Tag: leo


30 November, 2002

November 30th, 2002 — 3:23pm

I think I’m menopausal, cos I am full of hot flushes. Although the fact that I’m currently bleeding might suggest otherwise. Oh well.

Today I went to Rumba! It was hilarious, and also super choice because of the following reasons:

  • I went with Brad and Maree, both of whom I haven’t seen in far too long and both of whom I wish that I could see more of.
  • We got there in time to see Abs play, and he was funny, and needs to smoke less pot so that he can have more breath to sing/rap properly amongst all his dancing. And all the girls at the front chanted for him to take off his shirt, and he didn’t, and he did 5ive songs, which made us all Garland nostalgic.
  • Che Fu fucking rocked. He did lots of fat improvs rather than just playing his singles, which was choice. And his little kid was running all over the stage, and you know I’m a sucker for little brown babies.
  • During Che, I started to feel all funny, like I was dizzy, and then there were hot flushes running all over my body, and everything felt strange and my vision got a little blurry, and i started to freak out, suspecting htat I was having another acid flashback, but I just kept smiling, and reminded myself that it wasn’t that crowded, and maybe my vision was just funny from looking at the big screens and then the stage, thus fucking my depth’o perception, and that I was probably dehydrated, and eventually I remembered that cipramil does occasionally give me random dizzy spells anyways, so I calmed down some.
  • It was fabulous to see lots and lots of people getting down for Che, but the loudest cheering of the day was when they put a pashing couple up on the big screen, and all of Western Springs was roaring until the couple finally looked up and saw themselves and had the grace to laugh and clap.
  • (Sorry Katie but…)Natalie Imbruglia has almost as little charisma and presence and talent as Atomic Kitten. She was awful. We sat off to the side and ate mediocre food instead, laughing at people walking past, such as two girls who bumped into each other and they were both wearing the same top, and oh lordy did they give each other dirty looks.
  • Mazzy went home then cos she had to drive to Hamilton, and so me and Brad went to the main stadium bit again, and had long-trying-to-spot-KateH style cellphoneness, but eventually, we got to see her and say hi and get some goss, and hugs, and then she left, and we went into the crowd to see Bic Runga.
  • When she’d just started playing, I noticed a small cluster of little girls ahead of us all excitedly grouped around a guy who Brad said was the singer from Taxiride. They were takign his picture, and then some of them walked off with him – DODGY James Reid blowjob styles. Dirty dirty dirty.
  • Bic! Oh my god! Oh my god oh my god oh my god. She was AMAZING. Wow, she made it all look so easy. I am madly [in love with her now, and I gotta get her second album, and I thought maybe I could send it but no, and yeah, she was just fucking amazing and gorgeous and beautifl, and then Brad, who was wearing his glasses unlike me, pointed out that Milan was playing drums and singing backup vocals and I almost puddled right there on the grass. Wow. Yeah, go Bic.
  • We’d promised Bo that we’d watch Shaggy but since Pink canceled, we decided we’d leave on the high Bic note instead. I had a stupid big grin plastered over my face after all. And we’d got to complain lots about how we’d paid good money for this and then stop and go “oh wait a minute, we didn’t, oh ho ho ho, brilliant!”. Tom’s calling me a hep Auckland Socialite right now, and maybe he’s right, cos thinking about it, many’o my friends never pay for anything that they do cos it’s all about the connections. (Sometimes I say it’s all about the Benjamins Baby, but, well, that’s another story or four altogether isn’t it?)So yeah, that was brilliant, and then Brad and I came back here and I made more Sangria with Bo and Leo (last night we each bought a bottle of bad red wine cos it was only $5 adn this makes it far more drinkable) and got changed and chilled adn showed Brad bad 13 year old angsty stuff I’d uncovered in my room clean the other night (although that clean was kinda interupted when the lass that i pashed a couple’o weeks ago showed up with Bo and stood in my door and said “are those my shoes? oh no they’re yours” all bashful adn then ran away and I was like “????”) and then we went to Lumiere. I love Lumiere. I took back my drink cos it was flat, adn they gave me a fresh new one all politely so I can continue to recommend it. Mmmm Skky Vodka.

