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	<title>Hubris.co.nz &#187; pure joy</title>
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	<link>http://hubris.co.nz</link>
	<description>An online journal since 1998</description>
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		<title>two thousand and zen and the art of self maintenance</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2010/02/two-thousand-and-zen-and-the-art-of-self-maintenance/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2010/02/two-thousand-and-zen-and-the-art-of-self-maintenance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:35:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drunk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[i kissed a girl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job hunting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kim]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laura]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[megan wegan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[periods]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PPP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[webstock]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2779</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You will be pleased to know that I officially don&#8217;t have tuberculosis. I had my follow-up follow-up today and I&#8217;ve been given the all clear. This means I don&#8217;t get to die romantically of consumption while Anne of Green Gables nurses me, but I suppose that&#8217;s for the best. You will hopefully also be pleased [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<ul>
<li>You will be pleased to know that I officially don&#8217;t have tuberculosis. I had my follow-up follow-up today and I&#8217;ve been given the all clear. This means I don&#8217;t get to die romantically of consumption while Anne of Green Gables nurses me, but I suppose that&#8217;s for the best.</li>
<li>You will hopefully also be pleased to know that I am the very grateful recipient of some funding from <a href="http://midnightnote.baseofoperations.net/">The Midnight Note which will partially cover the cost of my attendance at </a><a href="http://www.webstock.org.nz/">Webstock</a>. I know of three people who wrote lovely letters for my nomination, but there may have been more. I am well-loved by my community, apparently, and that is a beautiful thing.</li>
<li>I have discovered over the past couple of weeks just how lucky I am to have the wonderful friends that I do. There was a thing that happened, and it brought back all the anger and emotion that I&#8217;d covered up last year and it was a really really difficult time. I seriously considered moving to Auckland just to get away, but luckily attendance at Princess Camp made me play &#8220;Run this town&#8221; many times in my head and I realised that actually, fuck yes I do.</li>
<li>Miss <a href="http://cupcakesandmace.com">Kim Cupcakes &amp; Mace</a> stayed here at Immoral Terrace on and off for the past couple of weeks while she was looking for a flat, and it was so lovely having her here. We had LAN parties and cheese and watched DVDs and stayed up late giggling about boys every night. It&#8217;s a bit weird not having her here anymore, to be honest. I am really glad that I could help her out of a jam, and she definitely helped me out too, not just by buying Seb cat food when I was broke but also making me a happy Jo again.</li>
<li>If I could find my other knitting needle, I would use it to remove my uterus right about now. I cried every day last week, including two different occasions at Hooch, and today I am in total fricking agony and bleeding like a stuck pig. I should go to the GP to ask to be refered to a gynocologyst, but that&#8217;s money that I don&#8217;t have. It wouldn&#8217;t be a hubris update without me talking about my period though, would it?</li>
<li>A lot of my friends have been going through difficult times. We had decided that the first two weeks of the year didn&#8217;t count because they were just the hangover from 2009, but two thousand and zen has taken a while to get going. My main drama, apart from the thing that knocked me flat on my ass for a couple of weeks is the ongoing job hunt. I got very close to a job that I really wanted, reference checks and everything, and because they took a while to get back to me I dared to dream about what it would be like to actually have an income again, which of course became a big let-down again. I hate that my friends have had crappy-ass times, but if it had to happen, I&#8217;m glad that we&#8217;ve had each other to go through the crap with.</li>
<li>I almost left the house for a night this summer to go camping, but it was raining in the Hutt so we camped in Amie&#8217;s lounge instead. Princess Camping for the win! We had tremendously good times.</li>
<li>I went to a random hipster party in Roseneath where we sat in an empty room and played a variation of Truth or Dare. I went to a keg party in a big flat on Cuba Street where goths went without makeup, a kitten romped around and that nice girl from last year kissed me again although it&#8217;s against her rules, which I don&#8217;t understand. I went to a couch-surfing gathering in Mount Vic where I drank gin and played Animal Motions. There have been tiki shacks here, and macaroni parties at Laura&#8217;s. There&#8217;s also a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=305158092544">Pretty Pretty Party coming up on March 6</a>. It is hard to be as entertaining as I want to be when I lack the funds so drastically.</li>
<li>My family has continued to be awesome and supportive. BAMJI took me for my first swim of the year, and last night we had a bigass dinner at Hazel for Mum&#8217;s significant birthday. It was lovely. I should review it for the Wellingtonista sometime soon.</li>
<li>Still loving my flatmates. And I&#8217;m super excited that Kat &amp; Kane are coming down next week. Not to mention WEBSTOCK! And I have a fabulous frock from <a href="http://meganwegan.blogspot.com">Megan</a> to wear, and I leant one to <a href="http://supervery.com">Sue</a>. What goes around comes around, hurray!</li>
<li>Oh, and finally, <a href="http://joannamcleod.com/my-predictions-for-2010/">I spoke at Bloggers Predict</a> the other week, and you can watch the video of it here:<br />
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</ul>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>This don&#8217;t even feel like falling</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/12/this-dont-even-feel-like-falling/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/12/this-dont-even-feel-like-falling/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:19:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad tom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chiara]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crushes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drunk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good tom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[i kissed a girl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[karaoke]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kim]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laura]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mighty mighty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shirley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[T4WA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellingtonista]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2771</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It turns out that I can throw a pretty good shindig. The Fourth Annual Wellingtonista Awards were last night, and it was a fantastic time. I&#8217;m so proud of all the work that I and others have put into that site, and it&#8217;s paid off in bucketfuls. I&#8217;ll no doubt do a proper post about [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It turns out that I can throw a pretty good shindig. The Fourth Annual Wellingtonista Awards were last night, and it was a fantastic time. I&#8217;m so proud of all the work that I and others have put into that site, and it&#8217;s paid off in bucketfuls. I&#8217;ll no doubt do a proper post about it over on that site, and round up pics and stuff like that, but suffice to say, oh my, so much love. It was fantastic to have lots of people who were nominated actually turn up, it was great to have Sally from Mighty Mighty to accept their billion awards that they won, and to have Shirley up on stage to accept for her identical twin Ev from Slowboat, to get to talk to James about how far we&#8217;ve come since the site started, to see<a href="http://thebackyard.blogspot.com"> Jessie</a> again, to have Tom prove yet again what a gentleman he really is by keeping me in drinks when I thought I lost my eftpos card, to get to swap meaningful looks and sideways smiles with someone and have that be cool, to dance with Chiara and Theresa and Julie in pseudo-Russian style to the Klezmer Rebs, to see Sue actually about, to have so many friends there that I didn&#8217;t get a chance to talk to any of them properly, to have Tash be all humbled by their winning and her not being there to accept it on time, to dance to the awesome Karaoke Dick afterwards and sing sing sing, to having <a href="http://cupcakesandmace.com">Kim</a> show up really late and be all drunken &#8220;YAY KIM!!!!&#8221; at her, to have Grant Robertson (and everyone else) tell me how fabulous I looked&#8230;. oh, how I do so love me a good spotlight bask. Oh, and then there&#8217;s that other thing.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve had bad experiences in the past where I&#8217;ve written about crushes and had the crushee email me going &#8220;um, I&#8217;m not interested in you romantically&#8221; and I&#8217;ve been like, yeah duh, I just wanted to write about how nice it is to have a crush that&#8217;s pure and simple and joyous, it&#8217;s not really about you or whatever, but on the other hand all too often I only write about things when they&#8217;re spent and used up and I&#8217;m all angsty about them, so in the interests of being Fair and Balanced like Fox News, I figure I will tell you a tale about last night at the TAWAs.</p>
<p>There was a girl there who it turned out I&#8217;d met almost ten years ago and I found myself really drawn to her immediately. It helped that she piled me with compliments, of course, and that it turns out that we&#8217;re <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eskimo+brothers">eskimo sisters</a> although our mileage definitely varied. At one stage I even sent Laura on a recon mission to find her, and in a move straight out of primary school Laura told her that I had a crush on her. Which is fine because we kissed as someone took up the mic singing &#8216;Halo&#8217; and I have all kinds of love for that song, and it felt like I was on a show on the WB, and it was lovely, and it was public and not a shameful dirty secret. Also lovely was duetting on &#8216;Blister In the Sun&#8217;, dancing together and kissing right in the middle of Cuba Mall at 3am. She wouldn&#8217;t let me take her home because she said that shagging gets in the way of being friends, and I was like &#8220;but dude, I have a million friends already! I don&#8217;t need any more!&#8221; but of course she is no doubt right. I&#8217;m just very lucky that I got to have a thoroughly swell time and a kiss to make the night perfect. It was partly a little bit about chasing away the ghosts of last year and the thing that I am not supposed to remember any more, but it was so sweet that it felt fresh and clean and not at all like the other times this year when I have tried to drown my memories in someone else&#8217;s arms. Excellent. Thank you very much, you charming young lady.</p>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Letting my light shine bright</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/12/letting-my-light-shine-bright/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/12/letting-my-light-shine-bright/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:33:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[codeine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospital]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[iva]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[richter city]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roller derby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the evil ginger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thomas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[volcanic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[xmas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2763</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I think it is fairly safe to say that I am addicted to fairy lights. I set up our Xmas tree today (it is named Sam, because it&#8217;s a fucking prick. Although it is yet to insist that I must have diabetes). In the process of getting this in place, I also cleaned off our [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think it is fairly safe to say that I am addicted to fairy lights. I set up our Xmas tree today (it is named Sam, because it&#8217;s a fucking prick. Although it is yet to <a href="http://hubris.co.nz/2007/03/insu-related/">insist that I must have diabetes</a>). In the process of getting this in place, I also cleaned off our buffet! There are empty flat surfaces in my house! It is very very exciting!<br />
