Hubris.co.nz

Today was a long leisurely lunch with KateH, devouring the wonderful vegetarian antipasto at Roasted Addiquition (I can never spell that right) <!– She said terrible terribly funny things –>. After that she asked me to drive her to St. Lukes to buy socks, so I said okay, temporarily forgetting how much eviler malls are when they’re crowded on public holidays. But hey anyways. So she got socks, and then cos there was a big sale on we went and looked at underwear and she said “you’re going to write this in your journal aren’t you?” but I’m not going to write what she thinks I am going to write, so HA!. Apparently I am not to email her to her work address to ask what kinda panties she’s wearing though – go figure. Bonds panties kick ass. PANTIES! PANTIES!

Then I sat on a sofa in a clothing store and read magazines while she tried on other clothes. A girl stripped off her top to try on something else in the middle of the store – I was suitably impressed. I heard someone else say “Bok! Bok bok!” so I immediately thought it was o and I spun around but it was just someone random commenting on a feathered top. Stink. I guess I just had panties on the brain. After that there was lipgloss and eyeliner purchases at Kmart and we walked around for ages and ages trying to find a present for her younger brother. I was full of helpful suggestions like “what about a toaster?”. She ended up buying Singing in the Rain for herself, and we went back to her flat to watch it. That film kicks ass! (Sidenote: when we were in Farmers, there were tshirts with lame logos like “girls kick ass” on them. There was one that was okay, but fuck, I can’t remember what it said now, except that it should have had an apostraphe in it but it didn’t, so she couldn’t buy it). But anyways, yeah, now I am wishing that I was a tap dancing star, and lusting after all the clothing and houses and stuff in the movie. While we were watching it the phone rang and Mazzy scared Katie by singing the title song down the wire at her, because she was after me and Clay had told her where I was and what I was doing. I love my stalky stalky friends.

After that I went home in time to meet my mummy and her friend Paul who have been in Auckland for a potters’ convention. We went and had dinner at Fraser’s in Mt. Eden, which was really really yummy – I had a kaffir lime infused risotto with bok bok bok choy and crusted chicken breast, mmmm. And because the place was unlicensed, they had to come back to The Slab afterwards to drink a bottle of wine, and it was uncomfortable cos Ben was around and he was being his usual stupid moron self. They’re gonna be back here in exactly eight hours to pick me up so I guess I should finish packing and get some sleep. I’m all warm and glowing from a bath using the passionfruit and echinecia bath bomb that Willow Shoes sent me. Also, my willow shoes are great and I love them a little more every time I put them on.<!– gee, look at how fucking self centred I am – “I” had lunch, “I” drove to St Lukes, “I” am self centered – that’s terrible, I’m such a terrible person –> (Explanation from 2010: the Hamilton guys attacked me in my guestbook for daring to be upset when I found out that Scott had died in the cheese factory)

I couldn’t be bothered rounding up any friends tonight, and I thought my fiance was going to be in town but he’s actually in Raglan, so instead I stayed at home and watched teen movies by myself. Now, that’s not actually as lame as it sounds. Well, okay, maybe it is. But I’ve still enjoyed myself immensely <!– oh yes, I enjoy myself on average  at least twice a day lately, but that’s beside the point –>. But anyways. The whole teen movie thing kinda promoted me into planning to write a disection of my life according to teen movie rules whilst I was watching American Pie, but then I watched Cruel Intentions 2 and it was so terrible and amusing that I lost my plot. It was a porn movie without any porn.

So yeah, afterthat I really can’t be bothered addressing the myths and traditions and all like I planned to. Besides, I think we all know that I’d just be writing it cos right now I have a craving for skin to skin contact that’s not being fulfilled. I want kissing! Dammit, why oh why did I pass my Slut-Stick on? (oh, and think of that like a relay rather than a vibrator please, like fuck I’d give up my purple friend). Although of course the girl that I passed it to fully deserved it and everything, and I’m so NOT calling you a slut, but you know that I do blame you for the fact that no one is putting out for me anymore.

