gotta dance

After the long drive from the North Shore, cramming a case bigger than her into the boot of my car, and an unexpectedly long stop at her grandmother’s for lunch, we agree that I should just drop her off outside the terminal, because her family were following us and she hates long goodbyes. I’m wearing my sunglasses although it’s a little grey because I don’t trust myself, but she still realises that I’m crying, so she sends me away with a big long hug. As she’s walking into the airport I realise that there’s a million more things that I want to say to her, starting with “thank you so much for everything” but I don’t, and now she’s gone.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy for Shirley. I mean, this is what she’s been looking forward to for half her life. She escaped Waihi and now she’s escaped New Zealand, and she’s going to have a fabulous wonderful time, but it’s just odd when someone’s been your best friend for four years, and you talk to her at least every other day pretty much, and then she’s gone off to England and the great beyond. Still, I guess that’s what the wonders of email is for.

So yeah, I had a pretty fucking shitty day after that, crawling into bed as soon as I got home for a private cry, and some more nightmares (excellent!). SarahF rang me in the evening and asked me to email her some work for our group project that’s due on Wednesday that we really haven’t even started to co ordinate that, and I couldn’t find my notes or assignment sheet or anything so I started getting really really shitty and wanted to throw things around but I restrained myself. Grrrr. Bad day. Mazzy Star called me though to make sure I was doing okay, and KateH txted me (and people have the nerve to say that my friends are overprotective – that’s bollocks) and I will see KateM tomorrow cos I’m doing reception work for her in the afternoon. Plus, and this is excitign and cool, KateB is coming up in a week and a bit to move out of her old flat, which is sad, but the good bit is that she’ll be staying her so I’ll get to see her and that’s good. Yeah.

It’s only just after midnight now, but maybe I’ll be able to sleep if I try. I can’t get my computer to play cds – mp3s yes, but .cdas, no. Well, it plays them but no sound comes out. I think i might need to reinstall soundcard software. I’m so l33t. Not l33t enough to figure out why my smtp server rejects me half the time though. Though I guess I should get used to the rejection. Oooh, spot the girl who’s sad and moody and whining today. Tomorrow I will start to focus on my half hour seminar, really I will. Bollocks, I’m so fucking lame sometimes.

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