Hubris.co.nz

Wednesday the 6th of January, 1999

Okay, so I’ll be a verdana girl today. Except it’s not like, really really small. Or is it? Maybe I do have scars after all. I hope y’all know what I mean. You musta read those sorts of journals. Okay, the font’s going bigger again. Hey, it’s one am. If I wanna play, I will. (because I want to, because I want to)

We went to the beach again today, and these three little kids were singing all of Billie’s greatest hits (hahaha). Jo and I almost shit ourselves laughing as we joined in singing “Girlfriend”. Only, we don’t know all the words, so if someone wants to email them to me, I’ll love you long time. Then we did the “give it to me baby” thing as well, and got funny looks for grunting the “uh huh, uh huh”. Honestly, the kids were all like under ten. You’d think they’d be a bit more open minded. Jo didn’t try to drown me today, unlike last time, which is sort of a relief. She said that she never tried to, but we all know that she is lying.

Oh yeah, there was more to my day than just swimming. I left the house at 9am, and took Momma into the Bakehouse, then I went and did three hours at Leonie’s, and finished all the work she had for me to do. I got to use an Iris pen some of the time – that was fun. That’s like a tiny wee scanner thing that goes directly into text, if you didn’t know. It actually took more time than typing, but I was bored. Then I went home and picked up Charly, and we went to lunch with Karen.

We went to Sardine in the Duke’s Arcade, which used to be Cafe Aroma, with the most heinous organ player. But obviously it’s not anymore. All the food looked really nice, so I was kinda disappointed in my cajun chicken pasta, but it was still nice. This really scummy guy was sitting too close to us, which was a tad off putting. At one stage he asked Karen if he knew her from somethingorather – she so froze, it was kinda funny.

And Charly bought me a piece of chocolate cake, because I bought her lunch. Neither of us mentioned last night, so that’s a good thing I guess. I mean, I do feel bad about being so mean about everything. It’s just a bad time of the month I guess, and I’m super-emotional. No Mum, I’m NOT pregnent. I took so many pain killing drugs today, and they didn’t kick in until after the chocolate cake. Mmmmmm.

So yeah. Then I sent Charly to meet Jo at the fountain cos I had to go to the bank, and they took sooooooo long, like half an hour. I needed a bank cheque out of my savings account, but I couldn’t find my passbook, and I don’t have a card for it, since it’s supposed to be SAVING, and so there were all sorts of hassles. Eventually, I got it sorted though, a loverly big cheque for $3384. Unfortunatly, it’s made out to AIT, not me. Whatever happened to Free Education?????? Fuck you very much, Lockwood and Wyatt.

Annnnyways. Then we went to Jo’s house and quickly got changed, and went back to the beach we went to the other day. That’s where the kids were. It was cold, but it was still good, and it felt really healthy and bracing and all that good shit. Then I drove back to her house in my wet clothes, cos last time her and Charly perved too much while I was changing. You’d think they’d never seen a girl trying to put her bra on discreetly before or something!

So yeah. Back to Jo’s house, then to the dairy for eyescreams, and then I dropped her off in town and picked up my parents. We had nachoes for dinner, then I went to bed at 6.30pm, for a nap. I woke up sometime later, when i heard the vaccum cleaner, but drifted off again. I figured if Charly wanted to use the net, she could go on Dino (Baby doesn’t have a login script, and no one knows my Ihug password). When I woke up, it was after 10pm, she was reading in the lounge with my parents, and they’d unassembled the Xmas tree. I was so glad I missed that, cos I hate doing it. Stripping it of its ornaments and chucking it over the bank is so depressing. And boring too. Then I went online, so unless Charly was online this morning while I was at work, she wasn’t on all day long. Which is probably healthy.

Si thinks I’m not all that much of a bitch about the whole thing, which I guess is kind of a relief. I mean, I feel bad that I haven’t been very supportive. I wish wish wish i was a nicer person.