I got approximately two hours sleep last night, and of course I once actually got to sleep, Ben came home and was loud and so i woke up and took ages to get back to sleep, grr. My alarm went off at 7.30am because I was supposed to go to an 8am class, but I realised there was no way that I could make it,so i txted Jinan to say I’d meet her at 10 in our office to finish off our Com Strat assignment and that’s waht I did, although my eyes were barely open. She accused me of being hungover,which wasn’t at all true – I don’t know why I couldn’t sleep last nioght, but eventually i got so bored of tossing and turning I got up and typed ten pages of notes taht I’d taken in three hours at Borders yesterday afternoon. So yeah anyways. We finished our com strat, and then I went to see KateH for the very last time at her current workplace and Cam called me Babe and I swooned and then I came home and slept for another four hours. This evening while I was watching some kind of wonderful, Clay came home very briefly to change his shirt and to bitch about Ben eating his food again (I’ve stuck signs up on the fridge and cupboards with this little ditty penned by Maree and typed by KateH “This is Joanna’s food – if you eat it you are rude – buy your own you lazy ass – you realyl have no class – love kate and Maz” and there’s a list of all my stuff he’s eaten that I want replaced stuck to to the TV, you can call this petty but it’s just fucking ridiculous, especially when his rent isn’t going through either). Anyways, what was I saying about Clay? Oh yeah, he was bitching, he changed, and he was out of the door before he was like “ohh whoops,” and so he came back to hug me, then left again. Heh.

Top’o the morning to you! To be sure, to be sure! You see, the ting is…KateMandIwentout to celebrate St Pats day today around 2.30pm. It’s only like 9.30pm now but I had to come home cos she had to go elsewhere<!– answering a booty call, no less –>. I’m full of baileys and guiness and doing easter eggs right now so I’m fairly content, especially since it means that Ican review how far I’ve come. Last St Patricks’, she said I was thepopular one, yet this yearit was her with the homeless people asking herfor kisses. Apparently I will be popular next year, we’re taking turns. Her friend Veggie Jason also came out with us (as opposed to ‘Hot Jason’) and so that was fun. Her and I got stick on tattoos from the barman that said “Kiss me,I’m Irish” so we had txting competitions, trying to send that message to more people, but we both peaked at 15 I think. Or was it that we each had 15 people starting with J in our phones? Something like that. KateM is a bad influence on me.

When did I last write? I suspect it was some time ago. Friday I braved insane traffic and lack’o parking at lunchtime to bring KateH Mercury plaza for her lunch, because I love her that much and also because I’ve behaved badly towards her lately and while that doesn’t make up for it, I’m all about tokenism. Later that evening I met up with her and Nicky and two of Nicky’s friends at D72 and we had dinner and fun and then a big drive around Mission Bay (“Nicky,are you taking me to a lookout point? are we going to make out?”). Then I went to the supermarket in Mt Eden for beer and C batteries (life’s essentials) and figured that since I was in her neighbourhood,I’d go see KateM. So I hung out with her and Elliot, and I ripped my skirt all the way across one of its panels. Damn fifty year old perishable Thai silk! So that sucked. Elliot tried to talk me into going out to dance to house music, but oh please. However, he did say that he’d go on boat tour’o the Ports’o Auckland with me, whichwas immensly pleasing since everyone else just laughs at me when I suggest it. Come on people, it’s FREE! So there. Anyways,eventually I had to go home cos i was falling asleep, and also because my skirt was so ripped.

On Saturday Shirley came over and we hung out and then Richard came over and we hung out some more. We’d intended to go dancing at bEd, but by that stage we were too ‘tired’ to actually move, so we had to give that one a miss. But still, it was nice to spend some quality time with her. Which brings us to Sunday, which is today, and which is where I started this journal entry.

Someone just sent me an AIM going “this sounds like a weird question but are you short?” I talked to them briefly but they kept saying “lol” so I started to ignore them. Lol my ass. OOOh, FINALLY I can get ahold of my Diane, so I will go and call him now and refuse to scan my nipples for him, on the grounds that my scanner isn’t working and I only offered to get his attention.

