Hubris.co.nz

Smart readers would know that the large gaps in updates are probably due to an increase in bad feelings for me, specifically Rising Anxiousness. This has resulted in some unpleasantness, as it tends to, but I’m hoping that more exercise, having Xmas sorted out now and having two weeks off will help the anxiousness to settle down. And if it doesn’t, well, government job = free intial counselling. WahoO!

So where we left off was with me heading out to the Matterho for Kart’s birthday, which luckily quickly moved up to Mighty Mighty, which wasn’t very busy cos it was a Wednesday after all so we could move a couple of tables together easily.

Ash with porcelain skin poses with porcelain dog

Kartini models a shirt from Helen’s shop, Modern Love

Haha. Awesome photo placement.

I talked about Japan with a couple of people who’d also lived in Tokyo – one working as a hostess – and also started crying on Kartini’s shoulder about “why don’t people like me? What more do I have to do? I never get invitations to anything – you only invited me tonight because I emailed you to see if you wanted to go to lunch. I feel like I’m in seventh grade again blah blah blah blah” because I am really awesome. I was really stoked about that. Especially when I did it again on the balcony at San Frindigo later that night onto Ash’s shoulder this time.

But apart from that, it was a really good time. It was pretty much just us there, so we were all out on the balcony because they’re all filthy smokers (in fact, there’s now a Molly Ringwald badge covering the fucking cigarette burn on my bag), and some random munter showed up looking for whores, confused by the Bathhouse sign out the front (like people used to do occasionally when Anji and Karen lived in the Moonlight Lounge. Except that dude, this guy seemed to be looking for female companionship, so what kind of idiot would go to a place called the San Francisco bathhouse?). I suggested that maybe he should go down to Oasis Massage on Ghuznee St (how do I know where the nearest brothel is? I just keep my eyes open I guess), but he kept hanging around, trying to give us his drink (“it’s a double!” like that was some strange way for liquor to be served) and being sleazy. I think eventually Kristen went to speak to a bouncer about him and he got thrown out. Speaking of dodgy:

I have no idea who that guy is, or what’s going on. I don’t remember taking this picture

Look! Friends! People who like me! And I just need to remember that more often, even if they don’t come to my parties all the time

On Thursday I was feeling a little fragile, and puked up my Revive coffee before we went for our team lunch at Logan Brown, so I chose to take the taxi up with a couple of the late people rather than walk up with the Comms team, so I was at the other end of the table with our director and the head of HR. I tried to keep my head down and just enjoy my gazpacho, asparagus, turkey confit and chocolate velvet, but I found myself babbling more about how nice it was to work for an agency of good if I hadn’t been drinking on a hangover. And I should point out that the tax payer only paid $15 of our lunches, just in case you were worried. And then I tried to Xmas shop but only found things I wanted to buy for myself like art at Popup. Oh, but I did get Lisa a bobble-head Jesus to put in her car to keep us safe when we drive up to the BDO. Mmm sacreligious.

On Friday we had our Comms team planning day all day. It was interesting doing our group working profiles, and mapping out what we want to do with our website and so on, but I was in a terrible grump of a mood due to not getting to eat breakfast and then not breaking for coffee until 11.45. Still, it’s nice to work somewhere that does actually have a clear comms strategy, and part of it felt a bit West Wingy, and also we all know what we’re doing now. And 3/4 of us are exceptionally extroverted, and I am more practical and analytical than the others. Hurrah. Which means that the best ways to “link” with me are as follows:

That night I saw BartBart for the first time in a million years, and also Lisa. We watched the Tommy Lee/Pamela Anderson video on my laptop which Bart was holding on his lap, and of course it’s all shot from POV, so ha ha, Bart got fucked by Tommy Lee. Good times.

