Hubris.co.nz

Sometimes it’s nice to know that your employer values you – or at least is happy to shell out a large amount of money on opportunity costs of having your entire company running around on Friday afternoon with DV cams making little videos about your company. Did I ever tell you that I work for a New Media company? I suspect that the previous sentence might have revealed that if you didn’t already know. Because we didn’t have any video production people in our group – we were mostly project managers and editors, we decided to take a really ‘organic’ approach and shoot our video in sequence to save on the editing. We went with my idea of making a recruitment video, and loaded it up with really bad puns and me hosting the video with signs, saying things like “To work at *, you’ll need to be great at juggling many projects” – to have the camera pan over to someone juggling potatos, and “it also helps to be really flexible” with workmates doing back bends and somersaults in the background. For the “you’ll be working closely with your colleagues” we had three sets of feet visible under the shower curtain. Hott.

After that (although quite a lot later, cos most of the other groups finished really late although we finished quarter of an hour early), there were drinks. Many many drinks in fact, and although I was supposed to go and meet Karen for dinner, we’d got pizza so I wasn’t hungry, and I was having far too much fun having very inappropriate conversations with my workmates (the word “quiffing” was used a lot, which they claim is a fanny fart. I’m not entirely sure that it’s a real word). But I knew Karen was pissy at me, so I headed over to her house just before 9pm. Arriving with leftover brownies, and also potato chips and wine appeased her somewhat, I believe. So we chatted, and I had a shower (and didn’t puke in it) and we trotted off to Indigo to meet up with Dave and his friend who turned out to be rather cute and exciteable like a puppy – but not Humpy-like, if you get the difference (or even the injoke).

I’m being stalked – again. Friday night, and then today outside my place of work, oh and also that one time in March 2002 (<3 google desktop, although if I ever decide to become obsessed with anything that I’ve been obsessed with in the past, I will be in a lot of trouble – assuming that you define trouble as “reading many old entries” as I sometimes do). But anyways, the stalker. I was at 24 Hour Party People, and I went to the bathroom, and there was a cute girl there who was like “HEY! You’re Joanna!” and I was like…….. and she was like “I’m blah blah blah, and we’ve actually met before” and I was like “oh yeah!” and I did actually remember who she was, which is incredibly impressive for me, and she said she was stalking me, and had a crush on me, and it might have been then that I picked her up and swung her around as much as I could, or that may have been later when she introduced herself to my companions as “Joanna’s stalker”. Awww how sweet! Except I think she was laughing at me today. But like with any stalkers – or indeed the very minute number of people who say that they have crushes on me, it’s like “and then?” (speaking of Chinese drive through people, Anji and I discovered that the Chinese takeaway in Hataitai is awesome. But back to the main narrative…). Or, as Katy – and the bard – put it “Would you leave me so unsatisfied? / What satisfaction can you get tonight? / Howsabout you lick my clit, bitch?” Ahh people who quote Shakespeare, how nice it is to know you.

I impressed yet more of Katy’s friends by not taking shit from them, and dishing it straight back (“Oh, you work at a cinema huh? So what’s your film script about then?”) and we hung out until around 4am when it was time to go home via the takeaway shop and some very amusing discussion with some very very drunk young boys.

Oooooh Nightline just played some remix of the Prodigy’s ‘Voodoo People’ and i got an involuntary flashback feeling in my stomach. Crazy. Nevermind. Let me catch up with myself. Hmmmm, where was I at? Saturday? Ahh yes. Saturday. The day was really weird and I had no idea of what was going on because I’d lost my cellphone – Anji kindly ended up picking it up for me from Indigo and I don’t have a clock in my room. In the evening after the aforementioned good Chinese, I drove her into town for SJD and swung past New World for brunch supplies cos I was hoping that either Anne or Brad would be joining me for Alf’s 60th birthday party the next morning.

As it happens, I ate my brunch alone, and got choked up when they showed a brief flashback of Shane dying on a rock. I am crazy! CRAZY! And I napped, and drove Ethel back into town to pick up Anji, who is the new proud parent of an iPod Mini so she’s gone Walking Crazy, and we did the supermarket shopping, and I made a tangine, and Brad came over for dinner, and Shiny Shiny Steve(n) sang CREED and Oh, I was overwhelmed with a strange combination of lust and amusement.

