Hubris.co.nz

Dear Ladies,

I am alright!Feeling well at the moment.I read in the email of Joanna, that you all want to take me out for an exclusive Luncheon?How sweet to spoil an old Lady this way. But may I suggest another way to celebrate my 85 birthday?
Way not have a try in a exclusive Restaurant ,Place (Oma’s House).
There will be a choise of diffirent menu’s :

Dutch food:
Pea Soup
Red Cabbage,potatoes,meat stewed
Sauerkraut,potatoes rookworst
Kale, potatoes, sausages

Indonesian food :
Rice with some special dishes
Nasi Goreng(Ind fried rice.)
Banan frittes,

Chinese food:
Bami (noodles).
Rice with foe yoeng hai.
Wontong soup.

Japanese food:
Miso soup + Tempura
Japanese style stew,seafood and vegetables
Boiled right at the table
Sukiyaki, meat, tofu,vegetables
Also boiled right at the table.

And ofcourse there will be Fondue Bourginon.
Chilli con carne,
Or just a quich wih asperges and ham.

Well what do you think.
You can make a choise, but please all three the same
of an menu

And if you like a bit of wine with the food, let me know what sort of wine the ladies are drinking.

And ofcourse when you are not to tired from eating, you can take all the furniture out of the garage.

So how do you like my suggestion? OK.But let me know as soon as possible. The old Lady has to do the shopping, Hobbeling through Pack and Save.
And to prepere a good meal for Very Important People.it takessome time.

And don’t forget to tell me at what time you are out of your bed and will arrive here at the gate, so I can open the gate for you.

I am really very happy to see you all here,I haven’t seen you for a lomg time.

And please one request. DON’T BRING ME BUNCHES OF FLOWERS, BOXES OF CHOCOLATE OR JARS OF, CHILLIES.
Bring only a pretty face because you are all glad to see me.
RIGHT! Kiss for you .Love OMA

Sorry for mistakes, I did my best to right correct English

Today was a shopping day. I bought a pale pink cardigan today. While I bought the less fluzzy of two options, this one has pearl buttons, and beading designs on it. The label says “vintage” but it’s from Farmers. It’s like, and it kind of pains me to use this word, almost prissy. But I kept thinking “what would Willow wear?” when I was trying it on, and I think I got confuzzled. We’ll see how it ends up.

Later in Waikanae at the Minx Factory Shop, I was totally like “omg, look at all these totally cute shoes!” and again, wondering how they would fit in with my lifestyle with their multi-coloured wonderness. Minx make shoes in big sizes, but apparently I have huge big slabs of fat on top of my basic foot structure (well, this is probably true) because the 11s were tight and bulgy on my flesh (as opposed to my toes). I ended up trying on size 12s instead (twelves! You know that horrible band Lit and that horrible song “You make me come. You make me complete. You make me completely miserable”, and in the video they have Pamela Anderson lolling around, and minature members of the band dance on top of her upturned feet? Well I could host the motherfucking (and grumpy) Polyphonic Spree on my meatplates. Apparently. Anyways, I got these ones, in a black 12:

They’re like, totally cute. And they have polka-dot lining, which, when I was at Oma’s afterwards and she was talking about picking out her coffin I suggested she pursue for her lining. Then she pondered whether if she’d be cremated in the coffin, or if they took bodies out, and if that aws the case, did they still have Opa’s coffin, and could she just use that instead? Of course, Oma is half the size that Opa was, so that wouldn’t work out. She said that she’d worried when we grandchildren carried Opa’s coffin briefly that it was too heavy for Jacinta, and she was happy that she’d be a lot lighter. I suggested she could be carried with one hand, like a pizza, or a tray of drinks. Is this a conversation any of you have had with your grandmother? It was kind of strange. It started when she was talking about how she didn’t want to be kept alive (I wouldn’t either), partly because it’d be no fun for the family, so I suggested that we’d play poker around her bed, and then Mum suggested Strip Poker, and it’s just all wrong wrong wrong.

Fun fact: at my last job I used to work in teh same building and vaguely for the same people as Karen. In my new job, which starts on Tuesday if you were keeping track, I will be working on websites for the organisation that Anji works for, and if you want to keep the family connection going also my aunt Diz.

