Restless

This evening I was feeling really restless and bored and lonely so I got in my car and went for a drive. I wasn’t sure where I was going – no one I know is awake at midnight generally, so I got on the Northern Motorway. bFM was playing drum’n bass which is easy to drive mindlessly to, so I forced myself to turn it over so that I wouldn’t end up in Whangarei. Instead, I got off the motorway in Albany and circled around and back. I like to drive at night. I think I might have gone longer only it was starting to hurt my wrists.

I have a lot on my mind lately and it’s all creeping into my sleep patterns, that and the fact that I’m on the bleed, so I’m having fucked up and horrible dreams and nightmares as per usual. I would like very much to not have nightmares. I would also like very much for this feeling of restlessness to go.

Today I caught up with an old friend from Onslow as well as Penny, so that was excellent. I hadn’t seen my friend since 1997, so she had a lot to tell me, when I wasn’t talking, that is. It’s funny how some people change a lot and how others stay exactly the same.

Right now I feel so bitter I could be part of a tequila shot. PJ Harvey is singing ‘Happy and Bleeding’ and I fear that the bass is seeping through the thick concrete floor into the flat beneath me, but they’ve never complained so I won’t worry yet. Next Sunday night is Ben’s 21st and that could be noisy and strange. I have a big weekend planned for then. Also on Tuesday, I am kitten sitting! Yay!

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