On Saturday, I had my work party at the Hataitai bowling club. It turns out I’m not as sucky at bowling as I thought I might be, so joining is definitely on the cards. I felt not terribly comfy at the party though – I was just talking to the Comms team mostly who all had their partners/husbands there, and so I snuck out right after dinner. Besides, later that night Lisa Karen and I went to A Low Hum to see Ghostplane. The doors of Frindigo were still shut when we got there, so we went to Midnight Espresso and Lisa inspired me to have a coke spider, so I bounced off the walls for a while. It truly is an awesome drink. Signer who played before Ghostplane were interesting sometimes, especially in the really poundy songs (they have Dino from HDU/the current incarnation of Dimmer on drums, hence the power), but sometimes they were too clicks and beepy. And you know I feel a bit funny about Aspen. I hadn’t seen Ghostplane play since I’ve become friends with Ash, so that was very cool. But after that we decided that we were old and tired and went home.

On Sunday I tidied the house and went up to Ngaio to get Mum and Neil’s Xmas tree stand, and then I got a tree and went to the Warehouse for decorations, and ended up with this result:

My tree by day – spot all the newspaper-wrapped but beribboned presents. That’s my way of saving the environment

With the lights on. And yes, I did buy the baubles especially to match that sari

On Monday (wow, this is starting to get really boring) I asked for a reassessment at the gym, figuring it would be good to get it in now in case things get a bit kaput over my holiday. I was exactly the same weight, but my body fat percentage had gone down a tiny bit, as had my resting heart rate, which was encouraging. HOWEVER! Four weeks ago, I had perfect blood pressure, but as she was taking it again I said “i bet it’s higher now” because I’ve been feeling so fucking stressed out. It was so high that she took it again to see if it was right. Five more points and she’d tell me to go to a doctor. Holy crap! I’ve always had good blood pressure. I was like “I only came to the gym once last week, and it’s Xmas organising and stuff – I think if I do some radsville cardio today I’ll be a lot better”. But now I can still feel it in my chest, carrying around that ball of stress that doesn’t want to go away. It’s not choice. The anxiousness seems to be rising – hence the crying. I’m hoping the holiday will do me some good. It should do. Hopefully it can make my self-esteem fuck the fuck up a bit too.

Another thing that has added to the cry factor this week is remembering how this time last year we were spending time at the hospital with Oma, and then how on the 22nd, well, you know. Mum rang me to say thanks for the orchids I had sent to her on Friday, and I cried at my desk with a glass of champagne in my hands while my workmates yacked it up in the kitchen. But I pulled myself together by the time that Martha came to pick me up in her sexyass new Mini Cooper. I want one too! We went to Noel Leeming for cellphone goodness for her and DVD recorder joy for me. Well, it’s more joyous now that I found an all region crack for it on the interweb, but I also read bad reviews of it. Stink.

Yesterday there was shopping insanity at Woolworths, but I have everything in stock now except for fresh cream for the many coursed Xmas Dinner Karen and I mapped out on Thursday before a pretty fucking mediocre dinner at Scopa which has so gone off my recommendation list. Everyone in the family (yes, all five of us) has received explicit instructions in regards to wine to be matched with each course, and what kind of cheeses they are to bring, and so on and so forth. Match that with the fact that I only bought two Xmas presents not from the interweb – and one of those has now gone to Anji to give to Neil in a present reshuffle, and I’m like, totally in control. My to-do list is meanwhile detailed down to the “fill CD player with good music” “Make ice” “chill bubbly” instructions. Mostly I just have to tidy, vacuum and decorate the table. Until then I will watch DVDs with Lisa and enjoy Sebastian’s company. And also enjoy how fucking clean the bathroom and kitchen floors are. Ahhh exterme mopping, how calming you are. Sort of.

Sunday 24; January, 1999

I rang the Moonlight Lounge this morning (well, 2pm) for a chat, but someone was on the phone, so I left a message for either of my sisters to call me back. Then Simon and I went out to the Warehouse and to look at double beds (that sounds so much dodgier than it really is – the bed is for me, and not for him). When I got back there was a message for me on the answerphone from Anji. She mentioned in passing that Karen’s in hospital, but it’s nothing serious. Nothing serious? It’s always serious for Karen. Statisitically speaking, most people with Cystic Fibrosis are dead by the time they turn 21. Karen is 23. Last time I talked to her she mentioned that she was sick – but I thought it was like a cold or something. She HATES doctors and hospitals, so I can’t understand how she’d let herself be in hospital. She’s stopped taking most of her pills. I want to know what the fuck is going on, but I don’t want to call my parents. They’ll probably worry more than nessecary or something. I dunno – I don’t wanna call them, so I just wish Anji was home so I could find out what the deal is.