Good times. You know what? Maybe I’m developing a Pleasantville costume for myself. Freaky. But perhaps if I worry about being like, too totally cute I’ll just remind myself of the little pockets of air that I got yesterday. I could put someone’s eye out with those things, but it would be a happy death for all concerned.

The Abstract:
You may or may not have noticed that I haven’t updated Hubris in quite a very long time, and normally that’s a sign that I’ve sunk into the big D again. In this case, that’s not the case. I’ve just been incredibly busy. First there was a bit of a sexplosion, and then there was putting out a whole issue by myself, and then another whole issue by myself in half the time, and then there was a trip to Wellington and the Hawkes Bay. Oh, and due to the Sexplosion, there was an underlying current of fear, with my period being three weeks late, broken condoms and not being sure who the father was. I’m back now, and things have calmed down a little, hence this update .

The Fuller Schbobble:
Well! Where do we start? When I last updated, we were going to have the Meet Market party and I was inviting you all. None of you showed. How rude. This led to me shagging one of Lance’s young friends, because Lance made the deliberate mistake of leaving us alone together very late at night adn I was bored of talking to the guy about how miserable he was without his girlfriend. I thought he needed some cheering up. I think it worked. He said “I’ve never had it like that before”. I laughed lots. In the morning, he asked me for my cellphone number. I was like “What? Why?” and then instantly felt mean. Lance has managed to refrain from hassling him since. The boy comes into the office sometimes to buy bus tickets but avoids looking in my direction, poor wee thing.

Later that week, I had a drink with a boy who, let’s face it, I’ve had a thing for ever since I realised that running away while he was sleeping was the stupidest thing I did last year. He was absolutely lovely, and we were getting on so damn well, swapping life stories and talking about how much we hated ‘Sex in the City’ and how totally empowering it wasn’t, and he said that sometimes you sleep with people just because you want to, and I said that sometimes you sleep with people because they give you the dirtiest sexiest look you ever received in your whole life “which is why I went home with you” and he laughed. I told him that I wished that I’d got to know him last year. Eventually he had to go, but he asked if I wanted to hang out later that night, and suggested that he should come over to my house and bring a bottle of wine. I think my jaw just about dropped off, and then when he kissed me outside the pub on Ponsonby Road, my knees went woozy. Luckily KateH picked me up then, otherwise I would have been wandering around all dazed for a couple more hours, no doubt. He came over a couple of hours later, and well, I was two hours late for work the next day. It was lovely, so much more intimate than the last time – I guess because this time I fancied him, and wasn’t in love with someone else/terrified of being hurt again, and because well, I think he’d learnt a whole lot about foreplay in the past year. I called him delicious and beautiful and both things were applicable, in the slightly more metaphorical sense of the word for ‘Delicious’. He called me a star, and now he has left the country. Sigh. I’m sure that in a parallel dimension, we have our timing right and everything is blissful. Damn you Parallel Dimension Joanna! Why do you get all the good things?

Of course, then my period was late. And later. And later. And then I found a broken condom under the bed. I was incredibly freaked out and spent an hour sitting on the floor at work semi under my desk crying. The lady at the health clinic here at work said that a test wouldn’t be accurate for like, three weeks after the event, but I went and bought the cheapest test in the supermarket anyways. When it came out negative, I got drunk. A week later I did another test, and it was still negative. I alternated between thinking about abortion and thinking about raising the baby. Of course, I didn’t know if it was Andrew’s or Ben’s, but I thought there was more of a chance of it being Ben’s, which is what I would have prefered, but I didn’t want to mess up the life of either of them, and I was all like “arrrgh” until eventually I decided that yes, I actually would be able to deal just fine with having a baby, and I could work from home four days a week and come in for one, but finally when I got to Wellington and managed to unstress about work, I got my bleed. And it hasn’t stopped since.

