Hey, it’s time for the six monthly Hubris update! And what better way to do it than with the annual review. 2014 is here for comparison.

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

    • Celebrated a six month anniversary. And then a YEAR ANNIVERSARY HOLY SHIT.
    • Felt like I was going to drown, when we were at Cloud 9 in Fiji and the current was too strong for me to swim back to the pontoon against, and I thought I would have a heart attack if I tried, and was worried about Karen leaving me and worried about Karen not leaving me, but I managed to keep my wits and used the fist above the head signal for “help” and they came out in a boat and dragged us back in though that was kind of a drowning experience in itself and then I cried and my body went into shock from the adrenaline later that night. Uuuugh.
    • Worked three jobs in one year (quit one job to take up an eight month contract, then did four days in new job before Xmas)
    • Got OIAed by a douchebag because I called him a misogynist on twitter so obviously the best way to prove that he wasn’t was to stalk me to my work and threaten my job.
    • Drank on a Melbourne rooftop (with Jo & Kini, obviously) in this holy shit amazing apartment we rented.
      rooftop creed
    • Got asked to be a not-bridesmaid when Jo gets not-married (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!)
    • Fourgy
    • Continued to work on verbalising my needs within a relationship
    • Worked on taking more n00ds.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I stopped playing Kardashian Hollywood and also stopped taking taxis to work (it was helpful that I moved to a job an easy nine minute stroll away, to be fair). I did have the #BESTGIRLS reunion and it was amazing, but I didn’t do great at keeping Hubris updated or dancing every week. Though I did have many particularly memorable dances though, so that was great.  

My resolutions for 2016 are written down in the Flat Bible, so I’ll have to check them once Flo gets off my back. Ah! My list, according to Jo is:

  • SKINNYDIPPING AGAIN
  • Maintain most excellent relationship
  • Pay down debt (for the record, I have a two grand overdraft and around $4500 owing on my credit card. Let’s not start on how much I owe my parents)
  • MMF ffs!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not only did Emily give birth but she also gave birth to a whole damn media empire along with Ronnie, chalking up over a million views of her first post. So proud of her.

OH! And I was messaging a friend from Uni who lives in London now to ask her if she could take Anna out for a drink and she was like “I would, but I literally gave birth today”. OMG WAY TO KEEP THAT QUIET (and congratulations)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. But I am feeling other people’s mortality quite keenly, as well as other cats’. Florence is stone-cold deaf now. Boo.

5. What countries did you visit?

I went to Melbourne for #BESTGIRLS with Kini and Jo, and then I went to Fiji with Karen and my parents. Pro tip: even if you think you could not have been clearer about how you intend to sit by the pool and read all holiday long, you probably could be clearer.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

STILL that ever-elusive MMF? Maybe? Also, it is at times quite hard being someone’s secondary relationship when they are your primary, so I would perhaps like to find someone else to date as well. Or at least fuck on the regular.

7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

November 24 cos holy shit, year anniversary! July 25 for my 16 Years of Hubris party.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Maintaining my relationship. Getting hired twice. Being a person that other people could like. Liking myself.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I still get really really upset thinking about how I had to resign as refugee support partly because my team needed a way to get through to the Red Cross about their lack of support, and partly because of some other person’s awfulness. I hope you’re super proud of yourself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing beyond the usual coughs / upset stomachs / entire body’s worth of blood pouring out of my cunt in an hour / the floor is lava type thing.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My great big bright blue hooded wool duffle coat. Essential for walking to work in. Also every cent I spent on Bae because I am a great big loved-up idiot.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Obviously my girlfriend’s, because for some reason she likes me. Her husband’s, cos this thing is far easier than it could be. ME for working on my self-loathing and getting better at articulating my needs. Bad Tom for always ensuring my glass is never empty. Everyone who ate dumplings with me. Demelza because working in the same building as her was amazing, it was great to have a shoulder to cry on at all times. The wonderful fierce feminists I know who fight the good fight.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Men. Mostly white men, but not all. Mostly right wing, but not all. The woman who suggested I should go meet up with the guy who’d stalked and threatened me, because “he was feeling bullied”. The ‘anonymous’ person who complained to the Red Cross that I was taking (my) prescription anxiety medication during an incredibly anxious situation. The police officer who used a 10 year old girl (and witness) as an interpretor. So so so so many people at the American School in Japan when I read the whole report about the sexual assaults of a former teacher there, whose house I stayed in, and how many people knew about it and covered it up. The continued rape culture in New Zealand (and the rest of the world)

14. Where did most of your money go?

Sebastian’s vet bills (regular blood tests), Flo’s dental surgery, a thousand dollar new window, two overseas holidays, a lot of food and drink. Oh and KMART

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

#BESTGIRLS, new jobs, girlfriend, the (too many) parties I threw, The Unbreakable Kimmy Gibbler. And going to KMART.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?

