Hubris.co.nz

Every year I answer the same 40 questions to do a stocktake of where I’m at. Check out previous years here.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

• Got made redundant
• Stayed overnight in hospital
• Lost items of value in a burglary
• Had my first threesome. And my second. And my third.
• Had an intern.
• Replied to someone on an internet dating site and then slept with them.
• Received over two grand’s worth of free stuff for being a blogger (the $1200 freeview box made up a lot of that)
• Went to Roller Derby
• Won a “Best Fan” prize
• Kissed 17 people in one night (hurray for kissing booths!)
• Had someone pay for me to get into a strip club, and also tucking money into strippers’ underwear for the first time
• Willingly (ish) went through a break-up.
• Had someone throwing me a surprise party.
• Worn red lipstick frequently and confidently.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Apparently my resolutions for this year were about taking better care of myself, and although I did continue to sleep with the married man for a bit, we did indeed eventually break it off, so yay me. And then I resolved to never sleep with a married person again, which is a good resolution to have and I have yet to break it again. I also resolved to have breakfast with someone after we’d slept together, and while I thought I’d achieved that when I woke up with a boy for the first time since 2004, we didn’t actually have breakfast, unless you count helping ourselves to one another’s genitals again. Oh oh but actually, I did make wedges for a lady caller that we ate in bed together so I guess that counts.

My new resolution is to articulate myself better when I don’t like something, rather than just dealing with it. As in “please take your hand off my leg” instead of moving chairs, or “Actually I don’t like Hawaiiian Pizza” instead of just avoiding those slices. Etc.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Fucking buttloads of people had babies this year! Specifically Martha and Brenda and my best friend Penny from high school. Still more of my friends are pregnant right now, and it’s all a little bit over the top, if you ask me. I can’t have breakfast with a boy and you all can get married and buy houses and have babies? Unfair!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, but people very close to people I am very close to did, and all I could do about it was text stupid jokes every day and send care packages of Noel Fielding.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sydney for FullCodePress (thanks to the lovely Tash Mahal) and Vanuatu for fun.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Breakfast with someone, obviously, since I can now cook eggs. Also, a job. And let’s say a proper public relationship where the person I am with shouts it from the rooftops.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The Wellingtonista Awards again because of the work and the memories that I was a bit scared of. December 10 because it was my ten year anniversary of fucking. July 17 for my ten years of Hubris party and because it was when I relaunched this site in Wordpress. June 30 for being my last day at the SSC.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly, I had a motherfucking buttload of bad shit happen to me this year, and so the fact that I’m still in good spirits, that I’m happy, sort of healthy and am able to keep going on, and that I’ve ended the year with all my friendships intact and even with new friends is pretty fucking awesome. Go me!

9. What was your biggest failure?

Honestly, I’m shocked that I don’t have another job yet. I know that I am hireable, that I have many skills and talents and the fact that I’m still unemployed is really weird. I’m also disppointed that I’m not as over someone as I’d like to be, but that’s not something you can force and you definitely can’t get over someone by being under as many people as possible. I’ve learnt my lesson on that front quite a few times this year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Depression as per usual, some nasty flus, withdrawl from zopiclone when I finally came off them, and also hospitalisation after an ingrown hair gave me cellulitis. But apart from that, no!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My laptop(s) that allow me to download and watch copious amounts of television. Also every present that I’ve bought for others that has allowed me to demonstrate even the smallest fraction of how much I care about them.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My family who have continued to lend me money and buy me things like a new laptop after mine got stolen and I didn’t have insurance, who paid my power bill for me so I wouldn’t get disconnected and who aren’t demanding that I pay them back for our trip to Vanuatu. Also everyone this year who’s bought me a drink or a meal in exchange for my company, especially Tom, who is insanely generous. My friends who’ve helped me out of emotional jams, listened to me bitching and moaning and kept me company through the long dark winter, Smoo whose quiet presence in the house is always welcome, and everyone who gave me orgasms this year and fucked me til my thighs ached.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Management at SSC and everyone else who didn’t hire me, people who think that hitting kids is okay, the cunt who burgled us, and anyone who has treated my friends badly.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Double rents and unemployment.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Roller derby! Kat & Kane’s wedding! Harvestbird & Knedd’s wedding! People having babies!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

