Hi. I’m in the Coramandel. It’s all very weird and doesn’t seem real at all. Me and Kate and Kini (!) had been sitting around eating waffles this morning and I was complaining that Kini was going away in a couple’o hours, and so Kate was like “Why don’t you go too?” And so here I am.

It was so strange yesterday, opening the front door to find Kini standing there, smiling at me. I started crying, I was so happy. She’s got astonishing abilities to suprise me, and she means so much to me, it was amazing. She’s like my rock, and to have her turn up on a day when I was really low – wow. Then I thought we’d only get to hang out one night, but now I’ve come to the coramandel too, we hang out more, yay.

This aparment is so light and airy, it feels soothing, just like Kini’s house. So I’m back in self therapy again? Nah, not that extreme, but it’s so nice to get away from the city. The drive to the Coramandel was lovely – hills covered in ferns, winding roads that weren’t TOO winding, and lovely sunshine. Life is good. This place Kini’s booked into is amazing as well – a two bedroom apartment, all new and clean with TV, vide, stereo and all for only $80 a night. I can see myself coming back here again. It overlooks the inlet, all boats bobbing around and still water. There’s a rest home across the street, and – a little morbidly – a graveyard just up the road, opposite the rest home. ” This is what you have to look forward to….”

I looked around the graveyard, and it was mostly very old graves from the late 1800s and early 1900s. It was so chilling, although it was bright sunlight and just off the main road – I half expected creatures to leap up through the earth and grab me, but I wasn’t afraid of them. I think I watch too much Buffy. One of the oldest gravestones underneath this huge tree had red roses scattered all over it, which on closer inspection seemed to be plastic. Wow, maybe even Tairua has a Goth Community.

I walked down on the beach, sand spongy beneath me. I paddled in the shallow warm water, jeans cuffed and rolled up. I picked lemons from the tree overhanging the driveway, and made lemonade. this feels wholesome. This feels good. So did the crisp blue and white striped single bed.

I feel a little bad for skipping town the day before our Dinner, but Maree can text me if she needs me. I’ll drive back early tomorrow – it’s less than two hours drive, and go do all the things I need to do at tech – like classes. After the dinner, I’ll knuckle down – honest! But for tonight I’m relaxing, and spending time with one of my bestest friends. So there.

If you could see me right now, you’d see that I was grinning like a fucking idiot, and grinning away like anything. However, I keep my curtains shut just because of people like you, so HAH, you CAN’T see me. Genius.

My day was very very shitty initially – I spent 2 and a half hours at tech desperately trying to reach sales of 70 tickets, majorly stressing out and getting bored out of my tree waiting for people to come to me. By the time I left we’d only sold 62 tickets, and I was very very grrrrrrrrr, and feeling like a pathetic failure and all that, even with the last minute sales bringing it up to 65-66. I was just completely sick and tired of the whole dinner plan, and wanted to forget all about it and I didn’t even want to go anymore. However, I went to drop off the deposit to the DJ man, and he was lovely, so that made me feel better. A couple’o calls later, Maree was confirming our booking for 68 people. So that was cool. I had to go out to the supermarket then, to get dinner foods, and also to go and get a new phonecord, because our extension one was dead, and unless it was replaced, there’d be no Internet for me. Grr, so much for not spending money! But then, I came home, and was sitting at my computer, when there was a knock at the door. I went and opened it, and there was Kini, so I was like “oh Hi”.

And that’s when I realised that hey – there’s this girl I love to pieces from Australia who was supposed to be in Tonga standing on my doorstep, so I started screaming and squealing and laughing and crying and everything, and I was just a little overwhelmed. Wow. Yay! Wow! Yay! She’s only staying a night, but WOW! Hehehehe. She said she’d been planning on suprising me for a loooooong time – at first she was supposed to come over to NZ for my birthday, but then her shit got fucked up and my shit got fucked up, and I ended up running away to Australia to recover anyways. Still, she’d been planning this since like August, and I’m astonished that Leigh and Oh and Thomas and Justin never let on. What bastards! And also, YAY, because wow, I was so so suprised, and it just fully made my day. week. month. year. Basically, I’m so stoked to see her I’m almost about to start blubbering again just to write about it. I’m trajic, yes, but she’s very very special.

Anyways, Clay and Brad were very excited to see her too. So much so that Brad stood up Justin to come out to dinner with us at the Dog. That was lots of fun. We made up stories about everyone in the restaurant. Clay tried to convince us that the guy a table over was giving him the eye, and he said that if he got up to go to the bathroom, the guy would follow him. Naturally, we made Clay get up to test the theory – and coincidently, the woman at the other table followed him up, but not the guy. Clay was pretty upset that his gay bathroom experiance wasn’t a happening thing – he said “I feel bummed” and Brad and I just about wet ourselves laughing at his Freudian slip. Johnno was working, and he immediately apologised for not doing our dishes, and so i said he could cook us dinner instead, and he said “that’s fair enough”. He really is a nice lad – unless he’s just working extra specially hard to impress us all. Or both.

Back at home, I showed Kini a video of various happenings at our flat including me kicking out Leyton, Dancing Simon at Clay’s 20th birthday, Brad doing the Spice Dance, and our Survivor Party because she refused to watch Spiceworld with me (what a sick bitch). Then we did lots of crosswords with Kate B which was actually far more entertaining than it really sounds. She convinced me to take Kini to the Zoo tomorrow with a very very enthusiastic list of all the animals we’ll see there. I was impressed, even if there were no bears. Tomorrow also, I’m wagging tech AND ticket selling last minute duties – maybe I should let Maree know – because I wanna spend time with Kini before she drives off to the Coramandel (go figure). We’re going to have waffles and Cherry Ripe ice cream for breakfast, sensational.

YAY! See, I’m just so so so yay. Good England, really. I don’t know if I’ll sleep tonight, although I’m very tired – I’ll probably be smiling too much. I’m such a sap, it’s terrific. Actually, I’m kinda annoyed though, because my day’d been so crap, so I figured I’d come home and have a huge big cry, which I’ve been building up to for ages. I haven’t had a major crying session in months and months, and I think sometimes it’s good to clean out the system, but now I’m so happy I can’t do it, dammit. And if you think I’m psycho for wanting to be unhappy, you’re taking me too seriously, but hey, that’s your damage, not mine.

I heart Kini lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. I’m not going to let her leave. Not ever. No no. She can stay here with me forever.

“I have a cock in my mouth!” – Popular Kate

I’ve been feeling really weird lately, like for the past couple’o weeks even, but I’m smiling lots right now cos I just got email from the Long Lost Hulita. Coupled with Penny ringing me the other day, and talking to Andee a while ago, now I just have to hope that Beth gets herself to a computer sometime and emails me from the states. I keep writing a list in my head of all the people that I’ve lost touch with that I want contact with again, and I keep meaning to put it online, but I never get around to it, so just briefly, if anyone knows Brittany Tobiason, last heard from in Olympia, Washington State, I’d love contact details.

I can’t really explain the weird feeling I’ve had lately – it’s kinda like loneliness, except that I’m constantly surrounded by the people I care about, so that doesn’t really make sense. I dreamt that I moved to Dunedin because I’m too comfortable here, and maybe that’s it – maybe I am too comfortable. I’ve been reading old diaries, from sixth and seventh form, and I think this kind of restlessness is something I have annually, especially when there’s tumultouous times ahead, like oh you know, the end of three years at AUT and being plunged into the job market. I’m kinda pretending like that’s not happening, and so I think I’m covering stress by being too complacent. Actually, I don’t know, I’m just talking out of a hole in my ass. I’m just really jealous of Kate B right now (so what else is new) and all of my other friends as well because I’m craving real intimacy. And a trophy. After seeing Kate’s mum all nervous before she met Johnno’s parents, I want a boy so that my parents can get nervous about meeting his parents. Heh, I’m such an awful person.

I’ve been listening to PJ Harvey’s new album “Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea” a lot today. It’s very good – different from “Is this Desire? Yes!” I find myself singing along to it very loudly. The shower’s great for singing in – when my flatmates are out, that is, because I sing VERY loud, and most of what I’m singing is not in my key. Especially not if I’m singing Fur Patrol’s new song ‘Lydia’. I’m excited about weta/fur patrol/shihad in Hamilton. I’m ever more excited about PJ Harvey and Placebo at the big day out.

There was a half hour concert of Placebo’s on the telly tonight. It made me cry, what a wuss. I really must get my shit together. I was stoked to see the bassist wearing a very pretty dress over a pair of flares. Good fashion sense. I’m reading ‘A Suitable Boy’ right now, which I think I’ve mentioned it before. I stole it from Karen, along with “No Logo” (I told her I was telling everyone about “No Logo”, and she said she did exactly the same thing after she read it – Naomi Klein has become her own brand now). Anyways, yes, so I thought it was Karen’s book, but then from the first page I knew it must have been Opa’s book, because of all the red pen notes and underlinings in it. So many of the books I got from him have that all through them – what an intellectual. I wish I could have written something amazing and made Opa proud of me.