Wednesday the 23nd of December

Another 8am waking. This is evil. Why does working have to be done at that hoour of the day? Anyways, I was quite busy all day – people came in waves. I didn’t sell a single piece of jewellery though, which is good, because people who want it are always fucking indescisive, and I have to stand there while they hem and haw, since I would have had to open the cabinet for them. People picking over pottery can usually help themselves, apart from asking if the stuff is dishwasher/microwave/candle/being dropped off a tall building proof. In case you’re wondering, it’s all of the above. But I’ll just tell you now – if you drop pottery off a tall building, it’ll shatter. Use those shards to enrich your garden.

Fuck I’m an awesome saleschick. I sold about $1500 worth today, which is HEAPS. More than half of it was Paul Winspear’s stuff. He minded the shop while I went to grab some lunch and say hi to Jo (“Boxing Day!”). I got back to find him selling a $390 piece of his, only he charged them $3.90, because him and the eftpos machine don’t get on too well. Luckily a) the people were going to collect the piece the next day and b) they were honest and came back once they saw the mistake. So I rang up that sale correctly. Shit, did I just say ‘rang up that sale” ? How American can I be? I love zapping cards throughth the eftpos machine. Changing the roll in it wasn’t so much fun though.

Momma came into the shop in the afternoon and minded it while she sent me off to get Cousin Jacinta an Xmas pressie. I also got Karen a silver and green bead necklace from the lovely Jo at Narnia. Weren’t those books the BEST? Except once I realised how Christian they were. That sort of killed their rosy glow. But I digress.

In the evening, Amy and I went to see ‘Stella Does Tricks”, only it had finished its season, so we saw “Love and Death on Long Island” instead. It was quite good, I thought – Jason Priestly taking the piss out of himself. It was really nice to spend quality time with Amy too. She lost a ten dollar note somewhere between the ticket counter, and the table we sat at, three metres away. Truely truely bizzare stuff. It just vanished into thin air. I tried to pretend like she was just going crazy, but no! Apparently we both are. Sigh. I’m senile at 18. Then again, maybe there’s a black hole operating around me. I lost three eftpos reciepts today, and I haven’t got the faintest idea how, since I always put them straight into the cash box. I lost my wallet at the Rialto in sixth form too – maybe the two events are connected.

Afterwards, since all we’d eaten for our evening meal had been a large box of scrumptious popcorn, we went to Axolotl and had not one, but two plates of nachoes – the kitchen fucked up and cooked them twice. Yay. It’s so good, knowing the people I know. We had a really really good long chat too, which is Yay (good england!). I’m going to Midnight Mass with her tomorrow – but ONLY because she asked, and because we’ll go with her (scary) parents who know the owners of the Big Sleazy so we can get free drinks. I’m such a whore for alcohol. OOoooooooh scary thing happned today – I whored myself out for POTTERY of all things. Paul had this gorgeous purpley pinky plattery bowl in the shop today, and I fell instantly in love with it. It was priced at $90 – I knew he’d let me have it for less, but it’d still be expensive, so I asked him if I could do his next duty (on the 29th) for him in exchange. He was thrilled at that idea, so I get the platter. Now I’m worried, cos I normally hate and despise pottery. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Oh yeah, it’s for the good of the flat. That’s right. I’m sacrificing myself for group benefit. Besides, it’s not like I’ll have much else to do on the 29th – and I bet the shop will be deserted anyways.

I went to Midnight Mass last year too. I hate carols. I hate organised religion. Why am I doing this???

Oh, weird thing that happened, just before I go – I got an authorization request from this chick on ICQ saying she’d seen my page and she wanted to talk to me about it. Intrigued, I authorized her, and added her to my list too. This was a couple of days ago. I’ve been to her website and she’s a 15 year old American girl. We live in different time zones, and she hasn’t left me any messages. How bizzare. I sign people’s guestbooks, or if they really turn me on (like, not sexually), I’ll email them. Never ICQ. That’s just weird. That said, if you wanna ICQ me, by all means, go ahead!