Work was a bit streesssssssssful today. They’ve put me on the schedule so that I can be booked like any common resource. Oh the pain. Then I had lunch with Mum, which was surprisingly pleasant. The Tasting Room does food + a beer or a coffee for $15. Since I am doing Hard Work (my email to limegreen today said something like “I am supposed to be writing a guide to the wazoo when I don’t even know where it is!” and he said something about how he’d heard how large and impressive my wazoo was, and I got offended, cos dude, who wants someone to say “my, what a large roomy asshole you have”?) so I had the coffee instead of the beer. The steak sandwich was served with really really good fries, and also two big onion rings in it, but it’s on very garlicy garlic bread, so make sure if you eat it you pick up some peppermints afterwards.

I just had a moment of remembering exactly why I used to be so in love with The West Wing when CJ told Josh she’d cook him dinner, and he asked if she’d wear an apron and she said she’d wear anything he wanted, and his eyes went !!!!!!!! I think I’ll stop this now. Oh, and some guy saying to Toby “what if they have seven or eight kids?” and Toby says “tell them to try renting a DVD sometime instead” – remind me again why I stoppped watching this show?

Tuesday September 17th, 2002

1. Oh really, Crushmaster? Someone has just all of a sudden developed a crush on me using “ae” before my domain name? and “gs”? Really? Oh, silly me.
2. When the fuck did I originally design this page if I just used “indigo” as a BGCOLOR instead’o a sexi-hexi decimal number?
3. Am I going to be sick tomorrow? I guess I am, right?
4. One of them had better have been sober-driving it home, or I will be SO mad.
4. I’m sure you knwo me well enough by now to click as to why i haven’t written in ages, if I haven’t written in ages.
5. Bo+Clay+Me flatdinners kick some ass.
6. I don’t think I’ll go to quiznight anymore – I think that ship has sailed. Plus, I have a supershort attention span, and oh yeah, I dunno. Some rant about pointless semi-rockstar semi-crushes etc etc. He’s still real cute though.
7. Clay and I, staggerign up the street, punchdrunk on $50′o liquor with just KateM and Nigel, and he stops to look at some guy, and I figure he’s just angling for a fight cos I thought the other guy bumped him, and I’m like all, oh no, BUT! BUT! It was goddam LEYTON. You know, the first flatmate that I ever kicked out, cos he wasn’t a team player and I wanted Brad to move in.
8. Brad McCormick, calling me on my cellie from work in Whakacarnie after I txted him going “OH MY GOD THE DRAMA” cos he knew I was talking H&A (I love our psychic bond) and he wanted a full description. Oh Kirsty and Kane, when will you find happiness together?
9. I really want to smoke pot with you RIGHT NOW, even if it means that you don’t end up talking at all after that.
10. Should I try and hold out for 32 points?
11. I had a big talk with Joseph today, and feel much better about my PR Practice paper now, even if we probably did quite badly in our report (oh, sorry Haley, I should email you, but to be perfectly honest, I’m more than a little squiffy right now, and I do have semi-proposal type things to write and send you, and then I’ll email you. Oh, that’s not like a “will you marry me?” thing, just in case the audience as a whole didn’t get thta).
12. I’m still loving my haircut and the other Hayley (with two y’s, not one) by default as well.
13. Who was teh fucking mongrel that listed me on crushmaster in the first place? No one has crushes on me. At best, you’d like to put your penis in me for a little while, in one way or another, or just engage me in witty conversation. I know the score, chief.
14. Welly and some valuable chillout alone time tomorrow, yay!

Tuesday, July 23rd 2002

In which Joanna and Bopha have Retro Night

“I haven’t done it either. I’m not a nymphomaniac – I’m a compulsive liar”. Guess who’s been watching ‘The Breakfast Club’ again?

Dreams this morning involved me scoring some random guy so that my friend could cheat on her boyfriend with the other guy that we were with, and one of the those guys happened to be Josh from Home and Away. We ended up crashing a Hercules plane into the desert in French Morrocco, and my friend got taken by white slave traders, and there was much hiding behind rocks and stuff until I woke up. Mm. It’s full moon kinda weather, right? My periods are no longer nsync with the moon, but my dreams apparently still are. Then again, if Bopha and clay jump on me again like they did tonight while I’m trying to swallow my bleed pill and make me cough it up, then who knows what will happen. Chaos, utter total chaos. Possibly.

