May 20, 2002

You know what? I want the whole fucking world to go to hell today. That’s right, the WHOLE world. Even Maree who rang me up all excited and happy for me. Well, okay, maybe not her. And I guess not kittens, or the starving children in Africa, and anyone who owns a bearsuit. But apart from them, yeah. Because if the collective you don’t have time for me, why should i have time for the collective you?

Grrrrr. Grrrrrrr! And yes, I have babysat three year olds who occasionally had grumpy days and they behaved exactly like I’m behaving, and the solution then (and probably the proper solution now) was to just send them to their rooms for time out. But even when I’m taking time out I still spilt a cup of boiling tea all over me that made me squeal and then hyperventilate, ala stress attack which I stopped having a year ago until they came back last friday. And ooooooooooh I’m in a mood of fury tonight, plus the klez virus has come back and my seminar is in two days and while I was making good inroads on it, there’s just so much information and I can’t decide whether or not I need to include the elaboration likelihood method and if I should make up individual case studies based on survey results and I’m panicking in case I don’t get the ads video tomorrow and I would really really really like to tell Clayton to get fucked, I do plenty around the house and he needs to take his fucking cork out and I want to tell everyone to fuck up and fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK GHJkflsh gkjrt4oie hjk,gh dfkjgt4eiout; y5orjgklh dxfgh dcfs.g

Yeah hi, I’ve studied communications for three and a half years now, and I think that’s well evident in my verbaciousness. And my very mature attitude of dealing with everything. Right now I’m feeling like I just wanna scream and scream and scream and also punching someone would be good, but I don’t think I’m physically capable. It’s kinda like RSIs inhibiting your crying abilities. FUCK.

Oh yeah, I got a job today, you know the one. Cool and shit. I’m excited about it but I’m just so angry today that it gets swept under the carpet.

And if you’re reading this in your workplaces tomorrow, you’ll go “oh shit” and you’ll probably reach for the phone to call me up, and then I’ll be forced to explain to you all seperately that no, it’s not about you, it’s just about everyone, and really, I can’t be fucked doing that, so just don’t okay? And if I sound like i’m contradicting what I was saying earlier, then fine, I always contradict myself and if you know me then you know that. I just need that timeout, I guess, ala the three year old throwing a tantrum. And hopefully no one will take this personally, but right now because I am feeling like I need to be selfish and wallow, quite frankly, if you’re taking it personally then you too can get fucked.

Grrr.

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