Hubris.co.nz

Tuesday September 17th, 2002

1. Oh really, Crushmaster? Someone has just all of a sudden developed a crush on me using “ae” before my domain name? and “gs”? Really? Oh, silly me.
2. When the fuck did I originally design this page if I just used “indigo” as a BGCOLOR instead’o a sexi-hexi decimal number?
3. Am I going to be sick tomorrow? I guess I am, right?
4. One of them had better have been sober-driving it home, or I will be SO mad.
4. I’m sure you knwo me well enough by now to click as to why i haven’t written in ages, if I haven’t written in ages.
5. Bo+Clay+Me flatdinners kick some ass.
6. I don’t think I’ll go to quiznight anymore – I think that ship has sailed. Plus, I have a supershort attention span, and oh yeah, I dunno. Some rant about pointless semi-rockstar semi-crushes etc etc. He’s still real cute though.
7. Clay and I, staggerign up the street, punchdrunk on $50′o liquor with just KateM and Nigel, and he stops to look at some guy, and I figure he’s just angling for a fight cos I thought the other guy bumped him, and I’m like all, oh no, BUT! BUT! It was goddam LEYTON. You know, the first flatmate that I ever kicked out, cos he wasn’t a team player and I wanted Brad to move in.
8. Brad McCormick, calling me on my cellie from work in Whakacarnie after I txted him going “OH MY GOD THE DRAMA” cos he knew I was talking H&A (I love our psychic bond) and he wanted a full description. Oh Kirsty and Kane, when will you find happiness together?
9. I really want to smoke pot with you RIGHT NOW, even if it means that you don’t end up talking at all after that.
10. Should I try and hold out for 32 points?
11. I had a big talk with Joseph today, and feel much better about my PR Practice paper now, even if we probably did quite badly in our report (oh, sorry Haley, I should email you, but to be perfectly honest, I’m more than a little squiffy right now, and I do have semi-proposal type things to write and send you, and then I’ll email you. Oh, that’s not like a “will you marry me?” thing, just in case the audience as a whole didn’t get thta).
12. I’m still loving my haircut and the other Hayley (with two y’s, not one) by default as well.
13. Who was teh fucking mongrel that listed me on crushmaster in the first place? No one has crushes on me. At best, you’d like to put your penis in me for a little while, in one way or another, or just engage me in witty conversation. I know the score, chief.
14. Welly and some valuable chillout alone time tomorrow, yay!

Wednesday July 28th, 1999

Man, I am soooooooo tired, like keeling over in my seat. I just spent an hour making Kumara Gnoochi with Roast Tomato Sauce. So go figure. Oh yes, AND I spent a motherfucking whole fucking hour and more on the bus coming home from tech today. And before that I spent like 50 minutes on the bus coming home from tech. I came home in the middle of the day cos I had a four hour gap and nothing to do. I needed to nap, anyways.

Why did I need to nap? Well, quite apart from the fact that I’m ALWAYS ready for a nap, I’d had a bit of a rough morning. We went out for Kate’s birthday last night, you see. Drinks at her place, and then I shared a bottle of wine with Marisa at the restraunt. SPQR made me the most gorgeous gnoochi in the world, with bluecheese sauce and stuff – mmmmmm! I was initially really scared cos I got introduced to a guy called John, who looks just like Kate’s dad, and because her boyfriend’s named John, I thought that was him. But luckily Amber put me straight, so I didn’t have to worry for Kate. Well, not too much, anyways.

Kate passed on information I’d told her in confidence so we ended up having a huge big discussion all the way down one half of the big table about that, which was actually quite amusing. Her friends were all really cool, especially Bailey who I kept thinking was named Britteny. Oh yeah, and Marisa and Theresa rock my boat, too.

So yes, it was all very good. Kate and I had tremendous reminiscings at her place while we were drinking beforehand. We used to be really nasty to each other. She told me I’d once put her off her favourite dress by saying it was ugly, and not good enough to wear to my birthday party. Meanwhile, she told me I had a big nose and fat lips. And yet, despite all that, we’ve been friends 14 years. Kodak Moment!

