Hubris.co.nz

I sent a summary of today’s expo to my list so you missed out if you’re not on it, unless I write about it in more depth which I probably will. But more importantly, you can watch me. Tomorrow. On the Internet. http://www.aut.ac.nz/multimedia2000. I’m in Group 10 – the last one, and we’ll be broadcasting live from 8pm til 9pm NZ time. If you can’t see it, it’s not our fault, it’s the fault of the techies. But do watch. It should be really cool.

“Maybe later – I’ve got creamy goodness in my mouth right now”

Okay, this is SUCH a bad sign, that’s it’s 3.15am on Tuesday morning and I’m still awake, unable to sleep so I’m at my computer, shivering in my slip and writing a journal entry. Arrrgh fucking aarrrgh fucking grr. Mind is very wound up right now, eh. Just a little bit. If I hadn’t left it in the lounge where Anji is sleeping, I’d be rehersing my speech right now. I mean, hey, I wrote it at 3am a couple’o nights ago anyways!

From midday until 9.45pm, I was in the computer lab, working on our broadcasting assignment. Well, that included a break for a trip to the bank (damn you Internet banking that promises to do rent transfers and then doesn’t) dinner with Andrea at Boiger King (misspelling intentional to proclaim pronounciation) and a five minute phone interview with a reporter from the Herald. Hi, I’m Joanna McLeod, and I want a job producing content for the Internet. Bob King asked me to answer the reporter’s questions, as apparently, I’m a sort of spokesperson for the course. Yay me! I was actually really proud, especially when the PR woman in Bob’s office who was doing name-badge stuff for the expo whilst listening to me told me I’d given a good interview.

Today I wrote a story about microchips in vending machines that make their products talk that went along with a video piece Trevor and Andrea did. I also did some page laying out, and wrote blurbs about the people in our group, and that kind of stuff. I was so so so proud to teach trevor how to align pictures to the left right in the middle of the text – something people who never used Frontpage Express or any other really bad WYSIWYG programs might never have learnt. And Joe and I did a layout in Fireworks that worked real nice. Wahoo. Yeah, sweet ass. Anyways, around 9.30pm I got a call from Garland and when I answered my cellie, the voice was liek “Hello stinky poo” so I realised that my family had arrived at my flat, so they agreed to come pick me up from tech. Goddamit, it’s SO cool having your parents pick you up from stuff – I think that’s what I miss most living in a flat. They were all hungry, so I took them to D72, but the kitchen was closed, so I suggested bread and hummus from foodtown, and got aggressive defending that situation, because I was just waaaaay too tired to think about another cafe. And as Mum and Neil and Anji had just driven up from welly, they were pretty tired too and took my advice.

Back at home, we ate yummy things on bread (brie! baba ganosh! smoked beef! parents’ money!) and drank (parents wine, Anji and I the last of my vodka) and watched first Clayton’s brilliant documentary on BFM, t then his sitcom. It was the third time I’ve seen the sitcom (and the doco, actually) but I think the tiredness and alcohol proved to be a winning combination, cos i kept giggling and giggling. Then I showed them the Flat Video, that covers my audition for Life On Tape – talking about kicking out Leyton, Clay’s 20th birthday dinner and Simon dancing, Brad doing spicegirl moves for my CD ROM, and our Survivor Final Episode Party. They were very very impressed, and laughed a lot. Then Mum and Neil went to their motel which is just 100 metres down the road – I worked there for all of two days – and Anji and I had another drink. We had the absolute best gossip. It was Anji who told me all the way back in 5th form that giving blow jobs was empowering, and I’m very grateful for that advice – even if I didn’t give one to my best friend’s b/f like she was suggesting at the time. Thanks Anji and Cosmo – my god, how scary is it the first time you go down on someone and you have no fucking idea what you’re doing? Until you remember Cosmo going “there’s no wrong way to give head” and you relax a little, that is. I think drinking from Pint Glasses probably wasn’t the smartest move ever, eh. What you think is a reasonable three drinks is more like six. AND I STILL CAN’T SLEEP! GRR! I hate being so intelligent and thinking so much!