Arrrrrrrrrrgh! This is absolutely driving me stark raving bonkers – I’m so full of regret about EVERYTHING lately, and I don’t know why, and I just wish that it’d stop so I could just get on with day to day stuff. It’s kinda like my petrol tank in my car – I always leave it running on empty, but so far the empty light hasn’t shown up before I put the next $5 in to keep it going. I’m not entirely sure that the warning light works anymore, so maybe I’ll just break down in the middle of nowhere and it’ll be kind of a suprise. See, even when I complain about my dumbass feelings, I write more dumbass drivel. This is insane, I’m going to stop writing now, and go and read my book instead.

Me: “I’m not married, how can you think that I’m not a virgin? What kind of slut do you take me for?” – Mum: “My daughter”

So I’m at the TV studio now, not actually sitting and typing at my computer at home – but I guess I’m doing that too now. Woah, how freaky-deaky is that? Pretty trippy huh? Absolutely!

Sorry, I haven’t slept that much. No actually, I guess I did – 2-11 is pretty decent. I guess last night wound up pretty early. Why Joanna, what ever did you do last night? Ate. Let’s start at the begining.

Yesterday being Sunday and all, that meant that the Sunday lunch was on. Brad made us all toasted bagels. Well, by all I meant me and Brad and Clayton and Justin, because Kate B had to work. Justin’s such a freeloader, man! I’m sure him and Brad used to go be funny at JUSTIN’S house, but now he’s always @Garland. He likes to soak up our “savvy” atmosphere. Apparently. I bummed around for ages after lunch, Brad and I playing Married Couple sharing the sunday paper. Tabloid Tabloid Tabloid. Later when Brad got home from his parents’ house, and Clay got home from umm the beach, we all piled into my car, and went to the service station to pump up my tires. Wow, it’s actually really really astonishing what a difference a little air makes to how hard or easy it is to steer my car. I wouldn’t shut up about it. Then we went to Liquorking for (discounted) wine, the supermarket for bits and pieces, and the vege store for capsicums. Thrilling. You see, we were having our Survivor Dinner, and it was about fucking time too. Clayton, as one of the losers, was making Roast Capsicum Soup. Justin, as another of the losers, was making Vegetable Lasange, and Kate B, as the other loser, was making ambrosia for dessert. That is, if she ever got home.

Anyways, so Justin showed up, and proceeded to take over the kitchen after making us all drink Pims. I tidied the lounge some more, as we were expecting more company after Dinner because Brad and Justin’s first radio play was due to be played, and people were coming over to listen to that. Kate Benton rang and said she’d be home by 6.45 at the latest. Mmmhmm. That was a bad thing, because we were expecting people to start arriving by 7.30, and as they weren’t contenders in Survivor, they weren’t supposed to be part of the Survivor dinner. Kate rang back and asked and begged and pleaded if Johnno could come to the dinner too. After having yelled at Clayton lots last time he invited Kara when he wasn’t supposed to, it was a really hard call to make, but I, strangely enough, am fairly sympathetic to girls with boyfriends who are prone to enormas bouts of sulking, so when no one else objected, Johnno was given the go-ahead to attend, since he was also promising to bring more wine.

7pm arrived but Kate didn’t. Everything was ready, and I’d set the table beautifully – well, as well as I could given that we’re a student flat and not my parents’ house. I rang Kate at Johnos around 7.15 and she said she’d had a glass too many of wine, and was just chilling out a bit before she drove over. Robyn and Analise actually showed up before Kate and Johno, so we banished them out to the patio and sat down to enjoy the dinner, once Kate finally showed up.

And what a fabulous dinner it was, too! Mmmmmm, all the food was absolutely lovely, the company was divine and it was just all good. “Kama Hope” was funny, and all that good stuff, so yeah. Todd never showed up – apparently his car broke down. We were hoping that he’d show up at 7.30 exactly like he said he would, as Justin had said he’d eat his hat if Todd was actually on time. I really would have liked to see that. Kate Morrison showed up, however, and went to the patio too – not that we’re mean or anyhting. We made Johnno pretend to be Maree, as she was in hamilton and unable to attend, although she’d been a winning Survivor as well.

After dinner, despite having heinously full bellies, there was some dancing in the hallway, as per usual. Kate and Johnno were disgustingly sweet and even slow danced to Creed – awwwwwwwwww. I like Johnno cos he bought me pringles later – I’m so easy to please. Everyone ended up on the patio later, and we had really cool discussions about lots of stuff. Brad and I chortled a lot when Johnno was like “I can’t tell if you guys actually like Creed or not, because I saw you singing along with gusto, yet you keep making them the butt of your jokes.” Johnno and I argued about “Chasing Amy” some, because he thought the girl in it was a really strong character, but I disagreed. Clayton piked really early, closely followed by Kate M and Brad, then the girls went home. I stayed up drinking yet more red talking to Kate B and Johnno and Justin, but eventually, I was pretty tired too, so I went to bed. It’s kinda exhausting being with a couple who are so cute together, even if they’ve had their ups and downs.

Today I feel good and not hungover, although I’m starving but locked in the TV studios waiting for them to finish their rehersals so I can pimp to them. I will end this now and go read the herald, i think

ciao!

“I have a cock in my mouth!” – Popular Kate

So there’s vodka in between the “yes you look beautiful” and “go heavy on the lips and let the eyes speak for themselves”. It’s the vodka kini gave me, and more than anything i just want to move to the coramandel with her and think about nothing else in the world, but I can’t. Penny never answeers her phone, so I go out with Kate Benton. Vodka and a bottle shop, and I’m drinking imitation baileys at John Abbott’s house.

He’s out at first so Kate and I sit outside at first, her smoking and me reclining on the lounger. And then Mike’s there so we’re talking cartoons and Gummi Bears and I’m singing theme tunes. Then we’re talking lego, and I’m promising to only let my kids play with my basic bricks instead of that new commercial shit.

I just put ice cream away, sorry. It’s hard sometimes when yuio are drunk and thinking “it’s okay, I’m going to throw up anyways” to stop piggign out but yeah, ice cream back in freezer. Damn cherry ripe. Fuck my hand hurts, despite the ice that daniel/onyougo gave me.

So more people showed up at Abbotts, and I had to put aside the cosmo I was reading. I think we played Sexual Conotations but that was too ahrd to play along with so it switched to I Have Never and my god what a tramp I have become. I was drinking imitation baileys, did I mention that already? Eventually i had finished it all, and argued with Mike sodme more about limp bizkit, and a taxi van got called. I remember sitting in the back row, drinking abott’s vodka and calling him a cunt cos he was arguing with the taxi driver

and then we were somewhere in mount eden/ three kings and there were candles and it was supp[osed to be a fur party. O ut on the patio, someone gave me a cosmopolitan, and then some otyher cranberry drink that was in a staff room muig. And so that’s alcohol, which is fun, and I’m talkijng to mike for aages and ages about Europe. TGhen there’s running off to the abthroom, and a girl in a fur bikini sitting on a stool that I’m sure is straihgjt from a science lab. I throw up for a bit, because that’s what’s expected of me , isn’t it, and there’s pretty candles all over the bathroom. A nd cool paintings too. I talk to some boy in the toilet que too.

Eventually I’m done, so I run away from the deck down the stairs and I’m on the spa pool level I think, so I lay down and look up at the stars and clouds and stuff and chill out. Oh yeah, Kate B and I had been ahving big cries on the porch and I don’t feel like I can lump it all on her, even though I love her, or maybe because I love her, and I’m not very healthy, if you;’d somehow managed to not pick up on that fact. But it feels nice to lay out on the lower deck, so eventually I go back to the upper deck. I stop to relight a flare on the way up thou7gh, and somehow, I manage to seriously burn my hand. It really really hurts, and there’s black smut stuck to my hand, which feels much better when Daniel gives me some ice to clutch. Some girl says “come nad have a dance” but I’m clutching the ice so I don’t. Ice runs out eventually so i’m dancing, then we’re all outside, and I’m in a taxi, but it’s not a taxi van, so there’s not enough room for everyone so I get out, and the driver tells us to call a van ourselves, so Abbott’s yelling abuse, and Mike’s up a tree, and it’s all a bit much, but I get in a cab with Daniel and Le-at. Turns out Daniel isn’t even his name, it’s geddon, or something like that, damn Mike, never should believe a word he says.