I’m so scared, I don’t want to lose her. I should be back in Wellington. This sucks. I don’t know what to do. It’s got to be serious if she’s in hospital. This isn’t Tonsilitus.

Wednesday 13; January, 1999

Would you trust me with a map? Well, Si Si and his momma did. It was my job to navigate us from potential flat to potential flat, and I have to say I did a pretty damn good job. I only got us seriously lost one time. And hell, U-turns across major intersections are basically what life is all about. When you’re in Auckland anyways.

The first flat we looked at was a basement in Grey Lynn. Actually we did that on the night of the 12th, but I’d forgotten about that. So yeah, it was 4 bedrooms in Grey Lynn, but, like I said, it was a basement. So that was a no-no.

The first flat we saw was four bedrooms in Mount Eden. It was too expensive, at $480 and some of the rooms being single, but oh well. Good location and all that, on a street between Dominion and Mt Eden Roads, but yeah, too expensive. Sigh. So that house was a nice Villa-ish place. The next place we looked at was um… a little more ‘characterish’. It was down in Newton, in an almost industrialish looking area. Right beside the front door was a little window, with red glass and a safety grill across all of it apart from a little slit. I thought that was kinda odd, but I didn’t pay much attention, until we were standing in the first bedroom, and the hanging clothes rail and panelled mirrors on the wall reminded me completly of the Moonlight Lounge. So I asked the guy if the place used to be a brothel, and I was right (natch). That explained the showers in three of the bedrooms then!!! So yeah. The one communal shower didn’t have a door, only curtains, and there was a spa bath full of slime out in the all concrete courtyard. So yeah. It definitely had character. But the rooms were kinda poky, the house was like a labyrinth, and the living areas were too small. I wouldn’t have minded living in a brothel – hell, both my sisters do. (Have B.A, will whore!!!).

I don’t think Si’s momma would have been too happy if we’d taken the place, anyways. The next place in Grey Lynn. It was stunning, fantastic location, colourful large bedrooms, PURPLE kitchen with new stainless steel appliances. Only trouble was that it was 3/4 bedrooms, which meant that the lounge could be used as a fourth bedroom, but then there’d be like no living area. So yeah, we had to flag that one, which I regretted.

The last flat we looked at was in Greenlane. Four big bedrooms, although two of them were locked, wooden floors, large lounge, large kitchen, dining room, covered patio……….. seven knives stuck in the stove, expensive looking stereo equipment, allpowering stench of pot, locks on all the bedroom doors and cupboards, and most interestlingly, about a metre of pot spread out on newspapers in one of the rooms that I initially overlooked. Dodgy stuff. We handed over a bond immediately.

So yeah, that was really cool, having found a flat. In the evening, we went to the K’Road Ballroom to meet up with Jo and assorted Vision people. That was odd. Then we went to Brazil which has cool decor and music but absolutely CRAP service and the milk doesn’t live in the fridge so it tastes like egg white – bleeeeergk. They fucked up the orders. Or we did. Oh well.

I couldn’t sleep AGAIN that night, although this time I had the sense to take down the clock and put it in the bathroom. I really really HATE things that tick. They drive me absolutely mad. Eventually I had to get up and read Douglas Coupland’s “Girlfriend in a Coma” for a while and then the book turned really nasty so I had to finish it. So yeah, I got to bed by 6am. Sigh. Great book though. Freaky as shit.

Sunday the 3rd of January, 1999

So it’s a new year, so we get a new colour scheme. Possibly this purple is a little too bright for your tender eyes – do let me know. Okay. Onward ho. Do make sure you’ve downloaded my font too, okay?

I woke up around 10.30am when Karen came into the lounge (I was in the moonlight lounge remember?) and said Good Morning to her. She was fully suprised and was like “what are you doing here?” I replied “sleeping” and turned over and went back to sleep. Such a shocker of a McLeod answer huh?

