Hubris.co.nz

Sunday June 23rd

Did you notice and appreciate that while I wrote a drunken entry that really didn’t say anything, it was at least legible and non-abusive? I must be getting better.

Yesterday a huge throbbing evil migraine sent me to bed around 9pm cos I was covering my ears and moaning every time Bopha talked. She woke me up later when Leo came over with panadol. Dammit, I wish I had a boyfriend to bring me drugs. The panadol didn’t do much, but the sleeping did. When I got up today, I still had a headache, but two large cups of coffee made it go away. I’m chowing down on herbal sleeping pills now cos I have a 9am exam tomorrow that I’m basically fucked over – I have no idea as to its nature or content or anything, so there wasn’t a huge point to the study that I did. But I will get an A anyways, I figure, because I like Joseph. So there.

The only other thing really of note today is that my breasts have grown since i started taking the pill. I hope they don’t keep growing – I was quite happy with the size they were before (although it would have been nice if they weren’t lopsided). Now I feel buxom (as opposed to just fat). I’m also worried that I’m going to enter a period of hugging people and smothering them in my bossoms. I guess that’s not such a bad way to die, all things considered. Sorry, I know i’m talking garbage, I’m sure you’re well used to it by now.

Okay, the pills are making my body melt into my chair and the floor now, so I should no doubt sign off and crawl into bed. One exam tomorrow, one exam Tuesday and then I’m freeeeee. Actually I have no idea how long my holidays are for. Hmmm. Did I just entirely sleep through the past six months? Possibly.

Oh, also, Tom sent me a tub of Arousal Gel for my birthday. The blurb on the packet says “Cool and Tingly, Refreshing Flavored Body Arousal Gel For Any Erogenous Zone”. I wasn’t aware that I was having problems getting aroused, but anyways, in the name of science and all that, I can tell you that it’s just like rubbing menthol chapstick on your nipples – ie, not very exciting at all. Although of course, it’s spearmint flavoured. And the weird thing is that I didn’t think that it was at all weird that he should send me such a gift. I think everyone needs friends like that, even if people don’t get it.

Wednesday, June 11th

Repeat after me: free stuff is good. Awhile ago, Clayton got a postcard in the mail inviting him to the preview of ‘About a Boy’ (you know, Nick Hornby & Hugh Grant type thing etc etc) which promised food and liquor before hand as well. Clay wasn’t home at the time, so I texted him with the hypothetical question “Hey, if you should ever get free tickets to ‘About a Boy’ would you take me?” and of course, he stupidly said yes he would, so I presented him with the card when he got home. Ha. It made me laugh a lot at the time, because just the day before, i’d explained to him that generally when girls ask for things, they already know if it’s possible or not (ie: “Clay, can I borrow a half a tomato?” “Sure, there’s one in the fridge” “yes I know, that’s why I want to borrow it” etc). So anyways, that movie was today.

But if we want to veer back in time, we’ll start at the start of my day, which was some time after noon, because my bed was just so damn comfy, and also I’d been up late talking on the phone to my Attention Seeking best friend in Chch (I swear, I’m so defensive lionness with cubs eh). I think it’s so important that there are people that i can say “I mango bleach” to and worry about The Hot Potato Syndrome and they know what I’m talking about. Plus our new insult for one another is “hey, stop attention seeking” which is funny if you know the context and potentially offensive if you’re the person I got it off, but hey it actually really offended me, so there. (And I think I tried to say that in person, but I’m always so much better at bitching about it after the fact). Anyways, so where was I? Oh yeah, day at home, doing housework. I cleaned my room! You can actually see all the concrete now, which is not necessarily a good thing. And I divided my notes up into their three topics, which is half way to starting studying, isn’t it? I don’t have an exam for a week though. Blah blah.

Around 5, Clay and I walked to Newmarket for the movie thing. He mentioned that Kara would probably be really pissed off that he’d taken me and I chuckled more that was polite but oh well. Then my arch on my right foot got really really sore, so I guess that was my punishment. The free food and liquor was at Lonestar, and there were masses and masses of people so it took ages to get a drink, meaning Clay and I only managed three each in the 45 minutes that we were there. The food consisted mostly of tortillas and dip. Waiters kept walking past with plates of ribs which we wanted, but they got put on other tables and we couldn’t be bothered getting up. Some nice ladies came along and tried to pick up Clay, and he felt all special cos he knew lots of people there from his work. I should stop laughing at him so much. The theatre was also really full so we had to sit too close, but the movie was really good. Hugh Grant is getting hotter as he gets older, which is disturbing, and the kid was so cute! I want a 12 year old son. (hmm, i should have been more sexually active in 1990 and not been concentrating on getting Mum to buy me Subway shoes and a peace necklace I guess).

