Hubris.co.nz

There is a ridiculous amount of good food (ie – vegetables) and liquor in the house. You should come over. I will cook you the best dinner in the world.

Well hello there! It’s been a long time hasn’t it? Today has been spent in my pajamas, some of the time watching “The Shining” and some of the time standing in Bo’s doorway hissing “REDRUM! REDRUM!” and some of the time making and eating kickass guacamole. Freshworld, what used to be ummm something else, near Mt Eden Foodtown is now officially FUCKING EXCELLENT. Karen and I were drooling at vege shops up in Kerikeri, but this is now officially as good.

Oh yeah, I’ve been up north. For four days it was just me and Karen and my parents’ van and the open road. It was pretty choice. We stayed in Whangarei, Paihia and Pukenui. I went swimming in the ocean, through great big forests’o Kauri, to NZ’s northern most point, and horseriding along Ninety Mile Beach. All of it was pretty fucking spectacular.

My holiday came at the end of my exams, which were also the end of my graduate diploma, my year of study etc etc. It’s strange cos I’ve been happy ever since I started on cipramil, but there was just the hugest sense of an anticlimax at the end, and I cried some, cos it felt like no one fuckign gave a damn at all. For some reason, I still expect people to care when I achieve things. I guess I have this vision of someone popping up with an enormous novelty cheque. But anyways, later that night, Ammy managed to get all excited for me (I’m so glad i’ve discovered her again) and with her help, I perked up and we drank many bellinis and went out to see the Rogues play at the Galatos basement, and Lawerence did fat harmonica improves and it turned out ot be a fucking excellent night after all.

I have one week of only working part time, then I start full time til the 10th of January in the office I currently work in, only doing some’o the computer guy’s job as well as my own. I feel very not up to the task, but it’s okay, cos if there’s ever anything too complicated, I can email him and say “oh, shall I go into your database and fix it?” and he’ll freak out and do it by remote access from Ireland instead. Muahhaha. I’m liking my office – although it is currently full’o turmoil and drama. Maybe that’s why I like it -because it doesn’t affect me.

I’ve been having an influx of very very vivid dreams lately. I dreamt about my latest crush twice – probably my mind’s way of reminding me it’s highly doubtful I’ll ever see him again. Those were nice dreams but I’ve also had very traumatic realistic ones as well, which I could so do without.

Homework that I’m supposed to be doing for Kulpana (look, I learnt her name!) is writing a list of all the things I like about myself vs. all the things that I don’t. I’m becoming even more selfaware but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m any more in touch with my feelings. She’s suggested that maybe I am far too influenced by other people’s opinions of me. If I say that maybe she’s right then I’m just proving her theory aren’t I?

Next Saturday, I am going to Rumba – the pop music festival. Brad’s dad got tickets for free, and to quote Brad – “well you were the first person i thought of, of course. i mean, who would appreciate a whole days worth of crap pop music better than yo ho jo?”. Yo Ho Jo is of course my pirate name. Yaaaarh.

Last night I went to a BBQ at Dee’s house. When her husband introduced me to people, he was like “oh, you’ve met them before, but you were drunk”. Well at least I wasn’t fucking wearing boat shoes or talking about yachting! I couldn’t drink last night as I was driving. Still, it was nice to catch up with Dee again. I’m giving up on people who don’t return phone calls or texts, I can’t be assed making the effort all the time.

Hmm, that’s probably about all the update you need for now. If you want to know more, then you can email me. You know how.

xojo

Wednesday September 12th, 2002

And I can’t remember where we are, but hey, i kinda know her, so my parting words whispered in her ears are “great shorterm, no longterm” cos he’s a friend’o a friend’s, and it’s just too complicated, and blah blah blah alll that bullshit, you wanna backtrack?

So we track it back to class, or to plenary meetings and joseph saying “yeah she’s stroppy, come talk to me” and then we fasttrack through a work afternoon til I leave a little early and go home, and roll up my suit skirt til it ends above my knee, and I go like that in my high heeled boots. In the next two hours I manage six glasses or so of wine, but yet the only significant people I talk to are froom the North Shore City Council that I used to work for, and also, one of my friend’s fathers, who owns one of the most important PR agencies in town. Of course, the last time I saw him was at her wedding when a guy with an English accent was shoving his tongue down my throat til I made him take me outside so I dunno what that does for my cred.