<!– So, news coverage today focused on 9/11 commemorations in New York.  It’s been six months, which means that I’m officially off Fluox.  I still have some pills left over (in fact, I suspect that I might actually have a whole month left over that I should pick up from the pharmacy, due to my slackness in taking things daily – I really should investigate this and then sell them to my friends who think antidepressants help with comedowns) but that’s beside the point.  Apparently I am no longer crazy.  Oh sorry, excuse me, I was never crazy, just depressed.   Remember, my quality of life depends on you, or something like that –>

I smell something burning but I can’t figure out what. I’vebeen checking the stove and various electrical fittings and all, but I can’t findanything out ofthe ordinary. Odd. Also, go HERE and join my notify list. I guess that’s not related to burning things (unless it was a “To: list@hubris.co.nz – Hi! My house is burning down. The smoke is filling my hallway and I think my skin is puckering from the heat. The electricity hasn’t shorted out yet, but I’m sure it will. How far down do you think three stories is in terms of broken bones? Cough cough. Ohh, my legs are on fire, it’s climbing my bod….” Sorry,is that poor taste? <!– because really, I taste excellent. –>) but it is on my mind, so there you go. Don’t ask me what I’ll send to the notify list,but I’msure it’ll be all sorts of exciting treats.

Today I spent two and a half hours after a lecture working on my Com Strat with Jinan. I’m still confused about the differneces between objectives, strategies and tactics as defined by the PR World (Maz – any thoughts?) but we’re pretty much done with our first assignment. I think we were helped a great deal by the fact that our mentor was super efficient in the information she gave us. It made me feel good to work hard like that. I was also happy that the sandwich place in the Imax building has gone back to having sundried tomato paste instead of actual sundried tomatos. Advacado, tomato, carrot, cucumber & sundried tomato paste in that order on rye swirl bread and a takeaway cappachino and I’m a student all over again. Of course, I’ve done no studying this evening but hey. I did bake a banana cake which grrrr Clay’s taken a big chunk out of without asking. Plus Kara (grrrrr!) was around this evening like an hour before he got home (apparently she doesn’t like walking to our house from the hundred metres away bus stop in the dark) so I had to offer her some, and that just really bugs me. I know you think this sounds petty, but none of you have to live with her, do you Katie? NO! And if you did, you’d be smart like Anji and Daniel and dislike her too.

I got someone else’s email yesterday because of the lack of current @hubris forwards right now, and in it someone else had described me as “a dope-as chick” and that just made me smile and smile for ages. Is that up there with “your hair is choice” ? Probably not quite, but it’s certainly better than “I exist to get your pants off” (Note to self: update lines page). Yes, I know I’m far too easily pleased – although then again, there are people who would argue that I’m far too picky (“what? you want someone you can actually have a conversation with? what the fuck is up with that?”).

I’m going to have to move the dining table into my bedroom real soon if there’s no sign of carpet laying happening, because I very much doubt that my desk could handle being assembled and then disassembled and reassembled again. This whole sitting on the ground thing is waaaay overrated. Fuck the Japanese(oh wait hang on a minute, didn’t I already? <!– he had shaved testicles which I presume were an attempt to make his cock look bigger –>)! Even if I put zabuton in here instead of a folded up duvet to sit on, it’d still be too uncomfortable for the long periods of time that my upcoming essays will require.

What else? I’m restless again and considering going for a drive, except that I’ve been north recently, and I don’t want to go souther than Greenlane, and I’ve never really been West, and to go East I’d have to go South, and besides, what is there to do out East? I did the supermarket shopping yesterday so it’s not like I can go do that (although I could replace all my food that Ben’s managed to eat since I bought it – grrr, I am SO angry that I’m tempted to leave a louise-esque note for him – he always does this and I’ve asked him many times before not to). I miss KatieB like mad. I hope it’sall going well for her down there (emailme, bitch!). (I’m very much in a brackets mood tonight)

Yesterday I was woken out of a nightmare by JeremE calling to see if I wanted to have lunch with him <!– yeah duh! –> but today’s dreams were just about weird Japanese supermarkets rather than flat-out nightmares, so that was good.