So we’re in three kings, which means soon w e’re on Campbell Road, and I get the driver to drop me off on Ferguson Ave and walk the rest of the way home. AThis way doesn’t scare me at all, its’ on the other side of the street in the park that I have waking nightmares about, but not for the reasons that you might immediately think of.

Must stop listening to Blur’s “No Distance left to run”

“now i’m on zoloft because you told me I was crazy”

hehhehehe excuse me while I giggle some more. Brad and I have just finished playing Truth or Dare. It was highly entertaining. The difference between us is that he has a hard time thinking of things to ask me that he doesn’t already know, and I have a hard time knowing what surface to scratch at. He made the point that we’re really really different from each other, but I listed all tht ehings we have in common, which is basically televidion and our own special alanguage, so that’s pretty cool. He’s fun to play with. We were mostly playing Truth, and not Dare, because it was cold outside,a nd I wasn’t too willing to set myself up for anything too mental, because he knows I call his bluffs so he woulda set me some crazy ass challeneges if I’d chosen Dare. A ctually tho, I only chose Dare twice, and one of those was “go onto the lawn, take your top off and yell ‘I’m the king of the world’ ” – and so I did that easily, because how hard is that, especially when it’s dark on the lawn and not even he would have seen. The other was “email that guy and tell him you want to shag him again” and I was like “no way, I don’t want to, and I’m not going to open up that can’o worms again”. See, there are things that even I won’t do. Althoyhg the only Truth question I couldn’t answer was “Name the saddest thing that’s ever happened in your life”. Most of the questions were very very very easy to answer “Who was the best shag?” – hmm, let me think about that one for not even a millionth of a second. And yes I know who my bridesmaids would be! OOOOOOOOOH! Penny rang me today – she’s been in Canada. It was SOOOOOOOOO good to hear from her. She told me this chick Irena who I havent’ spoken to since 7th form sent her email telling her I was a lesbian – go figure.

Before that, earlier thsi morning, our landlady came around. She wanted us to keep the garden neater and clean out the anteroom, suprise supirse. She had baby twins – I want some!@ Later when no one was home, I went and laid on the lawn in t he sun in just a slip, soaking up some UV mmmm melanoma and reading ‘A Suitable Boy’.

This evening, I went with Kate B to a bbq at her aunt’s house on the North Shore, because her parents were staying there, and they’re kinda my parents too. Her dad would really fit best in a 1940s film, in a hat and suit, and a martini constantly in his hand. It was nice, getting a proper dinner, salads and all, and I really love Tim and Barb. It’s so cool how both Kate and I get on sooo much better with our parents now than we did as stroppy teenagers. Yay us. Barb told me off for traumatising Kate out of singing ever – oh well! At least I apologised for the whole red dress fiasco. I had a big argument with Tim about me asking what the wine was before I confirmed whether or not I wanted a drink. But then Kate and I left when they started watching the rugby – scary!

I came home and rang back Karen cos of a message on our answerphone. So we nattered for a bit, and then Bradley came home, so I went to play with him. Saturday nights are our Play Nights, basically. We got glasses of red wine, and started pla.ying cards, but neither of us knew all the rules to any games, and it kinda sucked, so we decided to do some more painting instead. I painted some folders, he painted his comedy book, and then we finished off the bear. Only, we had no more brown paint, so I tried to mix some up, and the bear ended up kinda half purple. Still, ti’s a slut bear, so that’s kinda appropriate, right? Slut Bear, Purple bear… etvc etc. Then clayton came home wityh some weird TV people, so Brad and I went to help Brad try on Kate B’s clothes (there was a point, really). he refused to let me make him over, so he made me over instead. hang on, where are the photos?

Okay, admittedly only one of those photos is me. He didnt’ do too bad a job of my makeup though, apart from breaking my favourite blue wine glass in the process. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, those were from japan, and they were fucking excellent. But I guess I shouldn’t get too attached to possessions. No really i shouldn’t. After the makeovers, we went on the net to look for Midget Porn, but found suprisingly little. Clay’s friends left, but clay felt too sick to play with us, whioch is how we ended up playing truth or dare, and that was fun, yes. What e;lse? Friday schmyday, I donb’t wanna write about that. I wrote in my redbook today for the first time since I left Australia, but I was so busy writing a 10 point synopsis of what’s happened since then, I had no time to add ress any currnet sissues. I knida lied to Brad when eh asked if Zi had a crush on anyone right now, but nah, I think I don’t want boy anymore cos of complications and stuff, so that’s not really a lie. I’m saving myself for marriage and littlre brown babies! Cough cough um no. Woah, my eyes really hurt – that’s rpobaby a sign that it’d be a good idea to go to bed right about now.

“I have a cock in my mouth!” – Popular Kate

Oh yeah, two hours after my hypocondrical 30 days late inspired rant I got the familiar “owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” intialising cramp and then started bleeding, so yay, Polysistic Ovarian Syndrome avoided for another month. I figure my next period will be either 7.5 or 10 weeks late, following current trends, so that’s a pretty big freakout window. Sweet ass bro.

Right, enough ranting about periods, although it’s astonishing how perky I’ve been today and yesterday despite cramps, because I feel healthy. I’m also feeling popular – there’s no way I would have had the gall to try and co-ordinate a dinner of the size we’re co-ordinating when I was in high school. Apparently the boy I’ve had a mini crush on since first year who’s dropped out now is coming to the dinner, which makes me far happier than it really should. Now all we have to do is actually get money off people who keep promising to bring it in. There was a minute of minor freakout on my behalf today when i realised that our last day of ticket sales was supposed to be monday, which is of course Labour Day so we have to extend it to Tuesday, but it’s Maree that’s doing the smoozing phone call to the venue, so why am I worried? Did I mention yet that I’m disturbed at how many people are voting for me as “Gossip Monger” ? I won’t win it, but coming second is bad enough. Me, gossip? Never!

Oh lordy, I had the realisation today that I might very possibly get a bad reputation nationally for something that I don’t hardly remember, but I guess I brought it on myself. Ahh well, live and learn eh?

I’m learning Quest in Instructional Design right now, which is, of course, astonishingly enthralling. Multimedia Broadcasting, however, is more exciting because we’re planning our live broadcast, and Joe Fisher’s in our group now. We’re planning an explosive expose on the expo. Fantastic.

This evening no one could be arsed cooking, suprise suprise. Well actually Clayton was busy filming stuff around our front door, and consulting with Justin over his script. Justin called Brad out to talk to them, but I yelled at him (I’m brad’s agent, you see) and told him that Brad was tired from mowing our lawn and if he wanted to talk to Brad, he could bloody well come into the lounge. I hope it wasn’t anything important he wanted to say, cos I didn’t back down. Anyways, me Kate and Brad did a tag team effort on dinner – Brad bought milk, Kate made batter, and I cooked the waffles. It was a brilliant dinner, I tell you. Problem is, I had coffee with dinner, and then I had a v and gin afterwards (poor man’s vodka and red bull) so right now I’m really really really wired, and want to go to Dennys. But there’s no one to go with. I’m actually kinda offended Clayton didn’t ask me to help out in his video. Ahh well, fuck him, I don’t need him, I have my tiara. And pig tails.

So what else is new in my life? I finished “No Logo” by Naomi Klein and I so so so recomend you all go and grab yourselves a copy and read it – it was absofuckinglutely fantastic, one of the most interesting books I have ever read. I’m now reading the longest novel ever written – “A Suitable Boy” and so far it’s good. I’m not that far into it though, but I will be, eventually. Especially thanks to this caffiene buzz.

Oh, we finished our website! We’re in the process of testing it now, a truely thankless task, so if there’s anyone out there with a Mac, or any other odd computer settings who wants to take half an hour to lend me a hand, please email me and I’ll send you some details. Ta.

What else? Oh, the landlord’s doing an inspection tomorrow, and so Brad mowed the lawn today, which is very impressive, given what a jungle our lawn was – Kini can testify to that, even if Kini chose to go to Tonga instead of taking up my offer to camp in the wilds of our lawn. We’ve kinda tidied up a little bit – actually we attacked the garden just last week, because it was a lovely sunny day and I wanted an excuse to dress Urban Peasant (I ended up looking like a woman in ‘The Gleemers’ apparently, and I forget who that’s by). If I do the dishes in the morning, stuff should be cool, except I didn’t know there was a message from the landlady on the phone, so no one might be home when they come around – hopefully I can sort things out with her tomorrow morning. I have forums to go to and pimping to do tomorrow, the boys are filming Clayton and Justin’s thingies, and Kate – well, who ever knows with Kate?

Brad: “When am I going to learn that you’ll always call my bluffs?”

Too much caffiene, too much too much too much. I’ll stop this here eh, before it gets even more gutteral. Oh! Conversation overheard in the lift today – a girl and a guy raving to their friend about how good Coyote Ugly was. And they were serious too. Good lord, what is the world coming to?????

