Or you could just hold them up for me

Dear Bra Makers of the world,

I am not ashamed of my breasts. Why the hell are you? Bras in my size with “minimizer” tags indeed. Why the fuck would i want to minimise them? I want to show them off! You can assist me with this by designing bras that
a) acknowledge that just because I’m big around the back does not mean that I need a cup size larger than my head
b) are made out of smooth material because hey, I like to wear fitted clothes and I don’t want that lumpy seamy lace look
c) and while we’re at it, how about a balconette bra that’s not a 10A? I’d like to be able to wear wide necked low cut things so I’d like straps that are wide-set. I’d like to be able to see my breasts all heaving like an 18th Century countess over the top of a half cup. Don’t try to fence me in, man.
d) in bright colours rather than “flesh” tones. Call that flesh? Of what – a corpse that’s been floating in sewage for six months?

Cheers. As you may be able to tell, I went shopping today, and broke one of my New Year’s resolutions for a black skirt from Zebrano, but it’s embroidered all over in white, and it has a white skirt underneath, and it was about $200 off cos it was on sale, and the woman knocked it down from $168 to $150 for me cos I said it was more than I’d intended to spend – which is true. Then once I finally managed to find it in Petone, I bought a Victorian blouse at The Carpenter’s Daughter which was $85 down from $145. It’s white with black pin stripes, and hooks all the way down the front, and black trim across the bodice and around the neckline. It goes perfectly with the skirt and will be what I am going to wear for my hot date on Friday. It’d be perfect if I had a heaving balconette bra – my Lindasy Lohan bra is too showy around the sides. Bah. I also got a pretty chocolate coloured sleeveless top with satin inserts for $20. Hooray! I went to the Dutch Shop for some cumin gouda and chocolate hail, and the women in there said that they knew Oma when I described her as being this tall {} and owl-like. Then I went to Kmart Plaza in Porirua for the underwear search (the balconette bra I did manage to find was pale pink mesh with green embroidery that showed through my shirt and made me look ridiculously grossly veined, and it was a size too small anyways). I also bought a beach bag for the Fiji preperation, and a green bandana cos I couldn’t find a hat. Right now I’m wearing the bandana and it goes really well with the mint green bedsheet that i’m wrapped in. Add in my naughty librarian glasses and it’s quite an outfit.

Holy fuck, I just realised that this entry makes me sound like the blog I hate most out of the whole NZ blog circuit. Whoops. Nevermind.

Also, have I mentioned lately how much I hate being referred to as a blogger? I’m a MOTHERFUCKING JOURNALIST. Oh yeah. Fuck that blogging shit.


PS: speaking of journalism, the new Pulp should be in stores now and you should go and buy yourselves a couple of copies. I have a big feature on Velvet Revolver and a profile of The Polyphonic Spree in there.

PPS: my profile didn’t mention what a grumpy man Tim DeLaughter was on the phone.

PPPS: Anyone seen Q with the “Best of 2004” cd yet? Cos I crave it bad.

PPPPS: please update your profiles with your website addresses if you have them. Also, please like, become a Hubrette if you’re not already. Rock.

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