<img class="alignnone" src="http://cameroid.com/i/1S0TM-A1" alt="" width="500" /></p>
<p>Yes, that&#8217;s right, I don&#8217;t update for a month, and then when I do, all I write about is tidying my house. This is how I roll, yo. Oh okay, I will talk about how I&#8217;ve been Xmas shopping, and making plans for the dinner that I want to cook, and preparing secret potions and all that kind of thing.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been feeling a bit thoughtful the past couple of days. As you may have seen me twittering about yesterday, it was ten years since I first had sex. So that was the guy that I had my first relationship with. It&#8217;s been a year since I began my second relationship as well, which I call a relationship because he did, and because it was more than just fucking, even though it shouldn&#8217;t have even been that. Although I didn&#8217;t want the first one to be, the second one is most definitely a secret. In 2010, I&#8217;m going to meet someone who will love me so much that they will shout from the rooftops that they&#8217;re with me. That&#8217;s going to be really fantastic. Oh yes indeedy.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t really have that much else to say, because it&#8217;s been so long that all the stories I wanted to tell you have been forgotten. Instead, I will grab some photos of me from Flickr with which to start conversations, okay?</p>
<p>SPICEWORLD<br />
<img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2664/4121861606_c1f3f88075.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Still the greatest movie ever made. We had a most awesome night of watching it and then I stayed up til 3.30am talking to Amie. She cleaned up in the morning! Best houseguest ever until the next lot showed up.</p>
<p>ROLLER DERBY!<br />
<img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2515/4160150918_98d6e9d190.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Richter City (Wellington) played Pirate City (Auckland) and three of Auck girls stayed with us. Turns out one of them was Hannah who was Iva&#8217;s friend when we lived at Volcanic, so she&#8217;s also slept with Lance. Hilariousness ensued. Also, Roller Derby was AMAZING, even though we got creamed. It was edge of the seat jumping up and down and yelling and cheering and fantasticness. And look who happened to be in town for it and managed to get in on the sign and fascinator-making?<br />
<img src="http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs088.snc3/15555_196759370387_608130387_3511351_6260957_n.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Yeah that&#8217;s right, that&#8217;s motherfucking KateH! It was very very nice to see her again after years overseas. Plus, I am now the Popular Kate of Wellington, which makes me feel allpowerful. In fact, I&#8217;m the Empress of the Internet. Bow down.</p>
<p>I went to <a href="http://wellingtonista.com/mixing-it-up-at-the-havana-club-cocktail-grand-prix">the Havana Club cocktail championships and wrote about it on the Wellingtonista</a>. Speaking of, holy fucking shit, next week it is <a href="http://wellingtonista.com/vote-for-the-t4was">the FOURTH ANNUAL WELLINGTONISTA AWARDS</a>. I am crazybusystressed sorting it all out plus I don&#8217;t get to buy a new dress which is sad but hopefully it will all go smoothly enough.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, duh, flickr reminds me that there&#8217;s this:<br />
<img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2661/4142183680_be62410e18.jpg" alt="" /><br />
I got an infected ingrown hair on my stomach, and it developed into full-blown cellulitis and I spent 48 hours in the hospital. Almost two weeks later, I still haven&#8217;t finished my antibiotics. Kind of a bit bored of talking about it, so here&#8217;s this:</p>
<blockquote><p>o, so 48 hours of IV antibiotics and crazy Syrian ladies yelling in the bed next to me and NO WIFI (omg death) and so many things beeping and being woken up at 4am all the time so they could change my drip and then at 7am because apparently that&#8217;s when they wake up usually anyways later, I cried and begged them to send me home so they have with lots of codeine and also fuckloads of antibiotics, and now my stomach is much better but my arm is in immense pain from where my veins collapsed under the harshness of the antibiotics and it all leaked into my tissue instead. Moral of the story: ingrown hairs are not a good idea.</p></blockquote>
<p>Many people were wonderful and came to see me in the hospital or afterwards and it made me so happy to have such lovely friends and family and flatmates who provided me with food so I didn&#8217;t have to eat the hospital slop and so I had clean laundry and access to technology to keep me from going crazy.</p>
<p>So yes, even though things are far from perfect (I still don&#8217;t have a job or a flatmate), the awesome things in my life kind of outweigh the sucky, and that&#8217;s the way I would like to keep things, thanks.</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Shacking up</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/11/shacking-up/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/11/shacking-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:53:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad tom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bamji]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chiara]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flatmates wanted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[illustrated]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job hunting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lisa Fur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mary-kate & ashley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[megan wegan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[richter city]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roller derby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smash malice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tiki shack]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[videos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellingtonista]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2759</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is astonishing how much difference a little bit of money has made in my life. Getting paid for the contract work that I&#8217;ve been doing meant I could pay my phone bill. It meant I could get my meds. It meant I could pay rent. It meant I could go see my counsellor and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It is astonishing how much difference a little bit of money has made in my life. Getting paid for the contract work that I&#8217;ve been doing meant I could pay my phone bill. It meant I could get my meds. It meant I could pay rent. It meant I could go see my counsellor and discuss with her how awful it makes me feel to be 29 and in debt to both my sisters and my parents. She told me many times that just because I am bad with money it doesn&#8217;t mean that I am a bad person. We also talked about ways that I can work through things so that I don&#8217;t throw my hands up in the air and give up on everything and retreat to my &#8220;safe&#8221; place at the bottom of the Piths Of Dethspair. Of course though, along with the rest of the world, she is hapu, which means that she&#8217;s going on maternity leave soon so I can&#8217;t have a another breakdown until April, okay?</p>
<p>Job hunting continues to happen. I got feedback from one interview that I went to along the lines of &#8220;We thought you were fantastic. You blew us away. As soon as you left the room, we were all like &#8216;oh man, we wish we had a job for her!&#8217; &#8221; . I am considering being slightly less awesome  in my next interview in order to avoid this happening again. Then again, the contract work that I am doing right now (at which I am kicking ass and taking names) is the result of a similar result from another job interview, so perhaps there is hope for me yet. And next week I will get paid by the government to help my mother cook dinner, so that&#8217;s always good (Serious Entertainment Function hosted by my father. It&#8217;s like the &#8217;80s and the &#8217;90s diplomatic life all over again).</p>
<p>So that&#8217;s the work front. On the home front, while I&#8217;m still looking for one flatmate, Thigh Voltage moved in yesterday and we had hilarious hijinks trying to mandangle a four-seater couch up our very steep and narrow stairs and through our tight hallway. Later that night Anna Jane gave me a neck massage and went &#8220;oh you&#8217;re so tight!&#8221; like a pornstar. I giggled a lot. I recommend her massage services, by the way. <a href="http://ampersand.com">Chiara</a> and Rachel plaited my hair like I was a My Little Pony. We were tiki-shacking it up to welcome Thigh. My house was full of my lovely friends and the glorious roller derby girls and other people who read twitter or something. I had hilarious gossips with <a href="http://cupcakesandmace.com">Kim</a> and <a href="http://mcquillanator.blogspot.com">Laura</a> and <a href="http://ratpony.com">Lisa</a> in the tiki shack (we were mostly in the house because of the wind). My catchphrase this weekend has been &#8220;I drink a lot and I have low self esteem!&#8221; It goes a long way in explaining many things about me. However, the compliments from the roller derby girls about my creepy fandom and also of my boobs (I wore a low-cut dress to make up for not providing much food or drink, you see) went a long way to boosting up my ego to sky high levels. I have been reminded of the fact that the reason I have so many awesome people in my life is because I am actually pretty damn awesome.</p>
<p>Other things of note recently:</p>
<ul>
<li>the meal Bambi cooked for me while I was crying on Anji&#8217;s shoulder</li>
<li>how after I cleaned the fridge out I discovered the only food actually in it was some creamed corn</li>
<li>the hammering I did when Shirley repaired her (stolen) park bench</li>
<li>dinner with <a href="http://meganwegan.wordpress.com">Megan</a> and Laura at Thai Chef</li>
<li>discovering that apparently people a couple of years younger than me don&#8217;t use condoms every single time that they have sex (WTF? How is that possible???? I have had sex without a condom a grand total of twice in my entire life, and I was on the pill and thought I was in a monogamous relationship. There are some things I don&#8217;t fuck around with, you may be surprised to learn).</li>
<li>the insane amount of spirits that we got through last night. So many empty bottles.</li>
<li>eating Ethiopian food for the first time</li>
<li>The things filling up my social calendar &#8211; gallery openings, book launches, Skate Highway One &#8211; Wellington vs Auckland at Roller Derby,  the FOURTH ANNUAL WELLINGTONISTA AWARDS OMG etc.</li>
</ul>
<p>And now some multimedia stuff:</p>
<p>Me winning the best sign competition at the last bout of Roller Derby with this gem which encourages world peace, because obviously I&#8217;m dressed to support SMASH MALICE who won, but also the new flatmate who&#8217;s on Brutal Pageant:</p>
<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 408px"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2494/4088279344_1900252bd3.jpg" alt="Photo by Jed Soane" width="398" height="600" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Photo by Jed Soane</p></div>
<p>Bad Tom teaching Chiara how to tie a cravat before Pride &amp; Prejudice &amp; Zombies:<br />