‘So here we are’ by Bloc Party becasue it played while I was lying in my lover’s arms for what we thought was the last time, and so that he wouldn’t see me crying I buried my face in his neck and we fucked because it fit the narrative structure that way. And also ‘Some time around Midnight’ by the Airbourne Toxic Event, even though or actually because as Good Tom says there’s far too much pathos in it for one song. It’s like the story of my life condensed down into four minutes. Oh and because it was so recent, ‘Halo’ is standing out in my mind right now too.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, despite all the crap. I am getting better at dealing with everything.
ii. smaller or larger? Larger, by a lot probably.
iii. richer or poorer? Much much poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Physical activies and community service. Also, I wish I’d put more work into You Are So Entertaing but I still can!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting time on Twitter and Spider Solitaire and watching crappy television. Passive-aggressive texting and emailing. I sent some spectacularly nasty drunken emails this year and I am very not proud of them. My defense of being desperate for any kind of reaction is not good enough.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

My parents and Karen came over to my house and were joined by Bad Tom and Shirley and I cooked amazing food and we gorged ourselves and had a thoroughly pleasant time of it.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
WINZ. Heather and Kat <3.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

I didn’t fall, I stayed in.

23. How many one-night stands?

Three? In terms of one-offs, there was a girl, there was Tingle and there was the guy from Internet dating. I did see the girl again though, but only in a friend capacity. In addition, there were multiple occasions with the married man, the duck and the crazy girl. Oh, and I had intended to have a playdate with the boy who’d watched me and the crazy girl in his hotel room, whose kiss made me a little weak at the knees, but despite some textage, the stars didn’t align. Which is probably for the best.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Mad Men, Community, 30 Rock, Dollhouse (!!!!!)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope.

26. What was the best book you read?

Oh god, have I actually done any reading this year? I liked Generation A but not nearly as much as Generation X. I don’t think I can remember any other books, really, which I know is pretty terrible. Don’t tell Karen okay?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Umm, getting a subscription to Last.FM? And taking all the contents of Emma and Lisa’s hard drives?

28. What did you want and get?

A laptop. To wake up in someone’s arms. Lots and lots of pashes. Amazing collections of friends. An overseas tropical holiday and some weekend jaunts other places. To get on the dole and be left mostly alone (well, I’d rather I didn’t have to, but it was a struggle to get here anyway). The ability to sleep without zopiclone.

29. What did you want and not get?

An invitation to Foo Camp – I worked really hard to prove myself this year hoping to get one and I didn’t. Sad face. Also, a new job, and at the time of writing, a full house. Paying extra rent is killing me. A real relationship. An ONYA nomination.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I’m not sure what movies I actually went to this year. There weren’t very many of them, that’s for sure.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On my actual birthday I got free coffee from Green Land, I went to work, then I went to the Backbencher for someone’s goodbye drinks. I was feeling nauseous so I only drank gin. Then with my family I went to Elements for dinner which was amazing. Prior to that, my amazing sisters threw me a freak show surprise party! It was amaaaaaaaaaaaazing! I turned 29, which means I’m almost 30 now. Crikey!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Finding a new job shortly after being made redundant with a bit of time for a holiday in between.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

I’ve got really into the Fatshionista community and started posting outfits of the day before my camera got stolen. I’m still trying to be Joan Holloway. I’ve also started wearing red lipstick, thanks to the lovely Megan.

34. What kept you sane?
My amazing counsellor, my family’s love and financial support and my fantastic friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Noel Fielding? Jon Stewart still makes me moist. As does ummm oh I don’t know. People? Stuff? Things? Tom Coates and that other guy from Webstock. Matt Bidulp? I can’t remember. Oh! And Victor from Dollhouse.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Ridiculous bullshit redundancies, strangely enough. Oh yeah, ICT’s totally not going to be a growth area…

37. Who did you miss?

The secret relationship. All my friends who are in other cities, especially Heather and Kat’n Kane. Really angry I missed out on meeting Ghetsum again cos I was too sick. And Good Tom, who shouldn’t have left to go to America, fucker.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Oh my gosh, I met so many awesome people this year, like Kim and Laura and Amie through Twitter, Chiara and Theresa and Julie through Pretty Pretty Pretty and also my new flatmate Thigh Voltage and through her the derby girls. Also, I’d already met Megan before but I feel like we became really good friends this year and that’s always worth celebrating.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
The people that care about you want to be there for you. You just need to learn to ask for help.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“I get by with a little help from my friends”.