Anyways, I got up properly at the far more dignified hour of 1pm, and explained to her that I’d been out with Anji. We went to have breakfast at the Krazy Lounge, which was nice, only I’m not a big fan of breakfast menus. Eggs and I are not on speaking terms, basically. But yeah, anyways. Mum and Neil came to collect me, and I went home.

Did I ever explain why I call my father ‘Neil’ ? Like, everyone always asks me, so maybe I’ll write it down here for you.

Once upon a time, way back in the early seventies, a man called Neil and a woman called Aimee had so much love for each other that the love formed a whole seperate baby that they called Angeline – or Angie (Anji now) for short. Angie watched her mother and father refer to themselves as “Neil” and “Aimee” so when she started to talk, she called them that too. Aimee and Neil made another baby out of their love, called Karen, who was basically just an Angie wannabe and called her parents the same names too. One day Angie started Preschool, and saw all her peers call their mothers “Mum”. Aimee helped out at the preschool, and all the children there called her “Angie’s Mum”. A lightbulb went on in Angie’s head, and she started to call Aimee “Mum”. Karen instantly copied her. Neil however, was not as involved in his children’s lives, so he didn’t have his name changed to fit in with their peers’ expectations. A few years later, Joanna came along, and mimicked her sisters. She got really tired of telling the story, and since she resented being moved to Japan and loathed her father for it, she claimed that was the reason he didn’t get called Dad. But it wasn’t really.

Gosh, that was a fun digression, wasn’t it? Anyways, where were we? Oh yeah.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. In the evening I totally hid out in my room because my aunt and uncle came over and they’re excrutiatingly boring. I was just sitting on IRC and stuff when Kate came online, and she was like “can I come over?” Of course I would have said yes, only up pops Simon with “come and visit me!!!!!”. So yeah, on the spur of the moment, we decided to make the hour long drive up to Waikanae. She told me that she’d be at my house in fifteen minutes, so I went to wait for her at my letterbox, foolishly not realising that she meant half an hour. Ah well. Eventually, we were on our way. In Johnsonville, she decided that we needed to get KFC, so we got burgers that were actually really yucky. The roundabout had its sprinklers going, so we drove around it like four times, shrieking when the water came in the open window. Ahhhh you crazy kids!

The drive out to Waikanae took a long time, and Kate’s driving is slightly scary, but that’s okay. It was amusing ‘cos she made me smoke a cigarette, and I realised that they taste like shit, even more so because I wasn’t drunk. So yeah, I don’t know what the moral of that story is. Smoking IS sexy though, even though it probably shouldn’t be. Most of the people I know smoke; it’s kind of suprising that I don’t. In fact, neither me or Anji or Karen smoke. I guess in Karen’s case, that’s not suprising, but both me and Anji dwell in what are extremely smokey societies. How Brady are we then?

Anyways. Kate and I decided as we drove along that we’d take Simon to the beach, so after sitting around for a while watching him play with his linux, and after making more arrangments with his momma for our exodus up north (she’s coming next week to help us flat hunt) we did just that. It was so dark walking through the trees barefoot, and then we had to scramble down sand dunes, but it was completly worth it. There was a full moon, and it glinted off the water something gorgeous. Further along the beach was a bonfire, but as it was midnight, it was completly deserted otherwise.

I rushed into the water, although Simon calling out a warning about blue bottles was a little spooky, as was the thought of Katipos. Kate rolled her pants up (I was holding up my long skirt) and came wading in too. It was so lovely and warm. It could have been so romantic if I’d been there with a guy, instead of two of my best friends. We splashed around a bit, after finally convincing Simon to come in – he’s such a big girl’s blouse sometimes. Kate gave me the fright of my life, sneaking up while my back was turned. I screamed so loud, it was crazy. I ended up totally soaked, which sucked a bit, plus I got sand in my open blisters, which wasn’t the best thing in the world, but it was soooooooo much fun!

We dropped Simon off back at his house then, and went to harrass the macdonalds staff at Mana. When we found out the drive through was shut, we drove through it like three times, sharks circling their prey. Meanies. Shit, that’s like three times Kate and I have played games with Maccers staff that they didn’t get. You’re terrible, Muriel. I swear to god, she’s just a bad influence!