‘It’s going to be more Beyonce isn’t it? Because of you. And because how I’m going to blush now when I hear certain songs. And maybe ‘Elastic Heart’ by Sia because apparently that was my most-played song. And also ‘Girlfriend’ by Billie because I figured out how to set ringtones for everyone, and that’s the one I have for Jo.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

I am fatter,  happier and richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Dancing. It is the best. Especially Witches’ Coven Dance on Mondays with the amazing Boganette and Rachel. I also wish I could have swum more but ear infections made me worry.  (yes this is the exact same post as last year)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sleeping all day on weekends, feeling lonely on Sundays and being passive/aggressive when things didn’t go my way.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

As per tradition, I spent the morning with Tom and Kris and then Keith, eating an amazing breakfast, drinking a lot of bubbly and reading each other quizzes out of the book that my work gave me when I left. Then we went to Karen’s apartment for presents and dinner and fun times, and I was greatly relieved that it was not nearly as hot as it was in 2012 when we were there and it was airless.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

Toplessly FaceTiming with Jo and trying to accidentally flash her. Heh heh heh. (Again, this answer is the exact same as last year).

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?

Yes and there were literal fireworks when I declared it. <3 LITERAL FIREWORKS. Love is the best.

23. How many one-night stands?

Let me check my list. Six-ish, though one was twice-ish, and we’re still friends. That was 2015 right? (Ben V, fourgy, the ginger who had sex at me, the guy who looked like Danny Castelano and the other guy from Tinder who left me with fingerprint bruises).

24. What was your favorite TV program?

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Brooklyn Nine Nine. And the thighs of Outlander.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No but my levels of loathing for white cis straight men’s opinions has grown and grown and grown. OH LOOK, SAME ANSWER AS LAST YEAR.

26. What was the best book you read?

It was gruelling but Roxanne Gay’s An Untamed State was amazing. More importantly though, can we talk about just how fucking AMAZING The Spinoff is? Specifically anything by Alex Casey. Fuck she’s amazing. Her and Jess McAllen both make me real happy about the future of media in this country.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

28. What did you want and get?

An amazing relationship, chandeliers in my house, a  tropical holiday, #BESTGIRLS reunion, two new jobs.

29. What did you want and not get?

New tapware for my bathroom, someone who is able to shout from every single rooftop that they are in love with me, an MMF. GODDAMMIT.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I don’t watch movies, don’t be ridiculous.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 35.  For friends-celebration, a bunch of us went to dinner at Peking House and then got very very very drunk at Bad Tom’s afterwards. For Family Birthday, all EIGHT of us (Karen and I having partners for the first time included with family) we went to Hillside Kitchen. Wait, there were only seven of us cos my father was in Korea or somewhere for work.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A primary relationship.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

All the colour, always.

34. What kept you sane?

Benzos & Bae. Jo always being on the other end of Facebook or Twitter or text message or FaceTime. Tom for keeping me in booze. Demelza for letting me cry on her shoulder. Fellow feminists on Twitter. The way Florence burrows under my blankets to snuggle up to me at night. The enthusiastic greeting of Trixie Doggie. Fresh air and sunshine. Being kind to myself.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I have massive crushes on all of these people listed here by Stephanie

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Feminism as a whole, inequality in New Zealand and rape culture. SAME AS LAST YEAR.

37. Who did you miss?

Mostly I still have contact with all the people I care about, even if it’s not that frequent, so that’s pretty great.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

My flatmate-for-a-brief-time Ruby who was here doing a placement during her training. I thought she was 31 but turned out to be 21. It was lovely having a little sister, and she helped me learn what the yoofs of today are up to and we watched lots of terrible television together and it was great. I hope she moves back to Welly ASAP.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:

I’m a good person and I deserve good things.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

McLeod’s all on your mouth like liquor.