“i’m being talked into seeing coyote ugly – help me joanna help help me joanna”

“I was going to make apple crumble but then I thought about how long it would take to peel all those potatos and then have to throw them out because that’s not how you make apple crumble

You know, sometimes I suspect that the Internet, and more specifically, having a whole web of information at your fingertips, is a really bad thing. I mean, sure it’s great when you need to write a gossip column and Creedwatch before tomorrow, such as I do now, but there’s other times when it’s not. Such as, when you’re vaguely worried about something, and someone suggests something so you go and look that up, and then seem to have all the symptons. And of course, then there’s a quiz just like out of Cosmo, count up the points and see if you fit in, and so maybe I should just go and see a doctor and have my mind put at ease. It’s too easy to be a hypocondriac with too much information. But I might still wait so that it doesn’t seem like I’m over-reacting too much, and besides, I’m broke, and yadda yadda. Besides, if I found out that I am in perfect health, what would I have to worry about then, besides oh you know, finding a job, getting a life and all of that?

I had no classes today, but I went into tech anyways to pimp. $30 a pop is pretty cheap, you know. Everyone’s talking about the dinner, which is very exciting. I plan on crimping my hair for it, which will take hours and hours, but should be worth a crack, Nigel. A lot of people are talking about coming in costume, which is fantastic. And we’re generating buzz about the awards. The Radio Majors have all voted for the same person in one catergory, and Nige was trying to bribe us but he didn’t show us the money. Maree and I have been super efficient selling tickets, really we have. I got ticket 001, but to be honest, I haven’t paid for it, nor has she paid for ticket 007. But we will! Brad asked if we had eftpos, so I was like “sure, swipe your card through my butt crack” and he was like “no, I meant your cleavage” so I offered it to him, he pulled out his card but at the last momemnt backed away. When I accused him of being a wimp, he said “but your breasts are so magnetic, I’m afraid they’d wipe my card”, which was a good call. I hung out at Global Sandwich for a while, keeping Kate M company and eating a sandwich from the French place inside Imax, naughty me.

We were supposed to have our Survivor Dinner tonight, but at the last minute, Justin canceled. This is probably just as well since Clayton had invited Kara, which he should not have done, as she wasn’t a contender, so why should she reap the benefits? And Maree couldn’t make it either. Still, Kate B was well annoyed that she’d bought the dessert ingrediants for nought. Kara asked me tonight if it was okay if she stayed for a week, which I found very funny since Clayton had already asked us and we pretended to hmm and hah over it while not actually having a single problem with it. Once you pop, you just can’t stop.

I had scary dreams this morning, a guilty conscience kinda dream if you will. Almost every guy I have ever scored or nearly scored was at this party, and I had all these weird conversations with them. One guy wouldn’t leave (again) so i had to get my friends to kick him out. I got way too close to another guy, which scares me, because lately I’ve been taking my cues on how to live my life from my dreams – my current crush only became apparent to me after I dreamt we were spooning and it made me feel really safe. But in regards to my current crush, I’ve decided that the complications make it too unworth it, and I can’t be bothered. So I’ll go be predatory somewhere else. Or I won’t – I had this scary vision of me twenty years from now as Housekeeper for all my friends, Alice in the Brady Bunch, without so much as even the hope that the Butcher will ask me to marry him. I told Kate B that, and she said I was far too special for me not to be found by someone, which was lovely of her to say, but I think she was just happy that I love her new haircut so much.

all walls are great if the roof doesn’t fall

Icky, Kate was only in my room for like a minute and yet it still smells of smoke. Blaargh.

If you go to here and click on the Feature Story about AUT, you’ll see video footage of one of my assignments that I did – well, not MY actual piece, but what others did, and you’ll get to see Bob King my lecturer, and also Trevor, who’s in my group for both Project and Broadcasting. So there you go. Or off you go, or something.

I got up heinously early this morning because Andrea decided that it’d be fun to have a group meeting at 10am. Ick. But that was okay, cos her and I and Trevor decided to do our hour broadcast from the Multimedia Expo Tabloid Style, so that’ll be fun. Yes indeedy. Then I went and found Maree, and I made up the tickets for our dinner. They’re stunning, truely they are. God I suck at print work! So I printed them out, and hand numbered and signed every one of them. We went up to the TV Studios to distribute nominations forms since the TV students never deign to check their pigeon holes in the State building, and just to spread the word around a little more. Of course, no one had money to buy the tickets today, but hopefully people will get their acts together real soon. We also booked the DJ and got an invoice from the bus company and everything, fantastic.

Ayyeeeee Robbie. this amuses me muchly. But if I ever seem to be turning into a blogging kinda person, please do shoot me.

Clay showed us his documentary tonight about bFM, and it was really really good. I’m so proud of him! Brad’s doing a radio documentary on the Auckland Theatre Company, Maree’s doing PR for the NZ Ballet, Kate Morrison’s being brainwashed by the Hare Krishnas for her radio documentary, and what am I doing for my project? Wastewater systems. Thrilling.

All sorts of factors have been combinding to weird me out lately, like for example Kate’s mum ringing tonight, me having a big chat with her, and then her asking me to ask Kate to call home going “can you ask Kate to call Barb please – her mum” and I was like umm, I have known you since I was 5, I know who you are. Well, I found it strange anyways. But then again, I’m really really thirsty/sore throated and stuff, so I will go now.

we’re here just a little while

I went to Shell this morning in my pjs for eggs and a newspaper. I made beer bread and apple muffins for lunch, and it was very nice. Kate Hamlin was over to watch Dawsons with Brad, and Justin HAD been over to be Funny, but he left just as I served lunch. But Kate B and Clay were there, so it was party of five, only I hated that show. I’d only had about five hours sleep though, or less cos I got woken up at 10, and I’d gone to bed around 5.30am.

Yesterday day was very boring, doing nothing. Clayton and I decided that in the evening we’d go for a picnic in Cornwall Park and hope we weren’t attacked by chickens like the last time. But then we couldn’t think of anyone to come with us, so we decided to flag. I was having a really dumb boring evening, even though I was reading my great book – No Logo – so I decided to call Andee, who I haven’t talked to in aaaaaaaaages. So I did, and by the time I got off the phone, one of my ears was ringing from yelling so much.

Andee’s so much fun to gossip with. I told her about how when I’d been going through my 7th form diary looking for dates for my memory ring I’d come acrosss all these little conversations from IRC I’d written down, so we ended up having a total reminising session – as we always do, basically. That meant we both ended up yelling “PHANNIE! PHANNIE!” so much that Clay knocked on my door to see if I was okay. We both decided that we’d drop everything and move to Christchurch if he just said the word, and she was jealous I knew his middle name and never told her. Plus I got in trouble for some old scandal with morphine matt etc etc etc. Blah blah blah. If you’re Charlotte or Amy or Fiona or Hulita you’d be laughing right now cos you’d know what we were talking about. But if you ARE any of those girls, why haven’t you emailed me? Happy 21st Charly baby. Anyways. I really miss the old days, like in first year when I’d go to Hamilton like once a month, and drink instant coffee with three sugars and milk or cheap bubbly with Andee and Ren and Amy if she was ever around, and we’d go to Mark’s place, or Scott and Hugh’s, and just have fun. I’m hopefully going to go down to Hammy on Novemeber the 17th to go to Weta, Fur Patrol and Shihad with Andeee at the Hillie, and we decided that we’ll also drive around Hamilton with the windows rolled down calling out “Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!!! Huuuuuuuugh! Can I borrow your lip balm?” until we find him. Heh. Oh to be 17/18 again!

Anyways, eventually we wound up our conversation, and Brad was home from work at that stage. Me and Clay were sitting at the dining room table to keep him company while he ate his dinner, and we were each having a drink, and I was leafing through my 7th form diary again and chuckling at my complete IRC obsessions. The boys were like “What’s that?” so I explained and read them a page, which made them laugh a lot, and they asked me to read more, so they did. I actually had a printout of some logs with MM from when he told me he kinda fancied me, so I gave them that, and oh lordy did they ever giggle! And I did too, fucking hilarious man, so sweet and naive and all. I so wanna be 17 again! But actually no, the process of getting from sweet and innocent to bitter and jaded was kinda painful, and I’m not too willing to go through all that again. Sorry, I’m rambling, like I said, I’m very very tired.