So yes, that was the sex. When I got to Wellington a week and a bit ago, Mum asked me about my sex life, so I told her, asking her to please not tell Anji that I gave my ex boyfriend a blowjob in the bathroom at Submission, because I’d get a fearsome telling off. Mum said “At least someone has morals”. Later, when we were getting our family portraits, she said to me “oh they told me that you don’t need to wear more makeup than usual for the photos”. I was like “umm, this is what I wear every day”. Mothers eh? Bless. If she doesn’t want to KNOW, she shouldn’t ASK. That’s all.

I also caught up with KateB in Welly which was lovely and made me feel more like a real person again. I think she’s doing really well, and has found something that suits her much better. I do worry though that her b/f doesn’t like pirate jokes. Other Welly things were finally getting some sleep, doing more reviews for the magazine which I’d rushed to finish all in one week instead of the usual two, and Oma taking us out to Logan Brown, which was amaaaaaaaazing food, and the most professional service I’ve had in a very long time. Exquisite. And not cheap at all.

Then on last Tuesday, Karen and I drove up to Napier. It was a pleasant journey, mostly. We found a nice enough backpackers to stay in – its failing was that there were no windows in the room, which made it very spooky to be called on your cellphone when the lights were off and you had no idea what the time was and wondered why the fuck your work was calling you in the middle of the night when it was actually 8.46am. Napier itself was very nice. We wandered around places and found a lovely bar called The UltraLounge. My Pina Colada had no taste at all, so I tried to explain that as nicely as I could to the barman and he made me an orgasmically good Mango Daquiri instead. We had seconds. Then I squirmed in discomfort as a loud British wanker ate all his sashimi and then complained about it. I hope I wasn’t like that man.

On the Wednesday, we went with The Grape Escape and got driven to some wineyards. Seven in fact – apparently this makes us legends, because that was in four hours, including lunch with The Best Cheese in the World at the Sileni Estate. The usual is four or five. We stayed another night in Napier, and went to Havelock North the next day, and also I made Karen go to Ocean Beach with me. It was fun. I frolicked in the sand. That night we stayed in Hastings at a Carnie backpackers and opened Macademia nuts with a big rock. I managed to buy four bottles of wine – a Trinity Hills Pinot Noir, a Mission Estate Reisling, a Brooklands Deco Chardonnay and a Te Mata Estate Rose as well as a bottle of Sour Apple Schnapps from Prenzels. No wonder the phone line got cut off back in Auckland. The guy at Brooklands was teh best, telling us long stories. Was it Brooklands? I hope it was. I will check my wine when I get back. Other people were too wanky or busy or what have you. Prenzels is the best because you can try whatever you want and I wanted to try everything. Mmmmmmmmm.

Now I am back in Auckland of course, and work is not as hectic as it has been, which is nice. I’m sad that Issue 10′s cover was lacking in our actual coverstories and that my Pacifier story didn’t get a title, but that’s my fault for not leaving clearer instructions for Designer Brad. Tomorrow I have schedualed an appointment with myself to sit down and discuss what I want to submit for the media awards. One of these days I’ll actually do the accounts for advertising sales too, but the girl who does all our invoicing said (in exchange for me scanning photos for her) “Please don’t do them until I’m ready for them”. Yay her. I’m going to Wellington again in less than two weeks for the ASPA conference. Excellent. And what else? Blah stuff, nothing too important.

We have a new flatmate in the very charming shape of Will, an American friend of Megan’s. We still need one more though.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten to say things, but really, this has gone on for hours now, so I might stop this entry here for now.

Well well well. So now it’s the 4th of January, according to my computer clock, although my computer has just had 435 infected files wiped off it (even McAfee was infected) and $200 of repairing done, so I’m not entirely sure if I can trust it. Then again, it’s Saturday today, and I start back at work on Monday, which is the 6th, so I guess it must be right.

Right now I am waiting for the AA to come and jumpstart my car. Godbless one month grace periods when you’ve forgotten to pay for your membership. Once I have my car started, and assuming that I don’t have to take it for a long drive on the motorway, I am going to go and try to spend $200 upgrading my wardrobe for my new job, which I start on the 20th of January. I am very excited.