    What else? Oh, my therapist yelled at me yesterday! Yelled at me! Or rather, she shouted at me. It was funny, she said later she’d never ever done that before. The explanation for it is that I was talking about how I think the reason why I tend to hate having people stay with me for more than a night is that I constantly feel on edge, because I believe that people have an expectation of me that I’ll entertain them, and that being an entertainer is a role that I play just so that people will like me, and one of hte only people that I don’t feel like I have to play the Entertainer Role for is Fatty Si, and I can be myself around him but I don’t know who “myself” reallyu is and maybe I should ask him, and then Kalpana went “NO! Don’t do that!” and her point is that I really have to figure out for myself who I am, which is basically the whole point’o my therapy sessions, because I think I’ve realised that my chief problem is that I don’t know who I am and therefore I can’t know where I am going. But Kalpana did go on to contradict herself a little bit when I expressed to her a desire to have someone else photograph me a lot, so that I can see what they’re seeing when they look at me, and she agreed that might be good. Like, I’m not talking about casual snapshots. You may have seen all my webcam photos – well, I took them all, and so I got to make sure that my hair looked good, and I minimised my double chin, and there was lots of my eyes and all that, so basically I think I look good in most of those photos, or as pretty as can be being me, but then in other people’s snapshots I generally look terrible, and it’s just so weird, the contrast, because normally, other people might say I’m pretty (or beautiful, if they wanna cause me problems) but I really have terribly low self esteem when it comes to my body although I try not to focus on that, because that’s a guaranteed way of making myself even less attractive. My point was, if you’re like, a photographer or something, you should take some photos of me. Thank you. You’d be helping a crazy lady.

    Blah blah blah. See how I’m all “Kalpana says…” when she tells me off for reiterating other people’s opinions too much? It’s a catch22.

    Oh, did we talk about my housing situation yet? I don’t think we did. Ammy and I are looking for a flat together, and anyone who knows anything about Auckland is probably aware that the housing situation is FUCKED right now. Bleh. Bleh bleh bleh. I hate househunting. Also, Clay and I will be breaking up after almost four years together. This is progress.

    That’s probably it eh, with some inclusion of hte killer migraine that I’ve had for a week that’s meant that I can’t even wank cos when I come close to orgasm, the most godawful throbbing headsplitting pain kicks in from my neck and radiates out to my temples – EVERY TIME. And even my closely guarded codiene stash doesn’t help. Grrrr. It’s either my new glasses – but I hope not – or that old prosgeteron problem that I got when I first started on Estelle35, which hopefully will go away now that i’ve finally got my bleed and can start taking it again (i’ve been off it for a couple’o months since I didn’t pick up my prescription in time, which you oughta remember if you pay me enough attention). Or maybe it’s OOS, which isn’t cool at all, given that I’m now The Computer Guy at work. I’m rereading all my Narnia books instead’o masturbating since I couldn’t sleep in the lead up to my bleed (as usual), but even though they’re great, it’s no substitute. I’ve just got the last battle to go in ‘The Last Battle’ and then I dunno what I’ll read. I have some more books from Karen – she gave me a fucking great book called “Negative Space” in which I felt much like the main character, except that I don’t have a brother that i’ve had a slightly dodgy relationship with. But it did make me think that maybe I should become a life model, like the girl in the book, after all, there’s plenty’o me to draw. But that thought mostly had to do with the whole “image of myself” trains of thought that i’ve had to think lots about lately due to the whole trying to find myself process. So don’t worry, I won’t be taking off my clothes for the general public any time soon. Oh, unless you happen to be at parties at KateM’s dad’s place anytime soon and I end up going skinnydipping, again. Nevermind.

