Hubris.co.nz

Tuesday September 17th, 2002

1. Oh really, Crushmaster? Someone has just all of a sudden developed a crush on me using “ae” before my domain name? and “gs”? Really? Oh, silly me.
2. When the fuck did I originally design this page if I just used “indigo” as a BGCOLOR instead’o a sexi-hexi decimal number?
3. Am I going to be sick tomorrow? I guess I am, right?
4. One of them had better have been sober-driving it home, or I will be SO mad.
4. I’m sure you knwo me well enough by now to click as to why i haven’t written in ages, if I haven’t written in ages.
5. Bo+Clay+Me flatdinners kick some ass.
6. I don’t think I’ll go to quiznight anymore – I think that ship has sailed. Plus, I have a supershort attention span, and oh yeah, I dunno. Some rant about pointless semi-rockstar semi-crushes etc etc. He’s still real cute though.
7. Clay and I, staggerign up the street, punchdrunk on $50′o liquor with just KateM and Nigel, and he stops to look at some guy, and I figure he’s just angling for a fight cos I thought the other guy bumped him, and I’m like all, oh no, BUT! BUT! It was goddam LEYTON. You know, the first flatmate that I ever kicked out, cos he wasn’t a team player and I wanted Brad to move in.
8. Brad McCormick, calling me on my cellie from work in Whakacarnie after I txted him going “OH MY GOD THE DRAMA” cos he knew I was talking H&A (I love our psychic bond) and he wanted a full description. Oh Kirsty and Kane, when will you find happiness together?
9. I really want to smoke pot with you RIGHT NOW, even if it means that you don’t end up talking at all after that.
10. Should I try and hold out for 32 points?
11. I had a big talk with Joseph today, and feel much better about my PR Practice paper now, even if we probably did quite badly in our report (oh, sorry Haley, I should email you, but to be perfectly honest, I’m more than a little squiffy right now, and I do have semi-proposal type things to write and send you, and then I’ll email you. Oh, that’s not like a “will you marry me?” thing, just in case the audience as a whole didn’t get thta).
12. I’m still loving my haircut and the other Hayley (with two y’s, not one) by default as well.
13. Who was teh fucking mongrel that listed me on crushmaster in the first place? No one has crushes on me. At best, you’d like to put your penis in me for a little while, in one way or another, or just engage me in witty conversation. I know the score, chief.
14. Welly and some valuable chillout alone time tomorrow, yay!

Hi! So. It’s been what, like, two and a bit weeks? Well, I’m here now. And I’d just like to start with this:

I love this girl so much

That’s Bopa Chai, the Shaolin Monk on Crack, aka my new flatmate whom we are still very much enamoured of. And while we’re speaking of photos, while she was around tonight, KateM demanded that i take some of her that don’t feature her cleavage prominently and in which she isn’t rather boozed, and so if you’re interested (and I guess I’m looking at the J-Crew here mostly, not that you probably even realise that you’re called the J-Crew now, but maybe we’ll get there in this entry) you can find them here.

Anyways, so I guess maybe you’d like an explanation as to where I’ve been for the past three weeks. Well, I’ve been right here, pretty much, but for the most part, I have been computerless. That’s right, you may recall how I kept getting electric shocks off my box? (oh ha ha ha, that one was a little too obvious) Those shocks eventually managed to fry pretty much every single inner component of my computer, and so I went a week without it, and then Peter’s workmates rebuilt it for me, at a cost, of course. This means that i lost everything on my hard drives, which SUCKS (and therefore all cd donations of mp3s will be very very gratefully accepted, thank you) but the one silver lining in the cloud was that therefore they didn’t find the folder full’o old topless photos (and yes of course i had topless photos on my computer – show me any girl with a webcam who doesn’t have one, and I’ll show you a girl who knows how to use her delete key). Oh yeah and Pete – if you did manage to extract them, you’d better have enjoyed them and not turned away in disgust, or I’ll be like, hurt and shit. Anyways. That’s why I haven’t been updating my website, and so yeah, thank you all for your letters of concern. Oh wait, hang on – like hardly anyone sent me one! You people think you can all sit here and read and not tell me about it – I’m looking at you, Kate Oliver, and you, Jane Yee, but believe me, I know. Also, Jane – apparently you said that I was really fucked up, but I heard that from a source with no credibility so that’s okay.

