“maybe we’re bliss of another kind”

Friday September 3rd 1999

I’m really really disturbed right about now, because Clayton came home really drunk and told me off for spading last night. Actually no, the first thing he said to me when he walked in was “you didn’t get with Him again, did you?” And I was like “what the fuck – again? I have never got with Him”. And then Clayt proceeded to relate dialogue that turned my stomach. Ick tequila. I made him hide the leftover bottle far far away. I think there are definatly some things that are best not remembered. But fuck I want to know if indeed I did send out abusive messages. I’m sure I wasn’t particularly eloquent with them.

Kate came over halfway through Shortland Street tonight for dinner, so I pointed her in the direction of leftover pasta, and made myself peanut butter toast. Fuck I’m such the chef! Then we watched Dawson’s Creek together, and shoot me if I didn’t get misty when him and Jen nearly kissed again. No wait, shoot me for getting misty at that. Yes.

Momma rang to bitch about stuff, but I pretended like we had to go urgently cos I couldn’t be bothered talking to her. Oh yeah and Shirley & Trudie rang tag-team styles in ad breaks, wanting me to go out to the Blue Room with them, but I already had my date. Kate said something scrumptious like she felt daggy in comparison cos I put on makeup, so that made me feel choice, cos she was looking gorgeous as usual. So yeah, we went to the Rialto to see ‘Go’.

And it was fucking great. mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm the drug dealer.

Amy goes to me tonight “you’re drinking a lot lately, aren’t you?” but I disagree. I need to buy more pot though, cos alcohol really really is bad shit. Young Jacinta appointed me her “dodgier-than-me role mode cousin type person ” so I feel special. Even if she did need to be prodded into it.

Simon’s driving to Wellington tonight. Hope he’s not falling asleep at the wheel. Two days until I go to Aussie. Yay yay yay. Lately I’ve been turning up Garageland ‘Not Empty’ and singing it at the top of my lungs. It feels good and I think that’s good. “I wanna be free, not empty.”

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