Anyways, we went to the supermarket for bread and hummus, and more carbonated beverages, and went back home for a big Show & Tell session. Clayt brought out his sticker books and cartoon sketches, Brad had some book his ex girlfriend made for him, and I also had my sixth form diary, and first year diary – which isn’t very full, admittedly. I pulled out the big guns, and read them New Years Eve 95/96 so that they could finally learn the whole story to the “Your Hair is Choice” thing, and after that, Brad said he didn’t think he could hassle me about it any more as the context makes it much much sweeter than they’d originally thought. But there’s still plenty of other stuff they’ll hassle me about though. So we drank and drank and gossiped and reminicsed. Both Brad and Clay keep all their old movie tickets, so they were going through those and stuff. At one stage I went into the kitchen and realised that between the two of us, Clayton and I had drank nearly an entire large bottle of rum – he was pouring so I think they musta been very strong drinks. I was shocked. Then we went to the hallway to dance. Creed came on, so I had to raise my knee, but since there were no chairs, I put my foot on the wall. I was wearing really stretchy bootlegs, so I just kept sliding my foot up the wall until it was about over my head kinda. The boys were very impressed, and also understandably a little scared. I’d showed them previously that I can get my heels over my head – in a non sexual context that is. We were still dancing in the hallway (Clay has a new stereo which is very loud) when Kate B came in crying, which was very sad. I took her to my room and had heart to hearts. Then when I went to get her a drink, Brad told me to break out the good gin. He caused a minor scandel at his household, you see, for buying Seagers Gin which he can get for $10 a 700ml bottle through some freak staff discount thing (smaller bottles are more expensive), but his mother said that him drinking Seagers would make his grandmother turn in her grave, so she bought him a bottle of Gordons instead. Anyways. So we sat and listened to Kate for a bit, and made her laugh and stuff which was good.

Then Spiller came on, so Clay and I went to the hallway to dance, both very drunk. I don’t know what happened, but somehow he was on the floor but I didn’t realise, and I tripped over him, and there was screaming and oh, it was just a great big mess. Kate and Brad came into the hallway then too, and so we all danced for ages, swapping partners at IRC rates. This morning, I think it was Brad that described it as a ‘Dance Orgy’. Then we all went outside for a while. Kate and I were both on the comfy sofa outside which we’re actually going to move inside in exchange for the uncomfy blue one. Or rather, the boys are going to swap them, in exchange for Kate clearing up the thousands of mugs she leaves outside. That’s the plan anyways. Kate and I actually talked about how she knows that she’s messy, and I know I’m too anal and stuff, and it was a big “but I love you!” fest. And I apologised for being grumpy with her and Clayton sometimes when I’m in a bad mood and it’s not their fault. I’m never grumpy at Brad though, cos he knows not to ask me about my day if I’m looking cross, and just concentrates on watching TV with me. It was such a lovely flat bonding session. The boys even said that they might possibly consider taking drugs with us at some stage. Not that we peerpressured them into it or anything. I love Kate so much, man – from the 6th form diary came a tale of how she stopped me from getting in a car with a drunk driver once and stuff. Then we realised it was 4.30am so the boys went to bed, and Kate and I went a little later.

So you’re caught up now, I think. But oooh! I do believe Brad actually wrote me a journal entry in the bible last night. I must go see if I can find that.

ain’t no party like a garland party

I wasn’t going to update but then I’d hate for certain people to have to write more themselves because no one else has updated, so here we go, stuff.

Brad and I saw ‘American Psycho’ last night. I just have to return some videos….. It was a really really good film, I enjoyed it a lot. In fact, I was laughing my head off, so possibley other people in the theatre may have thought I was a little strange, but the thing is that it was SUPPOSED to be funny. And if people weren’t laughing, they didn’t get it. Now, I know a lot of femminists were against the movie and the book, but to my way of figuring it, he killed fairly indiscriminantly, so it wasn’t glamourization of violence against women specifically. And Christian Bale was fantastic. I’m so glad they didn’t get Leonardo Di Caprico for it.

Around this time last week, i was swimming

I gave Brad a lift into tech today, and we decided to chance the “full” carpark and he very eagleeyed spotted an empty carpark, so I was super impressed with him. Bloody matinees at the Civic, people taking all of my parking room, how rude! So I bought Brad a cheeseburger in gratitude for saving me the stress of having to find somewhere else to park. I spent a couple’o hours at tech finishing off my Instructional Design assignment. Designers Edge is such a buggy piece of software crap, I despise it passionately. But it’s done now. And then I helped Kate B sort out her Flash piece on the movie of Saved By the Bell. Well, I kinda helped her, and a grad dip helped us both.

And as I always am whenever I’ve handed in a big assignment (40%) I was very grumpy afterwards, due to delayed stress. I was also very very tired. When I got home, I went to the lounge to watch TV, but eventually pulled out the couch and went to sleep, right when Clayton was talking to me, which wasn’t very nice of me. I’m such a grumpy person sometimes. Later, Maree came around with playlists that the DJ had faxed through, so we went through them marking our choices. I don’t think I should bother being ashamed of much of the stuff I picked. Girls just wanna have fun!

We were watching TV tonight and I said to Brad that I missed Kini, and he was like “oh?” and then he realised that it was the Crownies ad on that was making me think of her. I hope her holiday is divine. I’ll kick its ass if it’s not.

Squish! Squish!

ain’t no party like a garland party

I feel so violated! For some reason or another, I ended up at a Laura Ingalls Wilder website – I think it was some random link from Suck – and anyways, i discovered that the publishers put out like a jillion more serieses about her – all kids booky, and THEN they wrote books about her mother and her grandmother and oh my god, the pain of the commercialism! I mean, the Little House books were my most favouritest books ever when I was young, along with Narnia, and they made me wanna study history and be a pioneer and a school teacher and a mother and live in one room and everything. But see, at least they were real! I mean, Laura wrote them herself, it wasn’t some big dramatisation thingie. But this whole thing writing about her mother and grandmother and great grandmother even just makes me think of those “Sweet Valley High Ancestor” books which had like 6 (great) grandparents per book, all set in a different historical time – earthquake san francisco, or mobster chicago etc. And THOSE books in return remind me of the Sunfire romances I used to be obsessed with in which girl that book is named after must choose between dependable steady guy or ragey new heartthrob, while taking part in big historical thing like the Alamo (Victoria), the Revolutionary war (Sabrina), Pearl Harbour (Veronica) etc etc etc. And no, I’m not suprised I can still name all those books. That’s how I started to learn American history. Oh my god, Jessica Wakefield becomes a special agent!

Sorry, I’m kinda tired. I’ve been at tech allllll day, until 9pm working on my ID, but it’s almost done, so I feel good. Kate B was in the labs with me working on her Digi Com II assignment, so it was nice to have company. We had bagels for lunch from this really really styley place on High street, and i had yummy chinese for dinner. But neither of us took our cars in today, so we can justify the expense cos we didn’t spend on parking. And then Clay came and picked us up in the evening, cos he’s a sweetheart. For once, all four of us were sitting around in the evening watching seinfeld re-runs, so we figured out who we were. I’d be George, I admitted, cos I’m just freaky obsessive and hung up etc etc. Kate’d be Kramer, cos she’s craaaazy. Brad’s Jerry, obviously, and so Clay’s Elaine, which figures too.

I love this sweet valley high site SO much. I’m reading excerpts from every book. This is really really sick.

I value my portability

Because I’m too lazy to get up and find my remote control, I’m listening to “talkback” (or “ring up bomber and have him force his opinions on you because you’re only young anyways and don’t really think for yourself”) and he just said that only 45% of Americans plan to vote in the next election. That’s just fucked, eh. I was SO excited when I finally got to vote. Thank god for MMP, because actually if I lived in America, I don’t know who I’d vote for. Gore or Nadar I guess. I think too much – I shouldn’t be worrying about who I’d vote for IF I lived in another country.

I slept really crap last night – I was all hot, and also the cat molested me. However, when i got up today I felt great, so that was good. I even managed to sleep through some of Justin and Brad being funny. Clayton made waffles for brunch, with carmelised sauce and strawberries and bananas, and it was lovely. Mmmmmmmmm. Kate Benton wasn’t there, but Kara was, and Justin too, so there were five of us. And I got hassled a lot less than usual, which was nice too.

I didn’t do anything for the rest of the day, except for boogie with Clayton in his room to ‘Groovejet’ by Spiller – I really dig it. Maree came around just as I was about to eat my dinner for our meeting, and then Karen rang so I told her I was in a meeting and would have to call her back. Anyways, Maree and I have finalised ticket prices for our dinner at $30, decided where to get our DJ from, and are putting out the awards nominations forms tomorrow. We’re onto it. Or rather, she’s onto it, and I smile and nod. Oh, and I even met James, her former imaginary boyfriend, although I’ll deny it if the oppotunity ever comes up.

This talkback is SO annoying – where oh where is my remote control? Oh there it is, cool. Bye bye. Channel Z had a competition once where you could design a character for the TV show “The Tribe” – Brad and I were going to submit one called ‘Shooter’ who would be large and ugly and opinated and would think that he was the leader of the group but actually had no one’s respect, but we never got around to it.

