signing my soul over

Thursday 13; May, 1999

email ` gbook ` i-seek-you ` handwriting

“You don’t show much these days – you get so fucking cold.

I loved your secret places, but I can’t go anymore”

tori (natch)

It went strangely well with Tekken. You’d think something faster and more brutal would be more appropriate, but actually, no!
If I don’t get a sleep in soon, I think I’m going to die. I just about did today.

I’d taken my contact lenses out especially early last night so that they could have a decent soak. I went to bed fairly earlyish cos I was developing a sore throat and all. Of course, I didn’t count on the fact that my mind wouldn’t stop thinking, so I couldn’t get any sleep.

Even having a shower in the morning seemed like a major chore. I put my contact lenses in, expecting everything to be fine, and stuff, and then felt that familiar closing up feeling. I stumbled to the bus behind Clayt, because as well as being blind, my knee is packing in. Got on the bus, and he decided to sit with me, which meant that my legs got squashed into the seat in front of me. The heater on the bus kicked in, and that along with the blackouts and dizziness in my eyes made me excrutiatingly nauseous. I stumbled into TV Production, tears streaming down my face, and had to run out in the middle of a showing of “the magic box” (kids tv show).

So yeah, 9.30am found me on my knees in the handicapped stall of the 14 floor of the State Insurance Building, dry retching my guts out. I just felt like curling up into a ball and crying my eyes out, it was so awful. However, there’s only so much white porcelain a girl can stare at, so I went back to class to sit crumpled at my desk again.

I had to stay at tech because we were supposed to be editing at 12pm. So I went into the whanau room and curled up on a sofa there, somehow managing to sleep nearly two hours despite the guitar players and the chatter. That made me feel a little bit better. Being plunged into the dark of an edit suite with Nigel ignoring every suggestion I made did nothing to help, however. At least the good news is that we’re all going to get the same mark, rather than individual ones. Sure, Nigel may have done most of the work, but that’s not by Peter, Sacha or my choice. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

We’re going to be in the television studio suite for TWELVE hours tommorrow. I think I will go absofuckinglutely stir crazy. Please everyone page me on my cellphone. Your messages will bring a little joy into my life.

Si and I were lazy and ordered pizza tonight, and it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten. Well, maybe not the BEST, but it was damn tasty. Mmmmm.

How sad is it that a pizza was the highlight of my day? At least I’m not like Kate, rining me up to ask me to bring her over some rabbit ears so that she can watch television from her bed!

I updated my links page finally.

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