Hubris.co.nz

Saturday 13; Febuary, 1999

Hmmmm. Okay. Saturday. What the fuck did I do all day long? I really have no idea, eh. No comprehension at all.

I do know that I rang up Kate, who said she’d come and pick me up sometime after six. So I went and put on some makeup. I used my astonishingly styley blue and green stuff, making the blue go halfway across my eye from the inside out, and the green extend out to the far corners. If you have no idea what I mean, here’s a photo of me only in the green

this is from my seventh form fancy dress ball

As you can see, the colour is quite, quite vivid. And don’t I have styley eyebrows? So yeah. Kate showed up and honked her horn a lot, so I had to run out the door. I clambered into the backseat of her boyracing GT (I think that’s what it is – maybe it’s a crx) with Maressa cos Theresa was on the front seat. So we were just about to start off when Kate asked me what I was drinking. I said “red wine” and asked if they had a bottle opener. They didn’t so I had to get out to get one. This is where it gets interesting, because the ceiling in that car is low enough at the best of times, but it’s a real bitch to get in and out of especially. So I was trying to clamber out, when wonder of wonders, my foot got caught in the seatbelt. Guess who ended up sprawled on the footpath? That’s okay though – I played it really cool, lying on my back and whistling casually like it was what I meant to do all along. I think they bought it too.

So yeah, we had a very scary drive back to Kate’s, but made it there somehow in one piece. We settled down on their deck to do a little drinking, and I met her flatmate Matt (yet another one). He’s a window glazier or however you spell it. Vaguely cute, but a stoner, and basically, I am so over the ‘stoners are cute’ thing. People who are a little bit more aware are definatly a bonus. We also ordered pizza, and I was greatly relieved that it was a different Eagle Boys deliverer than the one who’d laughed at me the last time I was at Kate’s.

I only had about half a bottle of red, while the others knocked back lots of vodka and orange. Eventually we finally left the house (it took the girls like 3/4 hour to get glammed up enough). So yeah, we walked up to Ponsonby Road, which took like 20 minutes or so. There were so many drunk people and stuff all crowding to get the best view of the road. I hate crowds. I guess I’m slightly claustraphobic like that really.

The parade was actually really boring for me, I think – it was all very lacklustre, and I couldn’t see very much. I mean, I’ve never really liked parades anyways, and this just seemed really tired. But I’m still all in favour of having it. There were like 200,000 people there that were fully getting into it, so that’s cool. I’m just I dunno – bitter or something.

Then we went to Calabria or something like that, where Theresa used to work. Kate brought a gelato, and I begged and begged her to get Pistachio flavour, which she eventually did, but she said I couldn’t have any. Bitch, so I had to buy my own. Both of us ended up eating like less than half of ours each – think of the waste and the starving children in Africa, man!

They decided to go back to their flat for more drinkies and catch a cab into town later, so I walked back with them, and called a taxi to take me home straight away. It got there like 5 minutes later, so I didn’t realise, and stupidly went up to sit at the end of the driveway a little bit later. I waited for like 40 minutes before ringing up the taxi place again, who sent me an ‘urgent’ one. My cab driver was really cool, too. We had a big long chat about ummm I don’t remember what, actually. About Hero and stuff.

I got home and went online. Clayton came home too so I chatted to him for a bit – gave him a glass of red wine which I think he dissed. Honestly, what’s wrong with all you people who prefer white over red? That’s just nuts. So what if I’m so classy the wine I buy is $6.95 a bottle???

That’s okay though, cos I polished it off by myself, up till nearly 5am again. Memo to Joanna – must reset body clock, must reset body clock.

Friday 5; Febuary, 1999
I finally rang the people at Farmers and they told me that my bed is being delivered tommorrow – YAY. So y’all can go and fill out the form in anticipation. I’ve only had like five offers so far, which is shocking. Come on, you all know you want me.

Hahahah sorry, excuse me. I’m severely hungover now (feb 6). Oh yeah, I guess I should explain how that came to be, huh?

Well I had a nothing day – I kept waking up in the morning, which sucked. Maybe it’s because my curtains are nearly transparent. Light is so annoying. I was just so dead all day long, and I fully did not feel like going out. However, I knew that if I didn’t leave the house, I would sit around moping. Kate didn’t wanna come pick me up, so she gave me garbled directions to her new house in Ponsonby. I took a bus into town, then a taxi from the Sheraton.

The taxi driver was really nice, and a bit into Astrology, which was amusing. He was telling me about his 16 year old step daughter, who’s a bit ‘fiesty’ at times because she’s a Libra. And I talked to him stacks about my course and stuff. He was choice. So yeah.

