Hubris.co.nz

Wednesday August 7th

Please don’t consider this to be a full picture in any way, if you want to know what’s really going on in my life, you WILL have to write me. Or call me (Mazzy, what the fuck? I was talking about three different boys, not the one, and if you were up with the play, you’d know that).

Last night me and Jezza and Morrison and Nigel went to the AUT pub quiz and spent my $20 tab and won a $30 tab. We also bought the quizmaster a drink cos he was cool, and also, if he’s stalked me off my cellphone picture, HI. And we will win the $50 tab next week. And then we went to Oporto and I got groped by a horrible skanky horrible disgusting icky old man. ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

This morning Bo and I went to St. Lukes to pick up a shirt for me, although we were both shuddering at the Mallness of it, and then we went to Roasted Adiquition for breakfast. OH MY GOD their hashbrown stack with turkish pide, aioli, advamacado and pesto is delicious! Oh yeah, but before that, I was jolted outta sleep by Haley calling me to ask which apartment was mine adn I was like “FUCK! I’ll just put on some clothes and come and find you” and we finished our presentation which FUCK FUCK FUCK I gotta do now. No wait, I’ll do it tomorrow morning. Cool. SHIT. Fuck. I can’t believe I forgot about that completely. And about turnign in my CV for the job which I’m really starting to doubt that I’m going to get. FUCK. Nah it’s cool, this way I can fit in seeing my HR tutor tomorrow to talk to her about my hypothesis about Sick Building Syndrome (moral of the story is – go to your tutorials and you won’t be stuck with the lameass topics no on eelse wants). Where was I? Work at 12.30pm, yeah, and longmeetings about Courses and Careers Day, and then I spent the afternoon looking up catering websites.

Anyways so this evening, I left the house with $50, and now I have come home with 2 expensive cocktails, one flavoured vodka shot, one bottle of red wine, one kebab and two taxi rides in my belly and empty pockets, so I guess I did okay, mostly coasting on the charms’o lovely KateH. Lovely Popular KateH who even manages to know people in common with the random “hi ladies – do you mind if I introduce myself?” guy at Deschlers. We drank at the Classic, and then didn’t go to Starks cos we’re still banned, and then Deschlers for ages of course so American Friend Amy could drink Chocolate Monkeys, and then Kate and I had a boogie at Retro Night while Amy slept in the corner and now I’m home, dropping my kebab on my breasts cos I wisely took my shirt off. I can’t feel the cold. ALSO! I had to leave Buffy with like, 15 minutes still to go, how rude! AND I idnt’ even get laid out of it – previously, only boys taking me to the bedroom have managed to lure me away from that programme, adn that was under duress (yes, and one of you knows who you are, with that whole leaving your laptop behind ploy, and as for the other one, well I’d be suprised if he could even write his name, frankly. But we’re way off track. My point was, I think I missed Buffy and Spike having sex, and that’s a momentuous occasion!). But still, I had a great night, especially dancing at the end, and so Katie and I decided that our cheap ethnic food and wine BYO nights will now take place on Wednesdays so we can go dancing after. Kickass

Sunday the 14th of July, two thousand and two

I had a really random day yesterday, it was strange, but ended well, so all’s well that ends well, really. I have now managed to shake my bad mood, thanks probably entirely to the divine Ms. Hamlin (KATEH! heh). So yeah, day yesterday:

