Sunday the 14th of July, two thousand and two

I had a really random day yesterday, it was strange, but ended well, so all’s well that ends well, really. I have now managed to shake my bad mood, thanks probably entirely to the divine Ms. Hamlin (KATEH! heh). So yeah, day yesterday:

In the afternoon, after doing not much in the morning, I popped around to see KateM on my way to the supermarket, and made her get up. How cruel of me – it was only 3.45pm after all! And then I went to the supermarket, and found that Grower’s World has shut down or something, and it was all abandoned and I couldn’t get veges. Then there was a busker outside’o Foodtown playing a very bad rendition of “Lover, you should have come over” which made me remember a girl who mostly doesn’t remember me now, but it still made me smile. And then I laughed on the inside at the enchilladas in the deli case, until I worried that maybe people were giving me strange looks. It was so hot in the supermarket that I started spacing out, and I felt all funny, so as soon as I got home I shut myself up in my room so that I wouldn’t have to talk to Clayton. But later, I was out in the lounge, getting ready to watch The Goonies, and he came along and gave me big hugs and said I was a great person for putting away the dishes, and that he’d been feeling Meh too, so it was a nice bonding moment. I flicked through our flat bible, where random people write random things, and discovered that KateB generally writes “Snapshot Memories” in it the day after I’ve scored, so there were some interesting regressions. But I guess it makes sense, cos we’d be hungover and lying around unable to move, swapping stories, and that’s when she’s most likely to write. Anyways. At the back’o the Bible, there was a list of Dorks begun in early 2000, and also a list of people we give props to. The dorks included people like Dawson, and Brad’s old boss, and the girl who’d been grumpy in Global Sandwich, and the list of people we gave props to were generally flavour’o the moment celebrities, but also included on the list was Jason, which made me laugh cos obviously I’d had a crush on him when I first met him way back then. And if you know anything about the inner workings of our social circle, you’d find it funny too (Hi Jason, if you’re still reading).

Anyways, so yeah, like I said, weird things were amusing me, despite an overall feeling of Meh. I got to watch the Goonies though, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never stop loving Corey Feldman. Is it wrong to fancy a 14 year old boy? I’ve managed to outgrow finding Eddie Furlong in T2 attractive, but Corey is my forever. Then I was going to watch The Skulls, but luckily KateH rang and said that her plans had changed and did I feel like going out? Hmmmm… let’s see. So needless to say that I met up with her 20 minutes later. I wore a tiara out, because I am after all a princess, and I haven’t worn my tiara in a very long time. I met her at Caravan Serai where she was having dinner with her Disney friends, who are also in my class at school. They used the word “random” an awful lot, which was random to me since I was having a random day, and and and. Oh you get the picture. They went off to Globe, but Katie told me that i’d hate it, so we went to Deschlers instead, where we drank devine cocktails. Brad joined us a couple of hours later, which was very cool. I was talking about my pants, and he said they looked good on me, and just as I was about to go “aww thanks” he said “they’d look better on my floor in Whakatane” which I’d actually scripted for him in emails discussing me going down to visit him. Ha HA Hilarious. We bumped in Jason and Hamish which made me giggle quietly on the inside as well, cos’o the whole bible thing, and cos Hamish asked me if I was still hanging out at his old flat. And I got to meet Luke Casey and shake his hand! That was pretty exciting. Then Brad dropped me home and I found myself watching an Adam Sandler movie and actually laughing lots and lots, so maybe I was drunker than I thought. It was a really good night though, and it very much lifted my spirits.

Today I got up before noon to make sure I was clean and dressed by the time Maree and Brad showed up to see my rug. I gave Mazzy a copy of the last ever edition of the Evening Post, and also a first edition of the Dominion Post, and we went for ‘brunch’ at Box House. We sat outside cos it was sunny, but four hours later, my legs are still numb from the cold. Good food though. And then we went to Hamlin’s for Dawson’s, which was really boring. Yeah. Now I’m home, and I might find a duvet and watch The Breakfast Club, if our TV decides to be in colour, otherwise I will take Haruki Murakami to bed with me and be disappointed 20 times over cos I never like his endings and this is a book of short stories.

Also, i just noticed that my last webcam photo is of me with my mouth really really wide open cos I was belting out the dirty words in ‘Stagger Lee’ last night. Lovely.