Wednesday July 28th, 1999

Man, I am soooooooo tired, like keeling over in my seat. I just spent an hour making Kumara Gnoochi with Roast Tomato Sauce. So go figure. Oh yes, AND I spent a motherfucking whole fucking hour and more on the bus coming home from tech today. And before that I spent like 50 minutes on the bus coming home from tech. I came home in the middle of the day cos I had a four hour gap and nothing to do. I needed to nap, anyways.

Why did I need to nap? Well, quite apart from the fact that I’m ALWAYS ready for a nap, I’d had a bit of a rough morning. We went out for Kate’s birthday last night, you see. Drinks at her place, and then I shared a bottle of wine with Marisa at the restraunt. SPQR made me the most gorgeous gnoochi in the world, with bluecheese sauce and stuff – mmmmmm! I was initially really scared cos I got introduced to a guy called John, who looks just like Kate’s dad, and because her boyfriend’s named John, I thought that was him. But luckily Amber put me straight, so I didn’t have to worry for Kate. Well, not too much, anyways.

Kate passed on information I’d told her in confidence so we ended up having a huge big discussion all the way down one half of the big table about that, which was actually quite amusing. Her friends were all really cool, especially Bailey who I kept thinking was named Britteny. Oh yeah, and Marisa and Theresa rock my boat, too.

So yes, it was all very good. Kate and I had tremendous reminiscings at her place while we were drinking beforehand. We used to be really nasty to each other. She told me I’d once put her off her favourite dress by saying it was ugly, and not good enough to wear to my birthday party. Meanwhile, she told me I had a big nose and fat lips. And yet, despite all that, we’ve been friends 14 years. Kodak Moment!

Anyways, as a consequence of last night, I was really dizzy today. Plus I have a sore throat coming on, which sucks.

I learnt HTML today. Man, I’m so proud. I’d show you my efforts but they’re on the network at tech. But stick around man, cos BOY, they’re worthwhile!

Also worth noting was that I talked to last year’s Eye Candy today, which is always cool.

Saturday 13; Febuary, 1999

Hmmmm. Okay. Saturday. What the fuck did I do all day long? I really have no idea, eh. No comprehension at all.

I do know that I rang up Kate, who said she’d come and pick me up sometime after six. So I went and put on some makeup. I used my astonishingly styley blue and green stuff, making the blue go halfway across my eye from the inside out, and the green extend out to the far corners. If you have no idea what I mean, here’s a photo of me only in the green

this is from my seventh form fancy dress ball

As you can see, the colour is quite, quite vivid. And don’t I have styley eyebrows? So yeah. Kate showed up and honked her horn a lot, so I had to run out the door. I clambered into the backseat of her boyracing GT (I think that’s what it is – maybe it’s a crx) with Maressa cos Theresa was on the front seat. So we were just about to start off when Kate asked me what I was drinking. I said “red wine” and asked if they had a bottle opener. They didn’t so I had to get out to get one. This is where it gets interesting, because the ceiling in that car is low enough at the best of times, but it’s a real bitch to get in and out of especially. So I was trying to clamber out, when wonder of wonders, my foot got caught in the seatbelt. Guess who ended up sprawled on the footpath? That’s okay though – I played it really cool, lying on my back and whistling casually like it was what I meant to do all along. I think they bought it too.

So yeah, we had a very scary drive back to Kate’s, but made it there somehow in one piece. We settled down on their deck to do a little drinking, and I met her flatmate Matt (yet another one). He’s a window glazier or however you spell it. Vaguely cute, but a stoner, and basically, I am so over the ’stoners are cute’ thing. People who are a little bit more aware are definatly a bonus. We also ordered pizza, and I was greatly relieved that it was a different Eagle Boys deliverer than the one who’d laughed at me the last time I was at Kate’s.