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    5 November, 2002

    November 5th, 2002 — 3:30pm

    Okay, so just because someone produces the magic substance that wakes you up does NOT mean that you should trust their decisions. Oh no. So if the boy who makes you coffee once or twice a week recomends that next time you have a VANILLA soy latte, don’t do it. Even if you love Vanilla Coke. Even if you’re easily swayed. Don’t do it. It tastes RANCID. Moral’o the story is, don’t take tips from men who listen to lifeFM or happy hardcore, and have mutton chops.

    Oh look, Jo’s talking real trivial issues, she must be feeling better!

    And actually, I am. even if Cipramil leaves me with a dry mouth and totally inadequate orgasms and weird dizzy spells sometimes. Oh, plus I have a totally burnt thumb. But I suspect that has more to do with Guy Fawkes than any other mental affliction.

    So where were we? We talked about the coffee, which sucked. I trained today to do the WebDev Guy’s job while he’s away on leave. He put a sign on our office door that has the Communications Administrator Job being done by a “Joanne” McLeod. Apparently this is his reaction to Bridget telling him off for spelling it “McCloud”. I was like “Skew, you just gave me all your passwords for the webserver, are you sure you wanna say bad things about me?”. I hope he knows I do actually like him, even if there is a little “friendly” tension between me and Terri’s replacement. I’m still infamous at work for doing so well at the quiz on Friday night, and of course for the Hula dance that went along with it.

    I worked from 10-3pm today, serving at Skew’s leisure so that he could teach me before he gets all mad panicy, and then I went for my eye appointment, which is very heavily subsidized by my organisation, as long as I made it clear that I need glasses to operate my VDU. I made it very clear. The guy was all young and nice, being a final year Opotometry Student, and it turns out that my glasses are WAY TOO STRONG on my left side. He was nice but too close in some parts, and I felt like I was supposed to pash him, because really, that’s the only time you’re supposed to hear people breathing like that. And then we got to the room where to try on frames, and he put the first pair’o frames on me, and he was like “yeah, that’s so it” and we tried on lots more pairs, but he was right, the first pair really suited me, even though they were $300 frames, and we couldn’t find anything nice that was cheaper (“I have expensive tastes!”) plus when someone is so convinced that something looks that good on you, it’s hard to argue, isn’t it? I told him off during my (incredibly long) eye examination cos he kept laughing at me when I was so obviously wrong reading letters, and he was like “hey, it’s boring to be so clinical”. He also got an abridged version of my full medical history because he damn well asked for it, and yes, thank you, I appreciate why I’m having dizzy periods, and I’m paying $120 an hour to sort that out, and I appreciate that you’re taught to do this, but seriously, get back to writing me out a new glasses prescription. Thank you.

    And then this evening there was Quiz, but when Clay and I got there, who was sitting outside but *IV (damn, I wish I was into full name disclosure styles, cos it’d sure as hell make things easier) and I was like umm “okay, I’ll go get the beer” because i am LAME and because he totally wouldn’t even look in my direction at Justin’s last party, and then KateH showed up, and eventually Peter (Hi peter, you’re choice even if you’re not scrawny in a tight tshirt anymore) and a friend of his, and that was our quiz team, although Bo and Leo put in an appearrence for a little. At one stage, I went out to the bathroom, and *IV was out having a cigarette, so I kicked his chair, and said hey, and said that he didn’t need to be afraid’o me cos I didn’t mean to cause trouble at all in any way. He said he was back with his g/f and I said that I knew that, and that was cool and I understood, and he was like, “but you were the first girl since her” and I said that he’d told me that at the time, and then I told a kinda lie and said that I was in love with the boy who’s party we’d hooked up at (a lie in that it wasn’t LOVE as such, but definitely some kinda big feelings) and he was like “what, Justin?” and I laughed my head off and I was like “don’t you remember – we were at a party in Herne Bay” and he was like “ooooh” and I said that he was quite probably the nicest boy I’d ever had sex with, and I’m sorry that I’d snobbed him the first time I saw him after we’d had sex but I hadn’t expected to see him again quite so soon, and he was like “I got a snub in the Hub” which was actually really funny and we were both like, mutal admiration for how cool each other was, and he said that he’d got the note I left him in his letterbox that said he was a total sweetheart, which is true, and he said I had great taste in music, and we had a laugh, and just parted on super terms. So that was lovely.