Wednesday, June 11th

Repeat after me: free stuff is good. Awhile ago, Clayton got a postcard in the mail inviting him to the preview of ‘About a Boy’ (you know, Nick Hornby & Hugh Grant type thing etc etc) which promised food and liquor before hand as well. Clay wasn’t home at the time, so I texted him with the hypothetical question “Hey, if you should ever get free tickets to ‘About a Boy’ would you take me?” and of course, he stupidly said yes he would, so I presented him with the card when he got home. Ha. It made me laugh a lot at the time, because just the day before, i’d explained to him that generally when girls ask for things, they already know if it’s possible or not (ie: “Clay, can I borrow a half a tomato?” “Sure, there’s one in the fridge” “yes I know, that’s why I want to borrow it” etc). So anyways, that movie was today.

But if we want to veer back in time, we’ll start at the start of my day, which was some time after noon, because my bed was just so damn comfy, and also I’d been up late talking on the phone to my Attention Seeking best friend in Chch (I swear, I’m so defensive lionness with cubs eh). I think it’s so important that there are people that i can say “I mango bleach” to and worry about The Hot Potato Syndrome and they know what I’m talking about. Plus our new insult for one another is “hey, stop attention seeking” which is funny if you know the context and potentially offensive if you’re the person I got it off, but hey it actually really offended me, so there. (And I think I tried to say that in person, but I’m always so much better at bitching about it after the fact). Anyways, so where was I? Oh yeah, day at home, doing housework. I cleaned my room! You can actually see all the concrete now, which is not necessarily a good thing. And I divided my notes up into their three topics, which is half way to starting studying, isn’t it? I don’t have an exam for a week though. Blah blah.

Around 5, Clay and I walked to Newmarket for the movie thing. He mentioned that Kara would probably be really pissed off that he’d taken me and I chuckled more that was polite but oh well. Then my arch on my right foot got really really sore, so I guess that was my punishment. The free food and liquor was at Lonestar, and there were masses and masses of people so it took ages to get a drink, meaning Clay and I only managed three each in the 45 minutes that we were there. The food consisted mostly of tortillas and dip. Waiters kept walking past with plates of ribs which we wanted, but they got put on other tables and we couldn’t be bothered getting up. Some nice ladies came along and tried to pick up Clay, and he felt all special cos he knew lots of people there from his work. I should stop laughing at him so much. The theatre was also really full so we had to sit too close, but the movie was really good. Hugh Grant is getting hotter as he gets older, which is disturbing, and the kid was so cute! I want a 12 year old son. (hmm, i should have been more sexually active in 1990 and not been concentrating on getting Mum to buy me Subway shoes and a peace necklace I guess).

After the movie, we went and got Burger King, which I instantly regretted and took a bus home. Bops and Leo were sitting in the lounge patiently suffering through Buffy because I was taping it (hey man, she’s coming back from the dead!) but as soon as it was over, Clay watched the soccer that he’d taped and I made lots of phonecalls to arrange my birthday dinner. I wanted to have it at Saigon, but they’re shut on Mondays so I’m having it at a Turkish place instead. Then I rang around trying to organise my friends, most of whom didn’t answer their phones – kate & kate, I’m looking at you here. I did manage to get aholdo Justin, who said he might come, and then we talked about Brand JK reliability, which is amusing. It’s where I do most of my shopping – so I put in a pre-order as well. Ha, fuck I’m terrible. And boring.

I put the wrong link in to my birthday wishlist last night, but it just occured to me that i have to say “Hey, if you’re my friend, and you’ve had a birthday this year, and I have been to your celebration, I hope you haven’t bought me anything, because I didn’t buy you anything and I would feel (a little)bad”. See, I do have a conscience after all. Last night while I was lying in bed I realised that when work finally DOES pay me, it won’t be the one week’s salary I was expecting, it’ll be FOUR weeks, and that’s kinda really cool. OH MY GOD! THEY PAID ME! I HAVE A POSTIVE BANK BALANCE! I haven’t had one of those since i left Foodstuffs. I can pay the rent, AND the phonebill now. I can even have a good birthday, and I can buy KateH drinks tomorrow night when we go out (except that you try so hard to not talk to me about reading my journal, so you can’t ask for them so HA!). And I can ring up WINZ and cancel the $50 a week they lend me which they’ll be cancelling in a couple of weeks anyways cos I will no longer be doing enough papers to qualify as a full time student, although apparently there’s something else I can be wot says I still qualify. Sorry. It’s just really exciting.

And that’s about me for the night, eh. My neck really hurts from that damn sitting too close to the movie thing. Maybe I should have a hot bath. I wonder if that’d help me sleep. It’s funny taking herbal supplements to make me sleep because they completely relax out my body so that it feels really heavy and sinks into the mattress and I can hardly move but my mind is still going a trillion miles an hour. I’m due for a bleed in a couple of days, and I’d know that even if wasn’t for the diane35 packet telling me. Midcycle I get mad protein cravings, and then I get sleepless and my breasts get fuller and look glassy and probably in two days time I will be really really sad and cry at the drop of the hat. It’s so interesting (to me anyways) watching myself change. Go womanhood. I bet you’re all just holding your breath until I get pregnant or some mysterious wasting disease and I write about that in great length every single day. Not that I’m thinking that any of you would wish disease on me, of course (because hey, everyone loves me, right?).