Sunday the 3rd of January, 1999

So it’s a new year, so we get a new colour scheme. Possibly this purple is a little too bright for your tender eyes – do let me know. Okay. Onward ho. Do make sure you’ve downloaded my font too, okay?

I woke up around 10.30am when Karen came into the lounge (I was in the moonlight lounge remember?) and said Good Morning to her. She was fully suprised and was like “what are you doing here?” I replied “sleeping” and turned over and went back to sleep. Such a shocker of a McLeod answer huh?

Anyways, I got up properly at the far more dignified hour of 1pm, and explained to her that I’d been out with Anji. We went to have breakfast at the Krazy Lounge, which was nice, only I’m not a big fan of breakfast menus. Eggs and I are not on speaking terms, basically. But yeah, anyways. Mum and Neil came to collect me, and I went home.

Did I ever explain why I call my father ‘Neil’ ? Like, everyone always asks me, so maybe I’ll write it down here for you.

Once upon a time, way back in the early seventies, a man called Neil and a woman called Aimee had so much love for each other that the love formed a whole seperate baby that they called Angeline – or Angie (Anji now) for short. Angie watched her mother and father refer to themselves as “Neil” and “Aimee” so when she started to talk, she called them that too. Aimee and Neil made another baby out of their love, called Karen, who was basically just an Angie wannabe and called her parents the same names too. One day Angie started Preschool, and saw all her peers call their mothers “Mum”. Aimee helped out at the preschool, and all the children there called her “Angie’s Mum”. A lightbulb went on in Angie’s head, and she started to call Aimee “Mum”. Karen instantly copied her. Neil however, was not as involved in his children’s lives, so he didn’t have his name changed to fit in with their peers’ expectations. A few years later, Joanna came along, and mimicked her sisters. She got really tired of telling the story, and since she resented being moved to Japan and loathed her father for it, she claimed that was the reason he didn’t get called Dad. But it wasn’t really.

Gosh, that was a fun digression, wasn’t it? Anyways, where were we? Oh yeah.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. In the evening I totally hid out in my room because my aunt and uncle came over and they’re excrutiatingly boring. I was just sitting on IRC and stuff when Kate came online, and she was like “can I come over?” Of course I would have said yes, only up pops Simon with “come and visit me!!!!!”. So yeah, on the spur of the moment, we decided to make the hour long drive up to Waikanae. She told me that she’d be at my house in fifteen minutes, so I went to wait for her at my letterbox, foolishly not realising that she meant half an hour. Ah well. Eventually, we were on our way. In Johnsonville, she decided that we needed to get KFC, so we got burgers that were actually really yucky. The roundabout had its sprinklers going, so we drove around it like four times, shrieking when the water came in the open window. Ahhhh you crazy kids!

The drive out to Waikanae took a long time, and Kate’s driving is slightly scary, but that’s okay. It was amusing ‘cos she made me smoke a cigarette, and I realised that they taste like shit, even more so because I wasn’t drunk. So yeah, I don’t know what the moral of that story is. Smoking IS sexy though, even though it probably shouldn’t be. Most of the people I know smoke; it’s kind of suprising that I don’t. In fact, neither me or Anji or Karen smoke. I guess in Karen’s case, that’s not suprising, but both me and Anji dwell in what are extremely smokey societies. How Brady are we then?

Anyways. Kate and I decided as we drove along that we’d take Simon to the beach, so after sitting around for a while watching him play with his linux, and after making more arrangments with his momma for our exodus up north (she’s coming next week to help us flat hunt) we did just that. It was so dark walking through the trees barefoot, and then we had to scramble down sand dunes, but it was completly worth it. There was a full moon, and it glinted off the water something gorgeous. Further along the beach was a bonfire, but as it was midnight, it was completly deserted otherwise.

I rushed into the water, although Simon calling out a warning about blue bottles was a little spooky, as was the thought of Katipos. Kate rolled her pants up (I was holding up my long skirt) and came wading in too. It was so lovely and warm. It could have been so romantic if I’d been there with a guy, instead of two of my best friends. We splashed around a bit, after finally convincing Simon to come in – he’s such a big girl’s blouse sometimes. Kate gave me the fright of my life, sneaking up while my back was turned. I screamed so loud, it was crazy. I ended up totally soaked, which sucked a bit, plus I got sand in my open blisters, which wasn’t the best thing in the world, but it was soooooooo much fun!

