Hubris.co.nz

Once again, it appears that it’s time for all the media to talk about the Man Drought (Or perhaps a woman drought?). There’s nothing like a pointless circlejerk on a slow news day is there? But perhaps I’m just grumpy because of it being the Xmas party season and all, and so therefore I could do with a partner to take to my assorted work parties (and so I could go to theirs!) so I could have someone to talk to, but instead, I will console myself with the fact that tomorrow I have to change my work’s website to reflect something that’s happening in the news RIGHT NOW. Oooh political!

Hmm, I like yesterday’s starting paragraph better when I got to mention cunt juice as the very first thing. Today I went to a seminar on digital archiving (I left in the coffee break because it turned out to not really be applicable to me), and one of the men speaking said something about “discharge” and I had to restrain myself from giggling inappropriately as I was surrounded by librarian types. But I did decide that I need to submit Hubris to the National Library archiving system so that people in 10,000 years will still be using the term “mangoing”.

My home life is about as exciting. I’m stoked that my return to regular gyming has led to an increase in energy. Today I actually got a massage at lunchtime instead, on the gym’s weirdass robot massager, that’s like a combination of a waterbed and a spa pool. You lie down on it, fully clothed, and jets of water work up and down your body, but underneath plastic so you don’t get wet. It lights up inside in all different colours as the cycle goes around, but it makes a hell of a noise so I turned up Sigur Ros in my iPod, shut my eyes and felt like I was flying. Mmm vibratory. But yes, increased energy. I walked up the waterfront after work, basking in the glorious weather, but arrived at the Costume Cave too late to find myself a wig for a Swedish outfit for Country Club on Saturday.

So I came home and cleaned the fridge, and took photos of it for your viewing pleasure.

Yes, this is the entire contents of the fridge Smoo and I use. If you want to see a close-up that points out how most things are cocktail ingrediants, check out this picture.

The shiny clean fridge once I was done with it.

Yes, I am embarrassed by it too. So I went out after I had finished cleaning it and bought an eggplant and some strawberries and apples, which are destined for a cake for Sweden. Because everyone knows Swedish apple cakes are almost as famous as their meatballs (which I am also making), right? And while we’re asking questions, does anyone know anything about fridges? Because ours isn’t as cold as it should be and we don’t know why. And yes, we’ve turned it to its coldest setting. The freezer seems fine though.

Now post a picture of your fridge or pantry. Go on. It’s what the cool kids do before they get offline to go watch The Insiders[sic] Guide to Happiness which they just got. Hurrah!

make this page look more interesting, I realised that i have a whole swag of bear pictures saved to my PC. Naturally. I like bears. Oh my god there might be exciting things happening at my birthday party tomorrow. I have to text Brad and tell him. There. Okay, what else do I have to tell you about? Maybe about my weekend past. Mummy and Anji and Dick came up to see me. Mummy spoiled me rotton and bought me sneakers and jeans anda skirt for my birthday. We went out to the vineyards in Kumeu and ate the most magnificant duck ever, whilst sitting next to a pond with real life ducks swimming around in it. Quack quack! So that was fun. Then I paid for her to get a massage, and I got one too and my massuer was excellent. She pulled out my neck and stuff, and also told me not to click my wrists anymore. Meanie! It was fun, Now Mum is gone but Anji is still staying with me as is Dick. It’s nice getting up to find them asleep spooning on the couch.  And really, that’s about all I have to say for now. Birthday party tomorrow night should be good and exciting. Birthday dinner next week ditto. My social calendar is rapidly filling up, and my friends are all rolling their eyes at my on and off crushes.  On an unrelated note, howcome now that my friend has got himself the equivilent of an EM, why don’t I hear from mine anymore? Is it all a communist plot? I suspect it is.

Thursday June 20th

Happy Birthday Daddy! I’ve fucked up everyone’s birthdays lately – it was Shirley’s on the 15th, not Andee’s. Andee’s was yesterday, not o’s. And o’s is tomorrow. Happy birthday o!

This morning I dragged myself out of bed and the house into the most miserable weather ever (three sleeping pills (relax, they’re just herbal) had actually allowed me to get a decent night’s sleep beforehand) to go down to tech and sit my Intergrated Marketing Communications exam. I decided last night that I’m going to get an A on it. I wrote about telemarketing, databases, heirachy of effects and the implications of new media in 2010 on IMC. I kick ass.

After that, back home in the horrible weather for a few quick puffs on a spliff with Bops and Emma and then it was off to Newmarket for my half hour massage. Ahhh bliss. I just wish that the guy hadn’t had coins in his pocket that kept jangling. I also wish that I wasn’t so tense and that I didn’t feel the need to fight back when someone is pushing me. At least I’m more comfortable about strangers touching me. Oh shut up.

