Hubris.co.nz

My ambition was always to use the time between jobs to come off the zopiclone, so for the past month I was gradually cutting down my dosage. I’ve talked before about how my shrink has gone AWOL (as Shirley put it the other day “trust you to get a crazy shrink”) so I can’t get new prescriptions, and so about a week ago I ran out completely. I had been on half pills for a week, so I was ready for it. Or so I thought.

The other day I didn’t get to sleep until 11. That’s 11am. Last night I was still awake and making sandwiches around 4am. When I finally do sleep, I do so until all hours of the afternoon because I don’t have a solid reason to get up in the morning. I think I might become a phone sex operator for a service in the UK or something, I might as well use my powers for good, right?

It’s been interesting though, watching twitter falling silent as first NZ and then Australia goes to sleep. I’ve learned that listening to pod casts doesn’t help me, and that there are only so many hours one can watch Whedon shows or read young adult fiction. I’ve learned that if you know you’re going to be sneaking out afterwards  because you’re not going to sleep that you should make sure that you throw all your clothes in the one place to make finding them in the dark easier. I’ve learned that the benefit of having friends on random morning shifts or up with babies is that occasionally you’ll get to pass twitters in the night and that’ll help you not feel quite as alone as watching the sun come up by yourself tends to make you feel.

Other than the sleeping thing, and the unemployment thing, time is passing rather nicely. I mean, it would be nice to sleep properly so I could achieve more during the day, but my social circle is pleasing right now, and I have numerous events to look forward to. People are providing me with delicious food and delicious company, and that is nice. I am struggling to not spend money which is annoying now that I have so much more time in which to spend it, but I’m cooking more for myself at home which is pleasing and cost-effective. I made some killer blueberry & almond pikelets the other day, for example. And with the eating of the vegetables, and with some photos of Jon Hamm on vacation that Jezebel did warn me would tug at my ovaries came a brief day of bloodening, and I’m still glassy and stomach-crampy when I orgasm so I know that there’s another period coming soon, which means two in the space of a month, which is like, woah, that’s what normal people do. It’s somewhat pleasing to me.

I still have miles to go on tagging all my hubris entries and getting that squared away, and I need to build my portfolio site as well. But there are so many upcoming events! Flatwarmings and Word Camps and Bar Camps and Bad parties, and birthdays of Karen and so  on and so forth. Oh, and Vanuatu, in less than three weeks. That pleases me tremendously.

Sleep in til late then walk around the house in crisp navy sheet, as opposed to semi-soggy light blue sheets, and eat brie and fresh breadlike I never do in Auckland and listn to Anji and Mum snipe at each other which is pretty wearisome until I go and take drowning showers and then Anji and I do the supermarket shopping and probably save our parents hundreds of dollars by buying cheaper brands, despite the shampoo and stuff we throw in the cart as well. We were even so good that we didn’t throw batteries in amongst it all. Rah rah rah. Yet despite it all, I still had to eat meat and potato and vege for dinner. I’m used to vege vege vege and rice. Do they really have to use that much vegetable oil/add that much dairy fat? No, no they don’t! But they still do, ick!

Evening was the usual grab a couple’o cheap bottles from their racks adn ask someone to drive me to Ayna’s. She’s got a new flatmate so it was reaaaaaaaaal weird walking in – the place was tidy adn there was HOUSE music playing! Crazy. But yeah blah blah blah rah rah rah Ayna and Daniel and Katy and Brad and then it turns out Brad was engaged to Katy the whlole time he was engaged to me so we slapped him lots and were dancing and dancing and dancing adn there was some hiphop thing somewhere thtat we walked to, but I’m not really sure where – did it used to be the Fat Cat cafe? And yeah rah rah sleepy so I went home an my cab driver said PR was bullshit and I was sure I had him in 95/96 when i first fell in love and so he was laughing at me and yeah and telling me about how good the sixties were and fuck i’m tired, bed and smothered noises for me! xojo.