Well who’s a fucking boring bitch today then eh? I’m like a total gossip free zone. Stink. Tomorrow I’ll go to tech to work on my motherfucking Instructional Design assignment that I’ve hardly started. Goals, objectives, tests – who needs these things? And for that matter, who really needs to know how to use the AUT phone system? Grr. And I will take a bus in too, because I’ll probably be there for hours, and also parking has been mad lately. Although I guess now the holidays are over, but stiiiiiiiiiiiiilll…

Oh, I’m reading some book that I stole from Karen’s house called “No Logo” by Naomi Klein, and it’s really really good – all about advertising and branding and stuff, and it was written this year so I’m in touch with all that it’s talking about and shit – like this:
“The merger between media and catelog reached a new high with the lauch of the teen TV drama ‘Dawson’s Creek’ in January of 1998. Not only did all the characters wear J.Crew clothes, not only did the nautical windswept set make them look as if they had stepped off the pages of the catelog and not only did the characters spout dialogue like “He looks like he stepped out of a J.Crew catalog” but the cast was also featured on the cover of the January J.Crew catalog.” – Naomi Klein, No Logo, Flamingo London 2000.

I should brand myself that well.

Please sir, I want some more

We need a second phoneline. I don’t care if people don’t get through while I’m on the net, but if I have to spend $15 on cabfare because bloody Kate Benton’s on the net and I can’t call her, then that’s a problem. Actually, she should just get a cellphone. Yes, thaqt’s a good idea. Or I should put clay’s # into my cellie so at least I can get ahold of SOMEONE at home. I wanna smoke bud and then sleep, yes, that’d be nice.

Andrea’s was tonight, her 21st at the ASB tennis centre in Parnell. It was strange going there by myself, no Gangers. Well, Kate drove me, but she wasn’t coming in and stuff. Of course, first party I ever go to by myself since high school and I get lost going there. I got misled by a trail of balloons that took me up some steps into the actual stadium itself. It was huge and vast, seats all around it, floodlit and goddamit I felt like fucking someone right in the centre with a huge cheering audience. Anyways, eventually I found the right pavillion, and it was really disconcerting going in at first, because I couldn’t see anyone I knew, but luckily Andrea came up to me and hugged me, so I gave her the birthday pressie I got her in Wellington (a necklace) and she pointed me in the direction of Jeremy and his girlfriend Renee.

I hung out with them most of the night, which wsa really cool except when Jeremy talked about his 21st, which ended up being a really really horrible night for me. I talked to Helen too, which was cool. She was like “so, how was Wellington? No wait, don’t tell me, I read all about it” so I felt kinda superfluous, because she reads my journal after all, so why bother talking to me? But yeah, we discussed the length of some chick’s skirt and stuff, so that was fun.

There was a full on dinner and then dessert laid on, plus alcohol. I drank a lot of some strange punch, that tasted of grapefruit and cranberry. I dunno if there was much alcohol in it though, because I don’t feel all that drunk. The sky outside was all tinted pink from the sky tower being lit up for Pink Ribbon Breast Cancer Awareness week. I cried this morning reading the Herald, an article about the Yellow Ribbon Week. Factor #3, a loved one refusing to support/help you. I danced a little with Renee to songs Jeremy didn’t know (Freedom 90, Olivia!) but they left early with Karin and her boyfriend, so I left at that time too. Kate B had said she’d come pick me up, but she was on the net looking up Saved by the Bell (there was a movie and Zack and Kelly got married!!!!) so I couldn’t call her and I had to take a taxi. Karin’s having a baby. That’s really strange, although I guess she is like 30 something (I think – I hope I’m not wrong, cos that could be really offensive). Kate B and I talk about babies all the time lately, scary. It’s been nearly 2 months without a period for me, but for once in my life I don’t think I’m pregnant.

But I did say that Andrea’s was cool, right? And that she looked stunning, and everything was really well arranged and everything? aANd that the speeches were funny even though I hardly know her, and the venue was nice and all? Oh spot the rambling drunk girl! I’m soooo tired, I wanna smoke pot until I fall asleep, but I don’t have any. Clay’s on lunch tomorrow, waffles I think, which will be nice.

Oh, after speeches, I’ve decided taht I definately need to get a boyfriend before my 21st in June. Someone who will actually publically acknowledge me, and say something really cute and dumb and sweet at my party. Yeah, that’d be nice. Actually, there’s a boy I want now, but it’s complicated. When Kate was driving me to the party tonight, she was like “I think you’re infatuated” and I was like “well it’s just so fucking exciting to finally want someone NEW”. But as always, I couldn’t fancy someone that fancied me, because how would I be able to respect them then?

I’ve been on a whole bunch’o message boards lately – some more serious than others. Interacting is cool. It’s nice, I need to learn more feminism, I need to branch out and open and expand my mind some. I’m almost tempted to somehow get a message board of my own, only i know I’d be disappointed when no one wrote anything, so it’s best to play on others. Oh yeah, speaking of involvement, don’t forget to please send me stuff from EnList. I know y’all can contribute more than like the five supremely cool epople that already have. Just send me a piece of writing, an image, any fucking random file off your hard drive. Thank you!

Updatefu Stalker Page

My first thought when I woke up today was “oh yeah that’s right, I’m in Bucklands Beach” and my second was “Oh god I had a big conversation with someone about rimming – now who the fuck was it?” If only Brad’s dad worked for Absolut instead of Coruba, I’d feel a whole lot less sick today. Still, who’d look a gift horse in the mouth? When I was talking to Justin this morning, he was like “yeah, you already told me that last night” and he listed other things that I don’t remember. I was really disturbed today by an answering machine message from Shirls going “how are you feeling today hon? you were quite drunk last night” so I rang her up and she said that I was very loud, but very entertaining. I could keep telling this story from other people’s perspectives and pretend like I have no recollection of the actual events myself, but that’d be lying. I do remember, and so I can tell you for myself. So there.

Yesterday afternoon, I drove Kate to the ferry so she could go to a big in-law gathering on Waiheke. Actually, she drove in, and I drove her car home for her. There was an awful lot of traffic, and her car’s all boy racery with super sensitive pedals, so I was revving all over the place, nevermind. As soon as I got home, I had to throw some clothes in a bag, and Brad and I headed East. His parents are away, you see, so he planned a slumber party at their house. I of course, am completely offended that he only has us over when his parents are away – like he’s ashamed of us or something. That’s fine, I know if i marry him (which I’m going to have to do, cos we just realised today that if we have kids, we can make them dress in animal suits!!!!!) I’ll get to meet them then. Anyways, our first port of call was Blockbuster in Pakuranga – or is it Botany Downs? Either way, it was very Vegas. I was very tempted to go up to the counter and ask where the porn section was, but I managed to restrain myself. We ended up getting “Night of the Living Dead” and “Jawbreaker” which billed itself as Clueless meets Heathers. It stars mrs marilyn manson, don’t you know. And I think he cameos in it. Not that we actually ended up watching the movies, but that’s jumping the gun a little bit. Then we went to the Botany Downs Foodtown for junk food. Oooooh! I have such exciting news. Greenlane Foodtown has just become 24 hours. We’re all very impressed – except that its liquor license doesn’t run from 12am-8am. Anyways.

So to Brad’s parents’ house we proceeded. He gave me the grand tour, and gave me a drink, so I proceeded to rumage through his kitchen to find something to cook for dinner. Ahh macaroni and cheese, what a classy dish you are. Shirley and Peter arrived while I was cooking, so we all sat down to dinner together, and for some reason, because the dining table was round, it felt very Brady Bunch. Nigel showed up with a box of lion red, so we all laughed at him lots, and decided to play Trivial Pursuit. It was the Young Players Edition, which made it even more interesting that you’d think. We were all astonished when Shirley couldn’t straight away answer what a country that shares its name with a bird that you eat was. “Have you been to Chicken lately?” I was very proud of myself cos I got three pieces of pie in one turn. We decided that whoever lost (ie had the least pie when someone won) would have to go swimming. Brad won, and Peter lost, but we said he could get drunker first before we made him get in the swimming pool.