I thought of a new look for Hubris that I wanna do, but I have exams and secret things and charity work and momma’s site (still) to do first. But then maybe there’ll be a logo! And tshirts! And merchandise! And branding! Perhaps.

Tuesday June 4th
So today I handed in my final assessment for Communication Strategy – that’s my last piece’o work due in before exams (June 20/24/25) so now I have some time to tackle a multitude of special secret projects that I have on the boil. Of course, tackling them would be a whole lot easier if I had a week of little to no computer work to give my wrist a good rest, so let’s try and do that, shall I? Excellent. About my essay – I handed it in without even reading it, I was that disgruntled. But it’s gone now, not worth worrying about. Apparently I only have to take two papers next semester, cos I can credit so many from my BCs, but I’m gonna take three anyways. Originally I was taking four, but I can’t do Campaigns – an advertising paper – because its lecture clashes with Corporate Communication.

You know how I’m a grad dip and in my year, we didn’t like the grad dips a lot of the time? Well, I think I get on pretty well with the BCs students, but there are some grad dips who just rub me so the wrong way, and it’s people like them who give people like me a bad name. I feel so old when I find myself saying “well, back in my year…”. Actually, I feel so old right now full stop<!– shagging sweet young things will do that to a girl, i guess! –>. I had a very amusing phone conversation with Anji tonight, and it appears that we’ve swapped age-tastes. My average age of men I scored was 28 (although admittedly both the astronaut and the microbiologist pushed that way up) and hers was 23, despite the fact that I’m 21 and she’s 29, but now it seems that we’re righting ourselves. Also, I’m going to be 22 in less than two weeks, so you should buy me things. But anyways, where was I before I went off on that tangent? Something about being at tech, and being dumb and taken by surprise and only managing to say a “hey, how are you?” and ending up being either a) the pathetic kind of person that I strive to avoid to be or b)the bitchy kinda person that I fight my natural inclination to be<!– I feel TERRIBLE now, I didn’t mean to snub him or anything, but I didn’t expect to see him so soon after. And I’ve been giving him an awful lot of headspace as well, which is vaguely interesting –>.  Oh well.  Justin laughed at me lots – “so it wasn’t a big deal then? had a long weekend did you?” I don’t gossip <!– much –> about the attributes of boys that I respect to their friends, thank you very much, Justin. But if we did, between me and that other young lady who will remain nameless, but she knows who she is, we’d have quite a thick dossier.

Bopha wouldn’t come out for a drink with me this afternoon after I handed in my essay (apparently 3pm is too early) so we settled on going to Roasted Addiquition instead. Nice food, but kinda expensive. We didn’t watch soccer today! Well, 20 minutes of the Japan-Belgium game, but that was all, and boy, that was a relief. Like, I do like soccer, but after three games yesterday (although I really only watched Brazil/Turkey because it was SO GOOD) and a couple of games the day before… I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have kicked Ben III out until after the World Cup, because Bopha is scarily addicted. We yell a lot. Also, occasionally she has taken to muttering “I want to cut off your limbs” to me, and she’s constantly jumping on me. It’s amusing.

That’s about it all, really. Boring day, I know, but thank god I got that assignment in and now I can concentrate on other stuff. Oh yeah, I was really really really hankering to go to Pluto tonight, but I couldn’t find anyone that I know well enough to be completely comfortable around to go with, and my mind was too mushy to go with someone I didn’t really know. So I just listened to the cd twice in a row instead. Fuck it’s an excellent cd, I appreciate it so much better now. And KatieH gave me a Pluto tshirt too. This is going to have to cause me to rethink my whole band tshirt philosophy (ie – I don’t wear them). But I guess the thing is now I’m actually a grownup and not a little punk kid trying her darndest to be alternative. If someone gave me a spice girls tshirt and it fit properly, I’d wear it now. Plus this Pluto tshirt is a bonds shirt, and therefore I have more than Brad, so I gotta wear it.

June 1 – Saturday

In three hours, I will be watching Pluto, and in six hours, I will be bowing down in awe at the feet of the mighty Pacifier/Shihad. !. !!!!. Bow down to me.