In the afternoon, after doing not much in the morning, I popped around to see KateM on my way to the supermarket, and made her get up. How cruel of me – it was only 3.45pm after all! And then I went to the supermarket, and found that Grower’s World has shut down or something, and it was all abandoned and I couldn’t get veges. Then there was a busker outside’o Foodtown playing a very bad rendition of “Lover, you should have come over” which made me remember a girl who mostly doesn’t remember me now, but it still made me smile. And then I laughed on the inside at the enchilladas in the deli case, until I worried that maybe people were giving me strange looks. It was so hot in the supermarket that I started spacing out, and I felt all funny, so as soon as I got home I shut myself up in my room so that I wouldn’t have to talk to Clayton. But later, I was out in the lounge, getting ready to watch The Goonies, and he came along and gave me big hugs and said I was a great person for putting away the dishes, and that he’d been feeling Meh too, so it was a nice bonding moment. I flicked through our flat bible, where random people write random things, and discovered that KateB generally writes “Snapshot Memories” in it the day after I’ve scored, so there were some interesting regressions. But I guess it makes sense, cos we’d be hungover and lying around unable to move, swapping stories, and that’s when she’s most likely to write. Anyways. At the back’o the Bible, there was a list of Dorks begun in early 2000, and also a list of people we give props to. The dorks included people like Dawson, and Brad’s old boss, and the girl who’d been grumpy in Global Sandwich, and the list of people we gave props to were generally flavour’o the moment celebrities, but also included on the list was Jason, which made me laugh cos obviously I’d had a crush on him when I first met him way back then. And if you know anything about the inner workings of our social circle, you’d find it funny too (Hi Jason, if you’re still reading).

Anyways, so yeah, like I said, weird things were amusing me, despite an overall feeling of Meh. I got to watch the Goonies though, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never stop loving Corey Feldman. Is it wrong to fancy a 14 year old boy? I’ve managed to outgrow finding Eddie Furlong in T2 attractive, but Corey is my forever. Then I was going to watch The Skulls, but luckily KateH rang and said that her plans had changed and did I feel like going out? Hmmmm… let’s see. So needless to say that I met up with her 20 minutes later. I wore a tiara out, because I am after all a princess, and I haven’t worn my tiara in a very long time. I met her at Caravan Serai where she was having dinner with her Disney friends, who are also in my class at school. They used the word “random” an awful lot, which was random to me since I was having a random day, and and and. Oh you get the picture. They went off to Globe, but Katie told me that i’d hate it, so we went to Deschlers instead, where we drank devine cocktails. Brad joined us a couple of hours later, which was very cool. I was talking about my pants, and he said they looked good on me, and just as I was about to go “aww thanks” he said “they’d look better on my floor in Whakatane” which I’d actually scripted for him in emails discussing me going down to visit him. Ha HA Hilarious. We bumped in Jason and Hamish which made me giggle quietly on the inside as well, cos’o the whole bible thing, and cos Hamish asked me if I was still hanging out at his old flat. And I got to meet Luke Casey and shake his hand! That was pretty exciting. Then Brad dropped me home and I found myself watching an Adam Sandler movie and actually laughing lots and lots, so maybe I was drunker than I thought. It was a really good night though, and it very much lifted my spirits.

Today I got up before noon to make sure I was clean and dressed by the time Maree and Brad showed up to see my rug. I gave Mazzy a copy of the last ever edition of the Evening Post, and also a first edition of the Dominion Post, and we went for ‘brunch’ at Box House. We sat outside cos it was sunny, but four hours later, my legs are still numb from the cold. Good food though. And then we went to Hamlin’s for Dawson’s, which was really boring. Yeah. Now I’m home, and I might find a duvet and watch The Breakfast Club, if our TV decides to be in colour, otherwise I will take Haruki Murakami to bed with me and be disappointed 20 times over cos I never like his endings and this is a book of short stories.

Also, i just noticed that my last webcam photo is of me with my mouth really really wide open cos I was belting out the dirty words in ‘Stagger Lee’ last night. Lovely.