Home again to laze around, completely relaxed except for Bopha scaring me. I had a lovely nap and mooched around doing sweet fuck all, except for baking a birthday cake for Emma. Her birthday was on Tuesday, but we were slack so we’re gonna celebrate it tomorrow along with Brazil/England. Come watch the soccer with us. (Oh also, Mazzy/Kate; yes Emma HAS moved out, don’t get worked up! We just like hanging out with her, okay? Good!)

Blah blah blah blah. I want the other half of my massage now please. I was afraid that I’d end up gurgling on the table but luckily I didn’t.

Tuesday June 18th

Because it’s all about loot, and because you may be interested, and now I’m actually sober (last night was crazy), I will write you a list of what I got for my birthday, in the semi chronological order that I received things.

When I was just on my way out to work yesterday morning, I spotted a large parcel and poster roll sitting in the lounge that had been sent up from Wellington, and even though I knew I was running late, I took a little time to open a few of the things inside, which were:

• A poster of Antartica from Karen, with bears drawn all over it in various different styles, which was obviously a collaborative effort on the part of the good people at Unity Books in Wellington (after all, my height is measured on their door).
• One of the parcels in the big box was “Manufactoring Consent” by Chomsky from my parents
• The other thing I opened was a MUFF that Karen made from me, along with a long list of muff ettiquite. Fuck, I so can’t spell that. You know what I mean though. It’s all soft and brown and furry and has a bear face on one side. Hehehe. I like bears. She also gave me a can labeled “Batted Salmon” which on closer inspection is actually tuna. I like injokes. This is my muff:

Then I had to run away to work and I found out that Teri had broken her ass. Heh. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but she laughed at me when I told her the catching on fire story:

All day today I have been wearing my pajamas, cos I haven’t had a pj day in aaaages, and I really love my pajama top – it used to be my grandfather’s, and it just looks really good on me and it’s actually probably one of the bestly seductive items in my wardrobe. Anyways, this evening I was cooking dinner, and I leant over the stove to stir something on the back element when WHOOSH! My pajama top caught fire. I started screaming immediately, of course, and freaked out, but luckily, I had the good sense to pull it straight off and dump it in the sink. Then I stood in my slip and pj bottoms in the kitchen for ages laughing hysterically. So much for thinking it was a cotton top.

Bopha and Leo heard me screaming but they thought I was some random street person. Typical. Things could have been a lot worse, because the slip under my pj top is completely synthetic too. The way things are now, the bottom of my pj top is just charred and missing a chunk. Maybe once it dries out, I will consider whether or not it is still wearable.

Apparently Bridget was even gonna bake me a cake but she just didn’t. I did have a piece of someone else’s cake though. Actually, I haven’t had a birthday cake since my 17th birthday. Sigh. Anyways. Also at work I managed to finally finish my very first article and put it online. I’d give you the link but then you’d know where I work (because it’s SO hard to figure out right now).

Anyways, finally I managed to get home and open the rest of my presents, and this is what I got:

• ‘Chemistry’ from my parents, which is a NZ book about a drug addict with kidney stones who goes to live in Timaru. I’m presuming Karen chose it and it will therefore be good.
• A 3M ergonomic mouse, which wouldn’t run off the proper port for some reason, but luckily it works off USB as well.
• Some bodylotiony stuff which I initially suspected Neil had just got at a hotel he’d stayed in.
• A jar of Mole sauce they got me in Mexico. There’s an accent or soemthing somewhere in there, it’s not actually potted rodent. I hope.
• A weird purple pen which just perplexed me, but apparently it doubles as a screen cleaner. Mum said on the phone that she felt like she had to get me something that wasn’t on my wishlist. (And of course I’m still going to put the link in to that, it’s never too late to buy me presents!)
• A book called “The 13 and a half lives of Captain Bluebear” from Karen. There are precious few books about bears at Unity. It looks good though.

And then after that, eventually Bopha and I went to Caravan Serai to meet up with everyone else, and this is the rest of the loot that I got:

• A Virtual Fireplace video from JeremyO and Renee. I put it on today and it was strangely mesmerizing and made me feel warm.
• Bright lime sheets from KateH and Maree, and also some body glitter. I’d actually been thinking I should buy new bed linen just hte other day when I saw it advertised but I physically restrained myself.
• A pez dispenser from James. It has a lion on it, but we all initially thought it was a bear.
• A big bunch of flowers and a book called ummm hmm crap, I forget and it’s in the lounge and I’m lazy from KateM. I’ve previously seen her sobbing over it before, so I’m not sure what she’s trying to do to me, but I’m looking forward to reading it. Plus, that’s like the 5th time ever in my life anyone’s given me flowers, so that was exciting. I am so spoiled!