Of course there are people who do read my journal and tell me about it. I have hazy memories of one night recently having a big arguement with John and JeremE who were trying to tell me that this journal online isn’t the real me, but I can’t remember if they were saying one was better than the other or not. I think I was trying to argue 1. “Hey John, you’ve only just met me tonight, buddy” and 2. of course it’s me, but I don’t know if I got my points across because I just ended up quoting Tom and KateB who probably know me better than almost anyone and they say that I’m not as open as I think I am, so I kinda dug my own hole. Later, KateH and I managed to reach an agreement whereby Hubris is Ginger Spice and I’m Geri Halliwell (I mean, the physical resemblence is obvious) so that was good.

Other stuff that’s happened over the past while? I meant to write lists, but I didn’t. I’ve hung out with Bopha lots and lots and lots, and all her friends have decided that our flat has an excellent vibe, so they hang out here too. I get to watch them doing kung fu, having intelligent discussions, drinking endless cups of Jasmine tea and smoking very nice pot ever so often, which are all good things, even if the Kung Fu makes me exhausted just hearing it.

We had cigar, martini and poker night last week, which was fucking excellent. Everyone (was supposed to) dressed up 1920s/1930s gangster style, and we played and played and I smoked many many cigars. My friends don’t actually like martinis (wusses!) so we degenerated into apple martinis and cosmos instead, and then towards the end of the night everything just thrown together, but still out of martini glasses so I guess that’s okay. I don’t know who won at poker – we pushed all the chips in the middle for the last round and I think maybe Clayton won, but I can’t be sure.

My parents are in Mexico right now. Before they went away, Anji rang me up and told me Mum had gone into her work and been really spassy saying “Umm, I don’t know if we have a will or not, but you know that we have three houses right? So if anything happens to us, you can have one each”. I got email from them today saying that Neil got his wallet stolen on the first day that they were there, and that I shouldn’t try to buy anything online with their credit card number cos they canceled it. Also, apparently every time Mum goes to say something, she speaks Japanese instead of Spanish. Silly multilingual parents!

Oh yeah, I rang Mum up a week before they left, bawling my eyes out over my dead computer and the fact that my car had been broken into YET AGAIN and was generally unwarrantable and everything. That’s three fucking back windows, all for NOTHING. Grrr.

Shirley helped me break the rest of the glass out of the window and ducttaped it up for me. She’s my Manly friend. However, she’s going tomorrow for ever and ever and ever. I have to drive her to the airport and while I promised her I wouldn’t, I know I will cry and cry and cry. We had chocolate fondue and girlie night at her place on Friday, her and Maz and Morrison. I had flashback panic attacks in the car on the way home, partly about Shirley and partly about friends in general and other stuff. Other Stuff in capital letters even. When I set my mind to something, I want to do it as quickly as possible, get it over, out of the way and what have you. No drawn out trauma and thinking extremely, so later that night there were hugs and tears in my kitchen, and hours and hours of talking, excrutiating exhausting talking. I’m so conditioned to say “that’s okay, that’s alright” when someone apologises to me and I physically had to stop myself from saying it because it would have been insincere and everyone knows that. But there’s peace at least, and maybe that’ll stop the dreams.

Yesterday I drove to Pukekohe and got lost for half an hour because I came in at the other end of the town than where KateH anticipated that I would, and therefore rights were lefts and therefore wrong, which frustrated me immensely and I was burning up with fever, but finally I managed to find her and we went via Pak’n Slave to Nikki’s bach at Clark’s Beach. I think I wasn’t really expecting a good night, but it turned up to be excellent. Eight girls, two of them married, one with two children – it was an interesting cross section. They were all from Waiuku/Pukekohe though, so I was a little on the outside, but that’s okay, we bonded as girls always do over “I have Never” and I didn’t even end up sticking out like a deviant sore thumb as I have been known to do when playing the game with d-sters. It was also really nice to be out of the city, even if we could still see the sky tower in the far distance. I didn’t get much sleep though, cos it was hot, and I was sleeping on the couch in the lounge, cos the bunks were too short, the bottom bunks were too claustraphobic and I didn’t wanna sleep on a top bunk when I’m used to a mattress on the floor. But anyways. Nikki even cooked us all breakfast this morning, kickass. And then because I’m lovely, I took KateH to Waiuku so that she could see her mother for Mother’s Day. Her family are cool, except I was scared when someone was talking about the Baha Men, and so I complained about how I’d have the song in my head for the rest of the day, and Jane offered to put a different song in my head and I said okay, then EVERYONE at exactly the same time went “do do do do do do do do” in the manner of bears driving around in cars being the ballet. But Katie pumped me full’o gas and bought me chocolate too, so I love her.