Ben pissed me off totally totally by borrowing my car “for fifteen minutes” when I told him multiple times that I needed to go out before three and so he wasn’t to go have adventures. Luckily I was clever enough to delay my work appointment by half an hour, because he got back at 3 exactly. Ooooh I was angry. He claimed he’d only been to work and to Oporto and to the petrol station but then when I got in the car I realised that he must have been hotboxing it. Grrrr. No more car access for him. But anyways, I made it to my 3.30pm meeting anyways and got my briefing. I’m going to need to talk to Maz about it,this whole doing PR work for free for charity.

Oh look, and now I have nothing else to say. My fridge is full of food as are my cupboards though, because I am currently rich, since my parental allowance went through this week, as did my last week’o dole (although to be honest, I have yet to call them and ask them to stop it) AND Ben finally paid me bond, like, five months after he moved in. And so therefore I had enough money to go to the supermarket and vege store, as opposed to only ever having enough money for Mercury Plaza and cheap wine. In fact, I even went to Mercury Plaza today and bought only lemons, because I’d forgot them at the vege store and I realised on my way home that I needed them for my spinach soup. I can’t make spinach soup as good as KatieB, but I suspect that might be party to do with the fact that she puts cream in hers, wheras mine is the vegan version.

Also, I finally hung the big purple mosquito net I got for Xmas over my bed and it looks awesomely cool and vaguely haremy.

Me: “I love this song” (She Speeds, Straitjacket Fits) – Anji “I bought a copy of this song when you were seven years old”. How rude. Anyways, so would you firstly like to hear about my day, or about my week so far? Show of hands? Day it is then.

When I woke up, my nose and throat were still sore, stinkies, but hey, at least I’d got some sleep – and strange dreams as usual. I knew i was supposed to go have lunch with Karen but there was fresh baked bread and brie in the kitchen so I figured I’d have breakfast first. And so I did. I also yelled at Mum to please stop asking me questions about what I was up to today because i really can’t take the whole having to be accountable for every second of my time and she knew very well that Karen wasn’t answering her phone because she’d just called and so how was i to have been able to arrange lunch? But Mum was very nice about it and put my clothes in the dryer for me so that i’d have something to wear. Unfortunately that meant that i had to surrendar my sheet but it’s actually fucking cold down here so it’s probably just as well. I wish I’d thought better and packed more warm clothes but then again, I packed whilst stoned <!– he’s such a gentleman that he always lights it for me whenever we smoke –> and in two minutes so I guess that wasn’t the smartest idea ever. But anyways.

Eventually, Anji and Linda were ready so we drove to go and pick up Karen. We’d wanted to go to Imbibe for lunch, cos I’ve never been there, but it wasn’t open, so we went to Olive and I had two absolutly divine coffees and a quesadilla. Mmmmmm Olive coffee. And then Karen and I went shopping, leaving the oldies to look through their photos again. I went and got 200g of X for Mother and 200g of Cuban for myself to take back to Auckland from Midnight Esspresso, and then I tried to decide what to get her for her birthday. Also, if you ever want to get me an amazing present, convince the people in the second hand books/clothes/stuff shop on the corner of Cuba Street and Swan Lane to sell you one of their two giant Playmobil boys. Thank you. I ended up buying Mum “Nature’s Best” which is an NZ music compilation cd that I’d planned on giving to Neil for his birthday, but since that’s in June, I have more time to think of something else for him. I got a free disposable camera with it, even! And I also made myself a beautiful necklace in the Bead Store, for only $3.50. Excellent. And then we went and had hot chocolate at Felix and walked up to the Embassy to get our tickets to see ‘Lord of the Rings’.

LOR has been screening for what – two months now? And the Embassy seats 826 people, but it was still completely full, at a 5.10 session on a Thursday. Crazy. But we did manage to get seats – good seats even, because the woman at the ticket counter took a shine to us and gave us her own personal seats. Yay for that. I liked the movie a lot. I adore Elijah Wood – of course, even if i hadn’t seen the movie I’d still love him from the way he kept hugging all the New Zealand tv reporters at all the previews. And I’d be very happy with a doubleteam of Legalos and Aragorn to defend me. Mmmmm. I’m smutty.