Sunday the 20th of December

So according to my grudge book, I’m a concept. And I’m fucked too. Coool. I was thrilled when I read that cos I was like “YAY! My Helenafication begins now”. But then I realised that no, it doesn’t because I know who wrote it. You’re right, I did ask for it. I think it’s interesting that someone who wants so little to do with me keeps coming back to read more, and also knows enough to quote it. But then again, you always were in denial about everything, weren’t you?

That said and done, I can move on. (No, really I can). I worked four hours in the Bakehouse today. It wasn’t too busy, except there was practically always people LOOKING in the shop, just not buying. They’ve got really cool purple tissue in now – I guess Jo got the last of the orange. After that I came home to the message in my grugde book, and took a minute to work out who it was from.

I was sitting around working on Karen’s Xmas pressie, when the phone rang. Within a minute I was out the door, on my way to Johnsonville to pick up my Onslow Best Friend (I figure I have to catergorize my best friends since I’ve got like a girl in every port – or so to speak). I haven’t seen Penny since like – June maybe, cos she’s always away with the Navy (yes, i know!). So that was fantastic. Her parents have moved to Cortina Ave, which is like the personification of Johnsonville Suburbia. So many of my friends from Onslow live close to it. It’s like Edward Scissor Hands town meets a big treeless hill. So that was kind of weird to be going there, given how few Onslow people I’ve kept in touch with. Sarh used to live at 80 Cortina Ave, in such an ugly characterless house. I soooooo want to call Dylan, espeically since I saw he has a story on the front page of the Independant Herald. So what if Sarah gets mad? There’s no friendship there to loose now anyways.

The Benton Parents were also over for dinner, but Penny and I took over the lounge, giggling over my scrapbook of saved notes and her drawings (just wai til I get a scanner!) Ahhhhhhhhh the old memories. We played hardtrance in the car to bring back those old rave memories. And we watched Spice World. That’s like the tenth time for me. It’s gotten to the stage where I start giggling a minute before my favourite bits, because I know it so well, and because it’s SO good. That’s not sarcasm. I fully love the Spice Girls. Geri Forever!

When I took her home, we stopped in the quad at Onslow so she could have a go driving the van. Then we turned the stereo up as loud as it could go, and danced hardtrance in the wind and the mist, in front of a school and a life we can’t return to. That hyped us up fully, so then we drove up and down the driveway, managing to get airbourne over one of the speed bumps. Driving back to Cortina Ave, we left the windows open and roared, Scary Spice style, at all the kids we passed. We went avisiting to Rosalie’s but she wasn’t home, so we went to Narelle’s – who wasn’t home either.

I was so suprised to hear from Penny, especially since I’d just been thinking about her this morning – after dreaming about Pixie (the girl, not the cat). I’d been feeling so much that nothing had changed since I’d left school, and I’d kept feeling like it was still 1997, but I know now that it’s not. A whole year has past, and I’ve changed a whole lot. I reaslised just how confident I’ve become when we were dancing in the Quad. Blossomed I could say – if I wanted to blow my own trumpet.

“And if you could see me now

Said if you could see me now

Girls, you’ve got to know when it’s time to turn the page”

Friday the 18th of December

I got up today before 11am, out of my own gumption. Are you impressed? I guess the loud mixer going in the kitchen added a little extra inncentive, but that’ll be our little secret, okay? Mum was making the desserts for the Bakehouse Xmas party we’re having on Saturday night,so I helped her with those. We made a biscuit log

1. whip cream with icing sugar and cocoa
2. dip biscuits in sherry and sandwich together with the cream in a long line
3. leave it in the fridge for at least a day
4. cover with more cream and chocolate
5. serve in slices cut on the diagonal

it sound simple but if it sits for long enough, the biscuits turn into really rich cake and it’s absolutley gorgeous. Don’t tell me that this journal never does anything for you!