Anywyas, afterwards, somehow we end up at Lauren’s and there was lots’o liquor left after our party, adn I’m composing texts to send to Haley in my head about certain issues (boys boys boys) and oh you know, drinking more. I discoverd that Renee too is also into dnb hphp, and that’s fucking choice, so we is gonna go out sometime. And there were people spilling their red wine on the carpet so I tried to help them clean it up, flushing out the stains, but then I fell backwards into a pot plant, spilling pebbles everywhere, and fuck the guitly conciounse FUCK I AM TOO DRUNK TO EVEN SPELL kicks in, and while we have the vacuum cleaner out, and David’s helping me and continuously patting me reassuringly on the shoulder Is tiil feel bad.

Eventually we all get encouraged tomove on, so I’m at teh Safari Lounge for ages, and KateB’s ex flattie is there, so I’m all blah blah blah and there’s more drinking and stuff but I’m so barely concious and so I take a taxi home and fuck I wish there was someone to cook for me. 5tomorrow there is work all day, then haircuts and parties amnd cleavage and probably at least two people I’ve slept with, soi that’ll be fun! but at least I’ll look sexyh

xojo – oh and did you order my zine?

Clay has no faith in me, or perhaps he has too much faith. Either way!

When did I last write? Probably a while ago. Ahh, Wednesday, when I was sick and dying. Right. Well, Thursday I got up and cleaned the kitchen with Clay – we scrubbed inside cupboards and everything. Ben started moving out around 6pm, which was also when Bopa started moving in, so I found that kind of amusing. When Ben left finally I wished him good luck. Apparently he’s going back to Thames and he’s going to become a fisherman. It seems that the big city has broken his spirit. I’d feel a little guilty for that except that i told him he owed me $175 and he only gave me $80.

We had some bubbles to celebrate Bopa moving in, and chatted to her friend Rabbi who was very nice. She went out to some gig, Clay went to hockey, and KateM picked me up and we went down to The Classic to meet up with KateH and see EyeTV’s last ever gig. After watching Sammy doing his MC intro, Katem and I realised that we hadn’t had dinner, so we went down to the Tanuki’s cave for yakitori. When we got back to The Classic, Soda were still playing. They were okay; nothing exciting. I was amazed at how empty the place was, and that it continued to get emptier and emptier, just because it was after 11pm by the time that EyeTV started playing. But they were so good! I love the singer. Of course, you may very well have noticed that i have an obsession with the singers of Kiwi bands, which works out well with KateH fancying drummers. Then again, I have started to notice the finger-work of bassists more and more, but that might just be my dirty mind. Anyways, they played Basement Static so I was stoked, and of course they played their other hits (if I was to reference you, ‘Just the Way it is’ would cut out in the middle), and we boogied lots and lots up the back. As a followup, Luke Casey noticed us dancing, and I’m sure he was impressed, so that’s cool. I couldn’t figure out why I was so comfortable with Sammy, since i’ve only met him a couple’o times whilst working for KateM and I realised that he reminded me completly of someone, but it took me until today to work out that he looks just like Olivia’s Steve. I was still very sick, and when the discoball started spinning, I was spinning too, doped up on night&day, and brufen and champange and passion cosmos. Kate was like “are you okay?” and I was like “I pay hundreds of dollars to feel like this sometimes!” which was of course an exaggeration, but still, the swimming feeling was kinda fun.

On Friday I met with my tutor in Persuasive Communication to discuss my forthcoming seminar, and she gave me some starting points – cognitive dissonance and social judgement theory if you wanna send me some papers on those topics. She also reminded me that attendance at all classes is compulsory, and then gave me back my mark for my first speech. I got 14/20 on it, and I’m wellstoked, because I also got a whole bunch of constructive comments and yeah, I kinda wanted to pin my mark to our fridge.

After that, I ran a bunch of errands and got my hair cut. Mmmmmmm scalp massage. Note to anyone who ever wants to watch me purr – play with my hair and rub my head. Thank you. After that I went up to the Office and did a whole bunch’o research using proquest; AUT’s library has gone all hightech and e-resourced since I left. And then I went to Mezze to have lunch with Dee and Shirley and Maz. Two PR girls & one in training vs one unemployed journalist; if we’d gone with our stereotypes (Dee walked in talking on her phone) it could have been very amusing. But we didn’t. So yeah, it was nice to catch up. I haven’t seen Dee since I went to see all her wedding photos, so I really should stay in touch better. She didn’t ask about the microbiologist friend’o her husband’s, and that is probably a good thing.

