Hubris.co.nz

7am, I’m lying happily in bed, fast asleep when all of a sudden Maree comes in my room and jumps on my bed. Who gave her a key to our house??? Oh yeah, that was me. Whoops.

Oh, just before I go any further, Helen Urban – email me!. I have no contact details for you, girl. Ta.

Today I eventually got my shit together and went into tech to burn a copy of my cd rom, and put my other stuff together, but the goddam fucking lab was being rehauled so I couldn’t. I went to another lab to print out my cv, but of course in that lab, the printer was un-networked. Grrrrr! Very annoying. So I went home, then went to the bank to pay rent, and did the vege shopping instead. Vegtamables.

Later in the evening, Brad and I went over to Maree’s to watch “3rd Watch” because she’s being The Nanny Named Fran again, and couldn’t leave the kids. Brad went back home afterwards to eat dinner, so Maree and I sat around her kitchen table drinking tea and feeling like terribly old adults, me reading Christian magazines while she talked to James on the telephone. The rest of Garland came back with Brad – well, Jeremy Clayton and Kara anyways, and we played Postits. Clayton was Dirk Diggler, and we all guffawed mightily when he asked if he was known for just one thing. It felt strange to have the whole posse there, but to not actually be @Garland.

Kate B officially moves her stuff out on Thursday. Yesterday it was a year since Simon told me he was moving out, thus setting in place a chain of events that has been….interesting… to say the least. Well. I’ve been doing pass-throughs of her room to retrieve stuff that belongs to me – makeup and jewellery and towels. She gave me five boxes of condoms from Family Planning, because yeah, I really need them right now. They’re extra thick ones, which Jeremy told me are like gumboots. Nice.

I don’t know how to cook Roast Turkey, but we’re doing Roast Turkey for Thanksgiving Lunch on Sunday. It was going to be dinner, but Miss World’s on that night, so we have to watch that!

I haven’t written up my crazy night on Saturday, have I? Well, should I do that now? Possibly yes, yes I should. Okay then. It was Andy’s 21st, so me Clay and Brad drove out somewhere way way west in my car – I was happy to drive, because as the invitations said, by request there was no alcohol but a delicious fruit punch would be served. It was in a sports hall, which was a little newer than many sports halls, so that was cool. Andy’s mother’s kept the most amazing records of him growing up – writing down all his funny quotes and recording soundbytes of him ever since he was two. Listening to her speech, I was just thinking “awwwwww, i want a baby so i can follow them like this too!”. Incidently, Kate Benton dreamt that I was actually three years younger, and also pregnant with my ex’s kid. Thanks Kate!

Anyways, lots and lots of Andy’s friends and parents and church members made speeches. Brad and Nigel did one together, and played the “Big Tittie Monday” song Andrew wrote to promote Ryan&Jarrod’s Big Tittie Monday radio show – I dunno if the Salvation Army members fully appreciated it for the true piece of genius it is. I’m so going to get a copy of it. I must make a multimedia section for my site – I can also put in the video footage of Kate M talking about my horrible death, and oooh the video of Dancing Simon. Heheehe, I love that video so much! Anyways, eventually all the speeches were over, and we’d even prayed a little (which I thought was kinda nice actually, although when I prayed it wasn’t to any religion or to any being that I feel I know) and we all ate far too much sugary food. Andy wanted to dance then, so naturally, the Gang was called on to start off the dancing, so we did. Sugar sugar sugar is a mad thing – I even ended up dancing a jig, or trying to anyways. Nigel stagedived off a chair and we caught him. It was also nice that it was good wholesome alcohol free fun too, for a change. Not that it’d last though…..

Okay, I’m bored now. Tomorrow I will write up motorway chases, banging on windows, bathroom conversations, long walks, Brendon Lovegrove talking about my clit, barking, and the casino.

“am I famous for just one thing?”

Thursday August 30th, 2000

I am so so so so so so wired right now, so excuse me if I babble. I haven’t slept in like 36 hours, except for a two hour nap last night. Last night I was up late “helping kate” with a website assignment she had (if she gets an A, which is fairly likely now, I get a half hour back massage, and a two course breakfast in bed). I went to bed before 3ish, but I have like a zillion things to do right now and so my mind decided to list and evaluate all those things instead of letting me go to sleep. And then I had to get up at 6.30, throw some clothes on and zoom out to Sky City, and PICK UP MY LITTLE BABY!!!! Yaaaaay Si’s in town. So that’s very very exciting. And Brad was just as excited when Si showed up in his bed – I didn’t tell the boys when Si was gonna get here, as I wanted to surprise them and we did.