<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="344" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7Z8jdh2kI4k&amp;hl=en_GB&amp;fs=1&amp;color1=0x402061&amp;color2=0x9461ca" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7Z8jdh2kI4k&amp;hl=en_GB&amp;fs=1&amp;color1=0x402061&amp;color2=0x9461ca" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>That might be it for now, actually. Leave me a comment, I haven&#8217;t updated for a while so give me a reason to <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">be a woman</span> do it more often!</p>
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		<title>The music sounds better with you</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/09/the-music-sounds-better-with-you/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2009/09/the-music-sounds-better-with-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:29:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[101 stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[amy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boys boys boys boys boys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dinner parties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gigs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hadyn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lisa Fur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[martha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[megan wegan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[period]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PPP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resolutions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2725</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I really have been having the most excellent week, and it&#8217;s kind of making me go &#8220;how did I get to be so lucky?&#8221; I love the post period period. Period. Lols. On Wednesday night, I built myself a new site, based on an old zine of mine called You Are So Entertaining. Dot Com.It&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I really have been having the most excellent week, and it&#8217;s kind of making me go &#8220;how did I get to be so lucky?&#8221; I love the post period period. Period. Lols.</p>
<p>On Wednesday night, I built myself a new site, based on an old zine of mine called <a href="http://youaresoentertaining.com"><em>You Are So Entertaining</em></a>. Dot Com.It&#8217;s a party/recipe/stuff site, and I hope you like it. It will continue to grow. I could build another site based on my other zine, but really, this site is pretty much <em>BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS</em> and <em>101 Stories That I Want To Tell You</em> anyways. And I don&#8217;t get to tell <em>You &amp; Me in the Last Days of Bush</em> ever anyway.</p>
<p>On Thursday I headed out to see Martha at <a href="http://wandaharland.co.nz">Wanda Harland</a> and plan <a href="http://www.facebook.com/joanna.mcleod?v=feed&amp;story_fbid=153606733782#/event.php?eid=130115153310&amp;index=1">the opening of her new shop</a>. You can <a href="http://youaresoentertaining.com/help-first-birthday-party-menu-planning/">read more about the planning</a> on You&#8217;re So Entertaining, in fact.</p>
<p>Then I headed home to prepare <a href="http://ratpony.com">Miss Fur&#8217;s</a> birthday dinner. We had papas garbanzo, and Karen made PANDA CAKE (<a href="http://perfectpandas.com/2008/01/08/panda-bread/">based on this bread</a>) and <a href="http://meganwegan.wordpress.com">Megan</a> made raspberry umm cobblers, and Shirley just sat and looked pretty. Even though it was her birthday, I still beat Lisa at some singstar songs. Go me!</p>
<p>Yesterday I did some serious work on a comms plan for my old workmate Ros, faffed around with stockings and got dressed up, and then Miss Emma picked me up. I spooged coconut cream all over her house and we had cocktails. Simon did his sexy dance for Lisa, and went to spank me which I found rather awesome, except for the whole being someone&#8217;s husband thing. We had tremendous fun and I didn&#8217;t even have to use a coaster.</p>
<p>Today I woke up with a hangover and <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/fatshionista/5153111.html?view=118580823#t118580823">a big pile of compliments</a> (god i ADORE Fatshionista so much! I&#8217;m having trouble keeping my clothes on these days). I had trouble starting my car because of the rain, which served me right for asking how many Brents it took to change a lightbulb because he was struggling to fix his headlights, but when I got to Hadyn &amp; Amy&#8217;s there was coffee and pastries waiting for me, and it was almost like being in Vanuatu again, only with better coffee and less tropical fruit. Amy and I discussed secret <a href="http://prettyprettypretty.com">PPP</a> business (we&#8217;re coming close to 1000 comments and so the 1000th person will be getting an awesome prize. Also, we&#8217;re having another girlie party, possibly on Oct 17ish), and then she cut my hair. Hurray!</p>
<p>After that, she told me many things about her vacuum cleaner, such as how it has a motor in the head as well, that it can stand up by itself without needing to lean on anything, and that she can push it with just one finger. I was entralled. I know I am supposed to say that Beatles Rockband was much more awesome, but really, who doesn&#8217;t like a good suck?</p>
<p>Beatles Rockband was fantastic though. I like that there can be harmonising. I also loved singing &#8216;Here comes the sun&#8217; because of the aforementioned happiness, and how it feels like the ice is finally melting and all. They bought me fish&#8217;n chips and I had a very long conversation with Amy about my uncomfortableness with any lack of financial independence, but she said that I give back with generousity. And I did a panda dance for her.</p>
<p>Then! I went out to Newlands to pick up Lisa and also got Shirley and we went to the James Cabaret to see HEAD LIKE A HOLE. Oh my, they were so very awesome after Luger Boa finally got the fuck off the stage. The crowd was all old school, and there were people stagediving, and the bass was all rumbling and my skirt was vibrating, and they played all the songs that i love, and they had a hot girl come out and play the trumpet, and oh, it was just the most giggy gig I&#8217;ve been to in a very long time. Love.</p>
<p>And yes, because of all the good feelings that I&#8217;ve been having lately, I&#8217;ve resolved to try and go a week without saying anything nasty about people I know. I can do this, right? After all, the things I hate the most in other people are the traits that I&#8217;m worried that I myself exhibit. And honestly, all this snarking that I do is partly because I&#8217;m trying to impress Megan and Emma since they&#8217;re both fairly new friends to me, but putting other people down doesn&#8217;t really make me happier (although it can be entertaining!) so I might make a conscious effort to stop, for a week, and see how I feel about that. Of course, this only applies to people I know. #TV3news is still very much an open target.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>One blue line</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2007/08/one-blue-line/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2007/08/one-blue-line/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 Aug 2007 09:33:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[101 stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandoned]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bitch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boys boys boys boys boys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[craft 2.0]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[d&d]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drunk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feminism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[in hiding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kimberley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lani]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[martha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[periods]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pottery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnant?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quiz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smoo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sparc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ssc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stalkers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swimming]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the floor is lava]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellingtonista]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[you're so entertaining]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[youtube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/?p=1743</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Things that I have been up to lately: Yesterday I had a stall at Craft 2.0 at the NewDowse and I had a fantastic time. I sold my mother&#8217;s pottery, my sugar scrub and zines BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS, 101 Stories that I want to tell you and You&#8217;re SO entertaining, my brand-spanking-new zine [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Things that I have been up to lately:</p>
<p><LI>Yesterday I had a stall at <A HREF="http://craft2.org">Craft 2.0</A> at the NewDowse and I had a fantastic time. I sold my mother&#8217;s pottery, my sugar scrub and zines <I>BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS</I>, <I>101 Stories that I want to tell you</I> and <I>You&#8217;re SO entertaining</I>, my brand-spanking-new zine that&#8217;s a guide to cooking and hosting any and every social occasion. I don&#8217;t think I talked about genitals even once in the whole 36 pages, so it&#8217;s a real step forward for me. My half-table was next to the lovely <A HREF="http://kimberleyrothwell.blogspot.com">Miss Kimberley</A>, and opposite <A HREF="http://supervery.com">the gorgeous Sue</A>, <A HREF="http://wandaharland.blogspot.com">the fabulous Martha</A> and the <A HREF="http://objectdart.blogspot.com">dapper Mr Tibby</A>, so it was good people all around, especially since fellow Wellingtonistas <A HREF="http://halfpie.net">Alan</A> and <A HREF="http://miramarmike.blogspot.com">Mike</A> came by. I sold over $200 of Mum&#8217;s stuff, which means that my comission on that plus the few zines I sold and the couple of tubs of sugar scrub meant I made $100 for myself. Nice work. Of course I was in it more for the experience than the money. It was strange to think that total strangers would pay money for my written words and I felt the need to give things away for free instead.</LI><br />
<LI>I lost my camera at the Buena Vista Social Club bar last week on a particularly amusing night out with D&#038;D and Lisa, which sucks cos it means I lost photos of Dave trying to lick his own nipples. Oh, and of course it means that I don&#8217;t have a camera anymore. If you have one you don&#8217;t want, please feel free to donate it to the cause. </LI><br />
<LI>Speaking of causes, today in the much amount of time I spent in bed I finally got around to reading <I>Bitch</I> magazine and so I signed up for a subscription. I need to make sure that I happily call myself a feminist even if I don&#8217;t know all the names and all the theories. I still believe in equality and leveling the playing field, and making the lives of other women better. I found myself crying while reading a piece about striving for perfection and being much harder on yourself than you&#8217;d be on anyone else. And on that note I must go find my meds because I don&#8217;t know if I took them yesterday and that&#8217;s really not helping matters.</LI><br />
<LI>I have been feeling funny lately. Not funny ha ha, but funny like <I>fucked up</I>. And this is really fucking stupid. I should explain about my work situation right now because I&#8217;m aware that I&#8217;ve been really busy lately so some of you might not know what&#8217;s going on. My work situation right now is <I>awesome</I>. Those aren&#8217;t ironic italic tags either. I&#8217;ve got two weeks left on a six week contract as a web advisor, and they love me. They really love me, and they want me to stay, and they&#8217;re constantly giving me so much good feedback that when I said to my manager that it was freaking me out I was only half-joking &#8211; which I hope is more of a reflection on my previous work-places rather than my performance at other times. I would kind of like to take them up and stay, but instead, I have made the brave scary decision to go with the unknown, and move to another government department where I will be investigating new technologies and advising instead. For my job interview for this role I did a ten minute presentation on how the government could use YouTube. I&#8217;m really really excited about it, but kind of terrified. I made very long pros and cons lists, even though some of the cons for my current role were really lame, like the fact that there are three Jos on my floor which means I&#8217;m always turning around to find people aren&#8217;t talking to me. The public servants of the Wellingtonista ultimately proved to be very very helpful in making my final decision, so woo woo to them.</LI><br />