Kate and Theresa made me wait outside until the security lights to go on so that they could give me the proper tour of their house, including their two inch hot tub, yellow lounge, and assorted bedrooms. It’s a very cool house, and I’m quite jealous, only I do love this flat dearly too. We inflated two airbeds, and that was all the furniture that they had. But that’s okay, cos I got to drink (white – ick) wine from cool plastic cups.

A whole bunch of Theresa’s friends from the Shore and from Dunnivegas came over, and we all sat around for ages talking about about the most do-able cartoon characters and stuff. It was so very fifth form, because it was all girls. I remember I got warm fuzzies cos Kate told me that Theresa really liked me, and Marissa said she liked me too, so yay. I’m so easily pleased, man. Then everyone went to town except for me and Kate, so we went next door because the neighbours had invited us over.

There were three guys there, and two girls, all sitting around on the balconey, talking and drinking. I guess they were around 25. So we sat and yacked to them for a while. One of the chicks had a kid, and so we told her about Jess. They were really cool, except that I think Kate felt a bit ashamed of me because I just wanted to get horizontal (as I do when I drink) so I was lying on their balcony. We left when two of the guys and the chick with a baby disappeared to have a threesome. But the baby wasn’t there. I should probably just make that clear.

Back to Kate’s house we went. I climbed into her huge big clawfoot bathtub. It was like being in a massive egg, deliciously cool, and suprisingly comfortable. I could have stayed in there forever, if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to go and vomit. I think it was the mug of Absolut Citron that caused that. I’m not used to drinking quality vodka, you see.

So yeaaaaaah. Umm. I lay with my head on the toilet seat going “KATE! Make it stop! Make the room stop spinning”. She just laughed and laughed at me. I thought she didn’t have any hairties, but I woke up with my hair in a pony tail, so I guess she put my hair back for me. I was so ashamed that I wanted to die, but since she spent all last year in Dunedin, Excessive Drinking Capital of the World, she just laughed. I guess this was payback for her coma’ing in my bathtub when we were 15.

Then we ordered pizza. Of course, there was no phone in her flat so I had to ring it off my mobile, (021 21 27 920 hahaha I so wanna be rung) which took ages cos I had to punch in like our location and stuff. I don’t remember giving the guy our address, but I did tell him I had $20 and I wanted an apricot chicken pizza. He told me that he was going to send over a deal with garlic bread and chips and pepsi. Bless his little boots.

Kate and I laid down on one of the airbeds, and had a heart-to-heart which was very amusing. She told me the pizza wasn’t ever coming, so I thought that was a bit rude. Then I felt sick again, so I started throwing up in a jug that somehow was in my hands. I imagine that Kate, the good faerie that she is, had given it to me for that exact reason. So yeah, there’s me, sprawled across the floor, chucking up for all I’m worth. That’s when I notice there’s a stranger standing in the room.

It was the pizza boy, and he was laughing his head off at me. Through mouthfuls of bile, I imagine I laughed a little myself. I think I probably would also have sworn at him, and maybe said that I hated him. Poor lad, I’m sure he’s crushed. Not.

I guess I went to bed shortly after scoffing a lot of pizza, dragging one of the airbeds into a little room. I couldn’t untie the knot in my sleeping bag cord, so I stole Marrissa’s – and her pillow. I wanted to be comfy.

Monday 1; Febuary, 1999
Make Out Monday. God bless TV4 Marketing.

Kate and Theresa woke me up asking for towels, which I guess was better than them asking for tshirts to sleep in before then coming back and going “Can we have some boxer shorts too please? Both Kate and I are wearing G-strings and it’s not a pretty sight”. Then I went back to sleep until like 1.30pm.

Later I discovered a message from Anji on the answerphone, so I rang her back on my cellphone so as to not run up unexpected bills later. We gossiped for about 15 minutes, her telling me crazy stories and me trying to do the same. So that was choice. She apologised for panicking me out when Karen went into hospital.

Kate rang to tell me that they’d found a flat, and that her and Theresa would be around at 8pm with more alcohol to CELEBRATE this time. I had nothing else to do, so I just bummed around all day. Then I watched lots of TV, including “Favourite Moments of 90210″. Man, that all went downhill when Brenda left. I mean, I love Valerie and all, but it’s just not the same.

Anyways, Kate and Theresa showed up like an hour and a half late with their friend Marissa, and two casks of white wine. We heated up the leftover pizza in our scarily unclean oven, and sat out on the patio, them smoking up a storm. White wine and I don’t get along too well, so I didn’t guzzle quite as fast as the rest of them.