What other things are there that I should mention? Oh yeah, I guess I should talk about the past couple’o weeks. Well. I think when I last wrote I had just moved into my new house? Let me go check. Yes, that’s right. Then I had my work Xmas party, and a couple’o days later I flew down to Wellington. And got sick. So very very sick. I had huge big elephant testicles in my throat and a temperature of 38.5 when Mummy took me to the doctor on Christmas Eve. He took some blood to see if I had glandular fever because my neck was so swollen (“What about if I touch here?” “OWWWWWWWWWWWW”). I cried lots – not at the bloodtaking, but at the being so very fucking sick, and being unable to eat, or hardly drink, and unable to enjoy the company of the Hot German Girls (friends of Ammy’s) who I had found on the street and willingly taken in.

Christmas Day itself was pretty much a blur because I tried to sleep through most of it in order to get better and to also escape family strife. Needless to say, after suffering two hour traffic holdup on the way to Oma’s in Paraparaumu, as a family we pledged that next Christmas will be spent AT HOME and if any relies want to see us they can bloody well come to our house themselves. I got books books books, and stripey socks, and a ticket to the BDO, and money for a new cellphone (yay!) and ummm other stuff, all of which was very cool. But I couldn’t eat Xmas goodies, or drink or even eat chocolate mousse cos the liquor made my inflamed gums burn. OH THE HUMANITY! And while the penicillin made my throat get better, my gums got worse and worse, so finally I went to the dentist on the 27th of December.

Tuesday, July 16th 2002

Last night I was reading The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami in bed. Have you read it? I’m not sure if it’s out yet – I have a publisher’s copy of it from my book pimp Karen. Well, it’s short stories, and it seemed like every single story made me want to write a response to it, each story related to something I’ve had or experienced or felt. And I didn’t write any of it down, because i figured if I started doing that then I’d never sleep, but I have to put at least one down, and it’s about ‘The Kangaroo Communique’. A department store worker writes a letter to a customer he’s never met because of her complaint letter, and he tells her all these really random things and makes her an audio tape of him saying even more random things, and it totally made me think of you and your twenty three page letter that you sent me. He was crazy, and you were dorky and self concious, but I’m really glad that you did act “so out of character that the audience would be booing if this was a film because it wasn’t realistic” to paraphrase you badly. And yeah, that was it, basically.

Today I meant to get up at a decent hour, but I was dreaming that I was posessed and it was rather traumatic and I hope it wasn’t supposed to be my religious ephiphamy, because I can’t even spell the world, let alone believe in it. Also, I could see my breath from above the duvet, and I have lime green sheets and a pink duvet cover, so I was in no hurry to get out of bed. But eventually I did make it up, and I was domesticated and cleaned the kitchen. And then later KateH on MSN told me to go and meet her for coffee, so I unloaded the freezer and unplugged it and left it wide open to defrost, and went ot Parnell to meet her. We sat in the courtyard of Strawberry Alarm Clock and she ate my mushrooms on toast cos if you give her an inch she takes a mile, and discussed friends of hers that this audience hasn’t heard about and decided we should go and beat them up. And we made tentative plans to go to Fu on Friday, which’ll be kickass. Also on Friday night, I’m picking Bopha up at the airport, so YAY, i will have my darling flatmate back. I’m grumpy at Clay tonight cos he didn’t say anything about the amazing transformation of our freezer from a tiny icey hole into the ice free environment that it is now. I even scraped the ice off all the containers in there with food he’s cooked and squirreled away like a rodent so that you can tell what they are. He has NEVER cleaned out the freezer. Grrr. If he doesn’t clean the fridge sometime real soon, I will spit tacks. Either that or just sulk at him all the time. That’s always real effective. Not.

My books have gone slightly mouldy from being stacked in my wardrobe, lovely. I might go and alphabetise them right now cos there’s no one to talk to online. I want to go out! Tomorrow is my last ever day of holidays, really, since in Septmeber I will probably be working full time cos Bridget is going away for a conference for three weeks and Teri will be leaving soon after. Shit, last ever day of holidays – maybe I should get up at 9am and then get drunk all day long, by myself, like the misery guts that i am. That sounds like a solid idea. Either that, or I could stay in bed.