We also made rum pudding, which is super nice and is basically just eggs, cream, sugar and lots and lots of rum. I have such weird memories of food. Like for example, one time we were staying in a hotel in Austria, and I got left behind for half a day everyday while the rest of my family went skiing. Although I couldn’t have been more than four, I was a really good skier, but just was too young to last the whole day. Anyways, I think there were two other kids in the day care, and one day, the woman that was looking after us took us in a special lift right into the hotel kitchen, and we were each given a bowl of something that tasted like rum pudding. It was like the yummiest thing I’ve ever eaten. I tell you, my memory is probably too strong for its own good.

But yeah. So that was the morning. I did three hours at Leonie’s again, doing more typing and more cateloging. It’s easy work, except that my wrists started to get a bit sore, which probably isn’t very good. Just so long as my back doesn’t get fucked up again like it did in September. That was such hell. I thought for half a day that I had haemarroids cos it hurt SOOOOO much to sit down, before Karen asked me “what sort of chair do you use?”. Since the answer was that I use a chair whose back had broken off, I figured it out. Fuck it was good to not have haemarroids!

In the evening, I dropped Mum in town for Neil’s Xmas party, and went back home to veg for a while. Around 10pm I went into Smacksalot, to wait for the olds to call me for a ride. The place was hella busy, but since Joseph and Mark were there again, I went to sit with them. I was going to order dinner, since Mum had given me some money, but then Anji plonked a plate of thai chicken down in front of me for free… Yummmmmm. Steph was crying, so I think she’d fully fucked up an order or something. She got happy again after a couple of drinks, and I sat listening to her and Siobahn’s stories in absolute hysterics.

A friend of theirs was with a guy with a really small penis one time. Eventually she said to him “Can you stop fingering me and get on with fucking me please?” He was like “what are you talking about? I’ve been going hard for the past fifteen minutes”. Whoops!

So that kept me entertained for a while. Gregor came and sat with us too, and I asked him if he was still at IBM, which he was. He asked me if I was still in school, and I was like “No – I was at AIT in Auckland all year”. He was like “FAAAAAAAAARRRRK I’m out of touch”. It was really funny. As soon as Anji finished her shift at like 11, she went shopping with Aaron, since the Markets were open till midnight. I didn’t mind staying in Axolotl though, since I know all the staff, and the lads were still there. But then they decided to go play pool, and asked me to go with them. Well, I’ve always had a tiny crush on Joseph, and I figured Mum and Neil wouldn’t call me until midnight, so I agreed. I asked Steve, the owner, to tell my parents I’d be back in half an hour if they did call, anyways.

But then Joe and Mark decided to go to Coyote instead of to play pool. There I was, in like my derelict too baggy jeans, an op shop dress that isn’t very styley, no makeup, my glasses perched on top of my head, a useless bra, and a wallet that was too big to go in my pockets. Sigh. So I looked like crap, but I still went anyways. There was an awesome house dj playing in Coyote, so I went as hard as I good being sober, poorly dressed (jeans falling down) and carrying my wallet. I stayed for about twenty minutes, leaving after they played Armand’s Startrucking remix of Proffesional Widow. That’s like my all time favourite song to dance to in the whole world. I only wish I could’ve stayed longer, had been drinking and looked better, cos Joseph was really drunk. HAHAHAHAH fuck I’m traj.

So I went back to Smacksalotl, and just had time to order an iced chocolate from Louise before my parents rang. The perfect crime. They never had to know about my detour. Rock On! So that was the highlight of my night. Oh joy, drunk potters and other assorted loosers at my house tommorrow. Oh Joy, my mother stressing over cleaning. Oh double joy, MUm drinking and spading Paul!

Tuesday the 15th of December

Go and check out my Grudge page, and come back here later when I’ve actually written my journal entry, okay?