I’m just hoping that by that stage, I won’t be feeling so hungover. When did I last write? Probably a couple of days ago I guess. I’m feeling much better. It’s amazing how destressing work is, I guess becasue I know what I’m supposed to do, and it’s like Problem to Solution, easy as pie. And that’s very different from trying to tell someone what they should be doing in regards to their personal life. Yeah. Anyways,

So Thursday night there’s top secret meetings and secret plans and cool potential and stuff, and meeting a whole lot of new people, which is always interesting. I’m excited, I think. And when I got home, my KatieB showed up a little later, and that was completely lovely. It annoys me though that she’s been known to ring me up and scream blue murder at me very early in the morning for neglectign to tell her about a random kiss I received from a not-so random boy, but meanwhile, she’s been seeing someone for like six weeks without mentioning him once to me. You are an EVIL GIRL KATIE!

Friday was working, and I was trying to write an article, and of course I remembered that I just completely can’t remember how to write news articles anymore. But then Skew came back with lots of food he’d pilfed from a meeting, so that was nice. Oh yeah, I’ve thought of psuedonames for the three people I work with, and I’ll just have to keep remembering them. The kickass thing about work (well, one of the many things) is that I’m on a salary, rather than an hourly rate, and so whenever my work days fall on public holidays I just get paid for them regardless. Choice, especially since I work full days on mondays and half days on Fridays. Hmm, friday was yesterday, wasn’t it? Yes it was. So early last night, I got a txt from Justin saying he was down at Murphy’s drinking with Wayne Hope (Mass Com tutor) and I should go down and meet him and we’d proceed to JeremE’s birthday party from there. I decided that sounded like a good plan, so I got dressed, but then Kate told me my breasts looked weird and made me change my bra (and then she tells me I’m paranoid!) but eventually I got approval and she dropped me off at Murphy’s.

After I walked into Murphys and looked around for ages trying to find Justin, the bouncer came up to me and made me go back out to the front door to show him my ID. I thought that was more than a little unnecessary, but if it made him feel like a big man, then so be it! I managed to find Justin and sink some pints. There were more people who said that they’d met me before, and this time I actually managed to place them – “Oh, we talked on the stairs for ages, didn’t we?”. One day I am going to make myself flashcards to improve my name-face rememberence levels. Wayne Hope said he remembered me from two years ago, and I was like “I didn’t work very hard” and he was like “but you had charisma” and that made me laugh a lot, because really, drunken lecturers are funny. And a bunch of us (us being me and Justin and Justin’s friends) went to go get some food. They were madkeen on Nando’s, so we went to the Atrium on Elliot foodcourt but everything was just shutting, so no one got a very good meal. But hey. Then we cabbed it to Nick’s house in Ponsonby via Liquorking. I’m still really surprised at how nice Nick’s house was, and I told him so many times – “like, I’m not saying you’re all that scungy or anything, but I would have expected your house to be”. There was a bidet in the downstairs bathroom.

So yeah, lots of drinking sitting in Nick’s porch, and then Brad came along and drove us all to JeremE’s house. Brad kicks ass. We hung out and talked a lot. There was a dj and house music playing in the living room, and couches in the hall and stuff. I talked to people that I knew, but mostly to Brad and Hamish. It was a good atmosphere though. Eventually one of the boys that I’d been drinking with earlier came and sat next to me, ripping my skirt in the proccess, and since there was three of us on a two person couch, he put his arm around me and then when Brad left, I suddenly realised that he was giving me the eye, and that I was giving him the eye too, and I was a little surprised. But hey, I went with it, and when we thought no one was watching we kissed, and he invited me back to his house, promising me chocolate and a lock on his door. In keeping with the whole discreet attempts, he said he’d meet me on the street, and left, so I left a couple of minutes later. There’s me trying to keep a straight face telling Brad and Justin that I was really tired and going to leave. I couldn’t figure out if they were clued to me or not, cos I would have thought Justin would have said something (or asked for a percentage) but hey, whatever. And so I met the boy on the driveway and made out against a car with him (classy!) before our taxi arrived.

He was a real sweetheart; he played Jeff Buckley and had an electric blanket and he called me gorgeous, and made me a chicken enchillada, so that was cool. He also put up with me making long cellphone calls to Tom and KateB because he was a nice boy. <!– SUCH a sweetie; he looked like the singer of Pluto, but Jesus, someone needs to teach him that hey, you know, maybe Foreplay would be a good idea! –>And as such, I left when he was sleeping and walked home – you know me and my _sleeping_ with people issues. KateB was fast asleep in my bed when I got home, so I pulled out hte couch in the lounge, watched Tool videos and had a very amusing conversation with KateM who was in Wellington.