    Meanwhile, back at Quiz. OH MY GOD! Okay, so every Tuesday, we call ourselves “The Slab” on account of it being our apartment name, right? Well, tonight not only were there “The SLAB” but there was “Peanut Slab” as another team, and also “FUCK THE SLAB” as a team name. ATTITUDE! Anyways, we won, and so that’s a $50 tab for us to drink next Monday when I’ve finished my first exam. No more Quiz nights at Vesbar anymore, at least not over summer. He took my number and said he’d call if he started working somewhere else, but Meh, I doubt that’s what I would like it to be, then him and me and KateH played with Sparklers in the Quad. It was pretty choice. ANd then I went up to Kelly and Rowena’s and we set off fireworks on their roof and I burnt my hand. I went home cos I was so drunk I could hardly stand up anymore, especially in the rain, and Kara and Clay and Bo and Leo were all watching Harry Potter, and there were Nachoes on the stove, so I was stoked, and that was cool, except, my god, maybe kids have mucher longer attention spans than I do, cos I so could not be bothered concentrating, so after an hour and a half, I headed off here.

    But doesn’t it make you happy? Look, Jo all conscious and stuff – and like, sure she’s drunk, but that just means that her OOS doesn’t hurt as much, and yes, I am, I am looking after myself, MUM. ANd soon, I will post you a rant about happiness, and also about Therapy. White MiddleClass Girl Angst etc. Love you all – well okay, that’s a lie. Love all of you who you know who you are, and care about some of the rest of you, and are glad some of you read me, adn would very much like some of the rest’o you to fuck off now please. Thank you. Xojo.

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    dedicated to o who claims she lives for my updates

    August 22nd, 2002 — 7:14pm

    Thursday August 22nd

    If the phone rings one more fucking time, I swear I am going to hurt someone – but of course, I’m on the net, so HAH, it can’t ring. Take that, motherfuckers. I’ve taken to barking “THEY’RE NOT HOME” every time it rings now, since it’s both Clay and Bopha’s birthdays and the phone has been ringing nonstop and it’s always Clay’s horrible family members. If I wanted to be a receptionist, I would not have spent three and a half years getting multiple qualifications. I probably would have dropped out in sixth form.

    So, today is Thursday and the last day I wrote was Monday, so I guess I should feel obligated to fill you in on my week. After all, you’re still my captive audience even if I haven’t heard from you in forever – well, I’m guessing that I am, and if you’re not reading this, then you won’t be able to let me know that I’m wrong, so really, it’s a win-win situation, kinda but not really. But anyways.

    Tuesday: I had to get up earlish to get my ass over to Newmarket where we went to Westfield’s Nuffield Street Project’s headquarters to listen to their communications woman talk about their public consultation programme and how successful they have been and how they’ve scaled back the “mega mall” project they were gonna implement, so that was kinda really interesting. Then everyone had to hop it back to campus for Human Resources lectures, and then I went to the library to start looking up my hypothesis – “HR communicators need to have a thorough understanding of the implications of Sick Building Syndrome in order to protect their workers”. This is a reminder once again, children, that you should go to classes in order to avoid the lameass topics (not like i did today). After that, I had coffee with Thomas (because just between you and me, I do still worry about him, and also because it’s cool we’ve got to a stage where I can send him text messages going “BOYS SUCK” and he will text back offering to beat people up for me). Later that evening, after much wardrobe fretting, Haley picked me up and we went to our client’s hat shop opening in Kingsland. I managed two and a half glasses of bubbly and conversation with an ex-lecturer (“that scary guy is still looking t you! he’s giving you the glad eye!” – haley) before Haley had to go to work and I had to go and meet Jezza and Renae at the pub for quiz night. There, tragedy struck – I realised I didn’t feel like drinking! Shock horror, and so consequently, we didn’t win. It felt dirty and wrong and soiled.

