Bringing Out The Twins

Karen rang me on Friday and said “You know what I’ve been thinking about all week?” and I said “Chummeez?” and she said “yes” and so we made plans to have dinner there. I think we did really badly with our ordering. Some words of advice? Unless you like things that are squishy, avoid the stirfried tofu and vegetables dish. The tofu is icky squishy wobbly like it shouldn’t be, and the dish has the most revoltingly textured mushrooms in the entire whole wide universe in it. They’re like jellyfish with cellulite and a bad case of ebola. Blaaaaaaaaaargh. And the kung pao chicken was very average and the sizzling fish with Singapore sauce was very cornfloury. It might have been an off night for the kitchen, cos the waitstaff were still very friendly and lovely and all, so I will continue to recommend the place – if you don’t order the above dishes. Cool.

I took the bus into town with her, after I’d finished faffing over what I was going to wear and had brought the twins out (that’s Mary-Kate and Ashley to you, sir – and believe me, Mary-Kate seems to have been totally cannibalising Ashley). She told me that what was actually Pirie St was Elizabeth St, so I got all confused except for the fact that I’m not that dumb, but it is damn hard to read street signs in the dark without your glasses, so I was worried about getting lost, but I found my way there in the end – passing by the flat that I’d wanted to move into, and also those people on the street, but I didn’t greet them in case they thought I was stalking them… which uhh of course I wasn’t.

Eventually I got to Katy’s, and sat down and had a bottle of wine with her and Puck. Kristen and Kartini were already at Mike’s party, but we were in no hurry. At least, I thought we weren’t, until Puck started a series of toasts which very quickly finished our glasses, which was of course his clever plan all along. Genius! I’m going to try that one some time. So yeah, it was off to Mike’s place for the party then. He apologised to me for being rude at Karen’s house, and I was like, well, apparently she slapped you, so you obviously deserved it, so let’s call it even. I may have downplayed the fact that I don’t even remember him being at Karen’s, since I was throwing up in the shower at the time, but that’s beside the point.

The party was fun! I got to talk to Lisa about high school (she was two years behind me, but voted for me in the student rep elections cos I put an L7 line on one of my campaign posters – “wake up and smell the coffee, or just say no to individuality”, so she rocks) and she was like “you’re so cool, I should
totally hang out with you more often!” so I was like awwww. Kristen was waxing lyrical about Interpol so much that I feel the need to buy their album even though I’ve only heard it in the background. We also talked about knee-melting lines from songs like “I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life…” and “you’re my forever” and so forth. I had a big argument with someone about the magazine that I work for, because he is paranoid and thinks we’re out to get him (as opposed to actually just reporting the facts). He did no good for his own character. I wonder if he knows that he makes himself into a caricature? Nevermind. Another guy was openly starring at my Mary-Kate&Ashleys all night, and after muttering something about being afraid i was going to have a wardrobe malfunction said that yes, they really are very nice breasts. That was kinda hott – I think being that open is somehow much less sleazy than being ‘discreetly’ sleazy. Plus, he reminded me of Justin, so it was pretty amusing. Brad showed up unexpectedly cos I’d texted him the address, feeling very much like a North Shore person whilst doing so, since he was walking home and was actually in the neighbourhood at the time, so it was, as usual, lovely to see him. Polls were done on whether or people would rather go out with a ninja or a pirate, and as hypothesized, girls said pirates and boys said ninjas, with the exception of the caricature boy, who declared he’d rather be with a pirate “because they have ‘p’”, and then when I asked if he was worried about scurvy he said that he’d get all his greens from his pipe. And he thinks it’s the magazine that makes him look ridiculous? Righto.

Anyways, eventually around 3.30 or 4 or something, we decided we’d head on down to Sandwiches cos Ayna was supposed to be djing. Katy said that she wished she was a lesbian but she was put off by the thought of girls tasting like fish. I pointed out that if she’d ever kissed a guy after he’d gone down on her then she’d know that wasn’t true, and she concurred and we honked each other’s boobs. I was very tired at that stage, so shortly after we got to Sandwiches I decided to call it a night, knowing that I was supposed to be meeting Matthew Holloway for coffee at midday the next day, or in eight hours time, or however you choose to view time, and that i would also have to go and see my parents in the afternoon to pick up the rest of my crap, and I didn’t particularly want to be completely dead when I did that. As it happens when I woke up at 11am (after having got up at six am still staggerly drunk to feed Sebastian) I was far too ill to think about getting up, so I had to postpone coffee, but I was doing okay by the time Mum and Neil came to pick me up at two.

The pickup of my stuff was remarkably easy and drama-free. Carrying the boxes and all the drawers up the steep staircase in my flat wasn’t so easy, but hey, that’s life. They also told me that KateB was in town, so I texted her and she came around to watch DVDs, which meant that I missed going to see The Brunettes, but them’s the breaks.

Sunday I spent sitting in the sun devouring The House of Leaves which was fine, until I continued reading it when it got dark and my skin was crawling in terror and I was debating never leaving my bedroom again incase the hole in the roof of the bathroom swallowed me. I still haven’t finished it cos I’m waiting til I can read it in the daylight again. Scary scary book. It’s currently stuffed in my sock drawer, but it still makes all the doors in my house more creaky and it still keeps me awake.

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