We dropped Simon off back at his house then, and went to harrass the macdonalds staff at Mana. When we found out the drive through was shut, we drove through it like three times, sharks circling their prey. Meanies. Shit, that’s like three times Kate and I have played games with Maccers staff that they didn’t get. You’re terrible, Muriel. I swear to god, she’s just a bad influence! I have a classic quote from her, talking about her boyfriend Anton – “I’m so mean to him and he doesn’t even realise”!

Saturday the 2nd of January, 1999

As happens a lot to me, I dreamt I was woken up, but went back to sleep. So I laid in bed for ages, sure that Mum and Neil had left me, and gone to my grandmother’s without me – (YAY) until Mum came to wake me. Damn. I mean, I know if I had a better soul, I wouldn’t hate visiting my grandmother, but it’s just soooooooooo boring and so hot there, and it’s like an hour’s drive out of Wellington. As soon as we got there, I like, sprawled myself down on the lumpy sofa to read Woman’s Weekly and the like. I don’t want to go through Opa’s books once again. Sure, there probably are interesting books there, but realistically, I’ll never read them. I’m not going to grow up to be the famous writer that he wanted me to be. I’m learning about the real world now, not History, so all his old books are no use to me. I hate his big room now, because time stands still in there, and he’s dead but so much of his stuff remains. I’ve claimed as much furniture from there as I think our flat will hold, and I have pens and paper and everything from there already. There’s nothing left for me in there except memories, and I don’t have to go to my grandmother’s house to remember him.

That said, I did come home with more loot – some old frying pans and an electric wok, although that looks a bit dodg, so maybe I won’t take it to Auckers. Si and I were doing inventory, and I think we’ve got most of the stuff we’ll need for a flat – bar a toaster and a microwave and ummm cutlery. I have various bits and pieces from when stealing cutlery from resturants was my obsession, but that’s mostly knives that would be good to spot off. Anyways, it’s going to be cool, so long as we can find a good house and nice flatmates.

In the evening, I glammed up in my new pearl and amythest necklace and new (lancome and chanel baby) lipsticks from Oma (both were things she didn’t want anymore – well, each of us cousins gets a necklace like that – Karen’s emerald one was kinda ugly so she didn’t take it). Mum dropped me off at Smacksalotl, and I did some drinking with Anji, Siobahnagain and Aaron. Then we decided to go to Tueplo’s so we walked down there. Anji and Aaron were pretending to be going out the whole way down there, so I hung back with Siobahn. She was fully on the piss, and asked me a thousand times where we were going. She gave money to a busker in return for a lollipop. He told her to take lots so I had one too. Friendly. Town was so much nicer than it was on New Years Eve. I don’t ever feel scared anymore walking around at night (thanks for that legacy) but I did on New Years. So much broken glass, gang members and violent looking people. I had a moment of sheer terror when I was talking to Steph on the street while she waited for a taxi and all of a sudden Anji was like “watch out” and she pulled me close to her while behind me I heard glass smashing. That spooked me temporarily. I still waited by myself to flag down a taxi for Steph while she was inside though.

Sorry, that was like a different story, NYE instead of Jan 2. Anyways. Tupelo was shut, and so was Studio Nine, so we went into the Lava Lounge instead and I bought everyone drinks. The place was so empty, it was funny. We sat in SUCH comfy comfy arm chairs, which was lovely. They were playing all this early eighties hiphop stuff, which was entertaining, but I SO wanted to hear the Spice Girls. I wanted to do the Stop dance, since I’ve finally mastered. I was so impressed when they played Wannabe, and Anji laughed at me heaps because I knew all the words and I hammed it up.

Anyways, then we decided to just go back to Anji’s, after Aaron had left us. We got to her door, when Siobahn decided she wanted chips, so I walked to City Stop with her to get them. On the way down, we passed a lad called Matt who’s madly in love with Anji, but is definatly unrequited. (Note to ANYONE ever planning to have kids – DON’T call your children Matt – it’s dooming them for life). Siobahn, being the little flake that she is, stupidly suggested that he should go and say Hi to Anji on his way home. Fooooooooooool Girl! I told her that if Matt did actually show up, Anji would kill her.