I got to use my first green sticker in my Vinne’s Know Your Flow Journal today. Exciting! I want to buy a stereo and so I’m tossing up between that or new glasses. The glasses are probably more important, right? Of course, both are dependant on me finding the cheque from Oma. I wonder if it would be wrong to write her an email saying that I need to go to San Francisco. Yeah, it probably would, eh?

Ooh kickass, I found the cheque buried in my wardrobe. Excellent. She wrote on the envelope “always be loved” and that’s just so lovely, it’d be worth so much more than the cheque to know that I would always be loved.

Arrrgh, so much stuff in my closet that needs to be cleaned of mould. My boots are all spotty – luckily it wipes off. And so many lists of memories, and also, the original Safekeeping letter, and that’s weird. But! I found two of my favourite necklaces, and some lipgloss. Kickass.

Add to that my pipes, a tiara, a copy of 6000 word version of ‘Intimacy’ that I thought I’d lost (you can read the 3000 word version in four parts on Swinney if you haven’t already (and you’re into extended short semi-fictional stories’o angst). I discovered a huge big box’o mixed stuff, so I’m retrieving stuff I want from it, throwing some things out and putting everything that I can’t be bothered dealing with for now back in it. Is it normal to get enthusiastic about cleaning your room only at 1am?

Hmmm, i just read through the 6000 word version and I’m not sure if I like it better or worse. It’s funny in reflection, cos when I wrote it at the start’o 2001, I got accused of just wanking on paper but then there’s things that have happened since then that reminded me at the time of the story, and it’s like I was writing my own foreshadowing – or my own wishlist, or whatever. Okay, I’m rambling. I’m going to install Wolfenstien 3D now cos i found the disk for it, even though I should go to bed with Murakami again. Night!

Sunday, July 7th

My grandmother has this game that she likes to make us play when we go visit her that’s called “Putting stickers on the stuff you want”, so that by the time she moves into a resthome or dies, all of her antiques and ornaments will have already been claimed. I’ve taken a more practical approach and only labeled her fridge and her 17 inch computer monitor. When I told her those were the things I was after, she offered me a thousand dollars os I could buy myself a bigger monitor, which I managed to wrangle out of, and then told me that my fridge was a germ breeding ground and i must buy a new one and send the bill to her. Unfortunately, much as I hate our fridge, I can’t do that either. I felt much better when she was talking about how the Catholic doctor gave her a diaphram after she had Mum to use instead of condoms. It was a weird conversation. She also told me that she stopped getting migraines after she had a hystorectomy, but I don’t think I’ll be trying that one for quite a while yet, thank you very much. I do want to have children, like not just in a “oh that kid on TV is so cute, I want a baby NOW” or a “hey, if i had a kid then I wouldn’t have to worry about my future” kinda way. Having children is very definitely a part of my life plan, even if it may eventually mean using one of Anji’s eggs. But we’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, i guess.

So yeah, that’s what today was spent doing; visiting Oma with Anji. When I got home, I went to bed to avoid talking to Mum and Neil, cos they just reaaaaaaaally bug me. I HATE being in Wellington, this town is making me fucking miserable this time around. It just seems like there’s ghosts everywhere, and I dunno, it’s sucking lots. On Friday night, KateB and I had a really nice dinner at Saffron with two bottles of wine, and then we went and had cocktails at Jet Lounge (downstairs of course, although they weren’t admittign the general public). Double Fudge Martinis from there are my new favourite Mmmmmmm. But it’s such a fucking long expensive cab ride home that I was forced to call my paretns aroudn 10.30pm to get them to pick us up – that saved $25 taxi, plus however much more I would have spent on drink. I was absolutely trollied at that stage, and I tell you, there is nothing worse than being drunk in your parents’ house waiting desperately for them to fuck off to bed so you can raid their liquor cabinet – unless it’s waking up with a hangover the next day and them asking you all sorts of stupid questions. So Saturday was spent running away to lunch with Anji and Karen and hten watching videos with Anji.