Okay, now I will write it up. I worked all day in the Bakehouse, which was long and boring, with the only respites being a quick visit from Jo, who gave me a shock cos I didn’t see her coming in, and I gasped in Terror. Not at her, honest! And oh yeah, Karen came by in the afternoon, and listened to me talk (for 20 minutes straight, apparently) about my adventures to Hamilton. She’s moving into Anji’s flat, cos Jen Troup’s moving to Washington DC for six months. Both my sisters living together in the coolest address in Wellington. Rock On!

Mum was in a real shocker of a mood, probably cos Paul wasn’t paying her enough attention. That woman is SO tragic, man! She was slamming things around, so I took the initiative to drive home. Her already crap driving, in a bad mood, in rush hour? That’s like, my worst nightmare.

In the evening, around 9.30pm, I went into Axolotl to see Anji, since she’d been so sad on Sunday whnen I left her. I timed it well, cos Joseph, my honey, was there, so I got to sit with him and a loser called Mark. (I think there’s something about that name that dooms them to loserness). So that was choice. Joesph was like “howcome we haven’t seen you on Shortland Street yet?” He cracks me up. I got to hear stories about his blowjob in Dunedin too from Mark – I think that embarrassed him a little. Once they’d gone, I sat by myself for a while, then K came to talk to me. She was really down, which, I imagine, is mostly due to the fact that she’s having an abortion tomorrow. Poor girl. It’s not something I discussed with her, but Anji told me. I took her flowers the other week after seeing her look really sad in town. I just wish there was more I could do! We had tortillas and guacamole – you know that you’ve got it good in a cafe when you can get another bowl of sauce for free, without even having to say a word! Plus I paid all of two dollars for a brilliant feed, and a hot chocolate. I love Wellington. I’m going to hang out with Anji on New Years Eve, cos she can get me a tab, and she rocks. Time for new adventures, I say. I just want to score. Does that sound really bad? Too bad, cos it’s true!

Any offers?

Monday the 14th of December

Mum had to wake me three times this morning before I dragged my lazy ass outta bed. I’d been dreaming about being in Hamilton again, and it was really weird cos (can I say this without being beaten to a bloody pulp?) I was hanging out with Young Sarah, and I was fully loving her. I guess wanting to sleep is what you get for staying up til 3am talking to weirdos (yes, that’s you) on ICQ. Anyways, it was worth getting up, cos I went Xmas shopping with Momma. After doing James Smith (and fuck he was good!), and picking up $100 cash from Andie for two days at the Bakehouse while there, we went for lunch at Felix. I ordered a passionfruit muffin, but I think the fates were aligned against me, cos it came out with about a half a cup of icing sugar dumped all over the top. Sure, that might not sound that bad, but I’m telling you, it was! The sugar pouffed off everywhere, covering the table, and nearly choking me to death. I couldn’t clean it up, either, not with five serviettes. Maybe it’s anal, but I’m always so mortified whenever I make a mess in cafes, like I’m a bib-needing baby or something. I guess the other way I could have played it was to pretend to be a coke baron, totally in the money. But nah, I was with my mother, and I doubt she would have appreciated it. And besides, after snorting salt once (hey, we were in a military base early morning, we’d been on a broken down train all night and I hadn’t had one iota of sleep and well…. it seemed like a good idea at the time) there is no way I would snort non-illict substances.