After lunch I was still feeling weak and tired and sick , and I got home to find a note from Bopa saying she was gonan be away for the weekend, so I decided to rent some videos. I joined the Source and got 10 for $10, even. So I watched ‘Occasional Course Language’ (shit) and later ‘Angst’, which I really liked. That’s about it, I think. Yeah, sleepysick, duvet on couch.

This evening (today being Saturday of course), Clay and I were watching ‘The Sting’ (which is excellent) when his friend Brad-friend-of-boatshoeguy showed up on our doorstep. He was just bored, so he stayed and watched the rest of the movie, and then when Clay went to bed (giving me a pointed look on his way out that suggested that I was not to seduce Brad or I’d be in trouble) he stayed and watched ‘Nightwatch’ with me as well. Exciting. Actually, it was just nice to have company; Clay’s always out, I’m not even entirely convinced that Bopa lives here yet and I’ve been too sick to pursue my friends very much and too sick to really go out (i probably shouldn’t have gone to EyeTV, but LAST GIG EVER waaaah, I was almost teary at the end). Now I’m wearing too much red lipstick and pouting in anticipation of the gangster-poker dressup night we’re planning. But I really should go to bed; after all, I’ve been ever so active today.

So I’ve been online for like 30 minutes and I still haven’t managed to read a single one of my emails yet. I really must change email accounts.

I bought two heads of brocoli today at 15 cents a head each. This is a good thing. I got them in Northcote, if you’re interested. Today again I was driving around the Shore investigating venues. It’s great. I like Rob in the car division – he gave me a manual drive car today when I told him about the stupid things I did with the automatic last week (I was wondering why the car braked so damn jerky when I was being super gentle until I realised that I was using my left foot on the brake, which as we all know is wrong). There’s a couple’o pajs parked down in amongst the company car pool too – I’ve promised Brad and Clay I’m going to try my hardest to get to take a paj out for the day and I’ll come and pick them up and we’ll drive through Remmers darling. Anyways. So yeah, Northcote/Birkenhead in the morning, then Devenport and Albany in the afternoon.

I had a meeting with the PR Consultant lady I’m working with who’s only in 2 days a week and gave my report and she said I was going well, and that I have full authority to go ahead and book the venues and start drawing up a timetable. Scaaary! I’d much rather someone was checking me every step of the way, but I just don’t have that at work – they leave me up to my own devices. I’m very good at looking busy. I have email at work now, finally my own key and login, but so far I’ve only given my email address to essential contacts (read: Kini and Olivia). I’m trying to be good. I don’t want to fuck this all up. I’m alredy worried about finding a job in February, because I know I have a tendancy not to be very good at seeking things out because basically everything i ever need falls in my lap. Except for my paycheque – grrr! I don’t get paid for a fortnight, and I’m in malls and shopping areas for half the morning – all my xmas shopping could be done by now if I had a cent left in the bank. Ahh well. Tomorrow I’m going to be in a working party conference anyways. Have I mentioned that I get business cards?

Wank wank wank wank wank. I actually am often left without anything to do, so I call Shirley, and since I’m in an open planned office, the people around me would hear
“Hi, it’s Joanna here from *, is that you Shirley? How are you?…….. Right, I’m calling in regards to the communication briefing I received the other day……….. No no, that’s fine……..yes I was in contact yesterday but we decided to not pursue that avenue any further for a while…. yes of course it’s re-occuring….I appreciate that…. absolutely, I’ll just make a note of that…….. yes…. yes….. well would you have some time free for a meeting?…….. how’s today for you?…..alright well we’ll scheduale something for next week then” and then my boss will come back and I’ll want to ask her something so I’ll hang up on Shirley really abruptly going “Great, well thank you very much for your time”. I’m SO a kid in heels and pearls. Nevermind the fact that the rest of the office spends their lives on the phone having really boring conversations with their car insurance and real estate agent places that I can’t help but evesdrop on. Or maybe they’re all speaking in a secret code too. Hmmmmmmm, intriguing!

