I was too sick feeling to go out and buy vegetables. Then last night I went to Catch with Anji and Karen. Conveyor belt sushi is mesmerising, even if you’re not eating it.

At work we’ve changed servers and it’s all fucked up and there was a couple of days where my email address was joanne.mcleod before I realised and complained. That makes me mad. I should be working right now but I can’t print or send attachments and since I haven’t got back all my old emails yet i haven’t got my contacts and it’s all fucked up and grr. Stupid computers.

In good happy computer news, you will have noticed that you’ve now got the ability to log in to Hubris and post comments, so I would like to strongly suggest that you do this. The login screen will ask you for your postal address – now you don’t have to give me this, if you’re like, averse to people hanging out in bushes in front of your house and stuff, but I would heartily recommend that you give it some thought, especially if you can be reached by postal box. I am rather generous with the mailing out of goodness. When I get to somewhere ftp-able, I will be taking off the “first five people to sign up” line though, cos that’s long gone (you love me, you really love me, etc).

Tonight I am going to a quiz night with my daddy and his workmates. Joy! It might be fun, you never know. I don’t think I have any definate plans for the weekend, so please feel free to invite me to do something. I do, however, have exciting travel plans coming up – on December 1st I will be driving up to Auckland for three nights, and then on Saturday 4th I will be driving to Hamiltron and staying two nights then driving back to Welly on the 6th. If you’d like to accompany me for any of these legs of the journey, or see me in those cities, please feel free to drop a comment and let me know. THEN! I’m probably going to come back up to Auckland on the 16th of December for the Pulp Xmas party which I am tremendously full of “whatever am I going to wear?”ness of. Haha the English language is so my bitch and I will twist and molest it however I choose to. My boss told me off for saying “less wallplanners” today. When I realised what I had done I felt very very ashamed.

Television events that I am excited about: Australian Idol tonight and tomorrow – if Casey gets voted off, which she probably will, I will cry. If Anthony gets voted off, I will scream in joy and be extra nice to everyone. Also I am excited every day about coming home to a glass of Vanilla Absolut & sodawithatwist and watching my taped Gilmore Girls episode.

Here’s my parting thought for the day: wouldn’t it be cool if we had all had an extra mouth? I mean, you know, we have sexual organs that we can wank ourselves, but what if you don’t want to go all the way and you’re alone? What if you just want a nice kiss? Wouldn’t it be excellent if you could kiss yourself? I’d never leave the house.

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Pirate Appreciation Club

October 27th, 2004 — 5:23am

Oh look, now that I have handed in my behemouth (read: three times my usual word limit) article on my favourite band for Pulp (and I hope you’ve already gone out and bought the one with Zach Braff on the cover, cos it’s got about six things I wrote in it, and I’d really like you to, kthanx), I have some headspace to devote to my own website. Of course that doesn’t actually mean I have much to say, besides the usual rants and raves about being lonely.

I miss flatting with friends. My house is nice and all, but y’know, I just don’t get no hugs. And I really like hugs. I do get snuggles though from my very clever brave hunter who caught his first mouse yesterday and brought it inside to his food plate before I realised what was happening and threw it outside – where he proceeded to joyfully toss it up and down and around and around. How come killing things is so damn cute? And in other questions I want to know the answer to: which of you guys is it running Oh The Scandal? I’m recognising more than a few of those stories…

Last Saturday night I went to a party at Karen’s apartment. It was her flatmate’s masquerade 19th birthday, and as such, it was full of young gay boys and skinny fag hag girls who work in retail. I dressed up as a pirate – no one else did, which made me laugh. Needless to say the music was pretty
fucking hideous, but Karen and I just sat on the couch drinking bellinis and mocking so it was alright. Some of the people were lovely – I got accosted by a guy who works behind the MAC counter who told me to come in and get some decent brushes so that my eye makeup wouldn’t be so clumpy (I tried explaining that it was from the 100 yen store in Tokyo ten years ago), and also suggested I should start wearing individual false eyelashes – to which I replied that I don’t generally even comb my hair before I leave the house. Ahh well. He told me that I shook my booty much better than anyone else there – which is of course totally true.

In forty minutes or so we have work drinks to farewell Kristen. I’m anticipating not feeling very well tomorrow, as is generally the case after drinking at work. Speaking of work drinks, let me start another rant about how much I’m hating men lately. For starters, there’s all the stupid people on myspace.com who want to be my ‘friend’ without knowing anythign about me at all other than what was my favourite picture of my nipples. Then there’s the guy at Zebos last Sunday night, who looked like JeremE. Now, we were there for our work Xmas party, so it was pretty early, like 9pm or so, on a Sunday, let me remind you, so there was no real drunken-end-of-night excuse. Anyways, I went to the bar to get some more drinks and this guy started going “oh, vodka lime and soda, you have to be careful of that drink”. Now see, vls is a drink that I absolutely can’t get drunk on, so I’m like, you fucking pussy, and then he started going on about how I should try a rum, lime and soda, and so I was like “but rum comes back to get me the next day” and he was like “but it’s nice” and me being nice figured I’d just smile and nod and be friendly, so I was like “and I guess the good thing about drinking rum is that you get to pretend you’re a pirate” and he just gave me a totally blank look, so I was like right, doesn’t like pirates and there’s a cute lovely boy in the other room who I want to get back to, this guy isn’t going to get much more of my time of day. He asked how my night was going and I said we were having a work party for the magazine and he was like “oh you guys have been going for a couple of years now haven’t you?” and I was like “ummm, yeah, 73″ (although actually I think it’s 64) and he asked me what I did and I said I was the advertising manager and he was like “ooh you could make thousands of dollars” like seriously, and I was like “well it’s (such&such) media, so yes, I do literally make thousands of dollars – and that’s it” and then I couldn’t take it anymore so I left. Dick. Okay, so he was mostly harmless, but I’m just annoyed because why the fuck can’t someone decent take a shine to me for once? I have witty sparkling wit and charm to share. Y’know? Sheesh. All I’m asking for is a pash.

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