Hubris

Wednesday March 22nd, 2000 – 8.27pm

Just this afternoon, it’s suddenly turned really cold, so I’m wrapped in my duvet now, as indeed I have been all evening. I dunno, it’s comforting. And warm. I like the snuggle aspect of winter, but not the colds and sickness and cold bit.

Early this morning, I was woken out of weird dreams about cyber cafes, link buses, apartment building and nutcase flatmates by the phone ringing in the hall. It’s just kinda weird hearing people being told that you’re asleep, when you’re so clearly not. Even if you are a little too lazy to get out of bed. But I did somehow drag myself out, to be informed that Olivia was coming over soon, so I hastened into the shower, despite the fact that it WAS fucking early – well, like 10.30am.

Anyways, once she’d shown up and we’d had coffee, we decided to go out for lunch, and then spent ages deliberating about where to go. Olivia convinced Thomas to come along . Eventually we settled on Ponsonby, so we drove off there, and ended up going to the Turkish Cafe. I had to admit, I don’t really like Turkish food much, apart from the odd kebab, and I would have prefered Indian, but I just wasn’t in the mood to argue.

Lunch eaten, we decided to regress Olivia back by going to the Shore. We went to the Shore City Galleria even. Fuck it was horrendous. When we were in the chemist, I decided to make an attempt at finding my red lipstick, so I let the shisedo woman put a hidieously bright shade on me. She said it looked good – she was so lying. The worst bit was that she’d put on lip pencil first, so I had like rounded cupid bow lips and it wouldn’t fucking come off. Grrr. Coming back out of the toilets, I was sorely tempted to just go home, instead of joining Thomas and Olivia in the underwear shop. But there’s cruelty, and then there’s leaving someone stranded on the Shore, so I only got as far as the carpark before going back.

Online at home, I talked to my friend Beth from Japan for a while, which was really really cool. She submitted me something for my bio page. After that, I got into bed, and couldn’t get out again.

Under the covers I felt warm, and slightly more secure. Not much, but a little. I think I’m a freak in that I’ll withdraw when I want attention. It’s my party quirk, let’s say. Later I read creepy stories to Olivia and Thomas from my bed, but then felt a sudden urge to watch Hollywood Squares so I left.

Sometimes I feel a little unbalanced, but sometimes I feel justified. I dunno. Brad came a knocking on the lounge door keyless when I was crying talking to Olivia – I bet he felt stink. I didn’t justify myself to him. Wednesday TV is boring, although no, the man sex show is on in a couple of minutes, yay! I’m currently subjecting myself to Channel Z, cos I have a craving for the new Pumpkins song, but the cunts jsut aren’t playing it.