Because I spent so much time driving today, I came up with a list of memorable car moments that I jotted down because I was bored. You know how I like my lists. Sheesh, anyone would think that I was incapable of stringing together anything more cohesive. And ha! I’m going to alphabetize them by the first letter in the sentence:

• A memory from Primary School; the greatest day of my life ever at that stage was when I got to sit squashed up next to my Crush – Andrew Carnegie – to and from a netball tournament
• Amy and Andee taking me over the harbour bridge by mistake, playing the Spice Girls and bumping the car to cheer me up
• Anji and Greg taking me up to Auckland for Pearl Jam when I was 14, determined to corrupt me and we picked up a dumb hitchhiker who said “Youse guys”
• Countless Welly/Auck drives with Kate B, listening to Cat Stevens, blowing bubbles and taking mad photos left right and centre
• Driving myself to Wellington thinking so hard that later I wrote a 7 page essay on the appropriate course of action to take as a consequence of that thought process
• Driving to Welly with Simon and Matt Sawkill in the backseat, me giggling away to myself like the cat that’s got the cream and is mixing its metaphors like a DJ with religion.
• Going to Waiuku for Kate H’s goodbye party, Justin putting the car in neutral going down a hill and it kept going, freefalling
• Kim speeding along Greenlane West at 3am in the fog when we were on a mad sugar rush and couldn’t see 10 feet ahead of us
• Kini in my rear view mirror, the magical drive into the Coramandel
• MM in the MR2, subwoofer under my seat, lost in Remuera at 4am trying to find food cos we’d been up arguing all night
• Pajero pulling up outside my house in Mount Roskill, Shirley and Dee Cavalry coming to be with me when I found out that Opa died
• Pixie’s friend Sam’s orange pumpkin car, tinnie house in Te Atatu right next to a primary school and I thought we’d be beaten up by protective westie parents
• Roadtripping to Waihi with Shirley, her doing crazy overtaking manouvers and making Trudie scream when I dared her to drive down a bank
• Sung Song association all the way to St. Heliers with Brad in the stereoless Grey Ghost
• the other night in Jeremy’s car, cold from swimming, falling asleep on Clayton’s shoulder

I warned you that i have full stationary cupboard rights – notepads are perfect for lists.

“I think you’re crazy, maybe, I think you’re crazy.”

This page is supposed to look kinda like my sari, but it doesn’t really. I can’t do it justice. It is so so fucking cool. I love it big lots. Even if it is a pain to wear.

Oh, do you know what else I love? Peter! Or um, more specifically, the fact that he gave me the Macy Gray cd.

I got so many cool pressies today, I’m just so completely spoiled, and it’s great. I’ve had such a fully primo day. Yes indeedy. My feet ache like motherfuckers though from dancing.

Shirley’s party was soooo choice, apart from the facthtat I had to keep running off to the bathroom to retie my sari cos layers of it were drooping. Oh the things we do to look so damn good.

I made my speech, and everyone laughed at all the right times, and everyone said ti was really good, so that made me happy. I felt bad cos no one made a speech for Evelyn, but what could I do? I don’t really know her.

Shirley was looking very very good in a tight skirt and bodice. We were all stunned. Sacha had to ask which one was Shirley, because she looked more like Evelyn.

Oh oh, I talked to Bourke! I was so stoked, cos he completely remembered me, although it’s been like two years. We were talking for ages, just instantly clicking again. I could see Maree and Kate M in a corner, and I KNEW they were going “Jo’s SO in” and I just felt bad, because I wasn’t. Sigh. Why do boys have to like boys? Why can’t they just like, snog and stuff for show, but really prefer girls? I think that’s a brilliant idea. I laughed when I saw Shirley talking to Kate M and Maree explaining. But he gladhanded me later, and gave me the sauciest wink. Cock tease!

When I first met Bourke, I thought he was an absolute god – he’s Dutch for gods sakes! So I went to a party with him and Shirley once, and I told Shirley I wanted him, and she was like “go for it, go on! I’m sure he’d be keen”. And of course, he chose that night to come out to her! D’oh! And of course, what made it worse was that she still told him I wanted him, and he was like “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry” and I was like “don’t apologise silly”. And then he was like teasing me going “can you convert me?” and he was all close and stuff, and of course, Shirley was like “OI!” Well, it made for an interesting story, anyways!

I’ve decided that Derek is the closest thing to Robbie Williams I will ever get. Sigh. He’s still very entertaining though, just too short.

What else? Dancing was lots and lots of fun, apart from the slipping sari. Andrew was talking to me, and he goes “your hair looks really cool” and I was like “are you mocking me?” cos Brad and Maree have been hassling me for ages going “your hair is choice” ala Ben, but no, apparently Andy was genuine, and I think I slightly offended him, poor lad. Trudie and Dee gave me a “grow your own crystal” set. I got all these sciency gifts, it’s odd. Cool though.