Friday June 21st

It’s 3.27am (okay, so it’s Saturday) and I’ve just got home. I’ve had a kickass night! It began with Bopha and Leo and Laurence and Brazil/England (YAY! Brazil won!) and now it ended with Brad dropping me off after begging the bartender at Deschlers to make me Honeycomb cocktails (he looked it up in his rolodex). It was a good night. Becky was really cool. We won the soccer, did I say that already? Bridget sent me home from work early; apparentky I don’t have to make up hours I take off sick (that’s DANGEROUS knowledge) so yeah, I decorated Emma’s cake real pretty. The boys came over later – fuck, Laurence is the hell breaker, I am so impressed. He’s like 6’2 so at some stages he was hitting the lampshade with his leg swing arounds – wow. Can I just say wow again? Bops is all good at it too, I wish I knew how. And also, Brazil won, yay. I was like, so on the verge sometimes. Exciting. And then Brad and Becky came over and took me to Lumiere and The Supper Club and 76 and Oporto and Deschlers and now I’m home, and dude, aren’t you coming over now? xojo

Friday June 7th

Morning is a mad dash to the supermarket with Bopha to get there and back in time for me to get changed and go to work,and I end up being ten minutes late, but it’s not like they’re really keeping time anyways, or so it seems. There’s a lamington waiting on my desk when I get there, sprinkled with baby m&ms and with a chopstick stuck in it, and as soon as I walk in, Skew and Terri are like “Happy birthday” and I’m like “thanks, who’s birthday is it?” and they’re like “yours” and I’m like “no” but it was really sweet anywyas, and apparently we’re gonna have a drinkathon on my birthday. That kicks ass! I can’t imagine any other workplace doing that. Oh yeah, at Foodstuffs, they laid on morning tea – biscuits and buttered muffins when they all knew I was vegan. Choice. But anyways, work is fun, and at three pm, Terri and I go for a 10 minute walk to the graphic designer’s office (the people I work for have buildings ALL OVER town – we 0wn Auckland) and that was fun too. She’s choice, I like her, and I will miss her when she is gone. Also she said today to someone else that I’m being groomed for her role, so that could be interesting.

Afternoon/evening is meant to be going down to Deschlers to meet up with the lovely Annabel but Bopa made me smoke a spliff with her so I couldn’t actually leave the house, so instead Annabel and later Arch came here. They were cool, and I invited them to my birthday party and she was like “oooh maybe the HJT could play” and I was like !!!! and then I giggled lots cos I have silly rock star crushes. Fuck, was I supposed to be writing present tense? I think it’s like, 5am or something, so fuck you and your grammar rules. Anyways, so there’s martinis martinis martinis and Bopha’s friends are over and they’re loud and shit so I go to my room, and KateM comes over and we drink and gossip and giggle, as girls do, for ages and ages and ages. Eventually we go down to Deschlers where we find Andy all by himself so we chat to him for quillions of years before Nigel & Jarrod show up. Razza is behind the bar, so that’s flashback to auldskool days, and the thousands of hours and cocktails and thighgropings consumed at Deschlers. Eventually we manage to grab ourselves a booth, and KateM holds me down and covers my mouth so I can’t scream when they get Andy to start smoking. And then there’s text messages and cellphone calls, and suddenly, I have Other Things To Do, with lots and lots of capital letters and a fair amount of injokeness, and I’m trekking up to K’Road by myself and by golly it’s cold. But it’s okay, because it’s wonderful and lovely, and yeah, but now I’m home again, cos you know what I’m like. But cool.

After that lame friday night, my weekend has actually kicked a lot of ass. Well, kinda anyways. Friday night I couldn’t sleep at all; I was still awake at 7am, but it still freaked me out completely when I woke up at 5.15pm. I mean, it was like the sleep of the dead – normally I’d wake up a couple of times and just be too lazy to get up, but this was deep sleep all the way, to the point where I actually had terrifying nightmares right before I woke up. Ultra freaky. But anyways. Once I had suitably recovered, I set up making plans for myself, and eventually I had Maree pinned down to go out.

She showed up looking fucking hot, and proceeded to drink Ben’s vodka leaving him rude notes in the freezer (“I drank your vodka – tell someone who cares; Maree”). We drank and talked and laughed. I gave her a wrist massage which made her make funny O faces, and I did her eyeshadow over twice, and eventually we set out to town. Because she was so very sexy (which was all her boots, and not her at all, really) we got honked at a lot walking to K’Road, which started getting just a little ridiculous. When a car honked as we were crossing Pitt Street, I spun around ready to give them a piece of my mind. Of course, it was Justin driving to his mid-dawn shift, so I didn’t get to yell abuse after all.