Mlaaaaaaargh. At least I’m going fora long leisurely day’o shopping by myself tomorrow. I need some cool pants, and hopefully maybe a skirt, and a top. And i will gaze wistfully at the makeup in Napolean and try not to give into temptation. I’m also gonna get some new innersoles for my Birkis and have lunch with Karen. Kickass. In three more sleeps, I get to go home to Auckland YAY. Right now I’m reading ‘The Vinter’s Luck’ and I don’t really like it. Sodomising an angel just doesn’t sit right with me. Plus, yeah, I don’t like the characters, adn I don’t believe that the basic premise behind the whole thing is believeable, and the writing style seems a little off. So HA! Take that all you NZ literary snobs. Also, did I mention how I’d given up on reading ‘Posession’ cos it bored me stupid? I saw a promo for the movie of it – not suprisingly, the characters in it have miraculously become young and goodlooking. It makes em happy though, cos horrible Gwenyth is in it, so HOPEFULLY, I got it wrogn when I thought that she was going to be in “The Passion” and hopefully no one is making that into a movie, cos if they try, I will just fucking cry and cry. Posession, Passion – they’re pretty similar, right? Not that I’ve felt either for a little while. Well, passion, yes. Possession, not for years, and I think maybe I really really miss it.

On Friday, I made hte long drive up to Paraparaumu to see Oma. Pretty much as soon as I got there she said “You look fatter than when I last saw you! Have you put on weight?” Thanks Oma. And she kept reiterating it all through lunch, while trying to get me to have seconds. Hmmm. But it was still kinda cool. We talked about opera and April Fools and other stuff, as you do. After an hour and a half, I figured that was enough so I went home.

In the evening i made blackbean eggplant stirfry and there were lots of txts and phonecalls to coordinate our activities. Eventually Anji and I headed over to Ayna’s to listen to play records and chill before going out (just to be different). Charlotte and Alex came over, and so that was excellent because they’re both absolutely lovely. Charlotte used to flat with Bopa in Welly and she said that Bopa is mellow and tidy, which is very good news. And Alex is just a total sweetheart. Fatty showed p too, and him Anji and I headed down to Sub9 for DJ Zinc. The others were gonna follow us later.

Half a green alligator later, it was all excellent. When we started dancing, the dancefloor was empty, so it was really interesting to see what Sub9′s actual layout was like (“Oooh, so that’s where that hot chick snogged me before you scared her off at New Years, fatty!). and At first it was more cafe-ish music, and I wanted more “baaaaaaaaaaaaummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” farting sorta bass, but it got there. I like dancing! Dancing number one excellent fun. I wish I could dance like the people who move their feet around lots and lots and lots though. I like watching people in Wellington dance. Si being the dear sweet boy that he is kept coming up to me to run his fingers up my neck and along my shoulders and up and down my back to make me giggle in pleasure. Tehehe, I like people touching me like that in those circumstances. Strangely enough though, he ran away when I told him that he was making my nipples errect. Dance dance dance. There was a pretty green laser shooting at the floor near me opening up portals when it wasn’t being a cloverleaf. However, at one stage, I had a freakout, cos the people were all too close and it was hot and well, you know how claustraphobic I get when people are bumping me so Anji and I went outside for a bit to chill.

When we went back in, we decided to dance in the bit between the door and the main dancefloor, which was completely empty so there was lots and lots and lots of room to go crazy in, so we did. It was funnn. I like dancing like a mad dancing thing. So we danced and danced and danced and danced. And danced. Etc. Etc. Eventually I went to the bathroom and it felt so weird to be walking that I was almost convinced that my feet were floating. My stomach started to complain after a second red bull and my temple hurt and both Anji and I were weary so we agreed that we’d had an excellent night and that we should end it on an up note, and so we left. We gave the taxi driver directions in stereo and he laughed at us. Whilst walking up the hill, I realised that it was raining adn that the rain felt absolutely lovely on my skin, little kisses from angels all over me so I stood in it for a very long time, while Anji laughed at me from the inside. In the lounge, Xmas lights were turned on and m2, and she rolled a wooden massager all over me and I was very very blissful. Then she gave me a valium and so I took a shower and had lovely lovely sleep.