Maree and I got a taxi home together, and the driver was Indian. We were chatting, and he was like “that’s crazy, what you are wearing” so I was like “pardon? you mean my skirt?” and he was like “yeah, what do you call it?”. I said it was a sari, but I was wearing it like a skirt because I didn’t know the traditional way to wear it, and I just loved the colours. He agreed that they were spectacular, adn when I added that Maree had given it to me, he had to agree.

Fuck this cd rocks. I need new music, all my old stuff is too associated now. Actually, I’m doing pretty well with Travis, cos there’s only like one line in the whole album that makes me think of stuff (“all I wanted is a chance to say I would like to see you in the morning – rolling over just to have you there will make it easy for a little bit longer”), so that’s nifty AND they’re playing here in July, Wahoo!

So yeah, stuff si all good, apart from the fact that I’m up at 2.30am and I’m still not packed. Dammit, i suck. Must… go… to…bed…must…get…up…in…seven..hours

Oh yeah, clayton and brad gave me these:

My boys rock

Bye bye, see youse guys in like 2 weeks or somefink.

Monday 15; Febuary, 1999

Trudie: “Whenever I hear the word ‘stalker’ I think of you, Joanna”

Ten thirty am, the phone rings. I figure it’s either not for me, or it’s Shirley, so I drag my ass outta bed a little while later to check the message. I was right – it WAS Shirley. So I rang her back, and she told me that she and Trudie were meeting up with Dee in Mission Bay at 2pm, and did I want to come along? Of course I did! So she said that Trudie could pick me up on her way in – Trudie’s flatting with Shirley now, you see. So yeah. Since I was already up at that god awful hour, I figured I may as well be domesticated, so I did the dishes, and hung out the (still icky) curtains on the line. Man, it was so foul – something in them turned the water & bleach all yellow, so it looked like they were soaking in piss. How’s that for a nice visual?

So yeah, after doing all that, I went back to bed. But I couldn’t get back to sleep because it was so light outside, and there’s construction happening just up the road. I just laid down for a while instead. Last night, I couldn’t sleep either so I lay in bed and listened to the whole of Little Earthquakes. I wish that I could turn my brain off at night, so that I don’t have a billion and one thoughts racing through my head at all times. I wish I could various stuff in my life straighted out, cos it’s all so weird right now. I wish – well – I wish a lot.

Eventually, after I’d showered and asked Clayton how his night had been (including a “spare me details please”) I heard my cellphone ringing. It was Trudie, asking me where I live – cos she didn’t know, and Shirley hadn’t considered that. So yeah, cellphones are good because Trudie didn’t have my real number, and I think Clayton was on the phone anyways. So yeah, she came over, and just before she got here, Shirley rang to ask us to go BACK to their place to pick her up, but apparently, it was on the way anyways. Off we puttered in Buttercup, Trudie’s bright yellow old Honda Civic. I say putter, because she drove UNDER the speed limit the whole way, which is a concept that’s kind of new to me, given the kind of riffraff I generally hang out with.

Anyways, we met up with Dee eventually, and settled down in a cafe I remember from a year ago while frantically flathunting. Dee, being 20, popped around the corner to the bottle store, and so we had byo bubbly (apparently she got stuff that was like $20 a bottle too) and plates of food to share. And of course, a great big huge long gossip session. Maaaan we all can talk. I was kinda nasty as usual, but they all know I don’t mean it. They talked about CRICKET though, for fucks sake! So yeah. Then we went and got icecream. Then Shirley and Dee got Burger King. Mmmmmm and yet they’re still the tiniest people in the world. I feel like such a freak walking out with them, cos I’m about a foot taller – and that’s hardly an exageration.

So yeah anyways, we swung past Shirley’s so that I could liberate their fudge cake (they’d had too much of it) so in return I gave them half the huge bag of plums that Clayton’s granny had given us. We weren’t going to be able to eat them before they rotted. So yeah.

Make-Out Monday, veging in front of the TV. Clayton cooked dinner, for Layton the Lurker as well who’d shown up. Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh, because he did give me a mouse pad – one that even has wrist support too – Yay. But still, he’s just – I dunno……. weird. I can’t wait till Sisi gets back so there’s someone that I can be completely relaxed around about.