Sunday 31; January, 1999

kate’s the only girl I know who has messier handwriting than me

(copyright jan 31st 1999 by Kate Benton)
Clayton moved in early this morning. I’ve never been inside a truck before, but I have now, after stamping up the ramp. It was really kinda bizzare. I felt like I was in a circus or something.

So yeah, Clayton’s moved in, and he’s pretty cool. Definitely more interesting to talk to than Layton although he’s got a voice which is a whole lot like Dylan’s which is kinda weird. The one thing that annoyed me though is that when I was just sitting in my room, lying down and reading, he kept coming in and talking to me. Ohhhhhh the humanity huh?

Kate and her friend Theresa came over around 1pm and we all went to Wendy’s together, and stole lots and lots of packets of sugar because we have none. I’ve previously stocked up on napkins from there too. Wendys rocks for free stuff. One day I might just take in a bottle and fill it up with tomato sauce. They were waiting to get a call back from a guy about a flat that they wanted in Ponsonby. Eventually they rang him, and were really sad that they didn’t get it. So then we decided we should get really really drunk to de-celebrate. The only problem with that idea though, is that it was a Sunday, and liquorshops and supermarkets etc aren’t allowed to sell alcohol on Sundays, because of stupid stupid laws. So that sucked to our asthma alright. We thought we could ring up all our friends and invite them to a “byo and some for us too please” party, but then we remembered that hey! We don’t actually have any friends. Well, actually we do, but none of them were available. So yeah, that sucked. Eventually, they went to go visit Theresa’s momma, promising to return somehow with stuff to drink. (Man, I felt so fourteen again!)

They came back around seven pm, so I rang up and invited Shirley over as well. We ordered pizza from Pizza Hutt, and since I was feeling rich cos Clayton had given me cash for bond and rent, I forked over the money. Half way through our thin crust half meatlovers half vegetarian, Kate decided to ring up and complain about the crust, to get a free pizza. She told them that it tasted like an Arnotts water cracker biscuit, and from her experiance working at Pizza Hutt, that is not what they should taste like. The woman begrudgingly sent over a regular size, instead of a large. Bitch. Hhahahaha we must already be on Pizza Hutt’s blacklist now. Kate and Theresa were going to flash the delivery boy, but then it was like an old man, so they didn’t.

Anyways, we’d finished the one cask of wine Theresa had been able to scab off her old work, so we decided to go to Newmarket. Well – Kate, Theresa and I did anyways. Shirley and Clayton didn’t want to come, but they said they’d clean up, so that’s more worthy. So we went to Newmarket to play pool, not entirely sure where exactly we were heading, until I spotted the PLANET POOL sign. Kate and I played on a team cos we both suck. We won the first game! I was so proud. Sure, Theresa fucked up and got three of our balls in on one shot (how she managed that, I will never know) . Anyways, we got bored of there, so we went to the Carlton instead and had lots of shakers. The shaker containers were so cool that despite the fact that we were sitting right by the bouncer, we slipped one into Theresa’s bag. The bartender there was so hideous, sticking his tongue out everywhere, and shaking his booty. I use that phrase because that’s how cheesy it was.

So yeah, eventually we went home, and sat around watching some really bad movie with Christopher Lambert in it. Theresa decided she wanted pizza, and after calling some guy at Dial A Dinos three times, he decided he’d send some out to us, even though we’re out of the delivery area. I’m starting to get the feeling that Theresa can talk herself into anything. So yeah, once the pizza arrived and I’d paid for it (again, I was the only one with cash) , we realised we weren’t actually all that hungry, especially since it had jalepenos on it. So oh well. Oh yeah, before we ordered pizza, I’d gone online to send an email from Kate, and found myself being forceably removed (Kate pushed me to the ground then sat on me, completly knocking out all my breath and doing some serious damage) so that Theresa could start messaging everyone on my contact list telling them she was me, and that I was in love with them. MMMmmm. So that was vaguely funny only i was in so much pain it wasn’t actually that cool. What was even more damaging however, is when they’d been sitting on the sofa going “UH OH UH OH UH OH” so I picked up Geri and threw her at them as hard as I could. She hit the wall with a smack, and her legs broke off. AAAAAARrrrrrg. She’s a collector’s item now, too! So yeah, if anyone wants to buy me Ginger Spice merchandise, please do so.

Oh yeah, and about the note – that was Kate trying to terrorize my poor flatmate who was probably traumatized enough by the screams and giggles.