Human Resources Communication lecture was actually really good, and plus I really like Lenny, so that’s cool. Hey Maz, if you read this before I have a chance to call you (and if that’s the case, then we are LAME) which text books should I buy this semester?). Then, cos I had a two hour gap before my next class, I hopped on a link and went to Newmarket to look for a stereo. Or rather, I waited 25 minutes for a link bus that is supposed to go every 10 minutes, which then took 20 minutes to get to Newmarket. Plus, I didn’t find a stereo. All I want is an Aiwa, Sony, or Pioneer microsystem stereo that has an RCA input plug and looks good for under $400. Why is that so hard? Actually, come to think of it, I haven’t seen a single Pioneer stereo anywhere. What’s up with that – are they just out of my price range or what? See, my parents hav always had pioneers, and me and my sisters have always had Sonys, so you know, I just wanna stick with waht I know. But then again, half the reason I want a new stereo is because the laser in my Sony stereo has been dead for a year and a half. Then again, I did buy it at the start of 1995, but it cost $800 then. So who knows.

OH MY GOD! I almost strangled someone in my Coporate Communication class this afternoon. We were doing an exercise on evaluating a particular politician’s postives and negatives and suggesting tactics for them before the election, and my group was working on Peter Dunne. There was one girl in my group who was like “Who? I don’t know who any of the leaders of any of the parties are”. OH MY FUCKING GOD! Okay, so maybe Peter Dunne was until last week one of the lesser known politicians but you HAVE to know him by now! And so I was like “what? how can you not know?” and she was like “oh, I have no interest in politics – I don’t really watch the news or read the paper” and later she was like “oh, I don’t htink I’ll vote – I don’t know what anyone’s about. Mum doesn’t like labour though”. I was just about ready to jump across the desks and throttle her. SHE IS A THIRD YEAR COMMUNICATIONS STUDENT FOR FUCKS SAKE! There is absolutely no fucking excuse for that kind of bullshit. Okay, it would have been fair enough if she’d grown disillusioned with the system, or disliked the policies of everyone, or was making a protest non-vote, or even if she was voting for Winston Peters cos she liked his three fingers, or ANYTHING like that, but NO! She didn’t have a single thought or opinion. Sure, maybe later years of the BCs didn’t have the benefit of the best Politics tutor in the world, Marcus, but if she can’t follow the media, she has absolutely no fucking right to be doing a A GODDAM MEDIA DEGREE! Especially with a major in PR. In Multimedia possibly there would be the faintest chance in the world that she could bury her head in code and never see daylight, but in PR, it is completely essential you have a grip on the environments that your organisation is operating within, and politics is vital to that. You don’t have to like it, but you should at least be able to identify who the leader of a party is. Even goddam fucking personification of stupid old flatmate Ben probably would have been able to tell you who he was voting for (because he like d cannibas and thought that the Greens were a single issue party in that respect) and would have had one or two issues that would have concerned him – ie the closing of Thames Hospital cos his parents were nurses. But oh no, not this girl. One of the other girls in my group was voting for Winston, which is tragic, but I still really like her as a person, and the other was going National, but she explained her standpoint, and while I didn’t agree I could at least respect it.

But yeah, after wadling up the hill in the rain, Bopha and Clay shared my total and utter indignation at that girl’s complete ignorance, and then I went a little bit mental, completly hypo. Hmm, I can’t remember what teh end of that word is – hypo ummmmmmmmmm. Hyperactive. It was fun, and Bops laughed at me lots, which is also kinda fun. So us two planned a retro night, with liquor and ‘The Breakfast Club’ since she’d never seen it. We were in the bottle store in Newmarket when the guy ID’d us – which is probably fair enough cos we spent ages debating the virtues of drinking RTDs in retroness, and I just laughed at him, and then was like “fuck, actually I don’t think i have my drivers license” and I was rattling out the same prattle that I used to use 8 years ago when I wasn’t actually legal to drink, but then finally I found it, and was hugely relieved cos I was just about to be really embarrassed. Yeah anyways. We tried to play a drinking game with The Breakfast Club, doing shots any time anyone said that their homelife was worse than anyone else’s, anytime anyone was called by their name, any time you saw a clock, any time Allison stole something and anytime anyone swore but eventually got lazy. According to Bops, if I was a Breakfast Club character, I would be Claire the princess, played by Molly Ringwald, with elements of all the others except for the jock thrown in. I kinda think Bopha would be the jock, except she’s so not, but she’s no one else better, and Clay would definately be the nerd. That’s all I’ll say about that movie (for now, anyways).