Ummmmm so what did I buy? Well, I had the brilliant idea of getting Momma a voucher for a CLASSY haircut from Rodney Wayne, so I got my daddy the Bad Jelly the Witch cd – apparently NZ’s the only country that loves it! I also got him a tie from a trendy op shop, which was $4.50 and therefore kinda expensive. The only good thing about Mount Roskill was the baptist church shop there, which I do believe I was responsible for keeping in business. Anyways, back to my Xmas shopping. I got Anji some underwear from Farmers (classy classy) for her birthday which is on Boxing Day, but no Xmas pressie, cos I just couldn’t think of one. Momma bought me a cool top from the markets which she’s going to give to me at Christmas – it’s embroidered with a large flower, which according to Fashion Quarterly, is THE motif of the season – as I pointed out to Mum, Butterflies are SO last spring. Then we were passing Mischief (the NICEST, FRIENDLIEST shoestore ever) and I reminded her she’d said she’d buy me some shoes, if I could find some that I wanted. So we trotted in, and I picked up a pair that I fancied, and said to the guy “You probably don’t but – do you have these in a size 11?” (don’t mock my shoe size without remembering that I am six feet tall!). Wonder of wonders, they did! So I popped them on, and instantly loved them – we were in and out of the store in 5 minutes, almost. The shoes are black wedgey slip ons, with like, almost platform soles. They’re so trendy you must have seen them around. I liked them cos they were comfy, they fit, and they’ve got to be cooler than my boots. We also got a free inflatable alien with them, that’s lime green and two feet tall. I walked through Manners Mall with it sticking out of my bag, and everyone gave me funny looks. They also yelled out things like “HELP! I’m being abducted”. Ho ho ho. So yeah, that was the shopping. I love Xmas. It’s such a cool time of year.

What other stuff did I do? Well, it was Make Out Monday, so naturally, I was glued to the TV set – except I don’t get to see Savannah cos Neil wants to watch the news at that time. Malibu Shores was SUCH a piece of trash, even by Spelling Standards. Choooice! And Melrose just gets better and better.

I also found out that I won some stuff from United Video – YAY, even if it is only a lost in space tshirt, a swingers soundtrack, and some vouchers. Free stuff is always good. I only won it cos I was trying to help out people put a proposal together for why United needs a new website, so yay, that rocks. Another exciting email I got was from a website saying they’d publish something I wrote – double Yay. Oh look, no link. Go Fish!

That’s all. Only eleven days to get your xmas gifts to me, so get cracking!

Saturday the 12th of December

Saturday. This makes two weekend nights I’ve been home in a row. No wonder I’m depressed. EVERYONE is either busy tonight, or too tired to go out. Jen Troup told me to come to this d&b rave at the James Smith, but I don’t wanna go if I can’t go with anyone. Sigh. And there are like a thousand movies I wanna see and all, but yet I’m just sitting here at my computer. I’m really trying to finish off my Gathering story, but it’s hard. It was nearly a year ago after all, and it was just so… I dunno. Very intense.

I was in Tandys today, and I saw the Gathering cd and I just about cried. I so so so want to go this year, but I can’t afford to, and none of my friends or sisters are going. Besides, I figure it’s time I moved on. I mean, I’ve been to the Gathering two years in a row, and while both times were very different, they were still the same location. I should get some more experiences. In 95/96, I went to the party where I met Ben. That was just a regular couple of parties, and that turned out great, so I don’t NEED to be up on a hill to have a good time, do I? Besides, if I go to the Gathering this year, I’ll just spend the whole time thinking about Matt, which I don’t need to be doing. It’s funny cos I went to Nelson in 96/97 so that I wouldn’t be thinking about Ben, which is when I wound up going to the inagural Gathering. The next year I went back with my sisters and to meet Matt. And now I think that it’d be a good idea for me not to go, so that I can move on with my life. Jo said that I could hang with her, which’ll be choice, if I can just relax and actually get comfortable with strangers.

