Wednesday 28; April, 1999
I can’t write my 2500 word essay, but I did manage to write Kini a 1814 word email while in the computer lab at tech today. Here’s SOME of it for you to peruse cos I haven’t got time to write an entry. It’s 11.40pm. I still need 1200 words.
>From: “joanna tiare mcleod”
>Organization: Auckland Institute of Technology
>Date: Wed, 28 Apr 1999 11:34:27 +1200
>Subject: I love you too
>However, I HATE mr theodore adorno and if he hadn’t died ten
>years before I was born, I’d hunt him down now and kill him until he
>Do you have a girlfriend? You’re looking real cool.
>Fuck I am SO babbling. Make me go and do my essay, mummy.
>Please make me.
>Or don’t then. I just ate a “Time Out” chocolate bar, and it was
>yummy. Do you have that ad for them in Australia that features a
>plastic lion running wild in his dreams? I so LOVE that ad. The
>lion is so cute it breaks my heart every time. I just sit there with
>this huge big grin.
>And i got all mopey at Shortland Street last night cos David and
>Ellen who are like my favourite characters were talking on the
>phone and they wanted to be together but he had to work……..so I
>was all awwwwwww
>Seventy three minutes to go. Have I really spent quarter of an hour
>writing this to you?
>I’m in the computer lab working next to Shirley, so she heard my
>fingers flying all over the keyboard, and thought i was working hard.
> Until she looked up to see that this is Peagus Mail I’m running, not
>I’ll tell you what though – I already have 196 words done in my
>essay. So that’s only 2304 words left to go. I’d be pretty proud of
>me too, if I was you. I guess you probably shouldn’t expect to see
>me online tonight. However, you do have this mumma huge mother
>of an email to satisfy your cravings for me.
>Oooh shirley just came back with a Time Out bar too. Advertising
>works, I tell you.
>Hahahahah her essay sheet with questions on it has a note from
>ages ago scrawled along the side and back of it. It’s, suprise surpise,
>66 minutes to go. Wow, where’s the time going? I’m going to tab
>over to my essay now.
>I lasted three minutes working on my essay. But i have my basic
>plan now. I told Shirley that I’d start writing on it at 8 and have it
>finished by 10. Of course, the one annoying thing is that it’s Ally
>Macbeal night, and while i don’t really watch that unless I have
>nothing else to do, simon will. I wish sometimes that my computer
>was in my room. This is why it’d be good to have a laptop. Clayt’s
>puter is in his room, but he’ll be churning away on his essay too,
>so I won’t be able to use that.
>One minute to eleven. I’m meeting thomas at 12, so I’ll have to be
>outta here by 11.45. I’ll keep writing this email until then, and
>working on my essay occasionally.
>I just typed “I look really fat today” but then I deleted that. And
>now i’ve typed it again, but only as a quote. I’m not insecure.
>Really I’m not. I’m just waiting for someone to leap out and say
>”smile, you’re on candid camera”.
>I’ll quote tori at you now
>”So then Love walked up to Like, and said ‘I know you don’t like me
>much, let’s go for a ride’ ”
>I just love that line.
>My essay now stands at 246 words. That’s ten percent, Kini. And
>I’ve only been here in the computer lab for an hour. Yay, at this
>rate, I’ll start my essay at 8pm and be done by 6am. Terrific!
>I haven’t played a game of freecell yet, so I guess that’s a good
>thing. Then again, this email is far more absorbing than any stupid
>old card game. . Shirley’s looking at her watch.
>Some people just don’t get the clock-on-computer thing, do they?
>Personally, i don’t wear a watch. Whenever people ask me why
>they don’t, I quote Jessica Wakefield, off Sweet Valley High; “I
>don’t wear a watch because nothing starts until I’m there”. Did
>you ever see the series of it? I’m sure she had bigger breasts than
>Elizabeth. Maybe it was just her clothes. But no, actually. I think I
>asked Shirley once, because she has an identical twin called
>Evelyn (who is far more trendy, although shirley gets trendier by
>the day) and she said that Evelyn had slightly bigger breasts.
>Hmmm I don’t remember exactly what she said. I’m intrigued now.
>I’d ask her but she’s listening to her walkman and working hard. I
>doubt she’d appreciate me interupting her to enquire about her
>That’s a fun word, isn’t it? 11.10. Fifty minutes to go. 35 until I
>oooh I know what I can tell you about. Last night, I got off the
>computer at around 11.10pm (exactly 12 hours ago) because Si
>wanted to use it, so I figured I may as well go to bed. I was just
>lying on my bed ten minutes later in my pjs, when he knocked on
>the door, going “are you decent?” So I was like “no, I’m not
>decent, but I do have clothes on”. He’d been talking to Kate online,
>and she’d told him to come over, so of course, because he drools
>over her, he said yes. He also wanted the last of my very primo
>pot . So yeah, I decided okay, i could stomach going to Kate’s,
>even though I’d been intending to get an early night, so i put on my
>silk dressing gown, grabbed my last joint, and we went over. We
>caught her half nekkid, cos she wasn’t really expecting us to come
>over. Her and I got the worst fits of giggles last night. We had
>great conversations like Me:”how can you still have an easter egg
>left?” Kate: “Because I haven’t eaten it yet”. I swear to god, it was
>the funniest thing i’ve ever heard.
>YAY only 40 minutes to go. 25 until I leave here. Shirley’s essay
>is up to 1700 words, but she read it out as “2700” so I got all
>excited for nothing.
>I just spent a fair few minutes scrolling through this whole email
>and chuckling to myself lots because, dammit, I’m hilarious. And
>I’ve just added Shirley as a recipricant cos she keeps reading over
>my shoulder. I guess it makes her paranoid seeing her name pop
>up all the time. Maybe I’m obsessed with her. Maybe i’m stalking
>her. Hi Shirley. Hope you’re enjoying this scary letter.
>My friend Kini, that I’m writing to, is a psycho too. That’s why I love
>her lots and lots. Oooooooh! it’s 11.30! YAAAAAAAY! Only half
>an hour more to go. I am so excited. I can’t wait to get out of this
>lab. Hang on, I’ll go print out what i’ve written so far. (11.31)
>I guess I won’t be going any further with my essay now. But that’s
>okay, cos well, because it just is. I’ll just re-email what I’ve got to
>Okay. Ummmm what now? No more work on essay. I think I will
>send this email now.
>Love you long time, honey.
>See you round like something round.
>firstname.lastname@example.org | http://www.vision.net.nz/joanna