After the movie, we went and got cheap (and not very nice) Malaysian food and then went back to Karen’s apartment where I did things to her that made me laugh and laugh and laugh but what I’m not allowed to write about. And then eventually Anji came and picked me up. So yeah, that was my very very exciting day. So do you want to hear about my week now, or are you already bored and flicking away to something else?

Okay, so Sunday was Ben’s 21st party, kinda, although it ended up being more my friends than his, I think. I got to see Steve and Olivia and Kini though which was cool. And KateM and Elliot, although she told me off for flirting with him but I wasn’t really hardly even. And JeremyO<!– who’s bitter that when I introduced him to s&o&k I was like “but it’s not THAT jeremy” –>. And KateB, of course. Some wanker passed out in my bed and so she slapped me awake from my sleep on the couch to get me to move him. He wouldn’t move so I kicked him and swore at him a lot. Previously he’d been really pervy and disgusting and icky anyways actually, and he makes me so mad I don’t even wanna write about him, so I won’t.

On Monday Justin woke me up by calling to meet me for lunch, and while I was talking on the phone ot him and trying to get my head together, i realised that there was someone lying next to me on the bed so I was like “oh fuck” until my eyes managed to focus and it was just KateB. Phew. Although I’m sure she did dirty things to me while I was sleeping, of course. KateH arrived and we went to drive down to Justin’s work but then my car wouldn’t start because it was completely and utterly drained of petrol, thanks Ben. He is of course refusing to top it up claiming no responsibility, so grrr. KateH even yelled at him over the phone. Anyways. So we ended up calling Justin and meeting him and KateH’s flatmate in the Imax foodcourt, which was a very bad idea beacuse it was very bright and very crowded and Iw as very very ill and everything was spinning and far too dazzling. So as soon as i was able to, I crawled back into bed.

On Tuesday, I was feeling much much better, thank god, and the house was also even a little tidier. It was raining though, and it took FORTY MINUTES to get the Link to Newmarket to meet JeremE for a drink. To put that into perspective for you, I could have walked there in 20, so I really really should have, except that it was raining, and I was wearing heels. Damn rush hour traffic and unreliable buses. But anyways, so I had a drink or two with Jeremy and then we went and got Mercury Plaza and hung out for a while. He left right before the start of the final of The Secret Life of Us, which was excellent timing (KatieH, did you get the tape off Clay yet? he also has your key to our house, presuming he hasn’t given it to The Evil One). So I had a sniffle at the TV show, being the final and all, and then Clay came home. He was cutting a promo for a kid’s movie called “My Dog Skip” and Iw as absolutely disgusted to find myself crying at that. And I did my packing, and shortly after midnight KateB and Mischa arrived to pick me up.

I don’t wanna write about the drive down because there were some fucking freaky things that happened, although it was nice to be with Kate, een if her kitten did piss on me. Just it was very long, and we were both very wired, and seeing accidents is fucking horrible and thinking that maybe a ham sandwich saved your life is fucking freaky as well.

We arrived in Welly about 10.30am and I had a couple of drinks because I was so fucking wired and then tried to sleep. I managed about an hour long nap maybe. Still, in the evening I went out with Anji and Linda (who’s staying here) and we met up with her friend Gregor who bought me a drink and chastised me again for not dressing up as a schoolgirl. I promised him that I would do better next time and that Iw ould have if I’d packed properly. Although i doubt i would have, because it’s SO FUCKIGN COLD down here. And sure i bitch about the heat in Auckland, but it’s always about how the grass is greener on the other side. I like Jet Lounge because they have Finlandia as their house vodka. I also dropped past Ayna’s cos she’d told me she was going to have a big night but she wasn’t home. I got to say hi to Kartini though (who doesn’t live there) and apparently, it’s all about Bass Frontiers on Friday night at Sub9. Excellent. I might even take Anji and Linda with me.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Let’s see if I can figure out how to log into Saturn from here. Ohhh apparently I have a cunt directory. Hahahaha excellent.