Today I had coffee with Hulita at Olive which was cool, cos their cappachinos are the best in the entire country, and it was of course wonderful to see her again. Then I went home and went back to bed, because i was more than a little tired from the previous night. In the evening me and Mum&Neil went over to the Bentons’ for dinner. KateB and I giggled together lots, as we do, and our new cussword is “Bunny Rabbits” in any form or variation. We also had a big big arguement about exploitation with her dad which is too hard to explain here, but basically involves a British movie star currently featuring in a movie that’s fairly significant movie to NZ, and a boy we went to high school with. And we played Balderdash, good wholesoem fun, and I won. ANd now I am super tired so I will go read more ‘Survivor and go to bed, probably.

So how are we all then? I’m fantastic. I’ve had a brilliant day. My cellphone’s been beeping constantly, and I’ve just talked to all these wonderful fantastic people and it’s just been ace. Yeah. Sorry, when I get all happy sometimes I just can’t express it very well. I think I’m better at expressing sadness or longing, which is dumb. So I will try and just explain how at peace I am right now, how mellow I seem, and how secure I feel, but I can’t really. It’s kind of like waking up every day to the sun shining on a spiritual level, but that sounds too hippy.

So I got presents that made me happy (wok! toolkit! lots and lots of books! big day out ticket!), and I gave presents that made me happy because they made the receivers so happy, and that was fantastic. And then the Bentons came over, and that was ace too, because surrogate parents and all. Hayley came over for lunch, and she was sweetness and light and just lovely. I rang Olivia and told her we were having Tuna steaks for dinner, and that it made me think of her. She said “every girl should think of me when they’re eating tuna”. I talked to Kini and told her we ate eggplant which made me think of her. I talked to Leigh last night and that was choice. And there was phone calls to Kate B and Maree and texts with Shirley, and then there was an email from Justine which said she was in Wellington. Oma came over for dinner , and I got feisty with her and threatened to kick her ass if she didn’t do our dishes. But it’s never polite to beat up your grandmother, so after she went, I went and met Justine.

Hi, I’m Joanna, I’m studying Anthropology with Justine at Canterbury – I’m originally from Wellington, but my boyfriend wanted to do his masters in engineering which is why we moved down. We’ve moved around a bit, but we mostly live in Fendalton. I took her on a drive-through tour of the city, and probably bored her to tears, but hopefully i was more entertaining that family watching Notting Hill. I haven’t met anyone off the ‘net in aaaaages. The last person I met was umm well apart from that, it was the fabulous Leigh. Meeting people is easy. Now.

Karen and I just watched the end of a very odd movie staring the Pet Shop Boys. Spiceworld was much better. Meatloaf has had a very diverse range of movie roles, hasn’t he? Dances with Wolves is on now, but I’m not paying any attention – I just like the sound on to cover the ticking of the lounge clock. Tick tick tick tick tick. Does it make me paranoid that I can’t stand to hear it?

I really really wanna watch Last of the Mohicans now, cos we were playing the music from it before, but no, it’s a goddam Kevin Costner Injun movie on, innit? I didn’t get any cds for Xmas, but I really cannot complain. In fact, what I can do is be absolutely stoked with life in general and I am.

I’m on my way
From A U T to hamilton today
ahuh ahuh ahuh

Ahuh. Project reports were all proffesionally bound and handed in today. I am free. Life is good!

Hi Michael Shadbolt. I liked your set on Pulp last year.

Second night of the expo went much better than the first, because I was handing out name tags and was therefore able to grab people’s attention as they came in, and also because I was wearing my New Media Pants. So there. Some interesting oppotunities have arisen as a consequence, which i will get back to you on as more details surface. But for today, I’m going to Hammy to see Andeee and Amy and go to Shihad/Weta/Fur Patrol, wahoo! Suck though that Andee doesn’t have a ticket, but we might scrape a doorsale through. Hopefully. Either way though, it’ll still be fabo to see her and drink instant coffee and hope to bump into the old boys and stuff.

Tomorrow night I’m back to Auckland for Trudie’s 21st, maybe Kate Orange’s 21st and Justin’s farewell party, and then on sunday morning, I’m flying to welly for a week. I’m getting picked up at the airport and then it’s straight off to Oma’s house for lunch, wahoo. So yeah, busy busy. I guess i should go pack now, but that’s boring. All I’m taking to hammy is cheap wine and a change of clothing anyways.

