Getting Some Action

Friday 19; February, 1999

Joanna: yeah I know I’m a dirty old man – here I am, friday night and I’m at home chasing porn on the computer

Heather: Yeah, attempting cyber sex with a minor, tsk tsk. 🙂

Joanna: hahahahaah – so, what are you wearing?

Heather: Well, despite the fact that it’s 0 degrees celsius outside, and that we have a bad vent system in the house, nothing but a red garter belt and a smile, my usual internet surfing getup. 😉
And you? Boxers or briefs?

Joanna: I’m wearing an old dirty raincoat

Heather: Yeah, um, did I mention that I’m 12? Want my address?
Phone number? Last name? MAybe you could visit here and I could meet you in your scuzzy hotel room? We could watch cable and eat McDonald’s. 🙂

And that’s all the action that’s happening in my life right now. Like I said, it’s Friday night, and I’m at home, alone until Clayton and Leyton finish their respective work – which won’t make it more ragey. Want to know how trajic my life is? Okay, I’ll scan in my horoscope from She & More: MY GOD! IT ACTUALLY CAME TRUE!

I have to wait until FUCKING APRIL for him? JESUS WEPT MAN! Think he’s worth it?

So yeah, anyways, I have exciting news. I’m now servicing ‘units’ at a motel around the corner, at an hourly rate. Oooooh baby, I’m so fully shagged now. Fucking exhausting work. Seriously though, have you ever made 7 king sized beds in a row? The other cleaner, Paula confused the fuck out of me for ages going “and lux this room and then that one” – apparently, luxing is like the Greymouth word for vacuuming. Go figure. I have to remember to check under the beds for used condoms. Loverly. But the motel itself is brand spanking new, it’s one minute’s walk from my house, and I get $10 an hour. The downside is that it’s completly exhausting (oi – try doing it yourself before questioning that) and I’m now On-Call Friday Saturday and Sunday mornings. Bonus. Guess who might be leaving her phone off the hook after hard nights out? I guess I should email my parents and tell them. They’d be so proud!

I think that’s everything. But MAN! How depressing is that horroscope? Just when I’d decided that I need to find someone to sleep with because damned if I ever wanna make my own bed from now on!!!

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