<LI>I&#8217;m drifting off course here but while I&#8217;m talking about the Wellingtonista I&#8217;ll say that hurray, we won the Quiz League that I organised, and that everyone who actually bothered to show up seemed to have a really good time. The Wellingtonista certainly got a lot of gossip out of it. Tucked-in tshirts and sparkly eyes were key features of our email list conversations. And while Wednesday mornings afterwards weren&#8217;t the easiest mornings of the day, I was still able to go to work, which is another indication of how awesome my job right now is.  </LI><br />
<LI>And this is the hard bit to write about, although it&#8217;s been running through my head nonstop for the past while so I might as well get it out. I am not feeling right lately. It&#8217;s like I&#8217;m premenstrual to the extreme, without the physical symptons &#8211; there are no glass boobs here. And my period is missing, I haven&#8217;t had one since May. On Thursday night after stuffing giftbags at Martha&#8217;s I went to New World and bought a pregnancy test. The older woman working the checkout gave me a look of silent judgement, because I was in a hoodie and pigtails, so obviously I was a young whore, and not a married responsible mother. But come on, lady, I was buying cat food as well, not wine! If I was going to have a baby, I&#8217;d say that was a good sign of responsibility. But it turns out I&#8217;m not going to have a baby, which is a relief, because I have done a lot of drinking since May, and I wouldn&#8217;t have the strength of character to deal with a child who had foetal alcohol syndrome. But still the PMS-crazy persists, and I&#8217;m starting to crack under pressure. I&#8217;m hating on everyone, because I feel like pretty much <I>everyone</I> is letting me down. People fail to realise what&#8217;s important to me, and fail to see that the things I put effort into I put <I>a lot</I> of effort in to. Friends realising that they can hang out with my other friends without me in the middle and shutting me out of the loop entirely is my biggest fear. Lani&#8217;s moving out which means I&#8217;m looking for a new flatmate, and that destroys what I thought was me being in control of all aspects of my life at once, for the first time in ages, now that my career is on track. I&#8217;m worried that Smoo will move out too and that I&#8217;ll have to find all new flatmates, and we won&#8217;t gel and that life will get really difficult and I&#8217;ll be banished to my room sobbing into my pretty new black &#038; white cotton bed linen. Luckily my attractiveness as an employee means that I&#8217;ll be financially snug enough to pay the rent for a while should I have to, but I don&#8217;t want it to come to that. I&#8217;m just feeling really really alone and really abandoned by everyone, pretty much, and my way of responding to that is to shut down more and more and retreat into myself and get my hackles raised more and more and oh, it is a stupid shitty cycle which I know I can tone down with more exercise and less booze, but that takes so much more effort. Today I made myself get out of bed to go for a swim, and I had to do it step by step before I could pull back the duvet &#8211; &#8220;Sit up. Put your hair in a ponytail. Unzip your hoodie. Stand up. Reach into the drawer and pull out your swimsuit. Pull on the top. Take off your pants. Pull on the bottom. Pull on your pants. Put on your hoodie. Grab a towel. Grab a chicklit book. Grab a bag&#8221;. And of course &#8220;Drive back and grab your goggles&#8221;. The feel of water all over me was awesome, what I&#8217;d been looking for, and the cardio burst was good. Driving back I was like &#8220;yay, I&#8217;m fixed!&#8221; but it was shortlived and I crawled back into bed after my shower to sleep for the rest of the afternoon. I&#8217;m wondering if it&#8217;s the change in my meds that&#8217;s leading me to feel like this (my doctor left and the new doctor wrote me a script for oval pills, not round ones. I know one&#8217;s the generic and one&#8217;s not, but I don&#8217;t know which) but mostly I just will continue to hope and pray that I get my bleed soon, and sort out my life. Because seriously, this disgruntlement with everyone is not cool,a nd I&#8217;m just terrified that it&#8217;ll continue and bleh, evil bad cycle. Why would people care about me if all I really want to do is punch them? But that said, people who&#8217;ve really impressed me this weekend are Dyl and Dave who came out to Craft2.0 all the way in the Hutt and they&#8217;re not really craft people, so they did it for me and that makes me super happy. </p>
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		<title>The Chocolate Weekend</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2007/04/the-chocolate-weekend/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2007/04/the-chocolate-weekend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Apr 2007 09:25:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[101 stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bowling league]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boys boys boys boys boys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brazil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[citalapram]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[country club]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flat dinners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[frindigo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gilmore girls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gym]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hungover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[i need to fix a link]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[karen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lani]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laundry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[magazines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[me as a cat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[musician '06]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nzaid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[otters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shirley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smoo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellingtonista]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[you're so entertaining]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/?p=1685</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My conversation with Smoo on Sunday morning when I got up (okay, it was actually 5pm, rather than the morning): Me: Smoo, will you provide me with an alibi if I go next door and rip off the heads of the children who have been screaming ALL FUCKING DAY stupidhoppeduponchocolatefuckheadsihatesthem? Smoo: I was going to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><LI>My conversation with Smoo on Sunday morning when I got up (okay, it was actually 5pm, rather than the morning):<br />
<B>Me:</B> Smoo, will you provide me with an alibi if I go next door and rip off the heads of the children who have been screaming ALL FUCKING DAY stupidhoppeduponchocolatefuckheadsihatesthem?<br />
<B>Smoo:</B> I was going to ask you the same thing. Fuck they&#8217;re so annoying, and I&#8217;m not even hungover!<br />
<B>Me:</B> what makes you think I&#8217;m hungover?<br />
<B>Smoo:</B> I fucking hope you are, cos you look like fucking shit.<br />
Hehehe. </LI><br />
<LI>My proudest achievement last week was making my counsellor cry. It was actually because I described <A HREF="http://missdeuxmont.wordpress.com/2007/03/30/tane-i-want-two-otters/">the otter video</A> that made <I>me</I> cry, but still! I <3 her lots and lots because last week when I was having somewhat of a breakdown (yes, again), she said that instead of always thinking about what I <I>should</I> be doing (even in regards to doing Healthful Things like the gym or writing creatively), perhaps I could just picture myself as a cat, and chase a bit of string if it comes along, or eat and sleep. Needless to say I spent most of Easter napping in sunny patches and licking my genitals. </LI><br />
<LI>The <A HREF="http://wellingtonista.com/bowling-its-ooooooooooon">Wellingtonista Bowling League</A> is a go, and I would really like it if you&#8217;d enter a team. Please. Our first night is April 24. </LI><br />
<LI>I had last Thursday off after playing the stupid-girlfriend-holding-her-boyfriend-as-emotional-hostage card at work and so I spent most of the day at my parents&#8217; house as they were away, and our washing machine was broken. I did some loads, and also started my new zine called <I>You&#8217;re </I>so<I> Entertaining</I>. It&#8217;s going to be completely different from <I>101 Stories that I want to tell you</I> and <I>BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS</I> in that it&#8217;s mostly a collection of recipes. Speaking of <I>BOYS</I>, can someone PLEASE send me a copy of it, or send me their original so I can photocopy it? I don&#8217;t have a copy and I&#8217;ll like to start re-reproducing it. I&#8217;ll reward you with goodies if you send it down to me. </LI><br />
<LI>I am in love with magazines right now, but only the good ones. I bought a subscription to <I>Bust</I> because I find it so inspiring, and i&#8217;ve been seeking out <I>Jane</I>, <I>Frankie</I>, and, as usual, <I>Q</I>. In my head I mentally tax deduct these as business expenses. This may be part of the reason that my financial state is so dire. Well, that and the crack addiction. And $85 a week counselling. And drunken Saturdays at Frindigo wandering around on the balconey by myself while boys tried to chat up Karen, wishing that I could erase phone numbers from my head because they are not relevant anymore. And cooking flat dinners on Mondays, as well as providing almost all the wine. Still, at least Lani cooked this week. </LI><br />
<LI>Speaking of Lani, she&#8217;s off to Canadia tomorrow for two weeks for work. I&#8217;m madly jealous and I&#8217;m going to miss her lots. I went and sat on her floor cross-legged on Monday to catch her up on all my silly gossip, and that was fun. Her partner Shayne was down for the weekend, which was rad cos he&#8217;s a very nice guy (he held open a gate for me! what a gentleman!) and things that make her happy make me happy. </LI><br />
<LI>On Sunday night, having risen at 5pm, boiled potatoes, watched <I>The Gilmore Girls</I> (I&#8217;m really not sure how to feel about them getting married!) and made Papas Garbanzo, I headed to Karen&#8217;s house for a dinner party with her and her flatmates and a couple of their friends. Every dish had cheese in it &#8211; the salad, the papas, the risotto, the canneloni and the eggplant bake. Cheese is good. I invited everyone to Country Club: Brazil (which is this Saturday and I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;re coming, right?) and we talked at length about country clubs, and I said how the next one will be a Cluedo-themed English Country Party, and one of the guys was like &#8220;oh I can make the best mix tape for that, and I have the perfect suit to wear&#8221; and I was like &#8220;that&#8217;s the perfect attitude!&#8221;.</LI><br />
<LI>At some stage I went to the preview of <I>300</I>, and I apologise to everyone else who was there if the fact that I was laughing uproariously the whole way through was putting you off the abs porn, but seriously? Gayer than the gayest gay porn I have ever seen. And incredibly historically inaccurate to boot. And the dialogue was lifted pretty much straight from <I>Team America</I>, right down to the inclusion of a &#8220;Freedom isn&#8217;t free!&#8221; line.</LI><br />
<LI>I am so fond of Bart and Smoo right now. I&#8217;ve decided that I hope Bart <I>never</I> shaves off his moustache, because I like the compliments, and I like that Smoo&#8217;s been home lately to listen to me talk shit, and watch TV with me. Hurrah. </LI><br />
<LI>There is a pot of feijoada simmering on the stove right now for Saturday. I have to clean the house before KateH and Shirley arrive. Tonight I must deal with the repairman who is coming for the washing machine again. I tried to get Smoo to do it but apparetnly the man was only available when Smoo was out. This means more racist rambling diatribes. My counsellor uses the same man. That makes me laugh.</LI><br />