Anyways, as a consequence of last night, I was really dizzy today. Plus I have a sore throat coming on, which sucks.

I learnt HTML today. Man, I’m so proud. I’d show you my efforts but they’re on the network at tech. But stick around man, cos BOY, they’re worthwhile!

Also worth noting was that I talked to last year’s Eye Candy today, which is always cool.

Thursday the 17th of December

So today, everyone’s favourite American President is killing civillians because he doesn’t want to be impeached. Don’t even TRY and tell me it’s a coincidence. I voted for him in the mock elections we held at school back in Seventh grade – yeah, like I’d choose Ross Perot or Bush. I didn’t think that having an affair would in any way make him not be a good president – unless he’s going to declare war like this to get the heat off himself. The thing is, I’m not an Iraqi, and I’m not American, so whatever’s going on ovre there really shouldn’t concern me too much, but it does.

UI moved to Japan right after the Gulf War, into an American based society. I didn’t really think the war was such a big deal, because I was only 10, and all I knew about it was the odd headline or 20 from the Evening Post, and those fireworks images from CNN, that TV One piped in especially. In Japan however, apparently there were major threats of terrorism, so much so that the school buses had the “American School In Japan” logo taken off them, and students were told to tell everyone they were Canadian. It’s a fucked up world we live in. Then at 2.30am today, just before I went to bed (yeah okay, I’m writing this entry the day after) I thought I heard the distant roar of air-raid sirens, but figured there was nothing I could do anyways.

Why the hell am I talking about all this crap? There’s so much today that’s my own life that I could talk about. It’s December 17th. Those of you that know me will know why I’m moping. Those that don’t can hang on for it while I get through my basic day.

I worked two hours at my aunt Leonie’s house this morning. I did some typing for her (her keyboard was too clacky, so I made so many hidi errors, not like on this speedy wee baby) made some changes to her address database, and started cateloguing her collection of Japanese books that she bought off my grandfather’s collection (other side of the family)for her Nakano group. All terrific fun of course. Luckily I’m getting paid $10 an hour cash.

That was probably about as ragey as I got all day. I spent a lot of time revamping my website, trying to use Dreamweaver. For those of you who didn’t spot it, there’s now an extra table of contents. And there’s a couple of new sections too, maybe. I spent ages trying to get rollovers to work. They worked first time when i was just playing,but now I want them they don’t. Ain’t that just typical? That’s okay, cos apart from hurting my wrist, it also managed to keep my thoughts off other things. I guess I should probably explain, huh? This day last year is when I lost my heart. And my head too.

I guess it sort of serves me right, cos I’d mainly started talking to him cos he was always so flirty in the room, and that made another guy I knew jealous, which is always fun. It got to the stage that I was talking almost exclusivly to him on IRC – I stopped going in rooms, and only messaged my girlfriends to tell them things he’d said to me. I was so fully smitten, I guess because people told me that he had a crush on me, and we were labeled as a couple even though we weren’t. The week before, on the 10th I’d gotten heinously drunk at my friend Amy’s house, and had come on IRC going “I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooveeeeeeeeeee you” (I only know this from reading logs of it) which was just disgusting. I managed to get away with that though, by blaming it on Amy and Fiona. But yeah, back the 17th. I was up late chatting to him, and talking to Andee too, when he made some sort of comment about how I didn’t want him to say that he loved me until we’d met. I started crying, being the sap that I am, thinking there was no way he could mean that in the way I wanted him to, but when I finally got up the courage to ask him about it like an hour later, it turned out that yes, he did have a crush on me. There was no way in hell that either of us wanted to have an internet relationship, so we were going to wait till we met at the Gathering (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah you say, more pieces falling into place) to see what the story was. I stayed up all night talking to him then, only leaving because my dad was getting up in ten minutes. It was the most amazing glowing feeling, despite the fact that it was obviously a doomed situation. I’ve never had someone like me mutually before. The whole next day was bathed in gold. I couldn’t stop smiling. He made me the most gorgeous site for Xmas, with this picture on it that he made – featuring the glowing orb of the sunrise we saw together in different cities. Sigh. So sappy.