I have to go into town for Orientation tommorrow, and maybe do a little bit of stalking. We’ll see. Arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggg I’ve got such a sugar rush right now, and I’m just going really mental and there’s like, no one online right now to talk to except for Heidi, and much as I love her, she’s not as good to gossip to as Andee. I misssssssssss Andee. Sure, she’s supposed to come and stay this weekend, but I need her NOW, dammit!

Wednesday 10; Febuary, 1999
I couldn’t sleep last night, so i was up till like 4.30am reading “Naked Lunch”. Now, I could sit here and say that I love it, that I can fully understand why it’s considered to be such an important piece of literature, but that’d be lying. Sure, he’s got astonishing descriptions, but a whole ‘novel’s worth is too much. It’s all just short stories and they don’t start and they don’t end and it’s just really bad. Plus, it’s completely nasty, and really scary. So if you have a differing opinion on it, that’s fine. I’m still going to finish it, because I could never put down a book, no matter how bad it was.

I still woke up pretty early though – well, around 11am, because I had calls to make. It’s my mummy’s birthday today, so I wanted to say hi, but she was out so I left a croaky message on her answerphone that sounded like shit instead. I know it sounded bad because I checked her voicemail later. That’s Fun with Phones 101.

I also called Dee, who wasn’t there (which is NOT fun with phones). So I did other stuff instead, tidy and clean a little and stuff like that. I also washed my hair, but it turned out absolutely lousy. Like, I wash my hair every day (if I’m going to be seen in public anyways) because it tends to go quite greasy at the roots, while the ends are too dry. Anyways, it normally looks fine, good, great after I wash it, but today it was fucking shocking. Like, so greasy as if I hadn’t washed it in a week. Honestly, it was that tragic. Oh god, how vain do I sound? It was so icky and greasy. I’m just going to blame the humidity. The fact that there’s no healthy food in the house apart from plums has nothing to do with it, really.

I was going to go to the supermarket, and then i realised that HEY! Clayton’s going to be coming back tomorrow, so why should I spend MY money on food that he’ll eat? I already paid for all the electricity. That sounds petty, but it’s not really. I’ve just become accustomed to living alone.

Anyways, so I was just sitting around, when all of a sudden my cellphone bleeped at me. I picked it up, and was astonished to see a text message scrolling across my screen – something like “stalkstalkstalk hey Jo was just seeing if you were getting showered upon*shags* your #1 stalker”. That completely confused the fuck out of me. I really didn’t know who would have the know-how to send me messages like that. I knew Matt was supposed to be calling me maybe to see if I wanted to go into town, so I rang his cellphone, but when he didn’t answer, I figured it couldn’t have been him, so I rang my momma instead. (More Fun)

She was home this time, so we had a chat. She’d recieved and appreciated my pressie, especially Anji’s breasts (see earlier entry for details). So we nattered away for a while, running up my flat’s phonebill, but I guess I’ll be paying THAT as well as everything else too, goddam it. While I was sitting there catching up on Welly gossip (apparently, they think they can fix my desk chair – YAY says my back) my cellphone rang, so I answered it and it disconnected. Bizzare. However, the great thing about my beautiful Phillips Diga is Caller ID which means TREMENDOUS fun with phones. So once I got off the phone with Momma, I set out to discover who it was that was stalking me.

I rang back the number, and got the Auckland University Students Association Office answering machine. Well, I know I don’t know anyone there, unless I’ve all of a sudden been elected president of a school I don’t even go to, so I had to use my amazing powers of deduction, and figured out that atmos.net was having meetings there today. So I rang Matt back on his cellphone and yelled at him “ARE YOU STALKING ME?”. Hahahahahaha turns out he wasn’t. Still, it was fun to accuse. Roll on the next suspect.

Dee rang me, and came over a little while later. She loved my house, which made me feel warm fuzzies, cos I love it too. It’s so MINE, which is the best thing about it. Like, I can see myself living here for years (sure, and now I’ve said that I’ll probably be forced to move out or something). I guess that’s the good thing about being here alone all the time is that it really gives me a chance to bond with the house. I can’t believe I was so scared that I cried the first night I was here. I guess that’s mostly because there was no power that night, and I was expecting a thousand dodgy people to come a-thumping, when only one of them did really. But moving right along. So yeah, Dee and I gossiped, and caught up and choice stuff like that. She’s always really busy cos she works at Orbit, the resturant at the top of the Sky Tower, but I’ll see more of her once tech starts – especially since we live so close now.