I only had about half a bottle of red, while the others knocked back lots of vodka and orange. Eventually we finally left the house (it took the girls like 3/4 hour to get glammed up enough). So yeah, we walked up to Ponsonby Road, which took like 20 minutes or so. There were so many drunk people and stuff all crowding to get the best view of the road. I hate crowds. I guess I’m slightly claustraphobic like that really.

The parade was actually really boring for me, I think – it was all very lacklustre, and I couldn’t see very much. I mean, I’ve never really liked parades anyways, and this just seemed really tired. But I’m still all in favour of having it. There were like 200,000 people there that were fully getting into it, so that’s cool. I’m just I dunno – bitter or something.

Then we went to Calabria or something like that, where Theresa used to work. Kate brought a gelato, and I begged and begged her to get Pistachio flavour, which she eventually did, but she said I couldn’t have any. Bitch, so I had to buy my own. Both of us ended up eating like less than half of ours each – think of the waste and the starving children in Africa, man!

They decided to go back to their flat for more drinkies and catch a cab into town later, so I walked back with them, and called a taxi to take me home straight away. It got there like 5 minutes later, so I didn’t realise, and stupidly went up to sit at the end of the driveway a little bit later. I waited for like 40 minutes before ringing up the taxi place again, who sent me an ‘urgent’ one. My cab driver was really cool, too. We had a big long chat about ummm I don’t remember what, actually. About Hero and stuff.

I got home and went online. Clayton came home too so I chatted to him for a bit – gave him a glass of red wine which I think he dissed. Honestly, what’s wrong with all you people who prefer white over red? That’s just nuts. So what if I’m so classy the wine I buy is $6.95 a bottle???

That’s okay though, cos I polished it off by myself, up till nearly 5am again. Memo to Joanna – must reset body clock, must reset body clock.

Monday 8; Febuary, 1999

this came from Engine. Sorry if I’ve broken any copyrights

I scanned this in today for someone and I figured that you might enjoy it too. I mis Frankman, and I miss Engine too.
I finally talked to Dee this morning. Sheesh, I haven’t seen her in like, years. She rang me while I was lying in my new big bed, feeling kind of like I was on honeymoon only I was wearing scummy pj bottoms and an ugly tshirt instead of my authentic 1970s orange and yellow honeymoon neglige or my 1960s Barbarella slip.

There are some tasty visuals for you, huh? Anyways, she was just as enthralled as me to learn that her best friend from early High School, Theresa is none other than the Theresa of Kate’s friend fame who has been responsible for a great deal of damage to my body these past weeks. So yeah.

Kate came over today, and told me I was going to her place on Saturday for drinks before the Hero Parade. I told her I don’t like parades. She was like “but it’s the HERO Parade”. I don’t care if it’s the Hero Parade. That’s no different in my mindset than a Santa Parade, a Saint Patrick’s Day Parade, or that really really stupid thing they had back in ‘95 when everyone wore red socks and threw paper in the street because of some boat winning some expensive race and I was the only person left in my English class because everyone else wagged to go and see it but I was protesting. Anyways, Kate doesn’t take no for an answer ever. Someone remind me please to take along RED wine with me so that I don’t have repeat inncidents of last time’s capers. Choice.

Speaking of stalkers – not that I was, but hey, my rinky dinky counter told me this morning that I’d been linked to from a journal entry on Olivia’s page. Who is Olivia? Well, I was asking myself that same question when I got an authorization request from her on ICQ. So yeah, I had a chat to her, and she was really cool. She said that she’s been seriously thinking of ringing me up on my cellphone, which made me giggle heaps. Can you imagine that, being rung by someone you don’t even know while you’re out in public and are showing off anyway? Well, I got good visuals of it, anyways.