I’m reading this really good book r ight now which I can’t for the life of me remember the name of – something about Johnny Thunder, and it’s about a girl falling for the wrong guy, and her lifestyle reminds me of Anji, and the writing of it’s so real I can see every scene, and if my light was on, I would tell you the name of the book so that you can read it too, but it’s all dark and stuff, cos I’ve been trying to sleep for ages, so I can’t tell you. Woah, that was a very long sentence. Sometimes I think you need a map to navigate these journal entries of mine. My eyes hurt, so I should probably crawl back into bed now. I’m so so so nervous about tomorrow -it’s the first day of the expo, and I’m making a speech and all. One of the grad dips came up to me today and said she was really glad it was me making the speech, since I’d done so well presenting our project to the class, and I just thought that was really really lovely of her. But yeah. I think I’m going to go shopping with mummy tomorrow to find something to wear – I haven’t washed my new media pants yet, and I really should have. I didn’t expect to be at tech so late. “Maybe later – I’ve got creamy goodness in my mouth right now”

Dammit, WHEN do I get a real proper sleepin? Thursday maaaaybe – if I’m lucky. I had to go into tech today to work on my broadcasting. My voice was even goner today – well, this morning anyways – luckily it’s kinda back now. Cos how would the world function without my screechings, eh?

At tech today, I wrote an article about how Michael Jackson came to our Expo, and propositioned Joe for some “back ending” work. I wrote an article about how the staff at AUT have been secretly selling our bandwidth to buy Pajeros. I wrote an article about how the notorious hacker k1w1w3b hacked the Expo site. I like writing crap, oh yes I do! So that was tech. I came back home to watch the fight with the boys and drink beer, but I fell asleep before hand briefly, and didn’t want any beer. I’ve never watched boxing before, and I can’t say I really focused on it today either. Instead I rang my mummy, and discovered that her and Neil and Anji are driving up to Auckland tomorrow, and Anji is staying three nights with me. Mum and Neil are going to stay in the motel down the road where I used to work – well, for two days anyway. Yay, this is cool. Except that I’m just choto busy. But still, I can make them waffles and stuff.

Kara is also staying with us for a week, while being homeless. She’s lovely. She cooked us dinner. I hope we don’t scare her TOO much – scaring her a little is fine. I watched The Rock tonight. I really have nothing to say. Oh, I changed my bed linen so now it’s my lovely pink set. That’s about as exciting as my life gets. We dragged sleeping bags out onto the lawn today to get a little sunshine. Clayton and Kara came back inside covered in grass. Oh to be young and frolicky again. Oh wait, I am still young. Just not frolicking. I’ve had so many good gossips to people lately, and also not just gossips, actual good serious conversations too. No wonder I lost my voice. I need my voice back before I make a speech at the Expo. Oh, and I’m cleaning up my site tonight, on account of going to maybe give industry people my url, so if there’s something you wanna see again but you can’t find, just email me for the link, k? Goodo. “Maybe later – I’ve got creamy goodness in my mouth right now”

So, they’re recounting the votes in the US. Cool. I could make an effort to find out who’s won, but I can’t be assed, because I was at tech until 9pm today, and that’s quite a long time when you’re as sick as a sick dog. Coffee and a vege sandwich and gossiping with Jody and Jeremy perked me up a little though. Jeremy’s definately moving in, so yay. Kate B and I had a spat last night when she told me that oh maybe she’s not going to sublet, she might just move out, and that so wasn’t what I needed to hear after I’d arranged someone to sublet, and we were both very very tired and grumpy, so I stomped off to my room, but we made up before she went out to Johnno’s so that was okay.