We had a couple’o drinks at The Supper Club, but it was really empty, so we went to Lumiere, which was swish and stylish, but only one drink long. ANd then we went to 76, which was also pretty empty – so empty that we even managed to get a booth. The booths there are fucking HUGE – like if the booths in Deschlers are big enough for a frolic, the ones at 76 are big enough for an orgy. But by then Maz was hungry, so we walked all the way down the hill to Oporto. Crossing Queen St to Deschlers, some crazy taxi honked and yelled at us and we were like “grrrrrrrr” until my cellphone rang and it was KateH saying it’d been her in the taxi. Then we went up to Deschlers where we drank orgasmic cocktails called Honeycombs. After that, we were both quite quite drunk and more than a little tired, so we staggered up the hill to see Justin at his mid-dawn. Up in the studio they have really high spinny aroundy chairs and I had so much trouble trying to get mine to stay still for long enough for me to get on it. Another friend of Justin’s also came up who claimed he’d met me a couple of times before, so I was like “umm ok”. I hate people who remember me when I never remember them. Eventually I had to stagger home and I think i fell asleep pretty quickly.

See, the way I wrote all that up, it sounds very dry and not that entertaining, but really, it was one of the best nights i’ve had in aaaaages and ages, and yeah, it just kicked a lot of ass. Cool.

Today I was jolted out of sleep by KateM calling my cellie to see if I wanted to go to the beach. I was dazed and vague and couldn’t figure out if I was hungover or not, but half an hour later, after I’d lazed around for a while, I called her back and said that yes I did. I even shaved my legs. When I got to her house, she was sitting on the couch on the front porch, lazing around listening to Lazy Sunday and it was just so mellow that we stayed there for ages and ages, hanging out and chilling. It was lovely. Then we both got cravings for Ice Cream Sundaes, so we drove out to Royal Oak and went to Ollies. I don’t think they’ve changed the decor in there since it was built in the sixties. It made me wanna do rock’n roll dancing, ala that place they always go to in Happy Days. Yeah. And then cos it was a sleepy lazy kinda day, and cos they had it, we watched The Princess Diaries. Scott cooked dinner and then I went home. Cool. It too was a really excellent time, it’s just so nice spending quality time with my bestest friends, gossiping and talking and just hanging out.

And I think saturn5 is down right now, cos neither hubris nor swinney will load, so I might go watch tv or read Less Than Zero again. I read it once when I was 14 I think, and all that stuck in my head about it was that they watched snuff movies, but then I saw it at KateM’s, and asked if I could borrow it, and she was like “it’s an awful depressing book and I don’t want it in my house anymore” so I took it. I think it’s Brad’s. But he’s in Whakatane, so how can he stop me?

(Picking up the narrative about Saturday night from yesterday)
It was also nice that it was good wholesome alcohol free fun too, for a change. Not that it’d last though…..

Half the crew disappeared off to town, taking Andy with them, but me Clay Brad and Kate M weren’t sure if we wanted to go, so we decided to meet up at the Dog, cos Kate B was supposed to be working. Brad got in Kate M’s car, and I took Clay and Pete. Half way home, Clay called Kara @Garland, and there was a little domestic or something, so I had to take him home. We tried to call Brad or Kate M to let them know, and to see if they’d follow us to Garland so we could leave my car and all go with Kate M to Ponsonby. But noooo, of course neither of them had their cellies with them, so it turned into a mad game of chase, with me yelling at them although they couldn’t hear me, because the boys didn’t roll down their windows. You know how you’re not supposed to drive drunk (and I don’t)? Well, I think you shouldn’t be allowed to drive on that much sugar either. It was lots and lots and lots of fun though! We finally managed to make them follow us and not take the Newton off-ramp, but then just as they rolled down their windows to hear us yell we were going to Garland, they were on the Grafton offramp and we were on Manukau/Hamilton. People with cellularmaphones that don’t turn them on are dumb!