Today was her picnic in Civic Square, which was cool. She has so many friends man! Just like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower is Our Jo. I just felt a wee bit out of place, because I didn’t know anyone, and I was really tired and not at all chatty. But it was cool anyways, I still had fun. It’s just funny how seamlessly she blended in with MY friends. I guess some people are just more outgoing than others. I’m just not so comfortable in large groups. Or in any enviroment that’s not my own. For example, on chat, I’ll be like the queen bitch, and totally dominate, but pretty much only in #left or possibly #mirc – rooms that I’m used to. That’s okay though, cos I know I’m so much more outgoing than I used to be. I wish that ASIJ held a reunion in Wellington, or my Onslow friends came to Auckland. I’ve got this real need for revenge, or to like, prove that I’m better now. It’s kind of sick I guess. If I still have that need, maybe I’m not better. Fucking hell! I’m thinking too much. This is the problem with staying at home and being bored. I watched ‘To Die For’ with my parents, but that only took up like two hours. Now I’m talking to some guy called Mark from the Vision project, and I’ve sent him some of my short stories that are going to be used in collabarative efforts. The only problem is that ‘Frozen’, one of my favourites, and the one he wants to use, is the story that Justine stole, and had published on reckoning.net. Bitch. I mean, it’s weird cos I don’t know her at all except from hearing a few things about her from Simon, and from her webpage, but I feel like we could maybe have been friends if we’d met a different way. That doesn’t excuse her stealing my whole story concept and claiming as her own, without giving me an inspiration credit or anything. I hate being petty, but it really does bug me that she did that.

While I have all this time, I’ll tell you a wee little story that i was just thinking of while working in the Bakehouse yesterday. No, actually I won’t. This entry is long enough already, and not everything needs to come out on here.

Friday the 11th of December

I worked at the Bakehouse AGAIN today, and NO ONE, female or otherwise, came on to me. Maybe I’m loosing my charm. But OOOOOH Oooooooh, something exciting DID happen to me – I got quoted in Annette’s journal, and now I feel like a star. Thanks Annette! Not that I know her, other than reading her journal every day. I have like five people’s journals bookmarked. I feel like a voyer sometimes, but it’s so fun, especially when I start interacting with those people a little.

Ummm. That’s really about all. Thanks for reading this anyways! I’m so sure there was other shit I was going to mention, but now I can’t remember. I sent a letter to sothere.com today. I bet it won’t get accepted but oh well.

AAAAAAAAAAAH can’t take the pressure but I have nothing else to say. Umm Helena’s journal entry today is SO nasty, and so I figure if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all, and I’m going to cut this short now.

What to give Joanna for Xmas

cds – or just cd vouchers to make sure you get it right

*The Gathering CD, either Placebo, Portishead Live (enhanced version), “My Body the Hand Grenade” (Hole bsides) etc

makeup – I especially want some rogue pulp loreal lipsticks in any colour

more vouchers from any store

umm stuff. Cool stuff.

Jewellery

stuff from infomercials, especially knives and pots\

spice girls merchandise – but only if it features Geri

Radiohead’s Video compliation thing – Seven Television Commercials -

Where’s that watch taking you? Kate rang me awake from dreams of Banana Barons with hairy necks, to ask when we were going to the As Seen on TV shop. She told me it was 10.30am and said she’d pick me up in an hour, so I rang Amy to arrange a rendevouz. Amy told me it was 11.30, and I believed her, so I rang up Kate and pointed out the error of her ways. Together we discovered that her watch also believed it was the 3rd of January, 1995. Never trust a casio baby g, even if you wanna be trendy. So once we’d established the actual time, and stuff, I arranged to meet up with A&A in front of the shop at quarter to two.

Kate and I went to Queensgate before hand, trying not to act too cool to be in Lower Hutt. It was hard. We were scared. But I think the guy that served us at macdonalds was scareder cos Kate was going hardcore to get her free big mac. She wanted to get a voucher just for enthusiasm – I had to drag her away.

At least Macdonalds was happening. I was SO disappointed in the As Seen on TV shop. It was just all these untidy boxes, and ugly people clambering through them – just the type of morons you’d expect to watch infomercials. (Me watching them while drunk/in Hamilton being the exception). There were no Victoria Jackson cosmetics for only $1 each. The only thing I was mildly interested in buying was the Susanne Paul ‘Blue Monkey’ cd/video/tape for $2. But the que full of ugly people was too long, so I flagged.