After the movie, we went and got Burger King, which I instantly regretted and took a bus home. Bops and Leo were sitting in the lounge patiently suffering through Buffy because I was taping it (hey man, she’s coming back from the dead!) but as soon as it was over, Clay watched the soccer that he’d taped and I made lots of phonecalls to arrange my birthday dinner. I wanted to have it at Saigon, but they’re shut on Mondays so I’m having it at a Turkish place instead. Then I rang around trying to organise my friends, most of whom didn’t answer their phones – kate & kate, I’m looking at you here. I did manage to get aholdo Justin, who said he might come, and then we talked about Brand JK reliability, which is amusing. It’s where I do most of my shopping – so I put in a pre-order as well. Ha, fuck I’m terrible. And boring.

I put the wrong link in to my birthday wishlist last night, but it just occured to me that i have to say “Hey, if you’re my friend, and you’ve had a birthday this year, and I have been to your celebration, I hope you haven’t bought me anything, because I didn’t buy you anything and I would feel (a little)bad”. See, I do have a conscience after all. Last night while I was lying in bed I realised that when work finally DOES pay me, it won’t be the one week’s salary I was expecting, it’ll be FOUR weeks, and that’s kinda really cool. OH MY GOD! THEY PAID ME! I HAVE A POSTIVE BANK BALANCE! I haven’t had one of those since i left Foodstuffs. I can pay the rent, AND the phonebill now. I can even have a good birthday, and I can buy KateH drinks tomorrow night when we go out (except that you try so hard to not talk to me about reading my journal, so you can’t ask for them so HA!). And I can ring up WINZ and cancel the $50 a week they lend me which they’ll be cancelling in a couple of weeks anyways cos I will no longer be doing enough papers to qualify as a full time student, although apparently there’s something else I can be wot says I still qualify. Sorry. It’s just really exciting.

And that’s about me for the night, eh. My neck really hurts from that damn sitting too close to the movie thing. Maybe I should have a hot bath. I wonder if that’d help me sleep. It’s funny taking herbal supplements to make me sleep because they completely relax out my body so that it feels really heavy and sinks into the mattress and I can hardly move but my mind is still going a trillion miles an hour. I’m due for a bleed in a couple of days, and I’d know that even if wasn’t for the diane35 packet telling me. Midcycle I get mad protein cravings, and then I get sleepless and my breasts get fuller and look glassy and probably in two days time I will be really really sad and cry at the drop of the hat. It’s so interesting (to me anyways) watching myself change. Go womanhood. I bet you’re all just holding your breath until I get pregnant or some mysterious wasting disease and I write about that in great length every single day. Not that I’m thinking that any of you would wish disease on me, of course (because hey, everyone loves me, right?).

I thought of a new look for Hubris that I wanna do, but I have exams and secret things and charity work and momma’s site (still) to do first. But then maybe there’ll be a logo! And tshirts! And merchandise! And branding! Perhaps.

Monday June 10th

Somehow I managed to only get four hours sleep last night, and since i had to work at 10am, that’s really not that cool eh. As I was leaving home, Bops was like “I don’t want you to go to work! I want you to stay home and hang out with me” which really is a lovely sentiment, but unfortunately, someone’s got to earn the fucking bacon around here (not that I’ve been paid yet, and this is my fourth week there, so things are starting to look a little worrisome). I even let the coffee man talk me into a pumpkin&pecan muffin with my latte (“how are you and how was your weekend?” “really tired thanks, and pretty crap, how are you?” “should I make that a double shot then?” and I think: “oh you lovely man”) because he’s always trying to pitch them to me and today I was sluggish enough to be vunerable. They were really good though. According to Teri, that place is notorious for trying to upsell.

Work all day was good, we had our weekly meeting and I volunteered to do a new database, because I knew that if I didn’t I’d just get assigned it anyways because I’m the bottom’o the heap and plus I have lots of free time. So doing the database was kinda sucky, but everything else was good. Also, I’ve arranged my days and timetable to accommodate my three exams and also a week long jaunt to the town’o Well. Yeah. So pretty much that was my entire day. Oh yeah, and I’ve asked this elsewhere, but if you’re Aucklandwise, please recommend me a restaurant for my small and intimate dinner gathering to celebrate my birthday NEXT MONDAY. I need it to be BYO, innercityish preferably and cheap. And good, obviously. Also, if you haven’t been invited to my birthday dinner it’s either because A) I don’t like you or B) I forgot to and will very shortly get around to it or C) you know you’re not My Girls but D) you are most definitely invited to my birthday party on the 29th, here at theslab. (And of course when I say “you” that’s assuming you actually know me and are not a crazy fucking get the fuck away from me you psychopath kinda person)(Oh shut up Joanna, no one wants to come to your fucking party anyways)(And if I slot in one more set of brackets, I get the next one free).

Tomorrow I intend to start studying – or at least sort my notes out by subject anyways.