Sometime in the middle of the night (okay, well it was 4am when I got home, so maybe 6amish?) I woke up and had absolutely no idea where I was – I knew i wasn’t in a boy’s house but it was the whole sleeping i the lounge thing that threw me off, so I ahd a minor freakout but it was okay. Around 10am KateB got up and climbed under my duvet with me and we spent a couple of hours with her bitching about house music, poking each other and screaming and squealing and laughing and giggling and it was awesome. Clayton’s psycho mother kept calling – why doesn’t that boy have ANY nice women in his life (me included)? Around 2ish, Kate and I went to Occam to meet Derek, who stood us up. On the way, we stopped by the boy’s house cos I was feeling a bit bad, and I put a note in his letterbox which said “Hey *! Thank you for the enchilladas and I hope I didn’t make you feel like a man-whore leaving while you were sleeping. You’re a total sweetheart, Jo”. No number or anything, cos it wasn’t that type’o deal.

Now I feel a little ill from the food and the hangover and stuff, so I will have a nap, and then go to True Colours in time for Pluto. I’m going by myself because I’m cool and secure. KateH will be there though, and hopefully I will see her. And anyways, I will see her tomorrow for sure because there’s a new series of Dawson’s Creek starting – wahoo! And then I will need to do my assignment. My arm is really really sore – I suspect it’s from carrying a dozen all the way from the liquor store to Nick’s house.

K, naptime now. I’m happy and bouncy today, and that’s cool. Also I should call Brad and apologise for not hanging with him very much. I feel a little stink for having left the party so early, but I guess sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. Also, don’t forget my birthday.

I guess any day that starts with a woman in rubber gloves painfully inserting things into you can only get better.

So yesterday, after I got home from the doctor’s (I only got a “down below” check as she put it, rather than blood taken for Hep C and HIV, not because I have a fear of needles – in fact, I freakishly kinda like watching my blood being taken – but just because) I went and took a nap, and I actually fell into a really really deep sleep. I put this down to the fact that I’ve been getting an average of 5 hours a night lately, which is not enough to sustain me. I know that it was a deep sleep because i had very very vivid dreams, that started with me inviting Dr. White home for a cup of tea because I thought she was lonely. I won’t go into all the details, but it ended up that there was a rave at my house, and then in the dream I woke up and thought it was all a dream and it went on and on and on. Yeah.

When I woke up for real though, I had such a sore throat, so I complained mightily about it to Clayt when he got home – “Claaaaaaaaay, my throat is sore! Claaaaaaay, my vagina is sooooooore! I’m supposed to go out tonight but I won’t be able to do ANYTHING like this waaaaah”. He sympathized with me as much as possible. Poor Clay; I’m sure he has daydreams about having a flatmate with a lower level of self disclosure. But anyways. Shirley came over from her last day of work, all bubbly and happy, bringing with her Lemsip for my throat and red wine to heal my other aching body bits, and KateH came over as well and we listened to excellent music and chatted. Eventually we rang the King’s Arms to see what order the bands were playing and they laughed at me for telling the bar man that he was a wonderful person when he went and asked for me.

We got in a taxi and went there and met up with KateH’s flatmate Karin (okay, maybe her name is spelt Karen – i’m not sure, but if I call her Karen then you might get confused with my sister, so I’m damn well gonna call her Karin and if you have a problem with that, well that’s just too damn bad). We sat in the garden while Handsome Geoffry were playing, because of course we were really there to see The Heavy Jones Trio. Mmmmmmmmm I’ve got such a rockstar crush. Kelly’s just so completely adorable and he was doing a little sideways kick thing instead of the knee jiggle, and it was just so endearing, like a little puppy. Oh that voice and that soul! I don’t think I have any interest in meeting him because that just wouldn’t be the same. Plus, as I said to Annabel, I’m far cooler on screen than in real life (and this is where my detractors say “but you’re not at all cool onscreen” and where i say back “then why are you reading me?”). Golden Horse afterwards were good too, but by that stage I was too busy laughing at the very camp guy hitting on Shirley.

After the Kings Arms, we taxied to Lovely Paul’s house, where there was supposed to be a party, but we just found them all watching David Blane Magician videos being completly in awe. Justin rang my cellie then, and told me he was at a party around the corner from my house, where I’d been to a party before after my 21st adn they’d told me they were Norwegian porn stars, so Shirley and I got yet another taxi and went over there. The party was actually one house up from the Norwegian Porn Star House, which just meant that I’ve got around more of my street, which is excellent. It took ages to find out who actually lived there, but that was alright, cos when I did meet him, he was very nice and also very cute, and he’s gonna come to our next party. Brilliant. Also in attendence at the party were KateM, and Jason (oh look, adreniline rush!) and JeremE <!– oh my god he has a billion dollar smile when he saw me –>which was cool, so I met lots of new people who were all very nice, even if there was one guy who was off on some tangent about something to do with chickens that I couldn’t follow. For a while I felt a little 15 again, off giggling in a corner with Shirley and KateM cos they hadn’t seen each other in ages. But then I smoked a lot of pot, and it was cool. Shirley left around 1amish, since we were right around the corner from my house so I gave her the key and she went and slept in Clay’s room. I stayed til some time after 4, cos it was all peaceful and mellow, sitting around laughing and listening to PJ Harvey for ages and ages. So that was cool.