And that’s it, I guess. Not very much for the past three weeks, I just can’t think. There’s been classes, of course, which I have even been to sometimes. I’m worried about tomorrow, my first friend off on her OE. Of course, there’s also KateB who’s doing so fucking brilliantly she makes me teary with pride when she calls me with news of her latest achievements (Kate – call me! Hi, I like you). OH! completely new topic now, so I should probably put in a new paragraph because it’s going to get a little dodgy.

What does the word “trans” mean to you? Do you even give it much thought? And if so, if you were told you were going to have a “transvaginal ultrasound” would you realise that it was going to be done from the inside? Well, I certainly didn’t, and believe me, I got one of the biggest shocks’o my recent life when the radiographer pulled out this huge fucking girthy 13 incher and rolled a condom over it. She told me to insert it “like a tampon” and I was like “ummmmmmmm holy fuck” Her reassurances that it didn’t all have to go in didn’t count for much. Afterwards she just left and told me to leave the door open when I’d cleaned myself up. I felt so cheap and used! But end of the story is that after extensive consultation with my doctor, I’m now on the pill again. Not evil evil femulen though; estelle35 which is what pretty much everyone with polycystic ovarian syndrome gets put on. And if I find after a couple of months I’m going psycho and losing my sex drive again, I will just stop taking it. Dr White was very amusing when she was going over it with me, asking if I’d be using it for contraceptive purposes, and I was like “yeah I doubt it eh” and she was like “well, if you DO meet Prince Charming tonight or something…”. I like her lots and lots. Also, yeah, so apparently I don’t ovulate all the time and I might very well have difficulty concieving children BUT I’m not infertile and I’m supposed to remember that and not worry and that was why my blood pressure was up a little, apparently, cos I was worried and cos I’d been running around. Normally I have excellent blood pressure. I asked Anji if she’d carry a baby for me, and she promised me an egg, and even offered to put it on ice now, so that’s okay. There’s a backup plan.

And now I think that’s probably enough eh. My back hurts – I’m sitting on the ground again. However, the rugmunching possibilities are looking good – or at least the rug part, because I’ve seen one of the flats downstairs has actually been moved out of, and they’re pulling up the carpet in there, and once they’ve laid new stuff there, they’ll be putting new stuff in here as well, adn then I can sort out my room and reassemble my desk, six months after the actual flooding.

I’m still downloading Hubris – the only links I have left to my computer past – but maybe I can rejig the order and upload this now.

I guess any day that starts with a woman in rubber gloves painfully inserting things into you can only get better.

So yesterday, after I got home from the doctor’s (I only got a “down below” check as she put it, rather than blood taken for Hep C and HIV, not because I have a fear of needles – in fact, I freakishly kinda like watching my blood being taken – but just because) I went and took a nap, and I actually fell into a really really deep sleep. I put this down to the fact that I’ve been getting an average of 5 hours a night lately, which is not enough to sustain me. I know that it was a deep sleep because i had very very vivid dreams, that started with me inviting Dr. White home for a cup of tea because I thought she was lonely. I won’t go into all the details, but it ended up that there was a rave at my house, and then in the dream I woke up and thought it was all a dream and it went on and on and on. Yeah.

When I woke up for real though, I had such a sore throat, so I complained mightily about it to Clayt when he got home – “Claaaaaaaaay, my throat is sore! Claaaaaaay, my vagina is sooooooore! I’m supposed to go out tonight but I won’t be able to do ANYTHING like this waaaaah”. He sympathized with me as much as possible. Poor Clay; I’m sure he has daydreams about having a flatmate with a lower level of self disclosure. But anyways. Shirley came over from her last day of work, all bubbly and happy, bringing with her Lemsip for my throat and red wine to heal my other aching body bits, and KateH came over as well and we listened to excellent music and chatted. Eventually we rang the King’s Arms to see what order the bands were playing and they laughed at me for telling the bar man that he was a wonderful person when he went and asked for me.

