My Gig Manifesto

First and foremost, please remember this: People go to gigs to listen to the music. Yes, some of you would like to catch up with friends. Some of you might like to make new ones. Some of you might like to just drink a lot. But guess what? there are many many places that you can do these things at. There are few places where you can hear live music, so SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT, both for the musicians, and for the listeners. That support band you’re ignoring might just be my favourite band in the whole wide world. I’m not asking you to suck their cocks (or mine for that matter), just to be a little more considerate and make my listening experience more enjoyable.

Okay, I admit. Sometimes I like to talk to my friends too. That’s what THE BACK OF THE BAR IS FOR. Here’s a few guidelines for where it is okay to talk, and where it is not okay to talk.
Bar Bodega: From the last pillar by the bar to the stage is Music Appreciation Area. Seriously, if you’re all chat chat chat, fuck off downstairs.
Indigo: See where they pull the curtain along sometimes in order to seperate the two areas? That’s the cutoff line.
King’s Arms: use the bar as your marker.
Generally, you should be at least one metre back from the last person dancing.

If you’re out with someone with whom you haven’t already developed silent signals for “want another beer?/let’s move up front/he is so hot/this is my favourite song/this guy is too sweaty” well then maybe you oughta rethink your commitment to each other and go by yourself next time.

Also, don’t be that whistling guy. Sing along to the sing-along songs if you have to, but not the heartbreaking solos.

Think before you push through the crowd – if you displace someone, they have to go somewhere – they don’t just disappear, you know. Also, you’ll probably find it easier to cross the floor when the band aren’t playing their most popular song, since you’ll disrupt fewer people’s dancing.

Let’s take a look now at what you’re wearing. If you have big hair, I hope you’ve somehow tamed it. The same also goes for long hair. No one wants a mouthful of someone else’s hair. Are you wearing deodorant? Go put a little more on before you leave the house. Are you wearing abrasive fabrics? Take’em off. But don’t take off your shirt in the mosh pit, eww. Please wear sensible footwear, you’ll enjoy yourself a lot more.

Do this for me and I’ll do it for you and we’ll all live happily ever after. Cheers!

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