I had an excellent excellent sleep which makes me think that i really should smoke pot more often perhaps, and then Shirley woke me some time around 7am to say goodbye. I went back to sleep until KateM rang me for a gossip and catch up. She told me that she’d spent hours that night talking to the boy I fancy, alternating between praising me to the high heavans and warning him not to treat me badly and saying it was all or nothing. Awww, how sweet of her! She apologised cos she said maybe she’d been a little over the top. I know a huge part of it was residual frustration from a couple’o years ago when everyone wanted to yell at a particular person but I asked them all not to cos the repercussions just wouldn’t have been worth it. And so far today all that I’ve done was start to watch “Enemy at the Gates” but it seemed too gruelling, even for Jude Law and what is apparently one of the best onscreen sex scenes. So I’ll go watch “The End of the Affair” now and see if I can find someone to go out to dinner with.

It’s back to the good old student tradition again whereby you have to miss all your actual lectures to stay at home and write your essays. I mean sure, there are probably more efficient ways for me to work, but i DO have to have frequent breaks. I didn’t do all that posture studying and physiotherapy for nothing, you know. Of course, the stress of the essay exagerates the pain and ache. Arrgh.

I offered Clay $5 to finish my essay for me and he just laughed at me so I offered him head and he said “now you’re speaking my language”. And yet I’m still writing my own essay. I think right now I’d probably give head for a really good arm and back and shoulder and neck massage. I’m worried that I’m going to have too many words and not enough source material for my essay. I’m also worried that amybe I haven’t completely understood the question, so I really should have been one of those typical horrible ‘mature’ students who sit at the front and ask a million fucking annoying questions until someone at the back of the lecture hisses “shut up!” because at least then I’d know that I was on the right track. But I dunno. I’m counting on the fact that my lecturer looks like the guy on the Wendys ads (the NZ Dave, not the dead one) and the fact that Wendys cures my hangovers and somehow those two facts will connect and result in me getting an A.

Eventually after I’d been working so hard I rewarded myself with a really loud orgasm cos it’s fun to be noisy sometimes and plus I thought I was home alone, but then when I went out of my room, Kara was sitting at Clayton’s desk pretending to be studying. She was embarrassed; I wasn’t. Later she asked me how I was and I said “really really excellent thanks” and smiled at her and she blushed. I was annoyed that he’d obviously left a key out for her though, or that she’d climbed in his window. It’d be nice if my house was just for me.

This evening I was watching ‘The Strip’ and feeling ill from eating too much Pad Thai with all the chilli flakes mixed in, when KateM rang my cellie. We yakked and yakked for ages and then I said “hang on, there’s someone at the door – it’s probably Kara again, grr”. So I grudgingly shifted my ass off the couch and found KateM herself standing on my doorstep, laughing her head off. I giggled a lot too. I like suprise visitors! You should all come up and see me some time. Well, assuming you know where I live, that is. And of course, just as long as you’re prepared to run the risk of me walking around the house pretending to be a Greek Goddess/beautiful movie star after a love scene.

Hmmm, when I was talking to Anji on the phone the other day she told me that her friend Gregor had been talking about me and said that he thought I was kinda strange because I’m very openly explicit in my conversation, and reading back through my journal entry today, maybe she’s right. I don’t really have any taboos, cos I figure if people don’t want me to talk about something, they shouldn’t bring it up. Anji said that she’d told him that if it intimidated him he should just tell me to shut up, but he said it was interesting. I guess I’m used to panda-ing to voyers (For example: Jason! we’re like, in the same circle but we’re not close, i find it really interesting that you’re reading me). I like pandas.

Right now I dunno if I should try and focus on my essay again, except I don’t think I’d be able to cos my arms are going numb, or try and sleep, except I drank coke today, or I could read. I wish Buffy reruns were on at 1am instead of 3am, it’d be so much better for me. I guess I have to make it in to my tutorial tomorrow cos our Com Strat is due. Jinan was supposed to be formatting it and doing it up all nice so I haven’t really got anything to worry about, except if she’s not there. I suddenly find myself full of Com Strat theory, which isn’t very helpful when it’s IMC essays that need to be done. Last night when I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t do my essay either I drafted up a Communication Strategy Plan as a semi joke for someone based on a conversation we’d had at lunch the day before. I kick ass. Really.