So yes, very very tired. I was relieved to find out today from Mansfield that actually, all our paperwork and website isn’t due in today after all. Plus, apparently he’ll very happily give anyone an extension on their I.D project, and accept stuff with “Under Construction” segments. But that’s cheating. I figure if I can get an A on the planning of it all, I can damn well get an A on the actual thing. But I’m not sure if I will or not. I can dream. It’s all that makes doing an instructional program on how to use the AUT Phone System bearable. We had some career people come talk to us, and they said “You can expect a starting salary of around $30,000 in your field when you graduate” but Mansfield said after that if you go into Coporate Instruction work, you’ll start on at least $45,000. But where oh where is the soul?

I like Director. Well, I like it better than Quest anyways. I think I like it better than Flash too. My timeline is all colour coded and pretty. Arrrrgh, what’s happening to me? Helen asked me and Jody today if we’d had any Fireworks this year – my automatic response was “yeah I have it installed on my machine at home”. Of course, she was refering to Guy Fawkes. Why do program makers try and give their products such fucking bizzare names? I mean “FLASH!” – and how many people start singing “oooooh Dreamweaver, I believe…” AAARGH! Okay, sorry – you can kind of tell that lately I’ve been spending 90% of my awake time in the labs at tech, can’t you?

I meant to change my sheets and stuff tonight, and maybe even do a load of washing, but when you get home at 10pm, the inspiration’s really just not there, is it? Ooh I just made my back crack something lovely. I’m sure it wasn’t healthy, but it felt good. I’m not very healthy, and I intend to change that. My body’s so completley unable to cope with stress that it gets really really sick whenever I need it the most.

The link to my journal page is maybe likely to disappear off my front page sometime soon. This is in keeping with the fact that we’re soon going to have to make our answering machine message less offensive too as I go jobhunting. Damn conformity!

I’ve drank about three litres of water today. I’m pissing on the half hour. If someone was to give me a neck and shoulder massage, I would sell them my soul.

Think my “Night” capsuale is kicking in yet? I took two last night and still didn’t sleep. Too much running through my mind, plus I can’t breathe with a blocked nose, and I can’t sleep when I can’t breathe. My parents are coming up to Auckland next week to go to the Expo. Anji may or may not come. It’ll be nice to see them. I think I must also borrow money off them, unfortunately. I’m looking forward also to getting gloriously drunk on Wednesday night after the expo is over. And going to Hamilton on Friday to see Andee and Shihad and Fur Patrol.

Brain mush brain mush brain mush.

Oh, and just cos I was showing them to Annette, here are the last ten search engine thingies that people used to find my journal page:

• delivered baked goods
• flame test ion
• coloured gifs and jpegs and wizard
• piss jpegs,
• gifs of eart,s rot jpegs,
• gifs of eart,s rot jpegs
• hot jpegs
• fuck her very badly
• Nipple Licking

“You got nipple licking? I’m so jealous!”

There’s something a little wrong with your taxi driver giving you tips on how to become a high price hooker, isn’t there? I mean, even if he’s just giving you advice on where the rich men hang out. The George in Parnell, apparently, and I was like “sweet mate”. I think I’d just been saying about how I didn’t want to get a job and shit, and he was like “find a rich man, that’ whbat women do, isn’t it?”. Actually, come to think about it, he was a real sexist prick – going on about how much stuff women carry in their handbags, but at the time he seemed funny. I’m gald I didn’t tip him, even if I had to run into the house to get cash. Oh man, apart from paying for the taxi, I didnyt’ spend a cent tonight – how cool is that?

I found myself spending the evening in the bedroom of some apartment overlooking the sky tower and the harbour bridge. There was blue carpet and it all smelt of CKone, because everyone was spraying that on themselves. I realised eventually that the bed was the same one as we sold, and I was like “well no wonder this feels so comfortable” and Jody and I laughed a lot, and then probabyl danced some more.

Oh man, i got the best quote outta Jody tonight – almost “I have a cock in my mouth!” but I can’t remmeber it. Oh wait, yes I can – “if I was drunk enough, I’d do anything with you” – but we were talking about me asking her to sing spice girls with her at Karaoke – honestly. Damn I’ ve been using a lot of dashes.