What else? Oh yeah, Kate helped me dis-assemble my single bed (“if you were a green metal bedframe, you’d want to be hit with a hammer too” as I said to her when she complained about the noise) and so this evening I rearranged the lounge to acomodate it

Clayton: “I’m jealous because both you and Simon have beds with wrought iron headboards”

Me: “Well soon, anytime you feel like playing ‘tie-me-up’ games, you can just do it on the single in the lounge”

Of course, that conversation didn’t take place today, because he’s in the Coramandel. That’s actually kinda lucky, all things considered, because I got a tape in the mail today from Andee. It’s got awesome stuff like 5ive and Billie on it. I was singing and dancing like there was no tomorrow.

And if there is no tomorrow, you’ll need the following websites to amuse yourself with:

www.myboot.com | www.jailbabies.com – I reccomend Felicia

thanks to kini for the urls and for stalking me so well

Saturday 6; Febuary, 1999 – Waitangi Day
When I woke up, I thought I was in bed with Kate. I was wrong. I was in bed with Theresa. I don’t remember her coming home at all, but apparently I woke up and talked to her until she told me to go back to sleep, whereupon I replied “Sweetass Bro” and did so.

Then we had another interesting conversation when Kate jumped on the bed with us.

Theresa: “Kate, did you throw up last night?”

Kate: “No”

Joanna: (giggles)

Theresa: “Joanna, did you throw up last night?”

Joanna: (giggles) “No”

Theresa: “Yes you did, I found your tshirt. Where’s my towel?”

Kate and Joanna: (giggles)

Theresa: “You used it to clean up vomit didn’t you?”

Kate and Joanna: (giggles)

The moral of the story is that Kate drove me home at 8am, and I gave her some nice fluffy towels, cutlery and one of the phones to take home with her. Then I grabbed a big bottle of water and tumbled into bed. I got up again at 12.30pm cos my BED was finally delivered. YAAAAAAAY.

So I looked at the pieces of it for a while and went back to bed, but I couldn’t sleep so I had a really long nauseous shower, got dressed, and decided to assemble the fucker.

God I wish I had a man, and that man had a tool kit. Two hours later, my bed was all in one piece, only the head and footboard are kinda loose. Like, hitting the wall with the slightest movement kind of loose. But I guess that makes it more exciting in a rickety old whorehouse kind of way. Better fill in the form.

So yeah. Later I took a nap on the bed, leaving it wrapped in its plastic shroud. I felt like a piece of meat on a butcher’s counter. That was kinda cool. I felt ill all day. The Wendy’s I got for dinner actually made me feel better. That’s sick and just wrong.

Friday 5; Febuary, 1999
I finally rang the people at Farmers and they told me that my bed is being delivered tommorrow – YAY. So y’all can go and fill out the form in anticipation. I’ve only had like five offers so far, which is shocking. Come on, you all know you want me.

Hahahah sorry, excuse me. I’m severely hungover now (feb 6). Oh yeah, I guess I should explain how that came to be, huh?

Well I had a nothing day – I kept waking up in the morning, which sucked. Maybe it’s because my curtains are nearly transparent. Light is so annoying. I was just so dead all day long, and I fully did not feel like going out. However, I knew that if I didn’t leave the house, I would sit around moping. Kate didn’t wanna come pick me up, so she gave me garbled directions to her new house in Ponsonby. I took a bus into town, then a taxi from the Sheraton.

The taxi driver was really nice, and a bit into Astrology, which was amusing. He was telling me about his 16 year old step daughter, who’s a bit ‘fiesty’ at times because she’s a Libra. And I talked to him stacks about my course and stuff. He was choice. So yeah.

Kate and Theresa made me wait outside until the security lights to go on so that they could give me the proper tour of their house, including their two inch hot tub, yellow lounge, and assorted bedrooms. It’s a very cool house, and I’m quite jealous, only I do love this flat dearly too. We inflated two airbeds, and that was all the furniture that they had. But that’s okay, cos I got to drink (white – ick) wine from cool plastic cups.

A whole bunch of Theresa’s friends from the Shore and from Dunnivegas came over, and we all sat around for ages talking about about the most do-able cartoon characters and stuff. It was so very fifth form, because it was all girls. I remember I got warm fuzzies cos Kate told me that Theresa really liked me, and Marissa said she liked me too, so yay. I’m so easily pleased, man. Then everyone went to town except for me and Kate, so we went next door because the neighbours had invited us over.