We got in a taxi and went there and met up with KateH’s flatmate Karin (okay, maybe her name is spelt Karen – i’m not sure, but if I call her Karen then you might get confused with my sister, so I’m damn well gonna call her Karin and if you have a problem with that, well that’s just too damn bad). We sat in the garden while Handsome Geoffry were playing, because of course we were really there to see The Heavy Jones Trio. Mmmmmmmmm I’ve got such a rockstar crush. Kelly’s just so completely adorable and he was doing a little sideways kick thing instead of the knee jiggle, and it was just so endearing, like a little puppy. Oh that voice and that soul! I don’t think I have any interest in meeting him because that just wouldn’t be the same. Plus, as I said to Annabel, I’m far cooler on screen than in real life (and this is where my detractors say “but you’re not at all cool onscreen” and where i say back “then why are you reading me?”). Golden Horse afterwards were good too, but by that stage I was too busy laughing at the very camp guy hitting on Shirley.

After the Kings Arms, we taxied to Lovely Paul’s house, where there was supposed to be a party, but we just found them all watching David Blane Magician videos being completly in awe. Justin rang my cellie then, and told me he was at a party around the corner from my house, where I’d been to a party before after my 21st adn they’d told me they were Norwegian porn stars, so Shirley and I got yet another taxi and went over there. The party was actually one house up from the Norwegian Porn Star House, which just meant that I’ve got around more of my street, which is excellent. It took ages to find out who actually lived there, but that was alright, cos when I did meet him, he was very nice and also very cute, and he’s gonna come to our next party. Brilliant. Also in attendence at the party were KateM, and Jason (oh look, adreniline rush!) and JeremE <!– oh my god he has a billion dollar smile when he saw me –>which was cool, so I met lots of new people who were all very nice, even if there was one guy who was off on some tangent about something to do with chickens that I couldn’t follow. For a while I felt a little 15 again, off giggling in a corner with Shirley and KateM cos they hadn’t seen each other in ages. But then I smoked a lot of pot, and it was cool. Shirley left around 1amish, since we were right around the corner from my house so I gave her the key and she went and slept in Clay’s room. I stayed til some time after 4, cos it was all peaceful and mellow, sitting around laughing and listening to PJ Harvey for ages and ages. So that was cool.

I had an excellent excellent sleep which makes me think that i really should smoke pot more often perhaps, and then Shirley woke me some time around 7am to say goodbye. I went back to sleep until KateM rang me for a gossip and catch up. She told me that she’d spent hours that night talking to the boy I fancy, alternating between praising me to the high heavans and warning him not to treat me badly and saying it was all or nothing. Awww, how sweet of her! She apologised cos she said maybe she’d been a little over the top. I know a huge part of it was residual frustration from a couple’o years ago when everyone wanted to yell at a particular person but I asked them all not to cos the repercussions just wouldn’t have been worth it. And so far today all that I’ve done was start to watch “Enemy at the Gates” but it seemed too gruelling, even for Jude Law and what is apparently one of the best onscreen sex scenes. So I’ll go watch “The End of the Affair” now and see if I can find someone to go out to dinner with.

I was sitting on a stool at the bar in the Kings Arms, with KateH and her flatmate Karen, waiting for the Heavy Jones Trio to come on when the girl next to me looked at me. “Excuse me,” she said, “but are you Joanna?” Yes, yes I am. “You don’t know me,” she told me as I racked my brain trying to think of who she was, “but I used to read your journal all the time. I even submitted mine to the Breast Club”. Ohhhhhh. I didn’t catch her name and I thought it’d probably be out of line for me to ask her to pull up her top and see if I remembered her that way, but still. And then the girl she was with knew KateH from her job, and so we both laughed at Karen because she wasn’t famous. Exciting! Oh, and if you did decide to start reading me again and you’re here, the singer told you to have a horrible night as y’all walked out, which was mean of him but ever so cute. I think the last person who fan-spotted me was Secret Passage Robyn.

And so as cool as that was, it paled in comparison to how cool the Heavy Jones Trio were. They opened with “Straight Into Your Arms”, the song of oh so many mix tapes, and I instantly fell in love with the singer. Later when they played “Special” it was so beautiful I almost started crying, and that of course led me to thinking about how nice it is to actually have feelings again, having completley wasted the last six months feeling numb, drinking too much, smoking too much pot, watching too much shit tv and having empty boring sex. I can do so much better with myself! Really! But back to the Heavy Jones Trio, unless I get too distracted watching the Westpac Trust Helicopter land outside my window. Yeah, anyways. I hope they get a record deal real soon, although they did mention their EP a couple of times, along with trying to get us up off the floor and dance. He was looking at me the whole time, (I swear!) and he did this funny leg jiggling thing that was so fucking endearing. I swear, I have such a fatal weakness for scrawny boys with very very short hair who look like they need mothering. The old soup&blanket theory, if you will.