    Wednesday: Hmmmm, I almost had a total memory blank here, but then I realised that Wednesday was yesterday, so in that case, I can remember. Half a day working, doing name badges and other such things, making sure that our big major event next Saturday is going to go smoothly. I was also told that I’ve been shortlisted for Terri’s position and will probably have an interview on Monday or Tuesday. Gulp. I also spent my time emailing KateH and asking her to make the final decision on an issue for me – BradM told me to ask (one of) the boy(s) I fancy out for coffee, while Jezza says that that particular boy isn’t interesting enough for me and I need someone with more spark – but she claimed she’s too much of a fence sitter. Inncidently, when I say I wanted her to make my decision for me, that’s not actually what I meant. You may or may not know that the way I work is that I make my mind up about something and then canvas opinions from my entire social circle until I find someone who agrees totally with me and then I get to use them as like, my expert witness. We all went out to dinner (like, twelve of us) at the Canton Cafe in Kingsland for Clay’s birthday, cos we’d finally managed to get a booking, adn we made it our mission to last there for at least an hour – it was almost two before dinner was finished. The food there is SO GOOD. But the company was real wack. Leo kept trying to get me drunk (cos sure, that’s hard) and I could see KateH and Jezza discussing me over the other side of the table, wheras Morrison was even less subtle with her appraisal of the particular boy that KateH and Jezza were appraising (their verdict – perhaps a change from the usual drama boys would be healthy for me). I like lazy susans. I also like all the food at Canton. I ended up paying $20 as my share of a feast, which included the rest of us paying for Clay and Bopha both in honour of their birthdays, and a $10 tip. Good good good value. It’s funny though, that Clay’s friends are all cheap and don’t bring their own wine, wheras all of my friends did. After that, we got taxis and went and danced and danced and danced at Retro. I got shirty cos of course goddamfuckingKara put her handbag down in the middle. I HATE DANCING AROUND A MOTHERFUCKING HANDBAG! DO I LOOK LIKE I WEAR WHITE PANTS? Grrr. Anyways, eventually we all went home, and since he’d been flirting iwht me hardcore all night and everyone was whispering “there’s definitely chemistry” to me, I decided to sort things out once and for all with the boy. When we were standing outside my building by ourselves, I said “Pop quiz!” to him, and he was all “umm, okay.. I dunno if I’m good at these” so I said “it’s a simple yes/no question” and he said he could do that, and so I said “are you at all interested in me?” and he was a little taken aback, but he said no, and I said that was cool, and he was like “wow, that was out of the blue (OH REALLY? ARE YOU A FUCKING MORON?) you’re really straight up, aren’t you? That’s really cool” and then Clay came up so I just laughed and reiterated that it was cool. I did end up calling Tom to talk about it later though, because hey, no one likes rejection. Especially rejection that makes you feel like you’re totally not fanciable by anyone. If I want to make myself feel better about it, I can think that maybe it has something to do with the fact that I ruthlessly shagged his best friend the night we all met (oh yeah, cos thinkign about that stage’o my life always makes me feel better). Meh. At least I’m not wasting anymore time on him, and he’s cool enough that hopefully, we’ll still be cool.

    Thursday: that being today, of course, was making yoghurt&peach cake for the flatties, more work, and too many goddam people ringing this evening for Clay and Bo. I got to see Emma this afternoon though, which was choice, cos I’d just been thinking about her before I got home. And I wanted to have a catchup chat with both KateB (who was just on her way out) and Anji (except she texted to say she was out to dinner with the whanau) so I didn’t talk to anyone. But I might go have telephone conversations now, and so that will be good. I have a big meeting at work tomorrow to discuss all the final details for this big event, so I guess I gotta get to bed at some decent hour so as to be able to cope with the things I gotta do.