Of course, in the two weeks leading up to the Gathering, we had a big really stupid fight, and he also revealed that he was still in love with his ex, but aaaah well. There was still enough there for me to be scared shitless of meeting him. So yeah, and then he thought there was no spark, but he still came to stay with me, and I fell head over heels in love with him, and he just didn’t care. Maybe I should post the letter I wrote him. At the time, it was so important and special to me, but that WAS a year ago. I just like telling stories which is why you’re all hearing about this now. That and well – he is still sort of in my head, just because I still feel like it’s last year sort of, because I’m on holiday again. That’s okay though. It can be fun reminiscing. To quote myself:

Replaying the past is like having all these good (and bad) movies to watch, that you don’t have to go to the shop to rent so they’re heaps cheaper and slightly more interactive

Saturday the 12th of December

A funny thing happened last night. I was talking on ICQ chat to this guy, and my friend Brad from tech was at his house. Ho ho ho. No wait, that’s not the whole story! Come back!

So yeah. Anyways, Brad wanted a demonstration of what cyber was, and so I gave them a few lines – hey, i don’t do it, but I’ve got a great imagination! Kamahl was like “more importantly, is this how YOU like it?” so I was like “I should have sent you my erotic story after all, shouldn’t I?” and against my better judgements, they talked me into it. Hell, the story used to be on my old homepage anyways. So they sat there reading through it, while I was pissing myself, cos I knew what it’s about. I think it musta shocked the shit out of them. It’s a bit naughty – I’ve had so much fun with that story and morons off IRC – it’s my porn content. Anyways, they came back and were like “what on earth possessed you to write that?” I was like “autobiography”. HAHAHAHAHa. I think that’s like a thousand times more information about me than they’ll ever want to know. If you’re going to go and read that story, which no doubt you are now, be warned. Content may inspire nasty visuals.

I slept in until 2pm today, having very disturbing dreams. At one stage, my dad, Karen and I were building an nuclear bomb shelter in my room downstairs, not expecting to live past 9pm. That was kinda sad, and the dream was really scary, especially with like gail force winds screaming around my house at the time. I also dreamt I borrowed this amazing dress off Andee, made entirely out of Yellow daisies. It was fantastic. Then I was like Buffy or something, trying to solve this mystery, and this giant catipillar ate my friend, but it spat him out, because he was too fluffy. My friend was a smaller catipillar, that looked like a purple magic duster. By that stage, I was a catipillar too. I always get really weird dreams, for about a week, right before I get my period – if I can claim to be that regular. Which I can’t. Anyways, my point is that my journals over the next couple of days will probably be filled with dreams, so bear with me.

What else? Ummmm, I think I’m getting more involved with Vision, which is cool. I am so in awe at some of the people in it. I can’t quite understand why the fuck I got in, because I know sweetfuckall about html and all that funky shit. Ah well. Maybe I got in under a quota of ignorant people or something. It’s fun cos it means more people to talk to on ICQ, now that IRC is empty and boring. So yeah, rock on.

Tonight I went to see “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels” at the Paramount with Anji. Loved it, love the theatre, love her. It was so funny. I just hate the way it’s been billed as “Tarantino meets Trainspotting”, even if that’s an accurate description. Can’t people come up with anything new these days? The main guy in it was really studdly too. Mmmmmm. And all of them had accents. Terriffic shit. After we went and sat in Axolotl, with a whole bunch of offduty staff. It’s everyone’s second home. Tommorrow is the staff Xmas party, and they’re having it on a yacht. Rock on!

I’m going to go now, cos tommorrow I’m Xmas shopping with Momma. Don’t forget to send me my pressies – if you don’t have my address, send them to: Joanna McLeod c/o The Bakehouse Gallery, Swan Lane, Wellington. Ta muchly!

xoxox