And with that last (incomplete) sentence, I can nicely link into the big discussions we had about grammar in Persuasive Communication today. I LOVE class discussions. I don’t so much love speeches about umm fuck,I can’t remember which one it was that made me feel really bad about myself. Probably the drinking age debate one. Italia spoke about how AUT is a university and I was just laughing to myself, especially when she said (to paraphrase) that it’s only wankers who have inferiority complexes who like to stress that we were originally a polytech. Te he he. Discussions about monarchy spilled out of the classroom and into the lift all the way down to the ground. I love Com Students. I hate the lifts which steal at least 15 minutes of my life a day. My speech went pretty well, I’m gonna send a copy of it to my notify list, and then eventually one day I plan on having an academia section on my site, so I might put it up there too.

In the evening, KateH came around after her work, and invited me to dinner at her house,and told me that the HJT were playing at the Kings Arms. I was so fucking stoked, because they’d opened for the Proclaimers, and I so badly wanted to see them that if i’d been given a free ticket, I would have gone. And then they played at an Industry gig that some of my friends got to go to, and I was very very jealous, but now YAY finally I’ve seen them live,and apparently they’ve moved to Auckland so I will be able to see them more often. Now all I need is for them to get a record contract so I can buy their album, and everything will be special…..

Top’o the morning to you! To be sure, to be sure! You see, the ting is…KateMandIwentout to celebrate St Pats day today around 2.30pm. It’s only like 9.30pm now but I had to come home cos she had to go elsewhere<!– answering a booty call, no less –>. I’m full of baileys and guiness and doing easter eggs right now so I’m fairly content, especially since it means that Ican review how far I’ve come. Last St Patricks’, she said I was thepopular one, yet this yearit was her with the homeless people asking herfor kisses. Apparently I will be popular next year, we’re taking turns. Her friend Veggie Jason also came out with us (as opposed to ‘Hot Jason’) and so that was fun. Her and I got stick on tattoos from the barman that said “Kiss me,I’m Irish” so we had txting competitions, trying to send that message to more people, but we both peaked at 15 I think. Or was it that we each had 15 people starting with J in our phones? Something like that. KateM is a bad influence on me.

When did I last write? I suspect it was some time ago. Friday I braved insane traffic and lack’o parking at lunchtime to bring KateH Mercury plaza for her lunch, because I love her that much and also because I’ve behaved badly towards her lately and while that doesn’t make up for it, I’m all about tokenism. Later that evening I met up with her and Nicky and two of Nicky’s friends at D72 and we had dinner and fun and then a big drive around Mission Bay (“Nicky,are you taking me to a lookout point? are we going to make out?”). Then I went to the supermarket in Mt Eden for beer and C batteries (life’s essentials) and figured that since I was in her neighbourhood,I’d go see KateM. So I hung out with her and Elliot, and I ripped my skirt all the way across one of its panels. Damn fifty year old perishable Thai silk! So that sucked. Elliot tried to talk me into going out to dance to house music, but oh please. However, he did say that he’d go on boat tour’o the Ports’o Auckland with me, whichwas immensly pleasing since everyone else just laughs at me when I suggest it. Come on people, it’s FREE! So there. Anyways,eventually I had to go home cos i was falling asleep, and also because my skirt was so ripped.

On Saturday Shirley came over and we hung out and then Richard came over and we hung out some more. We’d intended to go dancing at bEd, but by that stage we were too ‘tired’ to actually move, so we had to give that one a miss. But still, it was nice to spend some quality time with her. Which brings us to Sunday, which is today, and which is where I started this journal entry.

Someone just sent me an AIM going “this sounds like a weird question but are you short?” I talked to them briefly but they kept saying “lol” so I started to ignore them. Lol my ass. OOOh, FINALLY I can get ahold of my Diane, so I will go and call him now and refuse to scan my nipples for him, on the grounds that my scanner isn’t working and I only offered to get his attention.

Me: “I love this song” (She Speeds, Straitjacket Fits) – Anji “I bought a copy of this song when you were seven years old”. How rude. Anyways, so would you firstly like to hear about my day, or about my week so far? Show of hands? Day it is then.

