Hubris.co.nz

Sunday the 20th of December

So according to my grudge book, I’m a concept. And I’m fucked too. Coool. I was thrilled when I read that cos I was like “YAY! My Helenafication begins now”. But then I realised that no, it doesn’t because I know who wrote it. You’re right, I did ask for it. I think it’s interesting that someone who wants so little to do with me keeps coming back to read more, and also knows enough to quote it. But then again, you always were in denial about everything, weren’t you?

That said and done, I can move on. (No, really I can). I worked four hours in the Bakehouse today. It wasn’t too busy, except there was practically always people LOOKING in the shop, just not buying. They’ve got really cool purple tissue in now – I guess Jo got the last of the orange. After that I came home to the message in my grugde book, and took a minute to work out who it was from.

I was sitting around working on Karen’s Xmas pressie, when the phone rang. Within a minute I was out the door, on my way to Johnsonville to pick up my Onslow Best Friend (I figure I have to catergorize my best friends since I’ve got like a girl in every port – or so to speak). I haven’t seen Penny since like – June maybe, cos she’s always away with the Navy (yes, i know!). So that was fantastic. Her parents have moved to Cortina Ave, which is like the personification of Johnsonville Suburbia. So many of my friends from Onslow live close to it. It’s like Edward Scissor Hands town meets a big treeless hill. So that was kind of weird to be going there, given how few Onslow people I’ve kept in touch with. Sarh used to live at 80 Cortina Ave, in such an ugly characterless house. I soooooo want to call Dylan, espeically since I saw he has a story on the front page of the Independant Herald. So what if Sarah gets mad? There’s no friendship there to loose now anyways.

The Benton Parents were also over for dinner, but Penny and I took over the lounge, giggling over my scrapbook of saved notes and her drawings (just wai til I get a scanner!) Ahhhhhhhhh the old memories. We played hardtrance in the car to bring back those old rave memories. And we watched Spice World. That’s like the tenth time for me. It’s gotten to the stage where I start giggling a minute before my favourite bits, because I know it so well, and because it’s SO good. That’s not sarcasm. I fully love the Spice Girls. Geri Forever!

When I took her home, we stopped in the quad at Onslow so she could have a go driving the van. Then we turned the stereo up as loud as it could go, and danced hardtrance in the wind and the mist, in front of a school and a life we can’t return to. That hyped us up fully, so then we drove up and down the driveway, managing to get airbourne over one of the speed bumps. Driving back to Cortina Ave, we left the windows open and roared, Scary Spice style, at all the kids we passed. We went avisiting to Rosalie’s but she wasn’t home, so we went to Narelle’s – who wasn’t home either.

I was so suprised to hear from Penny, especially since I’d just been thinking about her this morning – after dreaming about Pixie (the girl, not the cat). I’d been feeling so much that nothing had changed since I’d left school, and I’d kept feeling like it was still 1997, but I know now that it’s not. A whole year has past, and I’ve changed a whole lot. I reaslised just how confident I’ve become when we were dancing in the Quad. Blossomed I could say – if I wanted to blow my own trumpet.

“And if you could see me now

Said if you could see me now

Girls, you’ve got to know when it’s time to turn the page”

Tuesday the 15th of December

Go and check out my Grudge page, and come back here later when I’ve actually written my journal entry, okay?

Okay, now I will write it up. I worked all day in the Bakehouse, which was long and boring, with the only respites being a quick visit from Jo, who gave me a shock cos I didn’t see her coming in, and I gasped in Terror. Not at her, honest! And oh yeah, Karen came by in the afternoon, and listened to me talk (for 20 minutes straight, apparently) about my adventures to Hamilton. She’s moving into Anji’s flat, cos Jen Troup’s moving to Washington DC for six months. Both my sisters living together in the coolest address in Wellington. Rock On!

Mum was in a real shocker of a mood, probably cos Paul wasn’t paying her enough attention. That woman is SO tragic, man! She was slamming things around, so I took the initiative to drive home. Her already crap driving, in a bad mood, in rush hour? That’s like, my worst nightmare.

In the evening, around 9.30pm, I went into Axolotl to see Anji, since she’d been so sad on Sunday whnen I left her. I timed it well, cos Joseph, my honey, was there, so I got to sit with him and a loser called Mark. (I think there’s something about that name that dooms them to loserness). So that was choice. Joesph was like “howcome we haven’t seen you on Shortland Street yet?” He cracks me up. I got to hear stories about his blowjob in Dunedin too from Mark – I think that embarrassed him a little. Once they’d gone, I sat by myself for a while, then K came to talk to me. She was really down, which, I imagine, is mostly due to the fact that she’s having an abortion tomorrow. Poor girl. It’s not something I discussed with her, but Anji told me. I took her flowers the other week after seeing her look really sad in town. I just wish there was more I could do! We had tortillas and guacamole – you know that you’ve got it good in a cafe when you can get another bowl of sauce for free, without even having to say a word! Plus I paid all of two dollars for a brilliant feed, and a hot chocolate. I love Wellington. I’m going to hang out with Anji on New Years Eve, cos she can get me a tab, and she rocks. Time for new adventures, I say. I just want to score. Does that sound really bad? Too bad, cos it’s true!

Any offers?