<LI>I think that&#8217;s all I have to say (<A HREF="http://www.hubris.co.nz/entry.php?id=502051623#work">*</A>). </p>
<p><LI>Oh and! My citalapram increase has kicked in, and holy crap it feels good. The sparkle is back in my eye again, which makes me more approachable, which makes me more confident, which makes me more approachable, etc. I know right now is the euphoria which is only temporary, but wow, the feeling today as I showered at the gym that I&#8217;d neglected for two weeks after a sprint was like I&#8217;d had a thousand orgasms that I didn&#8217;t have to work for. Well okay, every part of my body was sore, except for my wrists, which is very unusual for orgasms. Heh. But still. A lot of people worry about losing a part of themselves if they go on meds, but this is the way I am supposed to be. </p>
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		<title>In which I celebrate my achievements</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2007/02/in-which-i-celebrate-my-achievements/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2007/02/in-which-i-celebrate-my-achievements/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:53:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[90210]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boulot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clothes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ex-cow-orkers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exercise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[irc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laundry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lisa Fur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lyall bay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nzaid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[on the up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[outdoors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[summer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swimming]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[torrid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unavailable men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[working from home]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/?p=1518</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Once again, I have been neglectful, and for that I apologise. But look outside. Do you really expect me to be indoors at my computer when it&#8217;s as gorgeous as it has been for the past week? Well yes, as a matter of fact, I spent all day at my dining room table typing away, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Once again, I have been neglectful, and for that I apologise. But look outside. Do you really expect me to be indoors at my computer when it&#8217;s as gorgeous as it has been for the past week? Well yes, as a matter of fact, I spent all day at my dining room table typing away, because I slept very badly last night and consequently felt like shit this morning, and so asked permission to work from home. And that&#8217;s not even &#8220;work from home&#8221; as I did a page by page analysis of our site, proofreading, editing and planning for the future &#8211; and there&#8217;s about 100 pages on it. I was particularly impressed with one page that has &#8220;Image: please supply an image and caption in landscape form&#8221; developed as part of the text body, in title tags even, becasue um, hello, wakey wakey whoever developed it. Which wasn&#8217;t me. It was a long long boring job, but it was made easier by the fact that I was in my pyjamas, and Sebastian was curled at my feet, and all the doors and windows in the house were open to let in some air. That was much better than being in the office. It was also great that I managed to do three loads of washing whilst working hard, and also in my lunchbreak I went for a swim. </p>
<p>I have been doing much swimming lately, sometimes in my <A HREF="http://www.torrid.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&#038;M=146736610&#038;ITEM=536502">totally hott new togs</A>, running to the beach after work, or on the weekend when I got totally sunburnt on Sunday. But let&#8217;s talk about the total and utter joy of last Friday first. In fact, let me paste in my drunken summation of it:<br />
<I><br />
So, today I was clever and took my togs to work. But sadly, at lunch today as I wasn&#8217;t going to the gym, I ended up spending $50 at Farmers on lip gloss, tweezers, handcream and eye shadow. Then I thought I would pop into Zebranos cos they were having a sale, amnd I found a dress that I thought would be okay to try on since it was two sizes smaller than I thought i needed, but it ended up being fucking hot, if a little Twee-able, so I ended up buying it, on the rationa that it was $250 cheaper than usual on account of the sale (skipping that it meant it was $200), and then I had to go to Farmers again to buy a slip to go under it. Then at 5pm I ran away and took at #15 and went to the children&#8217;s playground near the Tugboat and found AWESOME private changing rooms and put my togs on and then Karen was there and we went SWIMMING! She pointed and made &#8220;want to?&#8221; motions at me, and so we decided that yes, we would swim out to the raft anchored in the harbour. It was about 100 metres out, and I was a little worried that I wouldn&#8217;t be able to make i, because while I am an excellent frolicker and floater, actual swimming isn&#8217;t actually my thing. But I paddled out there, and clambered on board, and felt my heart go bang bang bang, and we hung out there until we saw hordes of wetsuited people heading for us, so I dived in, and OW, must have done a booby flop cos while I thought it was a good dive, it hurt my tits like woah, but I swam back to the show mostly, and woah like FUN!</p>
<p>Then we were going to meet D&#038;D at Red Square, but since Karl had tezted me about Waitangi Park, we walked through there and found him and Amber and Fia, so we were persuaded to stay, and went to the supermarket for booze and cheese and bread and pesto and corn chips, so we feasted and drank and drank and I played Hackey for the first time ever, and also baseball using a wine bottle as a bat. The police came and told us about the liquor ban, and said we should finish what we had and then move off to Oriental Bay, and I thought &#8220;you are awesome&#8221; and eventually we moved to the other end of the lawn. Fun was had, and <A HREF="http://ratpony.com">Lisa</A> showed up, and then we went to Boulot and the pizza was AWESOME but no one would come swimming with me so I came home. The end.</p>
<p>xojo</p>
<p>PS my dress is AWESOME</I></p>
<p>It is good when things are awesome. When I saw my counsellor last Tuesday I told her I kind of didn&#8217;t even want to come and see her since I was feeling so good and I knew that talking to her would be hard, and we talked about that some more. She asked me about my relationships and I laughed, and later she said &#8220;do you think you deliberately go for unavailable men?&#8221; and I laughed and laughed and laughed, not just because it&#8217;s funny because it&#8217;s true, but also because it seems like such a counselling cliche. I feel a little like she&#8217;s trying to tick every box with me, because now we have decided on something she says that many of the things about me are typical of that thing. But the thing that is grand is that she made me realise that while the pills  have started to work, and the sun plays a part in lifting my mood I can also be proud of all the work that I have done to get myself into this state of being mostly okay again. So hurrah for me! What a clever girl I am. </p>
<p>What else do I have to tell you about? Tomorrow I am going to the Great Blend where people will no doubt refer to me as a blogger, and I will no doubt cringe. On Saturday February 10, I will celebrate ten years of Internetting. Yes, I surfed before, but that was the first day that I stumbled upon IRC, and therefore became addicted. In July I will have had a personal site for ten years. Ten years. Imagine that! And on that note, it must be time to put away my computer for the night. I am tired from doing so many loads of washing, and work, and making pesto, and cooking Papas Garbanzo for Lisa, and then going for a sunset swim at Lyall Bay. But before I go, I must throw mad props to Tori Spelling, because Donna Martin in Season One? Fucking hilarious. </p>
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		<title>Samantha Penney</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2005/06/samantha-penney/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2005/06/samantha-penney/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Jun 2005 04:44:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[illustrated]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[needs images]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[penny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rarotonga]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weddings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/?p=312</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a picture of me that Penny drew on New Year&#8217;s Day in 1996: She drew a similar one on April 24th 1999. Tomorrow when I stand on a beach in Rarotonga and watch her get married, I hope I will see an even bigger smile on her face, because she is a wonderful [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is a picture of me that Penny drew on New Year&#8217;s Day in 1996:</p>
<p>She drew a similar one on April 24th 1999. Tomorrow when I stand on a beach in Rarotonga and watch her get married, I hope I will see an even bigger smile on her face, because she is a wonderful beautiful person and deserves all the happiness in the world.</p>
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		<title>10 November, 2002</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2002/11/10-november-2002/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2002/11/10-november-2002/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 Nov 2002 03:34:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bopha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fireworks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good tom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[i kissed a girl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PASH!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the drugs do work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Midnights]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2255</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So today I am in a happy blissful content mood, and it&#8217;s lovely. Maybe it&#8217;s because it was gorgeous and sunny today and KatieH stopped by and suprised me, and we went to Devonport together and ate wonderful food and then walked by the water getting icecream all over my hands. Maybe it&#8217;s cos my [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So today I am in a happy blissful content mood, and it&#8217;s lovely. Maybe it&#8217;s because it was gorgeous and sunny today and KatieH stopped by and suprised me, and we went to Devonport together and ate wonderful food and then walked by the water getting icecream all over my hands. Maybe it&#8217;s cos my drugs have kicked in. Maybe it&#8217;s cos I know that I&#8217;ll be okay, jobwise, cos I can stay working where I am, cos it&#8217;s only $16 a week less than the dole, and i&#8217;m really liking the people I work with. Or maybe I&#8217;m happy cos&#8217;o the crazy party last night, at the Rogues&#8217; house, with mad crazy drumming styles improvs in the kitchen, and a man in a reverend collar, and lots of crazy people and fireworks and making out in the kitchen with a lovely young lady. Actually, it was really more just a lot of kissing than actually making out &#8211; I tried to restrain myself. But anyways. Life is definately looking up. Stuff is all going to be okay. So maybe this is what happiness means to me &#8211; security and not needing to worry about everything so much. And that&#8217;s great. I have more to write but I might go call Tom instead cos my wrists hurt, adn I have an exam tomorrow &#8211; for corporate com, which I&#8217;ve already passed. Kickass.</p>