When I woke up, my nose and throat were still sore, stinkies, but hey, at least I’d got some sleep – and strange dreams as usual. I knew i was supposed to go have lunch with Karen but there was fresh baked bread and brie in the kitchen so I figured I’d have breakfast first. And so I did. I also yelled at Mum to please stop asking me questions about what I was up to today because i really can’t take the whole having to be accountable for every second of my time and she knew very well that Karen wasn’t answering her phone because she’d just called and so how was i to have been able to arrange lunch? But Mum was very nice about it and put my clothes in the dryer for me so that i’d have something to wear. Unfortunately that meant that i had to surrendar my sheet but it’s actually fucking cold down here so it’s probably just as well. I wish I’d thought better and packed more warm clothes but then again, I packed whilst stoned <!– he’s such a gentleman that he always lights it for me whenever we smoke –> and in two minutes so I guess that wasn’t the smartest idea ever. But anyways.

Eventually, Anji and Linda were ready so we drove to go and pick up Karen. We’d wanted to go to Imbibe for lunch, cos I’ve never been there, but it wasn’t open, so we went to Olive and I had two absolutly divine coffees and a quesadilla. Mmmmmm Olive coffee. And then Karen and I went shopping, leaving the oldies to look through their photos again. I went and got 200g of X for Mother and 200g of Cuban for myself to take back to Auckland from Midnight Esspresso, and then I tried to decide what to get her for her birthday. Also, if you ever want to get me an amazing present, convince the people in the second hand books/clothes/stuff shop on the corner of Cuba Street and Swan Lane to sell you one of their two giant Playmobil boys. Thank you. I ended up buying Mum “Nature’s Best” which is an NZ music compilation cd that I’d planned on giving to Neil for his birthday, but since that’s in June, I have more time to think of something else for him. I got a free disposable camera with it, even! And I also made myself a beautiful necklace in the Bead Store, for only $3.50. Excellent. And then we went and had hot chocolate at Felix and walked up to the Embassy to get our tickets to see ‘Lord of the Rings’.

LOR has been screening for what – two months now? And the Embassy seats 826 people, but it was still completely full, at a 5.10 session on a Thursday. Crazy. But we did manage to get seats – good seats even, because the woman at the ticket counter took a shine to us and gave us her own personal seats. Yay for that. I liked the movie a lot. I adore Elijah Wood – of course, even if i hadn’t seen the movie I’d still love him from the way he kept hugging all the New Zealand tv reporters at all the previews. And I’d be very happy with a doubleteam of Legalos and Aragorn to defend me. Mmmmm. I’m smutty.

After the movie, we went and got cheap (and not very nice) Malaysian food and then went back to Karen’s apartment where I did things to her that made me laugh and laugh and laugh but what I’m not allowed to write about. And then eventually Anji came and picked me up. So yeah, that was my very very exciting day. So do you want to hear about my week now, or are you already bored and flicking away to something else?

Okay, so Sunday was Ben’s 21st party, kinda, although it ended up being more my friends than his, I think. I got to see Steve and Olivia and Kini though which was cool. And KateM and Elliot, although she told me off for flirting with him but I wasn’t really hardly even. And JeremyO<!– who’s bitter that when I introduced him to s&o&k I was like “but it’s not THAT jeremy” –>. And KateB, of course. Some wanker passed out in my bed and so she slapped me awake from my sleep on the couch to get me to move him. He wouldn’t move so I kicked him and swore at him a lot. Previously he’d been really pervy and disgusting and icky anyways actually, and he makes me so mad I don’t even wanna write about him, so I won’t.

On Monday Justin woke me up by calling to meet me for lunch, and while I was talking on the phone ot him and trying to get my head together, i realised that there was someone lying next to me on the bed so I was like “oh fuck” until my eyes managed to focus and it was just KateB. Phew. Although I’m sure she did dirty things to me while I was sleeping, of course. KateH arrived and we went to drive down to Justin’s work but then my car wouldn’t start because it was completely and utterly drained of petrol, thanks Ben. He is of course refusing to top it up claiming no responsibility, so grrr. KateH even yelled at him over the phone. Anyways. So we ended up calling Justin and meeting him and KateH’s flatmate in the Imax foodcourt, which was a very bad idea beacuse it was very bright and very crowded and Iw as very very ill and everything was spinning and far too dazzling. So as soon as i was able to, I crawled back into bed.