Going out after the Expo was fun – hundreds of us at the London Bar. Clay was there with his tv buddies, so that was cool. Jodie was very sly, which impressed me. I had a conversation with Ben and Kyle about celebacy (I can’t even spell it) and romance as opposed to sex, and it amused me. Later at Macdonalds, Nick Jodie and I were talking about scoring tech people, and when I said I’d snogged a person from tech, Nick was very sure that I’d snogged Brad, which I haven’t, and I never ever will, because no, that’d be like ewww, snogging a brother. And we all know I’d never screw the crew (again). So that was disturbing. The fact that I only paid for one bottle of wine the entire night and yet got bollickingly drunk on drinks bought for me was not disturbing. And having six business cards when i got home was impressive, I thought.

Okay, really must go now, I guess. I like driving, but I don’t like driving in Hamilton – I always get lost. Still, needs must! xoxo “Maybe later – I’ve got creamy goodness in my mouth right now”

Tuesday 12; January, 1999

Jo and I were waiting in the van outside of J’ville Mall for Mum to buy flowers for Oma, listening to @ctive 89fm (which isn’t half as cliched as it appears from that spelling). Because it was so hideously early in the morning, it was still the breakfast show (Felix wakes up djs and laughs at their houses), and they had a ‘classic track flashback’. We were SO estatic to hear ’3am’. I so so so wanna be the KLF. So that set us off in good spirits.

We had to stop off at Oma’s, so that she could give me some ‘travelling money’. I know, I know, I’m a spoiled brat. What am I supposed to do about it? It costs a lot to set up a new flat you know. And stuff.

Simon took ages to cram all his stuff into the cars, and he ended up leaving shit like his stereo with my mommy, so that she could bring it up two days later in the van-mobile. Jo got in the car with Simon’s momma, and I got into his car. We agreed to stop in Taihape for lunch, cos we figured that with his boyracingwannabe driving, we’d end up miles and miles ahead. We didn’t though, and had only 20 minutes to spare in Taihape (at the reject jean store). While in Taihape, our entronage reccomends the Brown Sugar Cafe for reaaaaaally good coffee and foodage. I remember the good old days (ie – before I went to Japan) when we used to have picnics during long road journeys instead of stopping in cafes. In fact, there weren’t even cafes – only tearooms. It’s so much cooler to be driving reaaaally fast listening to reaaaaaaaally loud music (even if ears do pop when windows are wound up – no air con in the honda accord) than sitting in the back seat feeling carsick like I used to. Did that make sense? I’ve just finished a bottle of wine so I hope so. This is all written post-humouressly by the way. Oh god, I wrote btw, but then had to erase it. That’s what nearly two years on chat’ll do to an otherwise nice girl. Annnnnyways………

So yeah, whenever we stopped and met up, it was a very joyous occasion for me and Jo. I’m not sure what the people in Bombay thought of two girls kissing (that’s not SNOGGING, sorry to disappoint). Oh well, I’m sure they needed it. She’d managed to charm Si’s momma into sharing the stereo, and they sat smoking away in the air conded mitsubishi as happy as Larry.

Simon’s mother had booked us into the Mount Eden Motel, on Balmoral Road. Shihad stayed there too, but I guess we’ll get to that a little later. We had to go to the shore to drop Jo off at Matter’s, so that was a laugh and a half. Then we had advacado on bread for dinner. Mmmmmm.

I got on the phone like really soon after we got there, and so Si and I headed up Mount Eden Road to Shirley’s house. Classy Classy place, so near town, but it’s $120 a week each for her and her sis which is a bit too much, so she’s looking for a new place. I’d love to live in her house, only we want somewhere that’s bigger than two bedrooms.

I was a trifle worried about where we were to sleep, since it was a one bedroomed unit. I mean, I’m grown up enough to not mind having to sleep in the same bed as a boy, or an older woman, BUT I hate sharing a bed at the best of times, and especially in sticky sticky hot summer. As it turned out though, it was semi-sweetass, cos I got to sleep on the sofabed in the lounge while Si and Si’s Momma did the Oedipul thing. Well, not quite. She SNORES sooooooo loud man. I fully couldn’t sleep.