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		<title>5 November, 2002</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2002/11/5-november-2002/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2002/11/5-november-2002/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Nov 2002 03:30:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[benIV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bopha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cipramil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clayton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coffee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drunk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[glasses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guy Fawkes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[harry potter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[i had a crush on the quizmaster in auckland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jeremE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[justin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[med school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[orgasms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quiz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the drugs do work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the slab]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[written whilst drunk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2253</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay, so just because someone produces the magic substance that wakes you up does NOT mean that you should trust their decisions. Oh no. So if the boy who makes you coffee once or twice a week recomends that next time you have a VANILLA soy latte, don&#8217;t do it. Even if you love Vanilla [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Okay, so just because someone produces the magic substance that wakes you up does NOT mean that you should trust their decisions. Oh no. So if the boy who makes you coffee once or twice a week recomends that next time you have a VANILLA soy latte, don&#8217;t do it. Even if you love Vanilla Coke. Even if you&#8217;re easily swayed. Don&#8217;t do it. It tastes RANCID. Moral&#8217;o the story is, don&#8217;t take tips from men who listen to lifeFM or happy hardcore, and have mutton chops.</p>
<p>Oh look, Jo&#8217;s talking real trivial issues, she must be feeling better!</p>
<p>And actually, I am. even if Cipramil leaves me with a dry mouth and totally inadequate orgasms and weird dizzy spells sometimes. Oh, plus I have a totally burnt thumb. But I suspect that has more to do with Guy Fawkes than any other mental affliction.</p>
<p>So where were we? We talked about the coffee, which sucked. I trained today to do the WebDev Guy&#8217;s job while he&#8217;s away on leave. He put a sign on our office door that has the Communications Administrator Job being done by a &#8220;Joanne&#8221; McLeod. Apparently this is his reaction to Bridget telling him off for spelling it &#8220;McCloud&#8221;. I was like &#8220;Skew, you just gave me all your passwords for the webserver, are you sure you wanna say bad things about me?&#8221;. I hope he knows I do actually like him, even if there is a little &#8220;friendly&#8221; tension between me and Terri&#8217;s replacement. I&#8217;m still infamous at work for doing so well at the quiz on Friday night, and of course for the Hula dance that went along with it.</p>
<p>I worked from 10-3pm today, serving at Skew&#8217;s leisure so that he could teach me before he gets all mad panicy, and then I went for my eye appointment, which is very heavily subsidized by my organisation, as long as I made it clear that I need glasses to operate my VDU. I made it very clear. The guy was all young and nice, being a final year Opotometry Student, and it turns out that my glasses are WAY TOO STRONG on my left side. He was nice but too close in some parts, and I felt like I was supposed to pash him, because really, that&#8217;s the only time you&#8217;re supposed to hear people breathing like that. And then we got to the room where to try on frames, and he put the first pair&#8217;o frames on me, and he was like &#8220;yeah, that&#8217;s so it&#8221; and we tried on lots more pairs, but he was right, the first pair really suited me, even though they were $300 frames, and we couldn&#8217;t find anything nice that was cheaper (&#8220;I have expensive tastes!&#8221;) plus when someone is so convinced that something looks that good on you, it&#8217;s hard to argue, isn&#8217;t it? I told him off during my (incredibly long) eye examination cos he kept laughing at me when I was so obviously wrong reading letters, and he was like &#8220;hey, it&#8217;s boring to be so clinical&#8221;. He also got an abridged version of my full medical history because he damn well asked for it, and yes, thank you, I appreciate why I&#8217;m having dizzy periods, and I&#8217;m paying $120 an hour to sort that out, and I appreciate that you&#8217;re taught to do this, but seriously, get back to writing me out a new glasses prescription. Thank you.</p>
<p>And then this evening there was Quiz, but when Clay and I got there, who was sitting outside but *IV (damn, I wish I was into full name disclosure styles, cos it&#8217;d sure as hell make things easier) and I was like umm &#8220;okay, I&#8217;ll go get the beer&#8221; because i am LAME and because he totally wouldn&#8217;t even look in my direction at Justin&#8217;s last party, and then KateH showed up, and eventually Peter (Hi peter, you&#8217;re choice even if you&#8217;re not scrawny in a tight tshirt anymore) and a friend of his, and that was our quiz team, although Bo and Leo put in an appearrence for a little. At one stage, I went out to the bathroom, and *IV was out having a cigarette, so I kicked his chair, and said hey, and said that he didn&#8217;t need to be afraid&#8217;o me cos I didn&#8217;t mean to cause trouble at all in any way. He said he was back with his g/f and I said that I knew that, and that was cool and I understood, and he was like, &#8220;but you were the first girl since her&#8221; and I said that he&#8217;d told me that at the time, and then I told a kinda lie and said that I was in love with the boy who&#8217;s party we&#8217;d hooked up at (a lie in that it wasn&#8217;t LOVE as such, but definitely some kinda big feelings) and he was like &#8220;what, Justin?&#8221; and I laughed my head off and I was like &#8220;don&#8217;t you remember &#8211; we were at a party in Herne Bay&#8221; and he was like &#8220;ooooh&#8221; and I said that he was quite probably the nicest boy I&#8217;d ever had sex with, and I&#8217;m sorry that I&#8217;d snobbed him the first time I saw him after we&#8217;d had sex but I hadn&#8217;t expected to see him again quite so soon, and he was like &#8220;I got a snub in the Hub&#8221; which was actually really funny and we were both like, mutal admiration for how cool each other was, and he said that he&#8217;d got the note I left him in his letterbox that said he was a total sweetheart, which is true, and he said I had great taste in music, and we had a laugh, and just parted on super terms. So that was lovely.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, back at Quiz. OH MY GOD! Okay, so every Tuesday, we call ourselves &#8220;The Slab&#8221; on account of it being our apartment name, right? Well, tonight not only were there &#8220;The SLAB&#8221; but there was &#8220;Peanut Slab&#8221; as another team, and also &#8220;FUCK THE SLAB&#8221; as a team name. ATTITUDE! Anyways, we won, and so that&#8217;s a $50 tab for us to drink next Monday when I&#8217;ve finished my first exam. No more Quiz nights at Vesbar anymore, at least not over summer. He took my number and said he&#8217;d call if he started working somewhere else, but Meh, I doubt that&#8217;s what I would like it to be, then him and me and KateH played with Sparklers in the Quad. It was pretty choice. ANd then I went up to Kelly and Rowena&#8217;s and we set off fireworks on their roof and I burnt my hand. I went home cos I was so drunk I could hardly stand up anymore, especially in the rain, and Kara and Clay and Bo and Leo were all watching Harry Potter, and there were Nachoes on the stove, so I was stoked, and that was cool, except, my god, maybe kids have mucher longer attention spans than I do, cos I so could not be bothered concentrating, so after an hour and a half, I headed off here.</p>
<p>But doesn&#8217;t it make you happy? Look, Jo all conscious and stuff &#8211; and like, sure she&#8217;s drunk, but that just means that her OOS doesn&#8217;t hurt as much, and yes, I am, I am looking after myself, MUM. ANd soon, I will post you a rant about happiness, and also about Therapy. White MiddleClass Girl Angst etc. Love you all &#8211; well okay, that&#8217;s a lie. Love all of you who you know who you are, and care about some of the rest of you, and are glad some of you read me, adn would very much like some of the rest&#8217;o you to fuck off now please. Thank you. Xojo.</p>
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		<title>Again</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2002/09/again/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2002/09/again/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Sep 2002 07:32:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bopha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cleavage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crushes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cuddles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[d&b]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fatty Si]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good tom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[justin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[karen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mum]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pr]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taxi drivers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tripping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Welly Massive]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/?p=2323</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So one of the things that we talked about last night in the so many hours of conversation that my throat was sore this morning about how it&#8217;s so much easier to write when you&#8217;re unhappy because when you&#8217;re joyous you wanna hold it all to yourself and just smile over it, and so I&#8217;m [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So one of the things that we talked about last night in the so many hours of conversation that my throat was sore this morning about how it&#8217;s so much easier to write when you&#8217;re unhappy because when you&#8217;re joyous you wanna hold it all to yourself and just smile over it, and so I&#8217;m going to make an effort to share my glee with the world. Although of course, in that case maybe i should play something other than the Cure, but that&#8217;d mean like, Brian Adams or something &#8211; my parents have an awful lot of cds, but very few good ones, since Mum seems to have hidden all her NZ music.</p>
<p>But here&#8217;s where we&#8217;re at. There is a mouse running around in ym bedroom in Auckland, which meant I slept on the couch on Tuesday night, restlessly, having weird codeine spiked dreams. I shrieked at the mouse, and wanted to jump up on a chair. When I rang Tom for reassurance he said I sounded the most feminine that i ever had. And now of course, my landlord&#8217;s phoneline doesn&#8217;t work, and her cellphone is out of range, so I am not a happy camper at all! Or at least, I wouldn&#8217;t be, if i was still in Auckland. But as it happens, I am in Wellington, with a big stupid grin on my face. So there.</p>
<p>Oh for fucks sake Tom, is there anyone you DON&#8217;T know? Stop trying to be Kate Hamlin. Or Justin, I guess this case is, kinda.</p>
<p>Where was I? Oh, Bo and I struggling with my suitcase up to behind the Sheraton so I could get the bus to the airport (I have now traded with Momma for her suitcase on wheels), then the flight to Wellington being completely bumpy and horrible. I was smiling like a crazy woman cos we all know i like being scared, whilst trying not to be sick as we landed. Then Momma picked me up and we had lunch at the Crank Cafe, and I got to go home and have a nap before having to drive her places in the van so she could get the tyres changed on the car. Mmmmm nap. And hten I took another one after that, so nice to not have to worry about mice running around. After that, I had dinner with Mummy and Daddy, and they dropped me off at Espressaholic to meet up with Fatty Si Si.</p>