On Tuesday, I was feeling much much better, thank god, and the house was also even a little tidier. It was raining though, and it took FORTY MINUTES to get the Link to Newmarket to meet JeremE for a drink. To put that into perspective for you, I could have walked there in 20, so I really really should have, except that it was raining, and I was wearing heels. Damn rush hour traffic and unreliable buses. But anyways, so I had a drink or two with Jeremy and then we went and got Mercury Plaza and hung out for a while. He left right before the start of the final of The Secret Life of Us, which was excellent timing (KatieH, did you get the tape off Clay yet? he also has your key to our house, presuming he hasn’t given it to The Evil One). So I had a sniffle at the TV show, being the final and all, and then Clay came home. He was cutting a promo for a kid’s movie called “My Dog Skip” and Iw as absolutely disgusted to find myself crying at that. And I did my packing, and shortly after midnight KateB and Mischa arrived to pick me up.

I don’t wanna write about the drive down because there were some fucking freaky things that happened, although it was nice to be with Kate, een if her kitten did piss on me. Just it was very long, and we were both very wired, and seeing accidents is fucking horrible and thinking that maybe a ham sandwich saved your life is fucking freaky as well.

We arrived in Welly about 10.30am and I had a couple of drinks because I was so fucking wired and then tried to sleep. I managed about an hour long nap maybe. Still, in the evening I went out with Anji and Linda (who’s staying here) and we met up with her friend Gregor who bought me a drink and chastised me again for not dressing up as a schoolgirl. I promised him that I would do better next time and that Iw ould have if I’d packed properly. Although i doubt i would have, because it’s SO FUCKIGN COLD down here. And sure i bitch about the heat in Auckland, but it’s always about how the grass is greener on the other side. I like Jet Lounge because they have Finlandia as their house vodka. I also dropped past Ayna’s cos she’d told me she was going to have a big night but she wasn’t home. I got to say hi to Kartini though (who doesn’t live there) and apparently, it’s all about Bass Frontiers on Friday night at Sub9. Excellent. I might even take Anji and Linda with me.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Let’s see if I can figure out how to log into Saturn from here. Ohhh apparently I have a cunt directory. Hahahaha excellent.

So, it’s Waitangi Day. What are YOU doing towards our multicultural society? I umm drank tea AND coffee. That counts, right? I’m sureitdoes.

Today I’m feeling semigeeky because JeremyE is trying to teach me the fundamentals of php. I’m doing a lot of smiling and nodding and reaffirming that I know how to code Lingo, which isn’t strictly true, but you know, I have to stretch my geek cred as far as it will take me.

What else do I have to mention? Ben should be buying me Stuff right now but he’s not so he’s lazy. It’s really hot outside so of course I’m sitting inside being geeky. Excellent. Haven’t you finished my database yet? Geez, he told me he could build it in an hour. I guess ask too many stupid questions and hold up the process. Oh yeah, I’m going to have a database journal thingie, hopefully. This should be interesting.

That goddam evil summer plague that is Cricket is on again tonight and so no doubt Clay will be glued to the television with assorted friends. I was really disturbed that Shirley rang up and asked if we would be watching the cricket here. It’s okay for boys to watch that shit but girls? No no. I’m not down with that eh. And now I’m just rambling because I can, but what’s the bet that you’ll sit through it all now? I’d say the chances are pretty high eh. I have to ask, what the hell do you the reader get out of your hubris experiance?

Okay so it’s later and now I seem to be having a lot of trouble typing. Ben, JeremyE and I went on a road trip together to buy stuff and then I dropped Ben off at work. Him and Jeremy were ganging up and picking on me which I thought was just really really mean. What have I ever done to either of them that would warrant such treatment?

And again, it’s later still and my database still isn’t finished. Damn people napping! Also, I need to find out if saturn5 supports msql. I’m guessing that it does becasue I know how clever all those san fran kids are. Ha, if I keep throwing around programme language names will you all think I’m cool? Or just that I’m randomly waffling? You’d be so right in both cases eh. Oooh, we’re going to throw in different colour variables I think. I am SO getting the better end of this deal.

What’s that Joanna? What’s that grin all about? Ummm… kittens? Yeah, kittens. That works for me.

I catsat KateB’s little Mischa today. She’s SO CUTE. I can fit her in one hand. I took a photo of her too, hmm, where did it go?