I went to Horokiwi with Amy and Andee, but Amy was in a shit of a mood, so that sucked to my asthma. I think it’s her boyfriend. I’m not at all impressed with him, and I do wish she’d end it. Really I am just thinking of her own good. Like, as much as I hate the guy, if he did good things for her, it’d be okay. But he just drags her down into the shit. I shouldn’t go on about it – it just really upsets me to spend time with her when she’s like this.

Ummmmm that’s about it. I baked a chocolate cake for my mommy who said she wanted one. But then she went and had dessert at Smacksalotl before she came home anyways. Sigh.

Oh, and I started a new section on my page – it’s for thoughts that don’t quite fit into my journal. Find it here. I’m in an ICQ chat with all these people from Vision now, and they’re talking complicated stuff, so I’m going to go sit in quiet awe now. Byeeeeee.

Stalk me at the Bakehouse tomorrow if you like.

Wednesday 9th December

Am I somehow radiating “women, please come on to me” smells or something? I was working in the Bakehouse again today, and this woman came in and was looking at jewellary for over half an hour, which is not a usual thing. She made me model all these earings for her, and wanted to see them with my hair up and down. She was all “how do they look?” – as if I’d say they looked stupid when I’m trying to make a sale. She stopped to comb her hair even, all the while sending out these vibes. Then came the clincher – she said “I probably shouldn’t say this, but you’ve very attractive” – I almost shit myself trying not to laugh. I was so relieved when she left – after buying three pairs or earings, I might add. And so she fucking well should have, after wasting all of my time like that. I felt kind of sorry for her – she was like a Khandallah/Remers woman who realised too late in life she shouldn’t have married that rich suitable guy because she just doesn’t bat on his team. And of course, in her society there isn’t much she could do, so she sticks with her two martinis at lunch and a bottle of wine every evening, and meddles too much in her children’s lives and hits on poor innocent shop girls because she can’t accept that she’s a lesbian. Well, sorry Lady, but your team doesn’t float my boat, and even if it did, you wouldn’t be my sailor.

Nevermind. I still managed to sell like over $700 worth of stuff in the shop today, which is pretty darn impressive. Customers are just so boring though. Then again, so is having no customers. That’s okay. I just systematically destroyed furniture to fill in the time instead. And rang around, trying to fnd a friend.

Eventually I settled on Andee cos she was all that I had left. I picked her up from Amy’s house, out in Llamaville, and we went to town for David Straussan. He was SO funny! I was completly skeptical, given that he is a ventriloquist and all, and Carroll, his manager was so dodg, but no! His show fully rocked my socks off. If anyone wants to buy me one of those dancing dinosaurs, I’ll love you for the rest of my life. Free stuff rocks. I saw Carroll as we were leaving, and said thanks for the tickets. She said “I’m glad you enjoyed it” as she stroked my arm. Andee and I went to Slotatl after that, and Anji made me PAY for the coffees, which shocked me greatly. Ahhhh well. Then I drove her back home to Horokiwi, and watched Amy playing Quake for a while, enthralled. You just know I’m going to become a Quake junkie next year. Someone help me now please.

Oh yeah, and I was thinking about funerals, and music, and I decided to maybe have ‘Viva Forever’ played in addition to ‘Miss World’ and ‘Street Spirit’. I mean, I’ve had so many good times with the Spice Girls, I think it’d be kinda cool for all my friends who come to the funeral to have a chance to laugh – so maybe ‘Wannabe’ would be better. I taught my mother the dance moves for ‘Stop’ this morning in the car – she learnt them like a thousand times faster than I did. Anyways, I’m always curious as to who’d show at my funeral. Pleaaaaaase sign my guestbook now and let me know if you’d come. Ta.

xoxoxo