<p>I had a drink there with his friends, and then as soon as we stepped out on the pavement, Henry started making me laugh because he really is a very strange boy. It was so nice to finally get to see Simon again too, cos he kicks so much ass. Anyways, so we headed up the road to Traffic, which was booked out for Ayna&#8217;s party. It is SUCH a nice venue, I am so totally going to have something there sometime. It&#8217;s the old Indian restaurant that used to be public loos before that (yes i know, it sounds wrong but it&#8217;s just so right). One round room at one end had a tiled floor, and a fresco ceiling and turntables set up in it, and the other round room at the other end had a pretty blue ceiling that ended up looking like the ceiling at the Civic to me, and persian rugs and low couches, and in between those rooms is an area with a pool table, and then another area with a regular nice kinda bar in it, and it&#8217;s all painted dark red, adn there&#8217;s a fire in the bar bit. So yeah, fantastic venue. And there was just such a good vibe going on, cos there were three people having their birthdays, so it was all friends and the place was full, and it just felt really nice. Lotsa djs took turns playing, and it was all fullspectrum drum&amp;bass and also lotsa different kinds of hiphop, and there was a guy mcing over the drumandbass at times, so it was very cool. I danced my ass off. I talked to lots and lots of people. I lisped my way through half a little piece&#8217;o cardboard. Si Henry and I sat in the corner of the chillout room for ages and ages and ages, covering a heatvent up with a plant cos it was too hot and I felt like iw as going to die from laughing so hard at them singing a little worker&#8217;s song &#8211; stampy stampy sorty sorty stacky stacky. If only i had a song like that, I&#8217;m sure my workdays would fly by too. At some other stage of the night, a girl pulled out a container of kalamata olives out of her bag, and Si had a sack of pistachios. I love Wellington people who carry backpacks! I wormed my way into conversations with random people when I got bored,a dn defended the &#8220;dark arts&#8221; that I studied before finally hearing that one of the guys I was talking to worked in Communications anyway. I suggested that someone run around the block if they had too much energy and lauhged soundly when they actually did. I danced and danced and danced and danced, adn then I danced some more. The music was amazing and everyone was dancing so well. I love poeple who do mad things with their feet. It was such a good night! Si left sometime around 12, and I thought about going with him cos he&#8217;d said his flatmate was away so I coulda crashed there and saved cabfare, but i was having far too much fun. I didn&#8217;t really get much of a chance to talk to Ayna,b ut she seemed really happy that I was there, so that was cool. One very e&#8217;d up girl who I&#8217;d never met before hauled me to my feet and told me off for crossing my arms in front of myself &#8211; &#8220;you don&#8217;t have to cover yourself up! you&#8217;ve got a beautiful body (with a little handmovement curvy drawing thing too)! don&#8217;t you like yourself?&#8221;. She was scary and made me self concious, wheras before then I&#8217;d been far too happy and comfortable and mellow and chilled out to even think about shit like that (oh and i was wearing my cleavage top, which I love). Eventually I just sat on a couch on the dancefloor for hours, having a long and engrossing conversation about the history of Soul Music (&#8220;I love hte vibe,&#8221; he says, and then he says &#8220;let&#8217;s just sit here and enjoy it&#8221; and he leans in even closer, puts his head on my shoulder and we almost fall asleep). And then I walked him across town and had ot leave in Cuba Street cos there wouldn&#8217;t have been any more taxis, and the driver was just grinning at me going &#8220;so you had a good night did you?&#8221; cos he would have seen the dithering, and hte hugs and the kisses on the cheek. And I smiled all the way home.</p>
<p>This morning Mummy woke me up for brunch &#8211; pancakes and bananas and pig, and she wrote me a list&#8217;o things to remember, and then they left, and I floated around the house all afternoon. This evening i went to another PR function, this one held in the Portrait Gallery of Bowen House. It was okay &#8211; I talked to some people. Steve Maharey (Minister of Tertiary Education and Broadcasting) gave a speech, adn then I went and talked to him and he gave me the name of the guy who runs his media unit so that i can express my interest in working htere. No one flat-out offered me a job. Then I went to see Anji, and she didn&#8217;t have a key to our house and i knew I&#8217;d locked myself out. I went home to meet up with KateB but our neighbours were out, and the laundry window was shut, so Kate and I had to drive back to town to Karen&#8217;s to get the key off her. My time down here is going to be so hectically social. Everyone wants a piece&#8217;o me, and while I want a piece&#8217;o everyone too, right now after last night, I think there are people that I want more pieces of than others. I&#8217;m filthy. Except that I&#8217;m actually not, because once again, when I actually really like someone, I respect them far too much to make a move. Darn.</p>
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		<title>Monday the 25th of December &#8211; Xmas 2000</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2000/12/1444/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2000/12/1444/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Dec 2000 08:15:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[justine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[karen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ngaio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[olivia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parents]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shirley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spice girls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[xmas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/2000/12/1444/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So how are we all then? I&#8217;m fantastic. I&#8217;ve had a brilliant day. My cellphone&#8217;s been beeping constantly, and I&#8217;ve just talked to all these wonderful fantastic people and it&#8217;s just been ace. Yeah. Sorry, when I get all happy sometimes I just can&#8217;t express it very well. I think I&#8217;m better at expressing sadness [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So how are we all then? I&#8217;m fantastic. I&#8217;ve had a brilliant day. My cellphone&#8217;s been beeping constantly, and I&#8217;ve just talked to all these wonderful fantastic people and it&#8217;s just been ace. Yeah. Sorry, when I get all happy sometimes I just can&#8217;t express it very well. I think I&#8217;m better at expressing sadness or longing, which is dumb. So I will try and just explain how at peace I am right now, how mellow I seem, and how secure I feel, but I can&#8217;t really. It&#8217;s kind of like waking up every day to the sun shining on a spiritual level, but that sounds too hippy. </p>
<p>So I got presents that made me happy (wok! toolkit! lots and lots of books! big day out ticket!), and I gave presents that made me happy because they made the receivers so happy, and that was fantastic. And then the Bentons came over, and that was ace too, because surrogate parents and all. Hayley came over for lunch, and she was sweetness and light and just lovely. I rang Olivia and told her we were having Tuna steaks for dinner, and that it made me think of her. She said &#8220;every girl should think of me when they&#8217;re eating tuna&#8221;. I talked to Kini and told her we ate eggplant which made me think of her. I talked to Leigh last night and that was choice. And there was phone calls to Kate B and Maree and texts with Shirley, and then there was an email from Justine which said she was in Wellington. Oma came over for dinner , and I got feisty with her and threatened to kick her ass if she didn&#8217;t do our dishes. But it&#8217;s never polite to beat up your grandmother, so after she went, I went and met Justine. </p>
<p>Hi, I&#8217;m Joanna, I&#8217;m studying Anthropology with Justine at Canterbury &#8211; I&#8217;m originally from Wellington, but my boyfriend wanted to do his masters in engineering which is why we moved down. We&#8217;ve moved around a bit, but we mostly live in Fendalton. I took her on a drive-through tour of the city, and probably bored her to tears, but hopefully i was more entertaining that family watching Notting Hill. I haven&#8217;t met anyone off the &#8216;net in aaaaages. The last person I met was umm well apart from that, it was the fabulous Leigh. Meeting people is easy. Now. </p>
<p>Karen and I just watched the end of a very odd movie staring the Pet Shop Boys. Spiceworld was much better. Meatloaf has had a very diverse range of movie roles, hasn&#8217;t he? Dances with Wolves is on now, but I&#8217;m not paying any attention &#8211; I just like the sound on to cover the ticking of the lounge clock. Tick tick tick tick tick. Does it make me paranoid that I can&#8217;t stand to hear it?</p>
<p>I really really wanna watch Last of the Mohicans now, cos we were playing the music from it before, but no, it&#8217;s a goddam Kevin Costner Injun movie on, innit? I didn&#8217;t get any cds for Xmas, but I really cannot complain. In fact, what I can do is be absolutely stoked with life in general and I am.</p>
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		<title>December 8, 2000</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2000/12/december-8-2000/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2000/12/december-8-2000/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Dec 2000 07:53:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clothes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[driving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[north shore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nscc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/?p=1429</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So I&#8217;m cruising around the East Coast Bays this morning, in one of the fleet of company cars, air conditioner and stereo cranked up, sun shinning, pohutakawas in full bloom and seas sparkling, and I was like &#8220;this is my job? this is what I&#8217;m getting paid for?&#8221; and oh lordy was I ever smiling! [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So I&#8217;m cruising around the East Coast Bays this morning, in one of the fleet of company cars, air conditioner and stereo cranked up, sun shinning, pohutakawas in full bloom and seas sparkling, and I was like &#8220;this is my job? this is what I&#8217;m getting paid for?&#8221; and oh lordy was I ever smiling! I had meetings around our various area offices today to discuss suitable venues for our roadshow. I felt so so fake every time, like a kid dressed up in her mother&#8217;s pearls and high heels. But i think I did well anyways. I wrote a three page report on my findings that my boss was too busy to look at anyways.</p>
<p>Course, it wasn&#8217;t all fun and games. Right after my first meeting, walking through a carpark in Glenfield, I discovered that my Thai silk skirt, made out of 50 year old fabric, was ripped right across the thigh and ass, and it would have been like that throughout my whole meeting. It&#8217;s always so professional to be clearly displaying your black satin panties, isn&#8217;t it? So I had to drive home, in the coporate car, and get changed, but that was cool.</p>
<p>I also got my &#8220;induction&#8221; today, so now I officially know where the lightswitches are. And the first aid kit. And I have full stationary cupboard priveledges &#8211; ph33r me!<br />
I&#8217;m really really really dizzy right now &#8211; the desk is doing dives and leaning all over the place and stuff. It&#8217;s very very odd. I get to sleep over 5 hours tomorrow &#8211; exciting! Plus there&#8217;s a BBQ and goodbye drinks for Hayley. Everyone&#8217;s fucking leaving me. That makes me wanna cry. But I won&#8217;t, because mostly it&#8217;s just over the summer, and that&#8217;s cool, I&#8217;m too busy being corporate woman and all.</p>
<p>We changed our answering machine message tonight. Now it sounds like an ad in the personals column. I wanted to end it &#8220;I like walks on the beach, going to movies, kittens, commitment and SODOMY&#8221; but Brad wanted to say &#8220;FUCKING IN THE ASS&#8221; and we couldn&#8217;t agree so it&#8217;s neither. Which is probably slightly more palatable for the landlord and associated tradespeople that call.</p>
<p>Godboy broke into our house today and used up practically the last of our toilet paper. I&#8217;m getting a restraining order against him.</p>