After that, we was watching music tv, so we had to run out into the hallway and try to learn the dance moves to ‘Step By Step’ by NKOTB on the public staircase. We think we got something going on, except then we were throwing in the panda dance, and also the crazy maraca thing Bops and I had been doing to a Santana song on Sunday night, so it got pretty fucked up. According to her, we’re almost at hte point where we don’t even need to talk anymore to know what each other mean, adn soon we will be communicating entirely in a language of clicks and beeps and “BO BO BO badabibi” I keep telling her stories, and she keeps wanting to meet people she’s heard about, so fi you’ve never met Bops, now is the time to get your act together and drop round.

ALSO! On July 17th, it was Hubris’s THIRD BIRTHDAY. This is very special and important, and hey, actually, I might like, you know, release merchandise soon. THREE! I can’t believe it.

Tuesday the 228th of December – Xmas 2000

Oh my goodness. I thought I saw my trailer’s

I have no idea what I was sayign then.

hehehe tom’s drunk and incoherant. He sucks. I crawled behind the xmas tree but managed to back out again in one piece. I won trivial pursuit. We wrote down some quotes. I think it was somethign about lesbians.

“I hope that fate understands the complexity of my dilema”

“do you have graceland? I hope that you do”

Why is this guy playing with my stereo?

“that’s cool, I like random quotes from me”

“you are sick on so many levels”

Well, so many quotes I may have admittimed above, i am workig tonight to tonighnt convince tonight of from Joanna of this: Paul Simon rawks. Paul Simon: Hi, I rock and stuff. What can ya do?

Tom sucks. I am playing Kate Bush now. Please understand that there is only my parents’ cd collection at risk here. You were engaged? Really? Golly! tehehehe. Heh.

Justine was very cool. She texted me today saying she loved me to pieces, which makes me feel so proud it gets a mention. I have to go to Unity and trade Shirley’s xmas pressie to me in for a book on Yoga. My legs hurt from pulling them above my head (party trick).

Heh. hehehe. Heh.

My cousin Jacinta is currently laughing at me and saying dumb things, but she gets away with it, becxause she is cool. I heart cousin jaacinta.

“Ooooooh I just know that something good is going to happen – I don’t know what it is” – Kate Bush, “Cloudbursting”. I’m inclined to break into a jig.

I like swinney org. I dislike the bump on my neck. “I’m not coming onto you, but feel it”. It’s so cancer. Ahh well, I’ve lived a good life. Our Xmas lights are on random now. I feel like jiggign, but I’d just thunder all over the place. I’m cloudbursting Daddy. Your sun’s coming out.

You told me last night you were a sun now, wiht your very own devoted satelite. Happy for you and I am sure that I hate you.

It’s funny quotign when I don’t have emotions either way anymore. clay rang today asking me to pick him up from Palmy on the way to Taupo and I told him it’d increase my journey to 8 hours and he felt all bad before i laughed and told him the truth. I rang Brad to rant when Home and Away wasn’t; on, then watched “Stars in Their Eyes”. Tonifgt, matthew, I’m going to be drunk Joanna.

Matthew Holloway, I tried emailing you today but it got returned to me. What’s your email addyt?

filler. That’s all.

Ahh well. I suspect Tom’s passed out somewhere. If I was a better person, I’d go see. hehehe I love emails telling me to go to bed. Thanks mum. Well, it wasn’t mum. But still. Kate bush is cool. “Uh OH” is loud. There’s a volume knob on this kmeyboard, hwewre’s that?

I heard breathign coming out of the toilet. Breathing = still alive, right? Sorry Mum & Dad.

I just had to sweep up cat biscuits in the kitchen. Sorry Pixie!

Drunk bys are so so silly. Man, I gotta find someone that has as good a drinking capacity as me. He’s drinking out of a cocoa container right now, because my parents have a shortage of plastic vessels, but I haven’t got the heart to tell him.

Muhahaha. Hehehehe. Heh.

My eyes hurt, so I probably should go to bed sometime. I’m in Wellington. We have a massive looming Xmas tree and funny lights. There are big parcels for me under it which I have fondled and am still confused by. The house is all clean. It’s cool.