City Stop was all bright and glowy and full of Junk Food – choooiiiiiice. Siobahn being the little pig that she is bought THREE bags of chips, and it took us only the time it takes to walk through Cuba Malls to devour the twisties. It’s only after drinking that food like that becomes okay to eat. Once we got up to Anji’s, we saw Matt WAS there, so we had a guilty little giggle. I climbed out onto the fire escape again, although this time Anji forbade me to call out to passers by. Both her and Siobahn had told Kirsten at ‘Slotl that I’d harrassed her ex b/f on New Year’s Morning, telling him he was looking “Fly” (he was wearing a pale blue suit for fucks sake, Fly personified!) and asking him to cook us breakfast (which he would have, only we had no ingrediants).So yeah. We smoked up, and ate chips. At one stage two girls walking up Cuba Street met two boys walking down Cuba Street, and after some discussion ended up all going up the street together. I couldn’t help but yell out “SCORE!!!!”. When they turned around to see, I looked the other way. When Siobahn started talking about sleeping, Matt left. Hhahahah. He’s really nice, just Anji is so not interested, it’s kind of amusing.

So yeah. We sat around and giggled a bit more. It’s always amusing when people tell you that they had sex on top of a freezer in an open resturant in town. (Not Smacksalotl, although Anji has snogged someone in the cooler there). The salt and vinger chips hurt our mouths too much, so we devised a plan to neutralise them by spreading Baking Soda toothpaste on them. It’d be perfect. Parents would love them for their kids’ sake, AND the chips would be so soggy that they wouldn’t leave crumbs everywhere. They ARE the chip of the future. That idea is now patented by the way, so don’t steal it (justine). Eventually Siobahn went off to Aaron’s, and Anji went to bed. I could have slept in Melinda’s room, but there’s the spooky staircase there that leads up to the Gimp Attic. And I didn’t wanna sleep in Daegal’s room cos I didn’t know when he’d be getting back from the Gathering (bastard). So I slept on the old bed in the curtainless lounge, moonbeams and streetlights washing over me. I felt so Cosmopolitan.

I was baking in the temperature of my room when Mum came in at 12pm and asked if I was going to Anji’s or not. It gets so goddam hot with the sun coming in and all. Plus last night I’d pulled the heavy duvet over me too. Ah well. So anyways, I got up, showered, put my makeup on and all that good stuff. Mum dropped me off in town and I went straight into the moonlight lounge. The flat was deserted, but I found them all out the window, on the fire escape, basking in the sun and jealousy of passers by. It was only the flatmates there, having a champange breakfast to celebrate Anji’s (26th) birthday. It was soooooooooo hot in the sun, but so nice, with bubbly, fresh bread, humus and cheese, strawberries and melon. Mmmmmmmmmmm. We sat out for like, less than an hour, but it was the hottest time of the day, and the two glasses of bubbly made my head go all funny. Siobahn showed up and we eventually headed inside, thank god. I was practically falling asleep. Crazy Steph came too, and Louise, and umm. I think that’s about it. We all sat around drinking more, and most of the flatmates buggered off. I was lying on the bed in the lounge, and since Anji was dangling her legs in my face, I gave her a foot massage. Then I gave Steph one too, cos she asked. I’m such a good bitch.

I rang and rang and rang Jo all day long, but the biarch was geeking, so I couldn’t get ahold of her til like 3pm. Eventually though, she showed up, we did introductions, and with wine, she settled down to speedily win Anji and all her friends over. Siobhan might be moving to chch next year, so they exchanged numbers. I learnt faaaaar too much from Siobhan today – she was telling us all how big Aaron’s dick is. Apparently, his girth is similar to a 500ml 7up bottle. He chefs in the kitchen at Ate (8 Courtney Place) if you wanna find out for yourself.

So yeah. We gossed, and drank, and drank and ate chocolate and drank. Jo and I danced some, because we had to. We also rolled glitter all over ourselves, since Anji had given me rose-scented roll on glitter for xmas. And I took her up to see the gimp attic. She tried to suggest that people could live up there. Girlfriend, did you not feel the temperature? SOMEONE was OTP.