Tech at noon, group meeting. There’s a computer hooked up on a 56 modem in the lab now, running IE 3.0 and NS 3.0 for us to do testing on, and we discovered that our site doesn’t work at these browser levels. BUGGER! stats from the NSCC say that only .48% of people have used IE 3.0 so we don’t really care about that, but 3.78% of people use NS 3.0 so we gotta do something about that. Well actually, I d unno if we do really, cvos it’s only a couple’o pixels out. And if you’re using a browser that old – even if you’re doing it ironically – you get what you deserve.

Eventually, it’s like 4pm and I’m tired of working in Quest, and having to reboot every half hour, even emails from Kini telling me what she’s eating aren’t inspiring enough, so I go get food with Kate M and Brad, and at 5pm we show up at the TV studios to provide canned laughter for Clayton’s sitcom thingie. It was funny, as were the 3 minuters we made in 1st year that we watched some of. Fuck, first year seems like yesterday, and a life time ago. Arg. I’ve fucked 3 people and snogged 4 others in less than the past year. Nothing like making up for lost time.

After the videos, we head down to London Bar, and Andrew Melville, radio tutor, calls me Joanne and buys me a pint. If people buy me alcohol, I forgive small details, especially when he amends himself to “Joanna” later. After Brad and Kate M have gone, and I’m sitting at the other end of the tables pushed together, Becks Jody and I realise that we’re magenta yellow and cyan in my case. Kate Hamlin buys me a vodka. Stuff is good. Jody Cess and I are the only non radio students – they’re a very inbred group, you know. I laugh a lot observing their social rituals and the inside stories going on. Oh the gossip! Oh the drama!

Eventually we felt like we were under threat of being kicked out becasue we were so loud, and also everyone was hungry. The group seemed to spliter in two, a nd I went with one group down to Glengarry on College Street, which was shut, and many questioned whether or not Randy actually knew where he lived. But we got there eventually, and it was posh. Bex ordered pizza, and got my handful of change to pay for it. There was drinking and drinking – alcohol the radio gang bought w ith the money they’d made f rom the static launch party. They’re not programming it anymore, which sucks cos it’s finally streaming across the Intranet. Dancing to old scary music – Bon Jovi, much stroking of someone’s chest. I got asked if I’d put out for someone in an animal costume, but I think I’d be laughing too much.

“Lydia” by Fur Patrol plays, and it seems group consensus that this is the coolest song ever around right now. It’s such a jilted woman song, and I sing it with a group. Then Jarrod plays Hootie and the Blowfish, and I complain that it’s only ever Saint Pats boys that like this kinda crap, and he’s like “you know nothing about St Pats boys” and I laugh lots, because actually I do. Dylan taught me how boys wank, after all.

Dance dance, drink drink drink, smelly smelly shoes. Gossip gossip, my head hurts, call a taxi, taxi comes, arguing with driver, he’s implying that I’m a whore, runnning into the house for cash to pay, pay, back home, computer on, requests to see my titties, so what else is new? Fuck I’m tired. It w as fun hanging out with people that I don’t know that well. It was also fun to discover the other day that someone I was afraid of hurting has a parallel agenda to mine, so wh00p for that.

More goddam meetings tomorrow, time to feel less sick and then go to bed. It’s been fun. Heh, I amuse me much, thanks Shania. I wonder if everyone’s going to Bar of the Stars now. I wanna go to Karaoke with Olivia again. I was talking to Brad today about Skid Row, and he just had no idea.

I’ve got chills – they’re multiplying

Tuesday August 29th, 2000

I’m too lazy to plug in my scanner, but I did wanna show you my marvelous pen that I got today. But then again, I’m too lazy to find it too, but do believe me, it is cool. I went to some Macromedia conference thing today. Well, I’m not entirely sure what it was. Conference, seminar, infomercial, or something. You can go here and it might tell you what it was. They gave us the pens. I was hoping for a tshirt that said “FLASH!” across it, but I didn’t even get a coffee mug.