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    etc

    August 9th, 2002 — 10:37pm

    Friday August 9th

    SEND: “Out w darling b friend BradM, but at bar where first pashed i first pashed J so having MAJOR flashbacks – why am I so repulsive that I can’t get any?”

    Fridays always = 9am starts, which = scramble outta bed at 8.40 and rush to be there on time and yet I never quite seem to make it – even if I’ve given up getting coffee from the sandwich place on the way in, cos the Christian guy (he plays Life FM in the background) just takes too long to make it and isn’t very good. Work was long, and I had two meetings, and I had to make 30 more phonecalls, but hey, that’s my job so that’s cool, and I finally got them all done and am just waiting on callback confirmations. And oh yeah, I heard about yet more poeple who are applying for the same job as me, which is always fun. Not. At lunch I had a kickass salad from the Turkish cafe though, so that was excellent, discovering it to be a good place to eat – with magazines even. But yeah, day was loooong, the whole 9-5 tedium lifted a little by Gayle telling me a million times that I was dressed for a niteclub just cos my jersey was sparkly, and by Robert dropping by our office every five minutes to chat, and also to pass on vital information about CC Day to me, so now I am fully in charge of that event, scary. Plus, Terri was profiling someone today, and Bridget had spent ages hyping how cute he was, and she was so right. I like eye candy. Have I mentioned lately that I have mini-crushes on three boys named Daniel right now? As well as about a half dozen others. I started my zine today, entirely inspired by Robyn’s. It’s called “BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS”. Guess what it’s about.

    In the evening i kept cooking my chilli which I started last night and ended up taking a saucepan full’o it over to KateH’s to eat dinner with her cos she was too sick to leave her house. We watched Shrek (halelooyah!) and gossiped about random people, and it was cool, except it was fucking cold and she was sick. And then I got text from Brad asking me what I was doing tonight and I got all excited at the prospect of him being in town, so I went home at the end of the video and my house was all psycho and full of fake milk and boxes cos Clay is shooting a short film here tomorrow, but then Brad came over adn we bonded and I was media savvy for him cos he doesn’t get that in The’Tane (oh, I’m going down there next weekend for a Masquerade party, we pinkyswore on it even), and we drank wine, and then Clay’s scary Christian/Knight worshiping friends left and Clay hung with uys, and also Boandleo, and that was cool and we guilttripped Clay into coming out with us and I’m sure the waiter at Deschlers was taking the piss, making me try the $19 bottle’o wine. Clay left and me and Brad hung out, and there was much amusing conversation, and then we decided to go to the Hobson Street Lounge cos he was in need of another cool bar. But when we reached the top’o Vulcan Lane, we could hear Creed’s ‘Higher’ belting outta somewhere, so we had to stop and raise our knees and make fists and sing it at the top of our lungs too. I think people took pictures of us. Fuck I love Brad. I told him the stripper story and he just about died, and IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT. He shoulda been in class for me to write notes to. But yeah, hiked up to Hobson Street Lounge,a nd we ended up sitting right next to where it happened, and that was a little weird for me, cos yeah, you were actually quite a big deal for me, but yeah it was still cool and we talked politics. And then we decided to go home, so we trekked up to Sky City cos I only had $5 cash, and I sat in the front seat so as not to scare Brad cos we’d been talking about making out in movign vehicles, and had to stop the taxi three minutes or so ahead’o my house, but it’s all good, and yeah, I only spent $24 tonight, which isn’t that bad at all. Hmmm. Fuck I need some financial control!

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    padded bats and stuff like that

    June 14th, 2002 — 2:00pm

    Friday June 14th

    Work today was crap because I made mistakes and stuff, and was just generally not as clued up as I like to be, and the hours dragged on and on and when I got home I was grumpy for no reason at Bopha and Leo so I hid in my room. Leo laughed at me and said “but yesterday you were going on about how much you loved your job” and I said “yes well, i’m premenstrual” (I don’t think Bops and I have synched yet, but HAH! I’m the one taking hormones, she’s gonna have to dance to my tune!). But then I had a siesta and felt much better.

