Hubris

Wednesday, February 9th, 2000

There’s a scene in ‘Gone With the Wind’ I think it is, but it could be any old book or movie, where a mother finds out that her son has been killed in the war. She’s so in shock that all she can think to say is “but I was knitting these socks for him”. That’s kind of how I feel right now. Shell shocked.

But socks or not, a girl has to shop, and so that was what I was out doing today. I got birthday pressies for Thomas, and also for my mother. I got her a black cash box, cos she’d asked for one, and also a citronella bucket candle, because I thought she’d like it. I considered buying cds or lipstick for myself, but didn’t.

I also went to the doctor’s, even though my need for contraceptive pills has suddenly become redundant, but hey, there’s plenty more fish in the sea . It was weird, cos I was expecting like a full-on lecture kinda thing, but she didn’t ask me anything much at all. Maybe she should have, I dunno. Possibly it’s just the fact that I’m like a late bloomer or something, so I still expect to be treated like a kid when I am actually an adult. Or maybe I just wanted a chance to be congratulated on being so wise and smart and sensible before. Who knows? Moral of the story is that I now have a six month subscription for the mini version. Unfortunately, they probably won’t regulate out my periods for me, which is one of the reasons why I wanted to go on the pill, but I might get lucky and be in like the 10% who’s periods stop completely.

Was that all fascinating? I hope so. I’d planned on avoiding telling my parents I’d been to the doctor’s at all, just cos I don’t like talking to them about myself (although the novelty look of shock might have been fun for a few minutes) but then I told Mum I just went for a check up. She asked if I’d had the bill sent to our house, which I hadn’t, so she offered to pay anyways. I dunno – I mean, sure, I’d like $46 dollars, but this way I can tell her to butt out completely without a shred of remorse. Who knows? Anyways, she bought me a huge fluffy yellow towel, and a new duvet cover, and gave me some more money for other householdy stuff that I haven’t decided on (damn I’m nesting!), which is always a good thing.