Shirley and I played Nigel and Peter at pool, and lost solidly, because I suck. However, I can pretend like we were sharking them, just waiting for them to put money on the game. Kate Morrison showed up sometime then (today Brad and I decided to call her Beaver from now on, because on the mental awareness ads with a rollcall of depressed celebrities, there’s a Beaver Morrison and we have no idea who the fuck she is. so if you know, do email me). For some reason we started talking about babies, so she and I cried out at the same time “I want a little brown baby!”. Buffy was on then, and I tried to watch it, but I just have absolutely no attention span while drinking, so instead I went and talked to Brad and Justin. Once the tv show was over, we all went into the other room to play 3 Man. So that was entertaining. We found that Lion Red was slightly more drinkable if a) you were already drunk and b) you put a slice of lemon in it and pretended it was Corona. Peter was the 3 man most of the time, while Shirley drank a lot of water, something I should have been doing. Anyways, eventually we gave up on Threeman, and thought we were gonna watch the Zombie movie. But people drifted away from that because it was crap, so we played more pool. All night I’d been saying that I was going to go swimming, so eventually I decided that I would have to. Quite apart from anything else, the pool all lit up looked absofuckinglutely lovely. I borrowed a tshirt from Brad’s brother to wear over a slip, and went in. I think i was pretending to be Ian Thorpe or something. It was very very very cold, because the pool wasn’t heated. But still, I love water. I loved the hot shower afterwards too. It felt really strange cos I was still wearing my clothes when I got in the shower, and that felt very very sensual. I should shower in clothes more often!

Pajamas went on after the shower, and I realised that I’d be sleeping in Brad’s parents room instead of the double bed in the spare room that I thought I’d nabbed, because Brad and Kate didn’t want to sleep in his parents bed. I remember back in high school, whenever we had parties with absent parents, it was always Sarah and Dylan that took the master bedroom, as they were our token couple. Anyways, most of the people had already drifted off to bed, so I stayed up playing pool with Nigel and Peter, talking too loudly apparently, and being rather crass, as you do. Or rather, as I do. Eventually they crashed out in the lounge, and I went to bed, to fall asleep straight away.

I woke up around 10am today, to the sounds of people leaving and other people tidying, so i decided to linger in bed. No matter how hard I wished for it, no one came in with a glass of water for me. People are so inconsiderate these days. When I remembered the things I discussed at the start of this entry, I started giggling lots. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s giggling. Anyways, I made the dumbass mistake of tumbling out of bed to walk into a kitchen where eggs were being poached, so I realised just how queasy I felt. Green tea was good then. I got to read the fantastic local Howick paper, which amused me greatly. Justin thought I called Brad “Kitten”, which I didn’t, but we decided we’re going to call him that from now on anyways. We put all the empty bottles into Brad’s car, as there is no recycling bins for people who live in Manukau. That felt very teenage too – removing the evidence. As we were driving home, Justin was driving in his car too, and he was following us far too closely, so I found a piece of paper and a pen in the mess in Brad’s car, and made a sign that said “Get out of my ass (and into my car)”. And then we made more signs, with really intelligent things like “Justin is gay” and “Justin has a small penis” on them, which amused us greatly. My favourite sign was “go on, go on leave you speechless” which is probably a bit of an inside joke, but it’s a take off of the Corrs latest song, because mocking Justin for owning the Corrs is a favourite past time of the Garland Gang, plus it’s very seldom that I’m able to leave him speechless (although telling him I shagged someone he went to high school with very much floored him).

We got Wendys on the way home, but it didn’t make me feel much better. I spent the rest of the day being online far too much (I’m hooked on message boards) and sleeping.

“blaaargh tom, make my head stop feeling dumnb”
“give your head to me, you’ll feel better then”
you want me to give you head?
“oh, well, if you’re offering anyway eh”
“oh yes, fresh semen in the belly – just the thing to settle a quesy stomach”

Updatefu Stalker Page

Yesterday I drove from Wellington to Auckland. I was just around Otaki, and tuned in to some provincial station when I heard them announce over the radio that flooding was apparently not that bad. I was like “Flooding? Oh shit!” because it WAS raining very hard, and that’s about when I drove over the Otaki river, which was all brown and fast and rough and overflowing its banks. State Highway One was flooded in parts, but there were always men with cones directing you to the other side of the road so I made it through okay. I didn’t pick up any hitchhikers, although I spotted a couple I felt sorry for. It was raining very hard, after all. Turangi Burgerking/Shell has the best bathrooms in the country to throw up in – they’re like seperate rooms for each toilet as opposed to flimsy little cubicles. Tirau Information Centre, meanwhile, gets massive props for putting fresh flowers everywhere. Whoever left a huge ass piece of wood in the middle of the road near Taupo gets massive opposite of props. There I was driving along happily just a little over the speed limit, singing along, and then all of a sudden, I had to come to a screeching halt to avoid this big hunk’o junk. I stalled my car, and skidded, such was my haste to stop. That got my heartrate up, I tell you. I should have done what the van behind me did – get out and move the wood off the road, but I was a little too shaken to think that well.

So that was yesterday day, spent driving. Much later last night, Kate and I went out to Dennys. We decided to be “hip” and “savvy” and “discuss” philosphical “issues” over endless cups of filter coffee and cigarettes on her part. Cue the bullshit conversation improv game. People are just like spring rolls, you know – all hard to the outside world, but on the inside they’re really just as messed up as the next one. Etc. We also devised a FANTASTIC plan for our next Flat Challenge – The Denny 12 Hour. It was gonna be “24 Hours at Dennys” but that’s a little too extreme, even for us. So yeah, we’re gonna see how long we can camp out there before we quit or get kicked out, sometime in the next couple’o weeks. Watch this space, cos you can come and play too.

Today I stayed in my pajamas, cos I was just sitting on my ass trying to put my project together. However, I’m sucking majorly at it, cos I dunno where links are supposed to go to as the content’s been divided up between the four of us, and I’m sure none of my pictures match their captions, and I don’t have diagrams etc etc etc. Nightmare. And I just remembered now I have to do my ID too, so that’s super sucky. Kate B and I were both grumpy tonight, but that’s okay, cos we still love each other really. We had a really really good talk at Dennys, and she’s agreed to take me out with her more often cos she actually does like me, and it’s good for me to get out of my comfort zone. With the exception of Wellington, I haven’t slept a night not in a bed in this house all year, and probably not very often last year either. Actually, that’s a fib – there was the night I spent in Hamilton in late january/early february when I ran away to welly earlier than planned cos of domestics. But other than that, yeah, everything takes place in this house.

Except oooh oooh, slumber party at Brad’s parents’ house tomorrow night, cos they’re away, so that’ll be exciting! We sat down and made an itemised list tonight in regards to it. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d go scan it, but it had bullet points and sub points and footnotes and everything. Kate’s made us promise to play Spin the Bottle. Oh dear. We staged and set up a great big mock for her tonight – we got Clay to start talking about the Olympic Closing Ceremony (see journal for my take on that), so I could be like “oh yeah, my favourite part of the Aussie Icons parade was when Albert Einstien came out dancing on a light bulb”. It was very funny for us, except for Kate beating me up afterwards.

Kini who i love dearly rang me tonight on my cellphone, and I didn’t know who she was at first. Then she said she was in Auckland, and I was like “OH MY FUCKING GOD” and I was very excited, because a while ago, Brad was teasing me going “waht if she’s not actually going to Tonga, she’s actually coming to stay with us?” – I wish! But apparently she was just in transit, and as she was only gonna be there for like half an hour it wouldn’t have been worth me getting dressed and going out to the airport to see her. Well, it would have been worth it if I’d even have been able to see her, but I probably wouldn’t have, so that wouldn’t have been worthwhile, but you know that even a minute with Kini is worth a lifetime of suffering. Grease grease.

Oh oh, despite the fact that he wears boat shoes, drives a Paj and is completley incompetant, we’re all in love with our (ex) landlord Ron now. Why? Because he left us a message in SPANISH on our answering machine, in response to our greeting. That’s so exquisitely classy.

Updatefu Stalker Page

Olivia has databased her entries, and she sent me an email telling me how many times things related to me were mentioned, so I went to her site, searched for “Joanna” and read all the related entries. It’s amazing how many stories there are there, the past, the history, events that ended up shaking me and shaping me completely.

And it’s on that same vein that I feel today. I had coffee with an old friend today. Friend is a weird word to use in this situation, but I realise that’s what he is now. It felt strange to sit across a table from him, and think that i used to be able to touch him, that we used to sleep wrapped around each other, that for a while I based my life around him. But I don’t anymore. I’ve missed talking to him, and I’ve missed being intimate with someone, but I don’t miss being with him. When we hugged, he still smelt the same, and felt the same, but I don’t feel the same. It’d be easier to still be in love with him, to pine, to whine, because staying the same is easier than changing. But I have changed, and I know it, and I also know now how unhealthy I used to be.

If I update right now, maybe I’ll get listed on Updatefu dot com finally. I should be in the top twenty, dammit.

I should also be on my way to Auckland right now, but I’m not because I couldn’t be assed. I wanted to sleep in some more, after staying up too late watching very amusing movies about zombies. I told Annette over ICQ about it so she watched it too, and I don’t think she appreciated it very much.