The best present of all, which was the guy finally listening to me yelling and finally working up the nerve to come into the women’s toilets to go and get me someone to give me a screw driver so I could get the fuck out after I got locked in the toilets by a broken lock. Apparently everyone was like “where’s Jo?” cos i’d been gone fifteen minutes but they all thought I was just talking on my cellphone. Of course, if I’d had my cellphone withme, I would have fucking called them! Grr.

Anyways, so that was last night, or the dinner part of it anywyas – I hope I didn’t forget anything. Afterwards, Bopha and I sat around being dicks at home smoking cigars and basically being looney. Today we went out for lunch at Fire&Earth and she told me that she’d kidnapped my cellphone the night before and sent out text messages to various people trying to get gossip but since no one replied I can only presume that she fucked up and nothing went out. Phew.

Oh! Exciting news! I saw Marion in the downstairs apartment when I went to ask the builder to move his car so I could get mine out and apparently, I’m getting carpet tomorrow or the day after! Wahoo! Six months later.Tonight I watched a two hour doco on Robbie Williams. I don’t want a webpage anymore, I want a documentary done on me please. It’d be great. Plus, I think my dad is smoking crack. This is the email he sent me yesterday:

Hello Joanna It’s a long time since I saw you pop out, but you’re still my little baby. All the best for the day, that’s probably pretty well past, at your end. Here I sit in Singapore, waiting to go and sell people on the idea of electronic certification. What some peole will do for a living, eh? (Call it “living”?) Anyway, better do some work. Happy birthday, in case you missed the rerefence, Yer ole man

Actually, that’s kinda cute isn’t it?

Right, maybe I should go and try to sleep now, either that or read through my IMC notes. I’m a little annoyed with myself for my lack of study, but you see the thing is that I only need 9/50 to pass the paper. Sure, yes, I could aim high, but I guess it seems to me that there’s not really any point unless I was going to get the top score out of everyone, which I’m not going to, so why put in all the extra effort? It’s like “a C is a degree” and all again. Even if I am a ‘mature student’ now. Then again, I can probably pull marketing out of my ass quite well. And I have til Thursday morning anyways. Hopefully I can get my massage after that. I’m freaked out about my wrists and hands though.

Sunday June 9th

Last night I finally managed to get out of bed and run away from my house that’s annoying me (HMG had her cousin come over, then went out, leaving her cousin just here with Clayton – grrr!) to KateH’s. We debated whether to watch ‘Casablanca’ or ‘Empire Records’ but the trash won, because really, who wants to be thinking?

But I have done some thinking and now I have a list that’s four names long of people that I need to sort out my feelings for. Nothing like spreading the load! (and to you folks counting on your fingers – don’t).

Today I woke up around one and stayed in bed for half an hour, plowing through “Possesion; a Romance” some more. I’m not entirely sure I like it, circumstances aside, it really doesn’t move me. But then I got out of bed to a phone message from KateH telling me to go over there again for Dawson’s, and so of course I did. I think I’m liking this new series, although it’s not like the old days when everyone would come over for Dinner&Dawsons before our Friday Nights began. Ahh nostalgia. Anyways, where was I? Describing the rest of my boring day, I believe. Right. So KateH had to go grocery shopping after that (and txted me to say that she saw KellyHJT buying brocoli, and that made me laugh because it’s cool that i have that kinda friend who knows that trivia like that is great). I borrowed her Moulin Rouge video, went to Mercury for pad thai (she accused me of being afraid to go back since the lady didn’t recognise me last time) and settled down at home for a nice lax-out afternoon.

I was just near the end of Moulin Rouge when Clay’s friend BradC turned up, so I turned it off right after Christian and Satine said they loved each other, and so hey presto, happy ending! BradC had just dropped by “because he was in the neighbourhood” but I suspect he’s doing an early KateM, who always used to come over “to see BradM” whenever he was going out so she’d end up hanging out iwth me instead, cos Clay was on his way out to dinner and shook his head at leaving BradC with me. But I made him cups of tea, we abused one another (read: flirted (just for a change)) and watched Mexico-Ecuador. I picked Mexico 2-1, and of course I was right. I’m so clever and witty. My god, the Ecuadorian coach was funny; so Australian Westie Trash. Eeek, I swear, I’m not one of those clever sports people, really. Perish the thought.

Anyways, I have exams coming up in eleven days time, and I need to get my wrists into shape by then, because there’s no way I can sit exams with my right hand paining me as much as it does now, so I’m gonna try and cut my usage of computer back to one hour a day, as well as doing other constructive & useful things like the exercises the physio taught me (and if anyone wants to give me a wrist massage, I will be wellhappy to accept it). To that end, I’m gonna wrap this up and go and read or something. Ciao!.