There were three guys there, and two girls, all sitting around on the balconey, talking and drinking. I guess they were around 25. So we sat and yacked to them for a while. One of the chicks had a kid, and so we told her about Jess. They were really cool, except that I think Kate felt a bit ashamed of me because I just wanted to get horizontal (as I do when I drink) so I was lying on their balcony. We left when two of the guys and the chick with a baby disappeared to have a threesome. But the baby wasn’t there. I should probably just make that clear.

Back to Kate’s house we went. I climbed into her huge big clawfoot bathtub. It was like being in a massive egg, deliciously cool, and suprisingly comfortable. I could have stayed in there forever, if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to go and vomit. I think it was the mug of Absolut Citron that caused that. I’m not used to drinking quality vodka, you see.

So yeaaaaaah. Umm. I lay with my head on the toilet seat going “KATE! Make it stop! Make the room stop spinning”. She just laughed and laughed at me. I thought she didn’t have any hairties, but I woke up with my hair in a pony tail, so I guess she put my hair back for me. I was so ashamed that I wanted to die, but since she spent all last year in Dunedin, Excessive Drinking Capital of the World, she just laughed. I guess this was payback for her coma’ing in my bathtub when we were 15.

Then we ordered pizza. Of course, there was no phone in her flat so I had to ring it off my mobile, (021 21 27 920 hahaha I so wanna be rung) which took ages cos I had to punch in like our location and stuff. I don’t remember giving the guy our address, but I did tell him I had $20 and I wanted an apricot chicken pizza. He told me that he was going to send over a deal with garlic bread and chips and pepsi. Bless his little boots.

Kate and I laid down on one of the airbeds, and had a heart-to-heart which was very amusing. She told me the pizza wasn’t ever coming, so I thought that was a bit rude. Then I felt sick again, so I started throwing up in a jug that somehow was in my hands. I imagine that Kate, the good faerie that she is, had given it to me for that exact reason. So yeah, there’s me, sprawled across the floor, chucking up for all I’m worth. That’s when I notice there’s a stranger standing in the room.

It was the pizza boy, and he was laughing his head off at me. Through mouthfuls of bile, I imagine I laughed a little myself. I think I probably would also have sworn at him, and maybe said that I hated him. Poor lad, I’m sure he’s crushed. Not.

I guess I went to bed shortly after scoffing a lot of pizza, dragging one of the airbeds into a little room. I couldn’t untie the knot in my sleeping bag cord, so I stole Marrissa’s – and her pillow. I wanted to be comfy.

Monday 1; Febuary, 1999
Make Out Monday. God bless TV4 Marketing.

Kate and Theresa woke me up asking for towels, which I guess was better than them asking for tshirts to sleep in before then coming back and going “Can we have some boxer shorts too please? Both Kate and I are wearing G-strings and it’s not a pretty sight”. Then I went back to sleep until like 1.30pm.

Later I discovered a message from Anji on the answerphone, so I rang her back on my cellphone so as to not run up unexpected bills later. We gossiped for about 15 minutes, her telling me crazy stories and me trying to do the same. So that was choice. She apologised for panicking me out when Karen went into hospital.

Kate rang to tell me that they’d found a flat, and that her and Theresa would be around at 8pm with more alcohol to CELEBRATE this time. I had nothing else to do, so I just bummed around all day. Then I watched lots of TV, including “Favourite Moments of 90210″. Man, that all went downhill when Brenda left. I mean, I love Valerie and all, but it’s just not the same.

Anyways, Kate and Theresa showed up like an hour and a half late with their friend Marissa, and two casks of white wine. We heated up the leftover pizza in our scarily unclean oven, and sat out on the patio, them smoking up a storm. White wine and I don’t get along too well, so I didn’t guzzle quite as fast as the rest of them.

Sunday 31; January, 1999

kate’s the only girl I know who has messier handwriting than me

(copyright jan 31st 1999 by Kate Benton)
Clayton moved in early this morning. I’ve never been inside a truck before, but I have now, after stamping up the ramp. It was really kinda bizzare. I felt like I was in a circus or something.