I’d intended to go straight back to bed, but I was feeling all chipper and hyper on lack of sleep, so I made waffles instead. Clay had to go out, so Brad Si and I had a lovely breakfast together before Brad went off to tech. I felt like a good American sitcom Mom. I tried not to fall asleep in order to keep Si company, but then he went and slept anyways, so I did some work. Eventually I made Si get up so we could go to town together. We met up with Brad in the radio studio, and went to the Bakehouse Cafe for lunch. Then they made me go to my Instructional Design for Multimedia class, yawn. Peter Mansfield has progressed from calling me “Joanne” to calling me “Jo” now, and I’m not happy.

Si came to my MMbroadcasting class with me. It was so exciting, really it was. Ian logged us all onto some other server so that we could bypass the firewall to look at streaming media. Wahoo, what an experiance! Then we met up with Brad to give him a ride home, and as the motorway was blocked, we went via Newmarket and the Warehouse. Man I’ve missed Si’s momma’s warehouse card!

I spent the evening “helping kate” after dropping Si in town for some concert thingie. Then Clay came home, and I helped him put together party bags for his party. He bought $50 of pix’n mix candy. I imagine this is why I am feeling so wired. The bags are cool, man. There’s a dollar mix twist bag in each, and a hat, and a horn, and a milky bar, and it’s all stuck down with pokemon stickers. Clay’s so excited about his party, it’s so so cute. I just hope it all goes smoothly. Lollies lollies lollies. Kate came home and gave me a V, which I drank without thinking. Sugar sugar sugar sugar. I went and watched her play with makeup, and obsessed over my hair. I had bits of it twisted up while it was still wet today, so it ended up all wavy, like every single tv star has it this season. Then we waited around til like sometime past one am when Si finally texted me for a ride home. Kate drove, because we could both see how babbling and jumpy I was. In fact, I should be in bed now. More songs should use xylophones, I think.

Tom and I are going to get married on the 29th of February, but I’m not telling him which year it is. This way, every year he’ll be renting a powder blue tux and waiting by the phone. Brilliant.

Wednesday July 28th, 1999

Man, I am soooooooo tired, like keeling over in my seat. I just spent an hour making Kumara Gnoochi with Roast Tomato Sauce. So go figure. Oh yes, AND I spent a motherfucking whole fucking hour and more on the bus coming home from tech today. And before that I spent like 50 minutes on the bus coming home from tech. I came home in the middle of the day cos I had a four hour gap and nothing to do. I needed to nap, anyways.

Why did I need to nap? Well, quite apart from the fact that I’m ALWAYS ready for a nap, I’d had a bit of a rough morning. We went out for Kate’s birthday last night, you see. Drinks at her place, and then I shared a bottle of wine with Marisa at the restraunt. SPQR made me the most gorgeous gnoochi in the world, with bluecheese sauce and stuff – mmmmmm! I was initially really scared cos I got introduced to a guy called John, who looks just like Kate’s dad, and because her boyfriend’s named John, I thought that was him. But luckily Amber put me straight, so I didn’t have to worry for Kate. Well, not too much, anyways.

Kate passed on information I’d told her in confidence so we ended up having a huge big discussion all the way down one half of the big table about that, which was actually quite amusing. Her friends were all really cool, especially Bailey who I kept thinking was named Britteny. Oh yeah, and Marisa and Theresa rock my boat, too.

So yes, it was all very good. Kate and I had tremendous reminiscings at her place while we were drinking beforehand. We used to be really nasty to each other. She told me I’d once put her off her favourite dress by saying it was ugly, and not good enough to wear to my birthday party. Meanwhile, she told me I had a big nose and fat lips. And yet, despite all that, we’ve been friends 14 years. Kodak Moment!

Anyways, as a consequence of last night, I was really dizzy today. Plus I have a sore throat coming on, which sucks.

I learnt HTML today. Man, I’m so proud. I’d show you my efforts but they’re on the network at tech. But stick around man, cos BOY, they’re worthwhile!

Also worth noting was that I talked to last year’s Eye Candy today, which is always cool.

Wednesday 17; February, 1999

This is the invitation I made for our flatwarming. Obviously, on the original, my address and phone number aren’t blanked out. The thing is this – if I wanted you to have them, you already would. So there. And yeah, it’s invites only, I do believe.

Obviously the invites are made to be cut up into little pieces. I only gave one sheet of them to Leyton – he said he’s not going to be inviting too many people. Gee, I wonder why? Drying dishes while he washed tonight, all he could talk about was that if you don’t rinse the soap off dishes, it’ll give you cancer. Jesus Wept, boy – talking to you will probably give me cancer first. Either that or I’ll die of fricking boredom.