I hope this means I get to hang with Simon today. Or something. If someone wants to airlift me and my car up to Auckland, that’d be cool, but I really don’t feel like driving. Or maybe someone wants to come with me? Kini made me promise not to pick up more hitchhikers, but if you’re off the Internet, you’re obviously not a serial killer…. And having you in my car would count as a public place. I was actually thinking the other day about whether or not I’ve met people i met on the net in public. The first time I met Si was when he came to my house, but that was because Amy had brought him over, and he carried ym mother’s shopping up the steps for her. I met this guy Mike when him and his friend came over drunk one night when I was living in Mount Roskill, and probably one or two other people like that, but for the most part, I meet people in cafes. Not that I meet many people off the net these days, but there you go anyways, just some random waffling.

Okay, this surely counts as an entry, which surely gets me some clicks.

However, if you look at the file name of this page, you’ll see it’s the 28th. Wacky! Well yeah. Yesterday I did fire up notepad, and delete all the text from a previous entry and save it as the 28th, but by then, I was bored and iddn’t bother writign anything.

Top Five Celebrities in no discernable order
John Cusack (I saw High Fidelity last night)
Pacey (tonight’s episode of the Creek looks particularly juicy and gruelling
Geri Halliwell (the Spice Girls were on Egos and Icons the other night)
Robbie Williams (isn’t that self explanatory really?)
I can’t think of anyone else.

Lists are always fun.

I went around to the Bentons’ house last night just to pop in and say hi, and to see if there was anything they wanted me to take up to Kate when I go back to Auckland. As usual, they were delighted to see me (surrogate daughter). Tim wanted me to go see X-Men with him, but I declined. If I had more time in Welly, I might, but it was appearing that I’d only be able to go with him on a friday night, and there’s something not quite right about going to the movies with your best friend’s dad on a friday night. Barb asked me if i was going to take some time off after I graduate before finding a job, and so I told her I couldn’t afford it. She was like “go and see your grandmother then” and I had to tell her that I was already planning on doing that.

And so today I did, dragging my ass outta bed at some ungodly hour to make the trip up to Kapiti. Why is it that whenever I plan a drive, the weather decides to piss on me? I think it does it on purpose, knowing there’s no sound I hate more than the squeak of my windscreen wipers. Oma took me to a Thai restaurant, which was pretty crappy, but then again, I’m suprised that there’s actually anywhere that serves food with spice in Paraparaumu, retirement capital of the Greater Wellington Region. We were the only ones in the place, which is luck, cos it’s always amusing trying to interpret between someone who speaks predominantly Dutch who is deaf with little English, and someone who speaks predominantly Thai with little English as to the finer details of the menu.

Filler time! Random ICQ loggings.

Me:did you know that you have never ever emailed me not even once in your life?
Them:i’m sure i have.
Me:nope, never ever, even after I gave you an email addy and all
Them:i did write that thing for your page about how great you were after you gave me the email and i’ve emailed your guestbook and grudgebook and stick art
Me:yes, but you’ve never emailed ME…..it’s like if we were dating, you’d be coming around giving my kids candy and taking them to ball games and stuff, but then all you’d do with me would be sit on my sofa and drink beer
Them:it’s nothing like that! it’s like if we were dating, and i never wrote you a letter cause i talked to you like every second day at least
Me:no way man, it’s like we’ve been married 20 years and squeeze each other’s pimples and everything, but you never bring me flowers anymore
Them:it’s not at all like that! it’s like we had an illicit affair that turned into a legitimate relationship, and nowhere along the way did i put petrol in your car totally irrelevant detail
Me:it is SO like that – my version, not yours
Them:your version is crap if only for the simple reason that if email were flowers, i never brought you flowers, ever
But then we started talking about Paul Hogan, so no one ever won the argument.

That was very easy filler to provide, and while cutting and pasting all that, I remembered the other htings I wanted to write about today. Over lunch today, when she wasn’t asking me why I didn’t have a nice boyfriend (“because boys are dumb, oma!”) Oma told me that back in the day, my father had learnt the Dutch for “may I please marry your daughter?” and had asked her over the phone before him and Mum got engaged. Awwww, how sweetly romantic! She also told me that back when Mum was a teenager, and Oma and Opa were moving to Australia, Mum threatened to commit suicide if she was made to go with them, and Opa was so worried he bought her and Diz a house to live in so they could stay in NZ. When I think about the arguements I had with Mum when we moved to Japan, I just feel like screaming “Hello pot… this is the kettle…” but it was still very interesting. Oma’s cool. It’s just a little wearisome being by myself with her and havign to make smiley conversation non-stop.

For the first time EVER since it was moved back to Friday nights, I will not be watching Dawson’s Creek while it is live to air – it will be taped for me instead. This works out for the best, because otherwise Id’ have to put up with Neil’s dumbass comments all the way through it, which would have fucked me off no end. Besides, I have a hot dinner date. I’m supposed to take dessert, but i might just take wine as well.

I finally managed to track down Si today, but he’s in Waikanae, which I wish I’d known BEFORE I got back from Oma’s. Ahh well. Arrrrgh, my stats tell me someone found my page by searching for “Give Me Hope Joanna Lyrics” – all my childhood traumas come rushing back. “I don’t have dope! I don’t do drugs! I’m a good girl!”

I’d just like to add that Bonds boyleg knickers are fantastically comfortable and are wonderfully wedgy free.

In a few minutes I will either go watch videoed Buffy or 3rd Watch, but first I will write a journal entry, so that way, everybody wins.

I went on a Shoe Quest today. Momma and I went to this place on Cuba Street where you can get handmade shoes to measure, except that I wasn’t all that keen on the styles they had samples of, they were going to cost up to $500 and wouldn’t be ready until January. I was like “umm, no way” so we walked out of there. Then I was looking at some Royals in Wild Pair, but I was a little hesitant about spending $200 on shoes that I’m not even sure I’d wear that often. However, very shortly after that, I spotted some pumas, and the pair on the shelf was even the right size (11 girl, 9 boy), and so we bought those. Later we were at The Last Footwear Company, and I was enchanted by their range of birkenstock clogs in all colours of the rainbow, but wasn’t entirely sure it was a look I could pull off. So we went and had lunch at Felix, and then went back to the shop. I tried on some clogs, and decided that I did actually like them. I just got black ones though, because I think that’ll give me more versatility in wearing them. I haven’t had new shoes in almost two years, so it’s not too Emelda Marcos of me to buy two pairs in one day. Of course, I might also be getting some 20 ups from Simon……

So that was fantastic. Momma also bought me a towel, cos I always lose mine, and some underwear. I got what advertises itself to be the second most comfortable bra in the world – the most comfortable, of course, being a spunky young man holding onto your breasts for you. Although I’d like one of those, the novelty would probably wear off pretty quickly, so I’ll stick with my touched by berlei instead.

After shopping, I hightailed it over to Karen’s apartment around 3pm, cos we were supposed to go see Ghostdog at 4. She wasn’t there when I rang her buzzer though, or when I rang her phone, so I went and had coffee at Laffare up the street, leaving her an answering machine message to tell her where I was. When I called her back later, she WAS there, so I went over, but neither of us could be assed going to the movie at that stage, so i just hung out in her apartment for a couple of hours. It turns out SHE has been hoarding all the best picture books we had when we were young, so I read through all of them. She tried to lock me in her pantry, which I didn’t appreciate.

We went to meet Mum & Neil at Coyote around 6.30pm. Dinner was okay, but a little too expensive for what it was, I think. Mains were like $22-$23 but I’d say the food quality was around $17-$18. One of these days, I’m so going to do a restaurant critique site, because if you’re not interested, my journal must get SO borign every time i come to wellington, because all I go on about is the food and the coffee. Oh well. Anyways. Over dessert, Mum tried to be funny and reminded Karen not to eat the little bowl that the icecream was sitting in on the plate. I complained that she didn’t warn ME, and so Karen said she would be very keen to see me eat the bowl, or even just fit it into my mouth. I sized it up. It was one of those little glass bowls, about 1.5 inch diameter or so, that they always put dips or aioli or tomato sauce in. You know exactly what I’m talkign about. I said “nuhuh” but then Karen was like saying “I bet you couldn’t do it” which meant I HAD to try. I cursed her a lot for that, because she knows that I can never resist a challenge like that. I picked the bowl up on my spoon so as to be more discreet, but I just couldn’t fit it in. I was so disappointed in myself. You win some, you lose some.

Mum’s off to Dunedin tomorrow for some pottery conference. I’m going to go see Oma on Friday probably, and hopefully tomorrow I can track down Si the little roguester. Oh, and I gotta make a start on a website for Mum, and also do tech work. And sleep in. And read my book. Life is packed!