KateB’s proposed outfit for me to wear as her bridesmaid: “And I’ll make you wear a high necked, long sleeved apricot coloured crushed velvet minidress with a massive lime green lace bow on the arse, and baggy flesh coloured pantyhose, with white open toed “Kumfs” and a matching white velvet scrunchie for your hair. ” KateB kicks ass too, and so I’m waiting for her to give me the spanking that I apparently deserve.

Top’o the morning to you! To be sure, to be sure! You see, the ting is…KateMandIwentout to celebrate St Pats day today around 2.30pm. It’s only like 9.30pm now but I had to come home cos she had to go elsewhere<!– answering a booty call, no less –>. I’m full of baileys and guiness and doing easter eggs right now so I’m fairly content, especially since it means that Ican review how far I’ve come. Last St Patricks’, she said I was thepopular one, yet this yearit was her with the homeless people asking herfor kisses. Apparently I will be popular next year, we’re taking turns. Her friend Veggie Jason also came out with us (as opposed to ‘Hot Jason’) and so that was fun. Her and I got stick on tattoos from the barman that said “Kiss me,I’m Irish” so we had txting competitions, trying to send that message to more people, but we both peaked at 15 I think. Or was it that we each had 15 people starting with J in our phones? Something like that. KateM is a bad influence on me.

When did I last write? I suspect it was some time ago. Friday I braved insane traffic and lack’o parking at lunchtime to bring KateH Mercury plaza for her lunch, because I love her that much and also because I’ve behaved badly towards her lately and while that doesn’t make up for it, I’m all about tokenism. Later that evening I met up with her and Nicky and two of Nicky’s friends at D72 and we had dinner and fun and then a big drive around Mission Bay (“Nicky,are you taking me to a lookout point? are we going to make out?”). Then I went to the supermarket in Mt Eden for beer and C batteries (life’s essentials) and figured that since I was in her neighbourhood,I’d go see KateM. So I hung out with her and Elliot, and I ripped my skirt all the way across one of its panels. Damn fifty year old perishable Thai silk! So that sucked. Elliot tried to talk me into going out to dance to house music, but oh please. However, he did say that he’d go on boat tour’o the Ports’o Auckland with me, whichwas immensly pleasing since everyone else just laughs at me when I suggest it. Come on people, it’s FREE! So there. Anyways,eventually I had to go home cos i was falling asleep, and also because my skirt was so ripped.

On Saturday Shirley came over and we hung out and then Richard came over and we hung out some more. We’d intended to go dancing at bEd, but by that stage we were too ‘tired’ to actually move, so we had to give that one a miss. But still, it was nice to spend some quality time with her. Which brings us to Sunday, which is today, and which is where I started this journal entry.

Someone just sent me an AIM going “this sounds like a weird question but are you short?” I talked to them briefly but they kept saying “lol” so I started to ignore them. Lol my ass. OOOh, FINALLY I can get ahold of my Diane, so I will go and call him now and refuse to scan my nipples for him, on the grounds that my scanner isn’t working and I only offered to get his attention.

What’s that Joanna? What’s that grin all about? Ummm… kittens? Yeah, kittens. That works for me.

I catsat KateB’s little Mischa today. She’s SO CUTE. I can fit her in one hand. I took a photo of her too, hmm, where did it go?

There it went. So yeah, we played lots and she attacked my nose some. KateH came over for lunch and to see the Kitten so that was lovely.

Then KateB came around 4ish to pick up Mischa and she was a darling and did my dishes and cleaned my kitchen for me while I tried to tidy the lounge. I was supposed to go out for a drink with Jeremy E. then (that’s someone new, not the Jezza that I used to flat with) but instead we just stayed here and drank coffee and tea and smoked pot. It was nice <!– ha, are you looking for more information?  oh there’s plenty to give you –>. And Clay was home so he judged his shoes and everything which amused me. Flatmates are so not subtle about giving you the thumbs up. I also think that leaving your laptop behind is also not very subtle<!– especially when they’ve already said that they’re not giving back your tshirt ever so that you have to see them again – swoon –>.

Later, I went to KateH’s new flat to pick her up and bring her home to my house for ‘The Secret Life of Us’. It was a brilliant episode tonight with Will and Ritchie getting stoned. “Have you got any beer?” Me and Katie were pissing ourselves. Afterwards I took her home and discovered Justin and Jason and Jeremy and some other guy were all at her house with her flatmate, so I offered to drive the boys into town and what drunken louts they were. We also stopped off to pick up Lovely Paul, and got lost in a maze of one way Arch Hill sts. But that’s okay cos we got there eventually. So yeah. And now I’m at home and I’m bored and it’s sometime after midnight but I had a red bull and a coffee this afternoon so I’ll easily be up until the Buffy re-run at 3am. Excellent. And tomorrow is Waitangi Day so it might be time for me to think about sovereignty.

