Hubris

Saturday; October 30, 1999

Our party is tonight. I have made five flavours of vodka jellies. I will also be making faerie bread, because Brad, Clayt and Simon are all going as faeries. My wardrobe, especially my slips, will be pillaged. I’m looking forward to it already.

Last night after the AUSA film festival (Nigel didn’t win) and the late show at the Classic where Brendan Lovegrove zoomed in on me because I was one girl with five guys, and decided that I was with Nigel, because he had the best bone structure, Clayt, Si Brad and I drove down Queen Street, being boy racers without a stereo. So we sang loudly instead.

Here’s a list I wrote a couple of days ago. I’ve been busy sorting out my priorites and stuff, and I guess all the loose ends are tied up now . So, without anymore further ado:

So I’ve been thinking a lot today and yesterday, about what I want, and I think I know. I want a boyfriend. Okay, so that sounds really 15 Girlfriendy, but it’s the truth. I want a companion that’s more than a friend. But I don’t want just anyone. I want someone who fits the criteria. Not the criteria that I already subconciously have. Forget scrawny, bi, Issues boys. I’ve had enough of them to last a dozen lifetimes. Obviously I’m really good at sticking to a criteria, so all I need to do now is just re-adjust my mindset, so that I pick boys differently. This is what I want:

1. Someone clean, free from any past baggage.

2. Someone who loves the same things that I do – cheesy pop music and non cheesy non pop as well.

3. Someone to dance with, that I’d look good with.

4. Someone who’s not afraid of showing affection in public.

5. Someone who’ll be really affectionate

6. Someone who’s life is somewhat similar to mine – possibly a student as well.

7. A car would be a bonus

8. Someone spontaneous, who’d come round to see me at all hours

9. Someone who’d buy me flowers

10. Someone who’d want all their friends to meet me

11. Someone who’d be happy most of the time, no major angst. I don’t care if that’s what I’m attracted to, I’m changing that.

12. Someone with individual style

13. Someone to spend a lot of time with, and not ever get bored of

14. Someone that I could have comfortable silences with, as well as really long cool conversations

15. Not someone all jaded and bitter

16. Someone with a flat full of nice people

17. Someone who’s not on the Internet, so that I could have the chance to write about him without fear of reprisal

18. Someone who tells me that I’ve made their life better by being with them

19. Someone who tells me I’m beautiful

20. Someone who understands that I get moodswings one week before my period, who brings me chocolate and hot water bottles and just holds me.

21. Someone who can cook as well as I can

22. Someone exciting, who’ll take me on crazy road trips

23. Someone who wants to meet my parents and be that committed

24. Someone who can make me laugh, all the time

25. Someone that I can make laugh

26. Someone to hold, all the time

27. Someone who knows what they’re doing in bed

28. Someone that my friends like

29. Someone that my friends have good reason to like because they make me happy.

30. Someone with hopes and dreams for the future

31. Someone that would go to extremes to make me smile

32. Someone to have lengthy, disgustingly mushy phone conversations with

33. Someone I can take for granted, knowing they’ll always be there

34. Someone that’d bring out the best in me

35. Someone who wants to know everything about me

36. Someone I want to know everything about

37. Someone who likes to play with my hair

38. Someone who’d give me neck rubs

39. Someone who could make me come

40. Someone who’d associate certain songs with me, and get all misty when they heard them

41. Someone who wants to take photos of me

42. Someone that turns me on just to look at or touch.

43. Someone that I can have proper make-up sessions with after we fight.

44. Someone to change lightbulbs and kill spiders and mow lawns

45. Someone to go home from parties with, and start snogging in the back of the taxi

46. Someone who’ll give me security

47. Someone that I could make cry, because of the intensity of our feelings for each other

48. Someone who breathes at the same speed as I do, so that we could be perfectly in sync.

49. I want to be the couple that everyone else envies

50. Someone who understands when I want to just hang out with my friends, but still has the tiniest sad look

51. Someone to travel with

52. Someone to stay in seedy motels with and giggle

53. Someone to go on picnics with, and have strangers compliment us on how happy we look

54. Someone that’d make me smile or giggle like a schoolgirl when I thought about them or my friends teased me

55. Someone that’d hang out with my flatmates and bond, man to man

56. Someone about an inch or two taller than me

57. Someone about a year or two older than me

58. Someone smart

59. Someone who buys me presents for no other reason than they want to

60. Someone who understood the internet thing, but that I communicated primarily with in the real world

61. Someone to have that first kiss with again

62. Someone who misses me when I’m studying or doing essays

63. Someone to show Wellington to

64. Someone to go out to dinner with, and critique the service

65. Someone who knows to consult my friends when we’re having problems

66. Someone who realises that I get turned on in the oddest places, and would act accordingly if we were in lifts or parks or empty offices

67. Someone who realises that music turns me on too

68. Basically, someone who knew what turned me on, because they’d asked me and we’d discussed it

69. heh.

70. Someone who knew about stuff and wouldn’t need to be told when I was scared and needed him to hold me

71. Someone that I could go ambush at work or wherever that’d always be glad to see me.

72. Someone that hugs me tight, like they never want to let go

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