<p>&#8220;Subject to the provisions of the * Information and Meetings Act 1987, all transactions, records and information pertaining to the business of * shall be held in strict confidence by you both during the period of employment and also after its termination&#8221;</p>
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		<title>Red Book III</title>
		<link>http://hubris.co.nz/2000/06/red-bppl-ooo/</link>
		<comments>http://hubris.co.nz/2000/06/red-bppl-ooo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jun 2000 09:26:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>johubris</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Journal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anji]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cafes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comedy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dreams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flatmate wanted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[full house]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[garland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[haircuts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospo snob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kateb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[melbourne]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[playstation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[puking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pure joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[red book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shopping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stoned]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thomas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whedon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wine]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hubris.co.nz/journal/?p=1599</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[These are highlights from my journal that I kept in my red book in Australia. Obviously, it&#8217;s not everything. I was doing a whole bunch of thinking, and no one needs to read all of that. But these are the entertaining highlight parts. Wednesday 21/6/00 , 2000 Again, Anji had to work early, so I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>These are highlights from my journal that I kept in my red book in Australia. Obviously, it&#8217;s not everything. I was doing a whole bunch of thinking, and no one needs to read all of that. But these are the entertaining highlight parts.</em></p>
<h2>Wednesday 21/6/00 , 2000</h2>
<p>Again, Anji had to work early, so I stayed in bed. Either today or tomorrow, I had really crazy odd dreams. In the first one, I was like the receptionist at a brothel operating out of a school. In the second, I had me a big bag&#8217;o heroin that basically looked like kava powder, all brown like. I remember Anji was telling me not to touch it, yet I was snorting it off my little finger. Being on heroin was really dreamy. I was dumb though, and drove my car home, absolutely fucked up. But yeah, it was just a dream.</p>
<p>Another cruisy morning around the house by myself. I just wish that my bed was more comfortable! Around 3, I got my shit together, and headed off to Brunswick Street. I wal,ked leisurely down it, aking time to go into lots and lots of shops on the left hand side of the road. I had another brilliant coffee at Atomica, and another brilliant sandwich. They were playing Che Fu &#8211; Anji says it&#8217;s owned by New Zealanders. They sell a coffee blend called &#8216;Aoteraroa&#8217; which is apparently Coffee Supreme &#8211; the same stuff they use at Olive.</p>
<p>I went back to the cyber cafe also, to find a nice long email from Maree. Apparently Kate Benton has moved in. Yay! That was very very exciting news. I find it amusing especially that it took Maree to tell me. I sms&#8217;d her to tell her I was emailing her, and lo and behold, she wrote me back straight away. She&#8217;d been watching Full House. Heh!</p>
<p>Eventually I met up with Anji at Joe&#8217;s, and had a drink. Then she and I went to meet her friend Leila and this other chick at a pub called the Punter. I got a trifle bored, cos they talked nonstop about work. Eventually we left and Anji and I went to a restaurant called Retro for dinner. It was really cool &#8211; old formica tables, mismatched chairs and tea towels as serviettes. I had linguine with tomato, bacon, basil and parmesan, which was yummy &#8211; not quite the creamy pasta I was craving, but close enough. Anji had a thai beef salad and we shared a bottle of red (for a change) We got cake takeout from Joe&#8217;s on the way back home.</p>
<p>We rented and watched <em>Plunkett and Macleane</em> about highway men with Johnny Lee Miller (yum!) and Robert Carlyle. It was dumb, but entertaining. I want an 18th centuary breast-squishy dress! Then we watched Angel whilst smoking the ever present pot. My clothes reek of smoke. Must wash them before I hit customs.</p>
<h2>June 2000 &#8211; Thursday 22nd</h2>
<p>Okay, going back in time now (it&#8217;s actually Saturday). That&#8217;s okay though, cos I am actualyl pretty smart and I think I can follow my own diary. Hopefully anyways!</p>
<p>So yes, Thursday. It was raining and all horridible and grey, so I didn&#8217;t really want to leave the house. I played psx for a while, but couldn&#8217;t find Tekken, unfortunately. When I did eventually leave he house, it was with my hood up. I debated abut buying a tshirt with a picture of japanese girls taking photos on it, but i restrained myself.</p>
<p>Anji was watching people playing cards when I got to Joe&#8217;s. Her and Guy are no longer friends anymore, unfortunately. Appparently he wanted her, but when he got over that he was also over the friendship. Ahh life&#8217;s a beetch, isn&#8217;t it? Yes indeedy.</p>
<p>Anyways, I was really sick, and getting steadily sicker, a cold degenerating down into a cough. Still, we walked to Lygon Street to meet up with her friends &#8211; Boring Mark from Wellington, and Helen Preston from oldskool days. And maaaaaaaaan, were they boring! I mean, they&#8217;re very nice people, but so so boring! We went to dinner at some Italian restaurant that looked nice, but the food was very mediocre. I had fettucine with bacon, mushrooms, cream and pesto. It should have been hotter. The waiter kept filling up our wine glasses, which I don&#8217;t like because we&#8217;re all perfectly capable of doing that, and it sucks to be rushed. What was even worse was the speed with which they cleared our plates. Not impressed! Fuck I&#8217;m such a hospo snob!</p>
<p>After dinner we went to a bakery for coffee, lured in by all the goodies in the window. I had a florentine but it was too thick, and not buttery and cherryily like it should have been. Ahh well. Then we wnet to some comedy club by the Nova movie theatre. It was about 150% of the size of the Classic, and painted black. The tables were pushed together so it reminded me of Soup Plus. I went and threw up cos I felt sick, and was really disturbed by seen bits of blue plastic in the toilet bowl, until I figured they must have been from day/night capsuales.</p>
<p>The comedy was okay &#8211; the sets were too long though. We left after the MC and one act. I was sooo tired, you see. Taxi&#8217;d home. If I ever find a meellion dollars, I owe it ot the cab driver. Okay then! In bed, I read for ages <em>Love in the time of Cholera</em>. It&#8217;s amazing!</p>
<h2>Friday June 23rd 2000</h2>
<p>It&#8217;s been two weeks. I must say those two weeks have gone by amazingly fast. I hope the rest of the time from here to that elusive &#8220;Long Term&#8221; that i&#8217;m better off in goes by as quickly.</p>
<p>Anji didn&#8217;t start work until 12, so we&#8217;d discussed going shopping to get a pressie for Niel, but I was too tired, and feeling a little too sickly. But later I got off up and set off (got off indeed, Gary Glitter!) for Brunswick Street &#8211; for the last time.</p>
<p>For my first stop, I went to a shop called Fun that sells jewellary and accessories. I bought a pewter coloured lurex scarf that&#8217;s so cool it can stretch out to shawl size as well. I also bought some body glitter. I wanted to get Anji some flowers, and also something candle-y. So, i looked in lots of shops. I went back to Net Central, but had no new emails. Then I decided it was time for some food, but i had no idea where to eat. I investigated a couple of cafes, but nothing really appealed. Then I went into a place called The Fitz thinking it had counter food, but they didn&#8217;t. However, I felt kinda intimidated, so i stayed for coffee and a muffin. They served the muffin on a full sized dinner plate, dusted with icing sugar and a flower out of raspberry coulis, which seemed a little over the top. It was too hot, and I burnt my fingers on melted marshmallow. Other than that though, it was nice!</p>
<p>I finally managed to find Anji a little paper lantern candleholder, and I bought her a candle to go in it as well. The woman in the African store I went into was like &#8220;wow, yo&#8217;ve got so much hair&#8221; &#8211; and I didn&#8217;t know how to reply to that! Everyone kept trying to sell me poetr or their new novel and stuff &#8211; I just smiled and shook my head. I was in a brilliant mood! I stopped at this funky flower shop to combind electric-purple little flowers with orange daisy thingies &#8211; it was an unusual combination but I think it worked well! Then I went back home and had a lovely bath, languidly shaving my legs and stuff like that. Then I lay in bed for a couple o hours, reading the fabulous book and doing my nails. Just before six, Ange walked past the door and was like &#8220;oh, I didn&#8217;t know you were home &#8211; I&#8217;ll cut your hair now if you like&#8221;. Which, of course, I liked. So I wet my hair and went down to the kitchen. While Ange cut my hair, her and Rachael and this guy Richard were talking about the flat they&#8217;re going to move into probably &#8211; in a building called &#8220;The Max&#8221; (I must remember to tell Brad!). Richard was going to call his mother to do a tarot reading on the vibes of the place. They were also talking about how Ange gets energies off the poeple whose hair she is cutting, so she uses protection balms and washes her hands and the energies way after each person. Luckily I had my hair over my face so I didn&#8217;t have to smirk too much!</p>
<p>Later we drank red wine while waiting for everyone else to show up. Richard was playing the Coldcut cd, so I asked if he had gone to the gig and we had a good chat about free tickets and and rock bands and yadda yadda. Eventually Timmy surfaced and Anji came home with Lee, so we were just waiting for Mikey. He came home with a prompting phone call, in a car with two other chicks, so Rachael and Richard went with him, and the rest of us piled into Lee&#8217;s car. I am so stoked with my hair. It&#8217;s about 3 inches shorter, and just has so much more shape now. Which is good!</p>
<p>Mihn Mihn&#8217;s looked really full, but they found space for us upstairs &#8211; lucky cos there were 10 of us. It took aaaaaages for everyone to order &#8211; Anji and I got sweet&amp;sour fish, and duck with plum sauce. Dishes all arrived at seperate times, which meant we all had to drink a lot to fill in time. I tried one of Racheal&#8217;s scallops, and it was really nice. Everything tasted so good, apart from Timmy&#8217;s cold rice paper rolls. If they&#8217;d been hot, it would have been scrumptious. The fish was exquisite. Unfortunately, the duck came last, by which time we were almost too ful. But of course, I managed to cram some in. Mmmmmmmm! The bill came to $13 each &#8211; so good!</p>
<p>Back home we went to open the last bottle of red, and smoke pot, as per usual. I went upstairs and promptly threw up. A lot. It&#8217;s a mark of how good the food was that it tasted almost as good going out as it did in! By that stage, I was quite quite drunk, and turning melencholy, almost crying in the darkness. I associate the taste of vomit very strongly with someone. More than anything, I wanted to make a call, but I knew it was past 2am in NZ, and that no one would answer the phone. I even wanted to leave a voicemail message, but somehow I restrained myself. It helped how drunk and cute Racheal and Ange were. They took lots of photos of us, in between kickboxing and telling stories that went nowhere. Eventually, Anji and I were both really tired, so we went upstairs and I finished &#8220;Love in the Time of Cholera&#8221; &#8211; awww such a sweet good book! Love CAN last 70 years!</p>
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