    Clay Bops and I went out for a flat/pre-birthday dinner tonight since he’s gonna be in Wanganui on Monday. We went to Sitar in Mt. Eden which was nice and drank lots and lots of wine with our two vegetarian (mushrooms&spinach and vege korma) for Bopha and one chicken tikka dish. We had fun! They gave me a voucher for a one hour massage for my birthday, bless their socks. And then Clay went to Kara’s, Bopha went to Leo’s and I went home and kept my boots on cos they make me feel like a hoochie, and I was watching MTV awards so it just made sense. Laurence and Chris and Emma came over and hung out for a bit, and then they invited me to go back to their house with them, but I was feeling a little sickly, so instead I stayed at home and watched telly some more. j2 played ‘Parihaka’ and I thought that Tim Finn looked a lot like Eddie Vedder in it, so I went and found my Ten cd and lost my voice singing along because I stubbornly refused to take a breath in the “woaaaaahhhhhhhh ahah” part in ‘Black’ and I’m still coughing as a consequence. And then Bopha and Leo came back to watch the soccer, but I had to leave the room because I’m still in soccer overload mode.

    Last night’s dreams involved both Laura Ingles Wilder and Milan from Pluto, so I’m looking forward to tonight’s. Also I am looking forward to a jolly good sleep in. Except I have to take Clay to the airport around 1. I hate the airport. Nevermind. I haven’t driven my car for aaaaaaaaaaages since I’ve been all good and walking lots. I’m excited about seeing my girls all on Monday. Ohhh, it’s Andee’s birthday tomorrow; I even tried calling her tonight but it was engaged so I must try to remember tomorrow. And then it’s Emma’s birthday on Tuesday. I ‘m going to see if I can split my hour massage into two half hours, since i’ve never had one before – well, a professional one anyways. And come to think of it, I’ve had pitifully few massages at all anyways. Only one boy ever gave them to me – but I think that was just his way of getting into my pants, which worked remarkably well. You suck other people (And yes, THIS is a diss of you)! And come to think of it, pretty much everyone on the Internet (oh okay, and in my social circle) has seen my breasts, yet the only breasts I’ve seen have been belonging to girls I’ve bedded. What’s up with that? Where’s teh love? I’d like to see some boobies please! It’s only fair.

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    the drum and the bass

    June 11th, 2002 — 1:59pm

    Wednesday, June 11th


    Repeat after me: free stuff is good. Awhile ago, Clayton got a postcard in the mail inviting him to the preview of ‘About a Boy’ (you know, Nick Hornby & Hugh Grant type thing etc etc) which promised food and liquor before hand as well. Clay wasn’t home at the time, so I texted him with the hypothetical question “Hey, if you should ever get free tickets to ‘About a Boy’ would you take me?” and of course, he stupidly said yes he would, so I presented him with the card when he got home. Ha. It made me laugh a lot at the time, because just the day before, i’d explained to him that generally when girls ask for things, they already know if it’s possible or not (ie: “Clay, can I borrow a half a tomato?” “Sure, there’s one in the fridge” “yes I know, that’s why I want to borrow it” etc). So anyways, that movie was today.

    But if we want to veer back in time, we’ll start at the start of my day, which was some time after noon, because my bed was just so damn comfy, and also I’d been up late talking on the phone to my Attention Seeking best friend in Chch (I swear, I’m so defensive lionness with cubs eh). I think it’s so important that there are people that i can say “I mango bleach” to and worry about The Hot Potato Syndrome and they know what I’m talking about. Plus our new insult for one another is “hey, stop attention seeking” which is funny if you know the context and potentially offensive if you’re the person I got it off, but hey it actually really offended me, so there. (And I think I tried to say that in person, but I’m always so much better at bitching about it after the fact). Anyways, so where was I? Oh yeah, day at home, doing housework. I cleaned my room! You can actually see all the concrete now, which is not necessarily a good thing. And I divided my notes up into their three topics, which is half way to starting studying, isn’t it? I don’t have an exam for a week though. Blah blah.