My morning started a bit badly, as things do when it’s not even 7 o’clock and you’re up, and was threatening to get worse when Kate told me she wasn’t going in straight away having fallen asleep while working on her seminar, so I thought I had to run to catch a bus. But then it was sunny, so I mellowed out. I’d arranged to meet Andrea and Karen at some place called the Bakehouse Cafe at 8am. The cafe was really nice, although the name was funny for me since I used to work in a place called The Bakehouse Gallery. Anyways, Nick and Jeremy and Helen and Charlotte were there too, so that was cool, we went off enmass. I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting from it, or what kind of crowds I was expecting to be there. We were trying to spot the biggest nerd, but we gave up because there was this guy with the most amazing mullet ever, and he just took all our titles. I was dozing off in the first part of the presentations, and so my loving friends kept hitting me. Meanies.

But then they gave us morning tea! We’re so going to start hanging out at the Aotea Centre more often to see what we can gatecrash. I was more intrigued by later presentations. Dare I say I’m even feeling a tad more inspired now? Well, it was fun learning about new features in Dreamweaver. The guy doing the presentation was fantastic, a real Tony Robins. When he gesticulated with his feet together, he looked like a Backstreet Boy. He made fun of programmers, and did his own sound effects (whooshes and clicks mostly) for every exciting thing he did. He kept tossing out Flash Balls to the audience, especially to girls he thought were cute. I was sitting at the back, so I guess he didn’t see me. Flash balls light up when you bounce them. I don’t think they do anything on the Internet. He talked about “sticky websites”. And magnetic ones too, but that doesn’t sound as funny. Some guy from Apple did a slide show too. What the HELL is a gigaflop? I mean, I guess it’s some big measurement of speed processing or something, but that word is just wrong wrong wrong. They didn’t give us lunch, but they did give us afternoon tea. And purple and black jellybeans. And cds of stuff – skite demos I imagine. They gave away software in a draw too, but I didn’t win. Still, it was fun. But I don’t think I will be purchasing any Macromedia software anytime soon. I tried to convince someone to go halves with me on the $1000 ultradev, because you got two free macromedia coffee mugs with it, but apparently my friends don’t keep that kinda spare change in their pockets.

During the day, I got a text message from a number I didn’t recognize going “so quoted in the herald now huh” and I was like “what the fuck?” so I texted that person back (except I got the # wrong) going “um, say what? who are you?”. When I got home, I picked up the Herald, and discovered that actually, it was true. You can read it here. It’s really nothing much, but hey. Despite the fact that they were quoting my journal, they didn’t bother putting my URL in. What bad journalism!

After the thingie was over at 5pm, I went to Global Sandwich and hung out with (Kate) Morrison for about half an hour, cos she said Brad was on his way down. So I took the bus home with Brad eventually, babbling about the Tony Robbins guy. I was soooooo tired when I got home, I just sat in the lounge not saying anything. But then we had to go supermarket shopping. Brad’s car is still at the garage, and Kate decided she was oging out swimming, which meant I was driving. Or rather, I would have been, if Clayton had turned off my headlights last time he drove my car. Mmm. So I called the AA, and the guy came and jump started me about five minutes later (we live just up the road from an AA base, luckily. Then I drove out of our street, and up the road a fraction, when my car stalled stopping at the lights. Now, that’s not an unusual occurance, because it often stalls at night when I’ve just started and it’s cold. However, it wouldn’t start again, it was totally dead. Luckily I could roll it down the hill in reverse and off to the side of the road. Then of course, my cellphone wouldn’t work, and brad and clay didn’t have theirs on them, so I walked home to call the AA man again. We got a different guy, and this one informed me that there was something wrong with my battery charger or something, and that it’ll probably cost up to $400 to fix. This a minute after I’d been mocking brad needing $500 worth or repairs to his car, going “hey, that’d buy a third of mine”. (Karma!). So that AA man charged me up completely for like ten minutes, but just to be on the safe side, I decided we’d go for a bit of a spin on the motorway before doing the shopping. Brad was like “Let’s go to Hamilton” and I said okay. We were just about at Manuwera when he was like “you know I was joking don’t you?” and I was like “don’t you know I always call everyone’s bluffs, Bradley?” But I didn’t have enough petrol, so we turned around and went to Big Fresh in Mount Wellington.