The lads showed up eventually, and everyone was going to go to town, but I felt kinda woozy – I guess that’s what the sun and the bubbles will do. Luckily, Jo said she didn’t feel too shit hot either, so we rang home and Daddio came to pick us up. I made pasta with sundried tomatos and creamcheese sauce to satisfy a carbohydrate and creamy craving. Then we went and played with my scanner. Mmmmmm. All I can say about that is that it’s all JO’S FAULT! Just be grateful I’m probably not gunna post the pictures.

Sitting outside while she had a cigarette, we decided to go and explore the bush behind my house (bush as in Native Forest, rather than a little shrub). Nevermind the fact that it was dark and stuff. So we booted up, and I changed outta my shiny skirt so that I was all comando like in black, grabbed us a fantastic torch and my camera, and headed off for our bush adventure. Did I tell you what the torch was? No? Well, it was THE ILLUMINATOR – as in “I am the illuminatoooor” (said in an Arnie voice). It’s funny, okay?

I haven’t been in the bush since I was like 12. We decided to stick to the path, since it was black and nighttime, and since the bush goes up a messy hill and all. So we followed the trail from across the troll bridge down further to where three concrete beams cross the stream again behind the Bretheren house. I never ever used to be scared walking across those – it’s only like an eight foot drop, but I guess I’ve lost the fearless agile attitude kids have. But that’s okay. I shuffled my way across in the torchlight. We used up all the photos left on my camera, so that’s good. Soon we’ll be able to make half of our adventure page. Back at home we netted for a bit, cos we are geeks after all, then I stuck her in the spare room upstairs – (poor thing probably had to hear my daddy snoring – he snores like a rutting wild boar – i can hear him from downstairs sometimes) and went to bed. I’m reading a book of short stories called Disco 2000 – I love it. It’s also sorta scary, thinking about the millennium and all. Like, I don’t buy into the end of the world theory – but I DO need to be at a happening party when it happens.

Tuesday the 15th of December

Go and check out my Grudge page, and come back here later when I’ve actually written my journal entry, okay?

Okay, now I will write it up. I worked all day in the Bakehouse, which was long and boring, with the only respites being a quick visit from Jo, who gave me a shock cos I didn’t see her coming in, and I gasped in Terror. Not at her, honest! And oh yeah, Karen came by in the afternoon, and listened to me talk (for 20 minutes straight, apparently) about my adventures to Hamilton. She’s moving into Anji’s flat, cos Jen Troup’s moving to Washington DC for six months. Both my sisters living together in the coolest address in Wellington. Rock On!

Mum was in a real shocker of a mood, probably cos Paul wasn’t paying her enough attention. That woman is SO tragic, man! She was slamming things around, so I took the initiative to drive home. Her already crap driving, in a bad mood, in rush hour? That’s like, my worst nightmare.

In the evening, around 9.30pm, I went into Axolotl to see Anji, since she’d been so sad on Sunday whnen I left her. I timed it well, cos Joseph, my honey, was there, so I got to sit with him and a loser called Mark. (I think there’s something about that name that dooms them to loserness). So that was choice. Joesph was like “howcome we haven’t seen you on Shortland Street yet?” He cracks me up. I got to hear stories about his blowjob in Dunedin too from Mark – I think that embarrassed him a little. Once they’d gone, I sat by myself for a while, then K came to talk to me. She was really down, which, I imagine, is mostly due to the fact that she’s having an abortion tomorrow. Poor girl. It’s not something I discussed with her, but Anji told me. I took her flowers the other week after seeing her look really sad in town. I just wish there was more I could do! We had tortillas and guacamole – you know that you’ve got it good in a cafe when you can get another bowl of sauce for free, without even having to say a word! Plus I paid all of two dollars for a brilliant feed, and a hot chocolate. I love Wellington. I’m going to hang out with Anji on New Years Eve, cos she can get me a tab, and she rocks. Time for new adventures, I say. I just want to score. Does that sound really bad? Too bad, cos it’s true!

Any offers?