    Around 5, Clay and I walked to Newmarket for the movie thing. He mentioned that Kara would probably be really pissed off that he’d taken me and I chuckled more that was polite but oh well. Then my arch on my right foot got really really sore, so I guess that was my punishment. The free food and liquor was at Lonestar, and there were masses and masses of people so it took ages to get a drink, meaning Clay and I only managed three each in the 45 minutes that we were there. The food consisted mostly of tortillas and dip. Waiters kept walking past with plates of ribs which we wanted, but they got put on other tables and we couldn’t be bothered getting up. Some nice ladies came along and tried to pick up Clay, and he felt all special cos he knew lots of people there from his work. I should stop laughing at him so much. The theatre was also really full so we had to sit too close, but the movie was really good. Hugh Grant is getting hotter as he gets older, which is disturbing, and the kid was so cute! I want a 12 year old son. (hmm, i should have been more sexually active in 1990 and not been concentrating on getting Mum to buy me Subway shoes and a peace necklace I guess).

    After the movie, we went and got Burger King, which I instantly regretted and took a bus home. Bops and Leo were sitting in the lounge patiently suffering through Buffy because I was taping it (hey man, she’s coming back from the dead!) but as soon as it was over, Clay watched the soccer that he’d taped and I made lots of phonecalls to arrange my birthday dinner. I wanted to have it at Saigon, but they’re shut on Mondays so I’m having it at a Turkish place instead. Then I rang around trying to organise my friends, most of whom didn’t answer their phones – kate & kate, I’m looking at you here. I did manage to get aholdo Justin, who said he might come, and then we talked about Brand JK reliability, which is amusing. It’s where I do most of my shopping – so I put in a pre-order as well. Ha, fuck I’m terrible. And boring.

    I put the wrong link in to my birthday wishlist last night, but it just occured to me that i have to say “Hey, if you’re my friend, and you’ve had a birthday this year, and I have been to your celebration, I hope you haven’t bought me anything, because I didn’t buy you anything and I would feel (a little)bad”. See, I do have a conscience after all. Last night while I was lying in bed I realised that when work finally DOES pay me, it won’t be the one week’s salary I was expecting, it’ll be FOUR weeks, and that’s kinda really cool. OH MY GOD! THEY PAID ME! I HAVE A POSTIVE BANK BALANCE! I haven’t had one of those since i left Foodstuffs. I can pay the rent, AND the phonebill now. I can even have a good birthday, and I can buy KateH drinks tomorrow night when we go out (except that you try so hard to not talk to me about reading my journal, so you can’t ask for them so HA!). And I can ring up WINZ and cancel the $50 a week they lend me which they’ll be cancelling in a couple of weeks anyways cos I will no longer be doing enough papers to qualify as a full time student, although apparently there’s something else I can be wot says I still qualify. Sorry. It’s just really exciting.

    And that’s about me for the night, eh. My neck really hurts from that damn sitting too close to the movie thing. Maybe I should have a hot bath. I wonder if that’d help me sleep. It’s funny taking herbal supplements to make me sleep because they completely relax out my body so that it feels really heavy and sinks into the mattress and I can hardly move but my mind is still going a trillion miles an hour. I’m due for a bleed in a couple of days, and I’d know that even if wasn’t for the diane35 packet telling me. Midcycle I get mad protein cravings, and then I get sleepless and my breasts get fuller and look glassy and probably in two days time I will be really really sad and cry at the drop of the hat. It’s so interesting (to me anyways) watching myself change. Go womanhood. I bet you’re all just holding your breath until I get pregnant or some mysterious wasting disease and I write about that in great length every single day. Not that I’m thinking that any of you would wish disease on me, of course (because hey, everyone loves me, right?).

    I thought of a new look for Hubris that I wanna do, but I have exams and secret things and charity work and momma’s site (still) to do first. But then maybe there’ll be a logo! And tshirts! And merchandise! And branding! Perhaps.

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