But anyways, we got home and I changed my shoes and Brad rang us from Kate M’s. Pete and I decided to drive to her dad’s house and leave my car there, and walk to the Dog. So that’s just what we did, stopping for Red Bull. By the time we got to her house, Kate M had fallen asleep, so only Brad came out with us. By the time we got to the Dog, it was past 1am, and the place was closed. We could see Kate sitting with the staff at the bar, but they pretended they didn’t see us banging on the windows. So we had to move on, and found ourselves at Grand Central. The front bit was full of Old Slappers dancing to dumb music, but we managed to snag ourselves a room all to ourselves; sofas around a fireplace with a chandelier above – a super cosy living room. We had a bottle of wine and texted Hayley, to find out that everyone was at Deschlers. Bottle finished, and we set out to walk to Deschlers.

It’s a long walk from Ponsonby to town! Well, maybe not THAT long, but 20 minutes or so, which is long when it’s cold and you’re already tired from dancing and haven’t drunk that much. But I shouldn’t whine, cos it was actually kinda fun. At Deschlers, everyone was already squozen (see, that word sounds so good when you say it, but you can’t write it down) into booths so we pulled up seats at the counter and had more drinks….

Bah, I’m bored of telling that story already. Maybe I’ll finish it tomorrow. Or maybe not. I got my hair cut today, and it looks cool. Since I got it done somewhere I’d had it done before, they had a file on me, and I saw that the last time I had a haircut there it was April 5th, so I looked back in my journal to see what my trauma’o the day then was. I only ever get haircuts when I’m excited or when I’m sad. Oh, I had a haircut in Melbourne actually, but that was in the kitchen of Anji’s flat, and it was done by her friend Ang. Incidently, you know the Libra ad for Charlies Angels that’s in a bright pink hair salon? That’s where Anji’s old flatmate works. He wanted me to get a mullet, because apparently they’re back, but I resisted. But that was all a tangent, because the woman today just cut my hair how I wanted it, whilst going on about how tall I was. However, I forgive her for that because she gave my head a massage while washing my hair, and I just about purred. I’ve decided I don’t want a boyfriend anymore – I want a hairdresser. Does it make them whores that I pay them money for the physical pleasure they give me?

Kate B came home at lunchtime today and said “oh you’re having a champange lunch” and me and Shirley and Jeremy said “yes”, and I waited for her to ask why, but she didn’t. That amused me.

Tonight Maree lured us around by making us cookies and promising to rent us a video – a NEW RELEASE even. We watched “Drop Dead Gorgeous” which was very very funny, but went on a little too long. She woke me up AGAIN at 7am this morning when she came in wearing her pajamas. I begged her not to do that last night and all! I should really go lock the dead bolt, but I need her to wake me up tomorrow morning. We’re going to have coffee before she goes to be a Teacher’s Helper at her kid’s school, and I go off to work.

Oh yes, I got a job. WAHOO! I’m not actually starting tomorrow, because by law I need 7 days to review my contract, but I am going in tomorrow to meet the staff, and to get my contract and get some background readings. I’m so stoked that I didn’t even need to interview for the job, because I met the big boss at the Expo and he was more than happy for me to come work for them, and I’d already been recomended for the position. So, a week after tech finally ended, I already have a full time job. It’s only contracted til February, but still, it’s experiance… and money. Yay! I’m very very nervous though.

“am I famous for just one thing?”

We;re in some bar douwn int he viaduct and there’s me making oi5rgasm noises not that I’d really know what ythey were because Briamn Molko is on the buig screen they were playing KJuice tv and oh my god how much do my panties melt at the site of him? Change your taste in men.

Boy I met last nightwas very very hot and then he said those goddam magic words “back when I was depressed” and I was like noooo I want so meone different. But hge aws still sexy, I imagine I will go stalk marbecks now. Thast qwas at dinner last night some thai place the Green Elephant w e went there for our big night out i remembre. But today is today and not then becuase yeah then was all differenyt and my toenail wasn’t broken then, and goddam I miss being in love but hey yeah ajnyways, stuff is fine this way I think and was I too obvious? I think not.