Once she’d gone, I went online to geek a little bit. I was very keen to find out who my stalker was, so I was telling everyone #left right and centre about it. I was talking to Kini (who, incidently, wrote in her journal that she never used to like my journal but now she does, because apparently my writing style has changed – your thoughts on this please) and she was like “did you like my message?”. I thought she was referring to the 8 ICQ messages she’d sent me when I was but NO! Turns out SHE was behind my textmessage on my cellphone. I told Simon about it, and he was like “but doesn’t that cost heaps, to call from Australia?” I was like “well I guess she just thinks I’m worth it then!”. Of course, it turns out that it’s actually free and reaaaaaally easy to do. I’m not going to tell y’all here how, although I may well some other day, when I decide I want more random stalkers, but I posted it to the Vision list. Kini just knows her shit, bro!

I was watching “The Craft” tonight (God, why did I miss John Hannah for that piece of shit?) when I got another textmessage pagey thing. Awwww I so wish I COULD come to your flatwarming, Jo! It was so cool to hear from you!

Now I feel like the sister in ‘Leave Before You Go” doing her sneaky tshirt thing except she made her bit up, and I didn’t. Go read the book if you don’t understand. It’s by Emily Perkins and it rocks.

Um that’s about it, eh. I’m paging people like mad now. Gimme your cellphone numbers if you’re on Vodaphone:

Name:

Number:

And I’ve only just clicked to the “showers” bit now. hahahahahaha.

Monday 8; Febuary, 1999

this came from Engine. Sorry if I’ve broken any copyrights

I scanned this in today for someone and I figured that you might enjoy it too. I mis Frankman, and I miss Engine too.
I finally talked to Dee this morning. Sheesh, I haven’t seen her in like, years. She rang me while I was lying in my new big bed, feeling kind of like I was on honeymoon only I was wearing scummy pj bottoms and an ugly tshirt instead of my authentic 1970s orange and yellow honeymoon neglige or my 1960s Barbarella slip.

There are some tasty visuals for you, huh? Anyways, she was just as enthralled as me to learn that her best friend from early High School, Theresa is none other than the Theresa of Kate’s friend fame who has been responsible for a great deal of damage to my body these past weeks. So yeah.

Kate came over today, and told me I was going to her place on Saturday for drinks before the Hero Parade. I told her I don’t like parades. She was like “but it’s the HERO Parade”. I don’t care if it’s the Hero Parade. That’s no different in my mindset than a Santa Parade, a Saint Patrick’s Day Parade, or that really really stupid thing they had back in ’95 when everyone wore red socks and threw paper in the street because of some boat winning some expensive race and I was the only person left in my English class because everyone else wagged to go and see it but I was protesting. Anyways, Kate doesn’t take no for an answer ever. Someone remind me please to take along RED wine with me so that I don’t have repeat inncidents of last time’s capers. Choice.

Speaking of stalkers – not that I was, but hey, my rinky dinky counter told me this morning that I’d been linked to from a journal entry on Olivia’s page. Who is Olivia? Well, I was asking myself that same question when I got an authorization request from her on ICQ. So yeah, I had a chat to her, and she was really cool. She said that she’s been seriously thinking of ringing me up on my cellphone, which made me giggle heaps. Can you imagine that, being rung by someone you don’t even know while you’re out in public and are showing off anyway? Well, I got good visuals of it, anyways.

What else? Oh yeah, Kate helped me dis-assemble my single bed (“if you were a green metal bedframe, you’d want to be hit with a hammer too” as I said to her when she complained about the noise) and so this evening I rearranged the lounge to acomodate it

Clayton: “I’m jealous because both you and Simon have beds with wrought iron headboards”

Me: “Well soon, anytime you feel like playing ‘tie-me-up’ games, you can just do it on the single in the lounge”

Of course, that conversation didn’t take place today, because he’s in the Coramandel. That’s actually kinda lucky, all things considered, because I got a tape in the mail today from Andee. It’s got awesome stuff like 5ive and Billie on it. I was singing and dancing like there was no tomorrow.

And if there is no tomorrow, you’ll need the following websites to amuse yourself with:

www.myboot.com | www.jailbabies.com – I reccomend Felicia

thanks to kini for the urls and for stalking me so well