My arms hurt a lot today. You see, I walked up to the vege shop up the road, then I carried home a big and very heavy box full of vegetables. And my arms also hurt from making Risotto, since it takes so much goddam stirring. Still, it was nice though, and healthy. Too bad if the boys are having problems with a lack of meat. Leyton ate like 2/3rd of the risotto – it was truely terrifying. Then he cooked himself a steak and it smelt awful and made me feel really really nauseous. I hid out in my bedroom cos they were watching the cricket, and got my parents to call me for a natter. I’m such a dutiful daughter. I probably should have called Karen instead, but hey – she can fucking call ME someday. I’m so not made of money.

That’s about all. I’m missing Andeee and Amy looooooots – there’s like never anyone online anymore that I really want to talk to. Oh, but Heather’s back, which is a definate YAY. And that’s all I have to report. I lay on my bed for like half an hour today, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I like my eyes a lot, I’ve decided.

Wednesday 3; Febuary, 1999
I set my alarm for 10am today. And I even woke up then too – to change the alarm to 11 and go back to sleep. It’s nice to be back with bFM again, after Channel Z in Wellington went to hell (or shore/westieville Auckland Channel Z anyways). The dj was Daniel, who’s in my tutorial at AIT. So that was nice, a familiar voice, and some good tunes. I’d actually woken up at 5.30am again, ankles covered in bites, which is never cool, but had gone back to sleep.

Once I did finally manage to drag myself out of bed, I got clean and all that good stuff and jumped on a bus into Newmarket. I had to recharge the Mercury card (god it’s annoying that the post shop up the road can’t do it) and also, I’d realised the night before that it was only a week until my mother’s birthday. AND I had to set up automatic rent payments, although all three boys seem to be paying me in cash, and not the right amounts at that. God that sounds dodgy. Oh well.

So yeah, I did all that fun stuff at the bank, then I bought Mum some perfume and face stuff from the body shop. I think the perfume was called “Leaping” or something, and it’s really nice, so you can buy me some if you like. Then I found her a photo frame which I can put the photo below in.

anji has very nice breasts

Me, Anji and Karen. Feel free to admire her breasts. I do.

Speaking of breasts, a stranger sent me hers! Yay! So they’re up on the breast page. That was really exciting. PLUS yesterday, I got the whole Frozen Lake mess sorted out, so I’ve been acknowledged as an inspiration for a very similar story published on Reckoning.net. So that’s choice too.

Back at home, um, I didn’t do much. Tried to nap a little, only they were mowing the lawns next door. My bed still wasn’t delivered, but in anticipation of it, I created an advertisment and application form for it. Thanks to Annette cos I stole her code. Go ahead, share my bed.

hahahahah that’s traj, but oh well. I cooked dinner again (fuck, I’m such a good bitch) and Clayton was happy. Possibly he’s getting tired of vegetarian fare, but all the meat we have is sausages and chicken legs, both of which don’t rate highly on my list of things that are cool. He washed the dishes, and did it really badly. I hate people that use luke warm water. When I do them, I only use the hot tap – except in this house because the hot water is too hot, and I don’t know where to adjust it at. Honestly, I have to turn the shower dial to half way between ‘warm’ and ‘cold’. Did that make any sense?

I didn’t have much of a point to the above paragraph. In the evening, I discovered a show called ‘McCallum” starring John Hannah, (4 Weddings and Funeral, Sliding Doors), which, considering my fetish for accents

Sunday 28; February, 1999

“I like ‘The Mask’ – that’s a really good movie”

That’s a little wise tidbit from Leyton, who also happens to be wearing bogan black jeans today. Honestly, the people I live with! Simon and Clayton ganged up on me today and whipped me with tea towels. Oh the humanity! And I had to give Clayton step by step instructions on making cheese sauce and various other things for making Lasange. And Simon called me “Momma” today – and I think he did it by accident too. Fucking scary.

“I’ll buy you Persian Carpets to enhance your floors”

“I can’t assasinate you – I’m in love with your daughter”

“A king who won’t fight for his kingdom shouldn’t be king, Johnny”.

I think I have a new fetish – old Elvis movies. I watched “Harem Scarum” tonight waiting for Si to get offline, and it ROCKED. So completly Wow.

I got 14 emails today, and like 10 of them were from one person. Hahahahahhaah. That kept me vaguely amused, in between being beaten by my flatmates. Small things keep small minds occupied huh?

I’m going to buy a Brazen Berry lipstick tommorrow. I think. Don’t hold me to that though.

Oh yeah, and HI to Kate’s flatmates who are hoping to find out more dirt on her/themselves. So um……. she’s afraid of horses.

xoxoxox