There it went. So yeah, we played lots and she attacked my nose some. KateH came over for lunch and to see the Kitten so that was lovely.

Then KateB came around 4ish to pick up Mischa and she was a darling and did my dishes and cleaned my kitchen for me while I tried to tidy the lounge. I was supposed to go out for a drink with Jeremy E. then (that’s someone new, not the Jezza that I used to flat with) but instead we just stayed here and drank coffee and tea and smoked pot. It was nice <!– ha, are you looking for more information?  oh there’s plenty to give you –>. And Clay was home so he judged his shoes and everything which amused me. Flatmates are so not subtle about giving you the thumbs up. I also think that leaving your laptop behind is also not very subtle<!– especially when they’ve already said that they’re not giving back your tshirt ever so that you have to see them again – swoon –>.

Later, I went to KateH’s new flat to pick her up and bring her home to my house for ‘The Secret Life of Us’. It was a brilliant episode tonight with Will and Ritchie getting stoned. “Have you got any beer?” Me and Katie were pissing ourselves. Afterwards I took her home and discovered Justin and Jason and Jeremy and some other guy were all at her house with her flatmate, so I offered to drive the boys into town and what drunken louts they were. We also stopped off to pick up Lovely Paul, and got lost in a maze of one way Arch Hill sts. But that’s okay cos we got there eventually. So yeah. And now I’m at home and I’m bored and it’s sometime after midnight but I had a red bull and a coffee this afternoon so I’ll easily be up until the Buffy re-run at 3am. Excellent. And tomorrow is Waitangi Day so it might be time for me to think about sovereignty.

Woah, writing in Dreamweaver, this is odd. But change is a good thing. Okay no, I’m so not going to start out a journal entry talking about Geeky Stuff. So there.

On second thoughts, the sentence did start with a ‘woah’ so instantly y’all would have been thinking about cowboys and indians anyways, so that’s pretty exciting. Damn I wanna cowboy hat. I wanna be Tiffany from Pop Stars.

Kate thought I thought that I was better than Tiffany, but what I was really saying was that I was better than her other lameass little kid fans, so yeah, she was just being dumb. I think it says something to that effect on our fridge anyways. No wait, not the fridge, the white board.

You know, I really wanna change this font but I seem to have lost my properties box. It’s kike, disappeared off the screen, so I can’t. Well, I could do a muffdive into the code, but it’ll look all ugly and stuff and oh my god just shut up Joanna before you embarrass the both of us.

I want chocolate biscuits and milk right now please someone. Thanks

I think maybe this is because I dimmed the light in my room. Or maybe it was stoval recreational stylings, or something like that. Not entirely sure. Either way, I’m in a good mood, I think. Just not very cohesive. But let’s face it – when have I ever been cohesive? I admit that yes I do write my journal very much for readers, but goddam y’all must struggle through it. Thanks, I hope I’m worth the effort. Well, I’m not but hey, it’s five minutes killed, eh. It sucks ‘cos like anything else for me, it seems that telling stories is really only truely satisfying with an audience. So while I like the fact that many of my friends read my journal, it also adds complications. I did the whole secret journal thing for a while but I guess a lack of feedback on that made it unappealing. I didn’t feel motivated enough to keep on writing. I mean, I have a book that I occasionally write in if I have big things to purge, but that’s not daily. Which is why things get exorcized online instead. Mostly that anyways.

Oh woah, I’ve so forgotton what i was writing about, because Shirley rang, and then i had to go make a milk shake, and then yeah, I dunno. Lost the plot. I’m having a Miss Universe Party on Saturday for girlies to do their faces and make up and drink lots and lots of champers and all that good stuff.

Today was okay. We have to post intelligent comments in this forumy thing for 3D in order to gain 20% of our end of the year mark – suck! I posted a comment today suggesting that people need to remember to push enter after changing any numerical values in the lighting panel. So onto it man! Jodie and I had large fits of laughter when we found out that after we’d been bragging to Fleur about how done we were and how smart we were, it turned out we’d been working on the completed image as opposed to the one we were supposed to do ourselves. I came back to class 15 minutes later after the break because I’d stayed outside talking to Derek. I think Stuart knows I’m not overly fond of him – or the class either.

This evening I started filling out this huge big survey I’ve been mailed out, and then I stopped for a while because I still had like 50 pages to go. Then Kate B came around and we watched tv and Pop Stars and did stove things. Sizzle.