Goddam what a skanky hole it was! I mean, Big Fresh in general is skanky, but this one was all run down and stuff as well – although I guess it does get props for being 24 hours. But I just felt so….. lower class shopping there. I love our Foodtown Greenlane, I really do. However, we DID manage to buy an 18 pack of toilet paper at Big Fresh. This means, apparently, that we can do a whole lot of shitting. Or play that game where you stick toilet paper up your arse and light it (I’m so glad Kate spent a year in Dunedin!). Or we could tp someone’s house. The possibilities are endless.

I should stop listening to Placebo because it makes me want to take drugs that I haven’t taken before.

I was sitting on the bus today, and I finally realised what I needed to do to get my preloader to work – put in a background – and so when i got to tech I did that, and it worked. And that was good. And then I showed Andrea how to do the HTML scripting to predetermine flash etc and stuff, so I felt real proud. In class we ftp’d it up onto the AUT site, and then we were done. YAY! Karen and Andrea took off to the London bar, while I went up to the radio suite to wait for the kids up there to get their shit together, and we made it in time for happy hour.

So that was cool, and cellphones are definately handy. Three drinks later, we went to Pizza Pizza. THEY SOLD WINE BY THE LITRE!!!!!! We got a litre of red and I texted kini to tell her that I was faking Sydney. I never played Foozeball in Sydney though. We used to play it all the time in first year at Pizza Pizza, but never since then. Nevertheless, Jeremy and I managed to kick ass. Andrea wasn’t in Tutorial D first year, unlike everyone else, but I’m still really glad she came along. Who was there? Umm. At London Bar, it was Andrea me and Karen all celebrating handing in our Flash, and Jeremy who is doing multimedia, but not mmb, and ahhh Peter and Kate M and Clay showed up as did Trudie. And then Clay went to get Kara, and Nigel came along. And Clay and Kara came back. So that was all cool. I canvassed opinions on the end of year dinner that Maree and I are organising.

Can I just say how fucking cool Maree is? She gave me this huge big career counsellor speech last nigth when she came over and found me sitting on my bed going “AAAAAAARTGFHHHHHHHHHH” in sheer terror at the world around me and the past and fuck yeah, she’s just rocking. So anyways, we’re going to organise a dinner for 3rd years only. It’s somethign like eight weeks until it’s all over. BVut I guess that’s good because that so throws me out of my comfort zone, and that’s when i do best, when i’m out of my comfort zone. Apart from like yeah, but that doesn’t count. I realsiedthe other day that I don’t go out all that much – people come here because this house is so cool and we’re all so cool. And while that’s good, it also means that I’m never put in new situations, so I don’t face new challenges or meet new people, and that sucks because i think I need contstant new stugff jsut to keep me running smoothly. I like new experiances.

But Karaoke. Jugs were $4, which was good. Justin said I had nice jugs when I asked him to get the next round. I spilt beer all over myself. Kara, Kate M, Andrea and I sang “Like a Prayer”. There was like no one in the bar at first, which was choiiice. Well, there were a ocuple of hidi people. And the barman’s mother, who Kate M dueted with. Niiiiice Kate. We danced for people. Justin and Peter did a stirring Frank Sinatra rendition. All the boys did a nice Brittany. Kate M and I did Christina. OoohooooHhoh. Clayton and i had a dance together, flashbacking to our glorious victory the last time we were at the Hub. He’s fun. We weren’t very co ordinated though. Peter made me get up to dance to ‘Balimos’ even though Brad wasn’t there. Kate M did the COME ON TIQUERO bit with me. Popular Kate did a stunning solo number. What was the song? I can’t remember. But it was fantastic.