I had SUCH a nice drive down today, all lovely sunshine and little traffic. I sang and smiled, young, fabulous and free. I listened to Kiss FM for 2 hours whilst in the Taupo vicinity because Jarrod was dj’ing on it. Innnnnnteresting music selection going on there, Fur Patrol one minue and Meatloaf the next. Oh and speaking of Fur Patrol, how fucking cool is it that they’re the Xmas number one in NZ? So fucking cool. The Xmas number one in the UK is probably “Bob the Builder” which I heard on the simulcast of Top of the Pops somewhere in the Manawatu. Eminemem played “Stan” on Top of the Pops as well, but he was strangely cut off before the last two verses. What a suprise.

My father’s trying to tell me that Robbie Williams is gay. As if.

I got a text message today from an unknown number saying “Are your nipples errect?” . I was a little confused, but unsuprised. When I rang the number back, the answering machine said it was Kate, and later i talked to the Bentons to confirm that it was indeed Kate B. So I sent her back a message that said “yes and I’m all wet and ready for you”. She hasn’t replied.

My cat Pixie is sitting on top of the largest present for me. It’s a bigass box, but I bet it’s just a cd with a lot of newspaper around it. I love Xmas pressies. I have to go shopping tomorrow though, which will be a mare.

Simon’s not answering his phone. We still have nowhere to stay in Taupo. No room at the Inn. I guess I’ll just give birth in a manger instead. Hayley never knows who I am when I phone her. Brad rang me today to ask where the axe is. He also emailed me some addresses for home&away related sites. I like this one – http://www.alfstewart.cjb.net/. Stone the flamin’ crows, Ails, you build a website and then those bloody yahoos come in with their caps on backwards and just smash the place up.

My belly hurts too. I should go, although it’s been great having a yarn with you. Oh wait hang on, what are you getting me for Xmas? This is what I would like:

• A nokia 3210/3310
• Bed linen! Queen size duvet covers, and make sure they’re pretty
• Makeup – ‘Juliet’ coloured Poppy eyeshadow, or anything Napolean, or any kinda lip gloss at all
• Money or vouchers
• CDs: ‘Kid A’ Radiohead, ‘Pet’ Fur Patrol or ‘The Altruist’ (or is it ‘Altruism’?) DLT.
• Lamps, pillows and candles (I wanna live in a harem)
• Alcohmahol or illict substances
• Art works – not movie posters
• Handbags (cos you can never have enough)
• a digital camera
• a cd burner
• a trip to Melbourne/Sydney

Thank you. I will give you my postal address on request. Oh and one last thing – my sister Karen wrote this tonight.

Me (in bear mask)”roaaaaar!” Kara: “eeek!” Me:”Sorry, I didn’t mean to score you. I mean, scare you”

Just briefly, before I go stick my head over a bowl of boiling water and vicks vapour rub:

Bad:
Getting to tech to find out that you put your underwear on inside out because you were so tired and sick that morning when you put it on, wrist pain, neck pain, back pain, dry mouth despite having drunk literal litres of water, not eating 5PLUS today, Kate B going away soon, not having had a single piece of personal email today, still being awake at 5am today, the guy pacing at the bus stop tonight, Static being off air all day, probably not being able to camp over at Kate H’s goodbye party on account of being sick, Leigh refusing to marry me to spark a ratings crossover, only having five days of stress left, not being able to fit in a Casino Night before I go away, how much I’m looking forward to getting drunk next Wednesday night, one of the boys i had a mini crush on having already moved out of Auckland, dumbass grad dips calling each other unproffesional over the class email list, still not having changed my sheets

Good
Clean towels, getting clicked, PJ Harvey, giving Nigel my Welly # (although I think I actually wrote my auck one by mistake) so we can hook up in Welly and go to Barney’s, my brilliant glossary indexy idea in my Phone project, finishing my Phone project with ten minutes of labs still being open to spare tonight, coming home to find Justin and Maree over, sandwichs in the company of Kate H and Bradley earlier today, Brad having an Alex Lloyd cd now, Anji arriving in the country today, Olivia (full stop), the satisfaction of knowing I did ALL the Phone project instead of taking shortcuts, planning what I’d do on a large salary, Justin giving me exciting ideas about the job future, telling Clayton off for buying condoms (“Son, I think it’s about time we had a little chat), having finished my Special Technological Challenge Report, getting to deliver a seminar tomorrow (look at me, look at how in control I am), my sneakers cos I feel so athletic in them that I jumped over obstacles today, Song Association, Brad filling me in on the past couple’o Home&Aways and us making a date to watch TV together next week, managing to restrain myself from singing along really really loudly to A Life Less Ordinary in the lab today, accidently opening up thousands of porn windows on Joe Fisher’s Internet account at tech today while looking for pictures of a body builder, taking photos on the digital camera of myself for our broadcasting project going “just one more” until Trevor reminded me that we only had a half hour of tape, dreaming that Kini was being courted by a guy dressed as a peanut m&m

