2019 in review

my best nine from instagram

So 2020 is some kind of bullshit right? Remember how we thought 2016 was rubbish? Oh us sweet summer children. Anyway. Before I start a series of posts about lockdown, or, as may be familiar to many of us, hey now the whole world has depression, let’s cast our mind back to 2019 before those memories are lost in the mist. I didn’t do one of these for 2018 and I’m bummed about that, so I don’t want to lose another year.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?

  • Continued to run my own business
  • Was invited to speak at an international conference (but couldn’t go because gallbladder)
  • Had an organ removed
  • Had 47 orgasms in one weekend
  • Squirted
  • Was in a serious-to-me relationship with two people as their unicorn

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I think the resolutions I made for 2019 were about House of Boom, and making sure I put out four seasons of it. I’m yet to release season four, but it’s getting there.

The resolutions I made for 2020? Ahahahah.

  1. Go on a date with (male lover)
  2. Buy a new bed & couch
  3. Pay my mother back at least 3k for House of Boom
  4. Get a new job
  5. Organise a Camp Boom

Obviously I am no longer with D, so sadly there will be no date. I pivoted that to ‘Meet Mittens’ instead but Mittens is also on lockdown. I bought the bed & couch before 2019 ended actually, I have got a new job, but 3 & 5 are very much on hold because of Covid-19.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Demelza did! And I was so so so so overjoyed for her.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My beautiful wee Florence. The magnolia tree we planted for her has new growth on it and sometimes I go and talk to it when I’m missing her.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just Tasmania and Brisbane to see Jo. I couldn’t make it to the conference I was supposed to speak at because I was post surgery and utterly exhausted. I also went to Nelson and Palmerston North and Otaki for a couple of nights, that’s pretty exotic right?

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?

If I was answering this like it was December 30, I’d say facebook status and a positive bank balance for Boom.

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

October 16. I threw a ‘Fuck Depression’ party, and some of the guests very literally did exactly that and fucked the depression right outta me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Keeping Boom going throughout a lot of personal stresses.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Am I answering this as if it was December 30? Or do I talk about how I fucked up everything when drunk and scared on December 31? Because that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

A lot of pain from gallstones, then the surgery. Also some very sore knees from shenanigans that were totally worth it.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Everything I bought for Boom that I got to buy from other small businesses.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Sara for all the support she gave to me in Boom. Anji & Bambi and my Boomettes for all the photoshoots. Various workmates who made the best of very hard times and gave me many hugs when I needed them. R&D for the magical times.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Management.

14. Where did most of your money go?

House of Boom

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Unicorning

16. What song will always remind you of 2019?

The National – ‘I need my girl’

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

If I was writing this on Dec 30? I am fatter, happier and poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Dancing and fucking. And swimming in the ocean, as per usual.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Dealing with upper management’s bullshit, stressing out about Boom.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I had Xmas with the lovers early. Then on the day I went to my cousin’s for a drink, then my family and I gathered at BAMJI’s and sat in the garden a lot.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

Jo, then a lot of time messaging the lovers at the end of the year

22. Did you fall in love in 2019?

Yes but I never got to say it.

23. How many one-night stands?

One.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Hmmm – the same as 2017’s answers – The Good Fight, Brooklyn Nine Nine (OH MY HEART!), Bob’s Burgers. I also discovered the soothing powers of bland cop shows liek The Rookie and 9-1-1.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yup. Ruined a whole agency’s comms team.

26. What was the best book you read?

Oh this one’s hard to remember. I read a lot of books at the start of 2020 so I can’t remember what was when.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don’t remember.

28. What did you want and get?

To see Jo, a relationship.

29. What did you want and not get?

A great new job, Facebook status, making money from House of Boom.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I don’t watch movies, don’t be ridiculous.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 39.  I organised a big dinner at Dragons, then we went to Karaoke and it was ridiculous amounts of fun. My family and I had the suckling pig at Lulu and it was less fun cos it was cold and I was stressed out that they wouldn’t bring us wine quick enough.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being able to keep the job I loved without that dude coming in and fucking it all up.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?

Representing my brand, yo.

34. What kept you sane?

Jo, angry drinks with workmates (did that keep me sane or did that contribute to my mental health badness? I think we know the answer to that now), and the glorious relationship that started when I needed it most.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Maybe Anika Moa?

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Feminism as a whole, inequality in New Zealand and rape culture. SAME AS EVERY YEAR.

37. Who did you miss?

Jo, not seeing her for like nine months was absolutely fucking pants.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

R&D.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019:

Trust your instincts.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

“1 + 1 + 1; it ain’t two”

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