We;re in some bar douwn int he viaduct and there’s me making oi5rgasm noises not that I’d really know what ythey were because Briamn Molko is on the buig screen they were playing KJuice tv and oh my god how much do my panties melt at the site of him? Change your taste in men.

Boy I met last nightwas very very hot and then he said those goddam magic words “back when I was depressed” and I was like noooo I want so meone different. But hge aws still sexy, I imagine I will go stalk marbecks now. Thast qwas at dinner last night some thai place the Green Elephant w e went there for our big night out i remembre. But today is today and not then becuase yeah then was all differenyt and my toenail wasn’t broken then, and goddam I miss being in love but hey yeah ajnyways, stuff is fine this way I think and was I too obvious? I think not.

Ohb my god bbay it’s 3am i must be lonely oh fuck off maqtchbox 20, I am so un eloquent really but you are stil l reading me anyways. Clayton’s 212st was tonight,. I had soooo much fin. fuin. fun. IO was all grumpy and shit before hand. Ckay took my car. XClay took my stereo. I got basil garlic aioli all over my thai silk skiryt opn the way in and setting up. But I k nkiocked back a qwhole shitload of red whine. I HATE cklay’s relies. What a pack of bossy big dorks. wER HAD everythingm all set up and shit at the movie theatre he’d hired and they came and moved it all around. No wonder he’s so fucking pussywhipped, it’s not my fault that I boss him around.

there was a disco ball and that was fun. I slaved all day making mushroom pies and quiches. No hesitation no delay you come omn just like special k. Just like I swallowed half my stash. Lots to drink. Stuff was cool. I hadn’t seen maree in so long. Or shirley neither. Kate Benton told me I was having a good tit day. Clayton agreed. It’s so this tshirt. I love my stativc shirt,. I like my trits too. Tits, not trits. Oh god, I’m hideous, I should just og to bed but like, I’m niot sleepy. so ui will ramble, and you will read it. Suckers. you’re all pussy whipped too. Okay and Kate came into my room this morning ior was it yesterady, and said I smelt all nice like sleep. What’s up witht that? Where the fuck am I? this is SUCH a bad narrative.

Okay yueah, so I was all grumpyu this afternoon, especially when kate rang me at 6pm wanting rescuingb and I had to hgo pick her up even whenb we were supposed to be leaving at 6.15. And then in the process of getting to the theatre, the garlic basil dip got all over my skirt and oh my god was I giving everyone evil looks over that fuck I’m cold.

Talk about guilty conscience, although technically I didn’t do anything wrong. IUnless you count pyutting a shaker in my bag, but I don’t count that. UIt was from thej viaduct after all. At the back of the theaterette were a row of couches, and clay reserved those for us flatties and our signigicicant others (ie Morrison and Kara). I was sharing a couch with kate and a bottle of red whine. When I was in the bathroom, maree was talking tol me althouhgj U dunno how she knew it was me, so she came up and sat with us. But then I went and was throwing aup and I think she disappearefd. Human Traffic was the movie – it looked amusing except the chick looked like Tamsin gfrom Shortkland Street whicjh was just disturbing.

And then somehow Iwas at deschlers how did that happen? I don’t remember, butthere was live drum and base and simon w as dancing and ti was very amusing and stuff an do h my god was I really oh dear I worry me sometimes, and I talked to clayt’s frienmd Adrian who’s noce buit shy and also clay’s friemnd lucy who is a drunken slapper and his “friends’ romy and emily were there – nice look black bra dna white singlet fucking drunken sluts and they even called themselves that.

descblers became some walk downtownh after some big housekey scandel and i guess kate b let justin in after all unless he cli,mbed in our window whicjh would be easyt . some place downtown, was it providence? some name like that. $20 shakers, clay stole 4 shot glasses, I goty the shaker unbeknown to either one of us where hase si gone?: kate m dreove yus home. Providence had juice pla7ying on the big screen, but a different soundtrack. And yeah, we came home, and I was being tacky. Kate M was like “you’re on fire, we could ask you anything now and you’d amswer right? ” but the thing is I would anyways. Brad’s on lunch tomorrow, I hope it’s good.

I feel like a skanky slapper right now Only I am so muchb etter dressed. And my hair is better. As the flat would tease me, my hair is choice. a dn my nipples are amazing. etc etc. QWhy is it htat I let myslef be hassled so mch? I qwill keep my mouth shut in the fututre. Unless of course, I am having littl e black babies. That’s the rule kate m set for me.