Clayton and Kara went off to something else very early on. Popular Kate was on duty at the hostel for most of the time so she had to leave and took Justin with her. Later, Andrea Jeremy and Kate M all went off to the Link together. I figured I would stay to keep Peter company since he had to wait 90 minutes until his next bus. But then we went to investigate the mysterious mezzanine over the bar, but when we found out it wasn’t actually a mezzanine I decided I was bored, so it was off to the Otara bus for me.

Came home, and fed Tahallulah dry bread and water. I feel so awful for her. I hope Kate never has kids. And my head hurts now. I want some pills. I want some sleep. I hope when I get to bed that I won’t be thinking. I was going to sleep with Kate B last night, cos we were in her bed talking anyways, but then she was going to leave her stereo on, and she’s a huge big duvet hog. I’m still having very vivid disturbing dreams though.

Woah, writing in Dreamweaver, this is odd. But change is a good thing. Okay no, I’m so not going to start out a journal entry talking about Geeky Stuff. So there.

On second thoughts, the sentence did start with a ‘woah’ so instantly y’all would have been thinking about cowboys and indians anyways, so that’s pretty exciting. Damn I wanna cowboy hat. I wanna be Tiffany from Pop Stars.

Kate thought I thought that I was better than Tiffany, but what I was really saying was that I was better than her other lameass little kid fans, so yeah, she was just being dumb. I think it says something to that effect on our fridge anyways. No wait, not the fridge, the white board.

You know, I really wanna change this font but I seem to have lost my properties box. It’s kike, disappeared off the screen, so I can’t. Well, I could do a muffdive into the code, but it’ll look all ugly and stuff and oh my god just shut up Joanna before you embarrass the both of us.

I want chocolate biscuits and milk right now please someone. Thanks

I think maybe this is because I dimmed the light in my room. Or maybe it was stoval recreational stylings, or something like that. Not entirely sure. Either way, I’m in a good mood, I think. Just not very cohesive. But let’s face it – when have I ever been cohesive? I admit that yes I do write my journal very much for readers, but goddam y’all must struggle through it. Thanks, I hope I’m worth the effort. Well, I’m not but hey, it’s five minutes killed, eh. It sucks ‘cos like anything else for me, it seems that telling stories is really only truely satisfying with an audience. So while I like the fact that many of my friends read my journal, it also adds complications. I did the whole secret journal thing for a while but I guess a lack of feedback on that made it unappealing. I didn’t feel motivated enough to keep on writing. I mean, I have a book that I occasionally write in if I have big things to purge, but that’s not daily. Which is why things get exorcized online instead. Mostly that anyways.

Oh woah, I’ve so forgotton what i was writing about, because Shirley rang, and then i had to go make a milk shake, and then yeah, I dunno. Lost the plot. I’m having a Miss Universe Party on Saturday for girlies to do their faces and make up and drink lots and lots of champers and all that good stuff.

Today was okay. We have to post intelligent comments in this forumy thing for 3D in order to gain 20% of our end of the year mark – suck! I posted a comment today suggesting that people need to remember to push enter after changing any numerical values in the lighting panel. So onto it man! Jodie and I had large fits of laughter when we found out that after we’d been bragging to Fleur about how done we were and how smart we were, it turned out we’d been working on the completed image as opposed to the one we were supposed to do ourselves. I came back to class 15 minutes later after the break because I’d stayed outside talking to Derek. I think Stuart knows I’m not overly fond of him – or the class either.

This evening I started filling out this huge big survey I’ve been mailed out, and then I stopped for a while because I still had like 50 pages to go. Then Kate B came around and we watched tv and Pop Stars and did stove things. Sizzle.