“You got nipple licking? I’m so jealous!”

Monday August 28th, 2000

Brad wrote on the whiteboard this morning “You did it all for the nookie!!! – did he sign a pre-nup first?” I voted against him for that, and then gave myself a vote too for good measure. There’s something very sordid about still being up drinking when flatmates get up to go to tech.

Around 8am, I got out of bed and went and jumped in bed with Kate, but she was just getting up so I couldn’t sleep there. Instead, I ate m&ms while she smoked her morning cigarette, and freaked her out because I’d had no sleep and was on an over-tired sugar rush, whereas she was very slow and fragile. She made me come to town with her in my pajamas, after I crept into my room for sunglasses and a bandana. I just sat in the car so she could doublepark to drop off her library books though, it wasn’t a major journey. Then we came home and she went back to bed – they were desk copy books so she had to have them back early. I was sugarhigh, so I washed the dishes and then flicked between infomercials and children’s television. It was kinda disturbing, because I found myself talking to the television more than I usually do – “yeah, it’s always a real pain for me having to push the bristle button on the vacuum cleaner” and of course agreeing with the monsters on Seaseme Street. I’m not a morning person. But it was fantastic to get to watch re-runs of Shortland Street.

Mmm, new placebo album.

Eventually I got bored with housework, so I went back to my room and turned my stereo on real loud and kicked someone out for not believing me when I said that I was going to marry Robbie Williams. Then I did some fun exciting tech work. I have to go in at 8am tomorrow, which will be so unfun. Kate’s got to do her seminar then as well so at least I won’t be alone. I think I will sleep very well tonight, guilt aside, although I did have a luscious nap this afternoon after eating Wendys. Mmmm hangover food.

Oh, it looks like Kara AND Kate M are both staying over tonight. Honestly, where have the collective morals of this flat gone? I mean, we endevour to eat more vegetables and spend quality time with each other, but I don’t think that’s enough, eh. Somehow I’m making the invites for Trudie’s 21st now as well. Well, not “somehow” – I know exactly how it happened – she asked and I said yes. I guess it’s all experience. I’m supposed to be doing a webpage for Momma, once she gets around to getting her content in order. I had this really horrible dream the other night that I had some kind of weird Cot Death kinda condition going on that meant I could die at any minute. Mum and Neil were going to take me to the hospital, but I stopped to shave my legs first. I was wearing my orange static tshirt and a green skirt, which just wasn’t a good look. But I was really glad that I had a chance to say goodbye to Neil before I went. I woke up before I got to the hospital, so I guess I’ll never know if I would have died or not. Hopefully not, cos dying in your dreams is some horrible shit right there.

You know, talking to Brad today, it occured to me that this isn’t my journal anymore. It’s ceased to be about me, and is now basically entirely about the Garland Gang as a whole. That’s okay though, I can just keep me inside my head instead. <!– and most of the time I seem so nasty that that’s probably the best place for me –> Hmmm, I just set my alarm for 6am, so that I can make it into town by 8am (I get out of bed and reset it for another half hour of sleep or so, and then maybe another half hour). That scares me muchly. I’m very not a morning person. Good England there, Joanna. When Kate and I were watching Rikki today (“My first interracial date”) I kept yelling at ads for using incomplete sentences. I think I’m wasted in my chosen field, eh. I should go work in some private British school, where I get to yell at children all day long and cane them for doing wrong. I should be somewhere very far away from all the crappy television I watch anyways. Although it was the wedding episode on Home and Away today, and didn’t Sally just look lovely? Lay one on me, Steveo!

I tripped over Kate’s real solid cloglike shoes before, and managed to knock them up so that they wacked me on that strange bone that sticks out of your ankle. Oww, oww oww oww! There’s a visable bruise from that now.