So yeah, Clayton’s moved in, and he’s pretty cool. Definitely more interesting to talk to than Layton although he’s got a voice which is a whole lot like Dylan’s which is kinda weird. The one thing that annoyed me though is that when I was just sitting in my room, lying down and reading, he kept coming in and talking to me. Ohhhhhh the humanity huh?

Kate and her friend Theresa came over around 1pm and we all went to Wendy’s together, and stole lots and lots of packets of sugar because we have none. I’ve previously stocked up on napkins from there too. Wendys rocks for free stuff. One day I might just take in a bottle and fill it up with tomato sauce. They were waiting to get a call back from a guy about a flat that they wanted in Ponsonby. Eventually they rang him, and were really sad that they didn’t get it. So then we decided we should get really really drunk to de-celebrate. The only problem with that idea though, is that it was a Sunday, and liquorshops and supermarkets etc aren’t allowed to sell alcohol on Sundays, because of stupid stupid laws. So that sucked to our asthma alright. We thought we could ring up all our friends and invite them to a “byo and some for us too please” party, but then we remembered that hey! We don’t actually have any friends. Well, actually we do, but none of them were available. So yeah, that sucked. Eventually, they went to go visit Theresa’s momma, promising to return somehow with stuff to drink. (Man, I felt so fourteen again!)

They came back around seven pm, so I rang up and invited Shirley over as well. We ordered pizza from Pizza Hutt, and since I was feeling rich cos Clayton had given me cash for bond and rent, I forked over the money. Half way through our thin crust half meatlovers half vegetarian, Kate decided to ring up and complain about the crust, to get a free pizza. She told them that it tasted like an Arnotts water cracker biscuit, and from her experiance working at Pizza Hutt, that is not what they should taste like. The woman begrudgingly sent over a regular size, instead of a large. Bitch. Hhahahaha we must already be on Pizza Hutt’s blacklist now. Kate and Theresa were going to flash the delivery boy, but then it was like an old man, so they didn’t.

Anyways, we’d finished the one cask of wine Theresa had been able to scab off her old work, so we decided to go to Newmarket. Well – Kate, Theresa and I did anyways. Shirley and Clayton didn’t want to come, but they said they’d clean up, so that’s more worthy. So we went to Newmarket to play pool, not entirely sure where exactly we were heading, until I spotted the PLANET POOL sign. Kate and I played on a team cos we both suck. We won the first game! I was so proud. Sure, Theresa fucked up and got three of our balls in on one shot (how she managed that, I will never know) . Anyways, we got bored of there, so we went to the Carlton instead and had lots of shakers. The shaker containers were so cool that despite the fact that we were sitting right by the bouncer, we slipped one into Theresa’s bag. The bartender there was so hideous, sticking his tongue out everywhere, and shaking his booty. I use that phrase because that’s how cheesy it was.

So yeah, eventually we went home, and sat around watching some really bad movie with Christopher Lambert in it. Theresa decided she wanted pizza, and after calling some guy at Dial A Dinos three times, he decided he’d send some out to us, even though we’re out of the delivery area. I’m starting to get the feeling that Theresa can talk herself into anything. So yeah, once the pizza arrived and I’d paid for it (again, I was the only one with cash) , we realised we weren’t actually all that hungry, especially since it had jalepenos on it. So oh well. Oh yeah, before we ordered pizza, I’d gone online to send an email from Kate, and found myself being forceably removed (Kate pushed me to the ground then sat on me, completly knocking out all my breath and doing some serious damage) so that Theresa could start messaging everyone on my contact list telling them she was me, and that I was in love with them. MMMmmm. So that was vaguely funny only i was in so much pain it wasn’t actually that cool. What was even more damaging however, is when they’d been sitting on the sofa going “UH OH UH OH UH OH” so I picked up Geri and threw her at them as hard as I could. She hit the wall with a smack, and her legs broke off. AAAAAARrrrrrg. She’s a collector’s item now, too! So yeah, if anyone wants to buy me Ginger Spice merchandise, please do so.

Oh yeah, and about the note – that was Kate trying to terrorize my poor flatmate who was probably traumatized enough by the screams and giggles.