Thursday the 31st of December (entry a)

A year ago today, at this time (3.45pm) I was at the Gathering, butterflies eating me up from the inside out, because in less than two hours I was going to meet someone who would ultimately change my life. I tried so hard yesterday to finish up my Gathering story, so that it wouldn’t have taken me over a year to write it, but there’s so much to be said in it, and so many descriptions, so I didn’t manage. It was so bizzare though, because as I was reading through it all, I felt my stomach tighten in nervousness, just like it did on the actual day. But that was after all last year, and I should leave it in the past, yeah?

I’m not really looking forward to tonight all that much. It’s raining, and our plans just seem so….. vague. I don’t think Anji got me a trip, and while in theory there’s nothing wrong with drinking, it’s just so…… usual. (Old and jaded and snobby, that’s me!). Still, seeing Jo again will probably hype me up, if she’s not moping too much about not being at the Gathering with her boy. Usually if I have low expectations, things are great, so tonight should be okay. Fingers crossed. But I did have a rather disturbing dream about it this morning.

I went to a party at Anji’s flat, which of course, being a dream, looked totally different. At first it was really really great, lots of fun people, and pink and yellow creamy cocktails. I even saw the band Garbage floating around and mingling. I knew Jo and her friends Lance and Mischa were supposed to be along soon. Then I spotted Megan Macillwain (sp) and Katie Sullivan – girls from middle school at ASIJ. Megan was the class slut, who was compeltly two faced, and Katie was my mortal enemy in seventh grade – although I got to like her better later on. Annnnyways, I went up to them, and slapped Megan really hard, going “you used to be so cruel to me”. She was like “You’re absolutely right”. I was in complete shock, so I said “really?” and she just laughed at me. Bitch. Then Katie pointed out something behind me, so as I turned around to see it, she slapped ME really hard – I could feel it in my dream, and the two of them went off laughing. I was really upset, because I thought that if I ever saw ASIJ people again I’d just laugh, because I’m so different now, but apparently not. I wandered around aimlessly for ages, really really sad, and for some reason changed into my pajamas. I really really wanted Jo to be there, but she wasn’t, so I went to call her only I didn’t have her number. Karen gave me phone books, which I’d search through for hours, before realising they were the classified ads from the newspaper. Eventually I went out in the rain and managed to find Jo, but by the time we made it back to the party, it was all over, and only Aaron (of enormas penis fame) was left behind, cleaning up.

So is that a scary omen or what?

Anyways, this is only Entry A. There’ll be a B tommorrow. So Y’all come back now, y’hear?

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