Ohb my god bbay it’s 3am i must be lonely oh fuck off maqtchbox 20, I am so un eloquent really but you are stil l reading me anyways. Clayton’s 212st was tonight,. I had soooo much fin. fuin. fun. IO was all grumpy and shit before hand. Ckay took my car. XClay took my stereo. I got basil garlic aioli all over my thai silk skiryt opn the way in and setting up. But I k nkiocked back a qwhole shitload of red whine. I HATE cklay’s relies. What a pack of bossy big dorks. wER HAD everythingm all set up and shit at the movie theatre he’d hired and they came and moved it all around. No wonder he’s so fucking pussywhipped, it’s not my fault that I boss him around.

there was a disco ball and that was fun. I slaved all day making mushroom pies and quiches. No hesitation no delay you come omn just like special k. Just like I swallowed half my stash. Lots to drink. Stuff was cool. I hadn’t seen maree in so long. Or shirley neither. Kate Benton told me I was having a good tit day. Clayton agreed. It’s so this tshirt. I love my stativc shirt,. I like my trits too. Tits, not trits. Oh god, I’m hideous, I should just og to bed but like, I’m niot sleepy. so ui will ramble, and you will read it. Suckers. you’re all pussy whipped too. Okay and Kate came into my room this morning ior was it yesterady, and said I smelt all nice like sleep. What’s up witht that? Where the fuck am I? this is SUCH a bad narrative.

Okay yueah, so I was all grumpyu this afternoon, especially when kate rang me at 6pm wanting rescuingb and I had to hgo pick her up even whenb we were supposed to be leaving at 6.15. And then in the process of getting to the theatre, the garlic basil dip got all over my skirt and oh my god was I giving everyone evil looks over that fuck I’m cold.

Talk about guilty conscience, although technically I didn’t do anything wrong. IUnless you count pyutting a shaker in my bag, but I don’t count that. UIt was from thej viaduct after all. At the back of the theaterette were a row of couches, and clay reserved those for us flatties and our signigicicant others (ie Morrison and Kara). I was sharing a couch with kate and a bottle of red whine. When I was in the bathroom, maree was talking tol me althouhgj U dunno how she knew it was me, so she came up and sat with us. But then I went and was throwing aup and I think she disappearefd. Human Traffic was the movie – it looked amusing except the chick looked like Tamsin gfrom Shortkland Street whicjh was just disturbing.

And then somehow Iwas at deschlers how did that happen? I don’t remember, butthere was live drum and base and simon w as dancing and ti was very amusing and stuff an do h my god was I really oh dear I worry me sometimes, and I talked to clayt’s frienmd Adrian who’s noce buit shy and also clay’s friemnd lucy who is a drunken slapper and his “friends’ romy and emily were there – nice look black bra dna white singlet fucking drunken sluts and they even called themselves that.

descblers became some walk downtownh after some big housekey scandel and i guess kate b let justin in after all unless he cli,mbed in our window whicjh would be easyt . some place downtown, was it providence? some name like that. $20 shakers, clay stole 4 shot glasses, I goty the shaker unbeknown to either one of us where hase si gone?: kate m dreove yus home. Providence had juice pla7ying on the big screen, but a different soundtrack. And yeah, we came home, and I was being tacky. Kate M was like “you’re on fire, we could ask you anything now and you’d amswer right? ” but the thing is I would anyways. Brad’s on lunch tomorrow, I hope it’s good.

I feel like a skanky slapper right now Only I am so muchb etter dressed. And my hair is better. As the flat would tease me, my hair is choice. a dn my nipples are amazing. etc etc. QWhy is it htat I let myslef be hassled so mch? I qwill keep my mouth shut in the fututre. Unless of course, I am having littl e black babies. That’s the rule kate m set for me.