Of poo, and interwebs and pancakes

Okay, time for you to step up to the plate and confess: which of you has been feeding me castor oil as I sleep? Every morning for the past week about half way through my shower I have been hit with crippling stomach cramps that have me rushing to dry myself so I can make it to the toilet, and it’s making me run at least ten minutes late every day. And the pain still hangs around for about an hour after I get to work. What the fuck? Yes my diet could probably use more fruit and veges and fibre, and less liquor. But that’s not new. So I would like to know exactly what’s going on please. When I was watching Big Brother Uncut earlier this week and Michelle was talking about getting a colonoscopy I was almost tempted, just cos I’d like to clear this shit the fuck out. Heh.

Being sick at work (besides the stomach pains I have a cough coming on) means that I do more surfing than I probably should, and I have discovered that Llew seems to be making logical arguments on every single page in the whole wide web that allows comments. I don’t know how you manage it, but I like your style. I just tend to shake my head in disgust or yell out “fuck, you’re a fucking cock monkey” when I come across nasty opinions that I disagree with, unless they’re on NZM, in which case I can rest assured that there’s at least a handfull of people I know who will also be thinking what I’m thinking – and will generally provide the stats to prove my points.

Speaking of stupid people saying stupid things, I have a phrase that I tend to use in regards to annoying people who aren’t hideously ugly – “she couldn’t whine if she had my cock in her mouth”. I wonder if it’s possible to write asinine entries whilst taking mildly dirty photos in order to attract more attention (To which I could of course say: I don’t know, but I’m sure going to try it!)?

Other things that have had my attention this past week have included communities dedicated to discussing NZ Idol and the related craziness and viewability of the vagina (and all the way up through her nostrisl, it seems) of the Ginger Whinger, communities of consisting of me and Robyn arguing about our Internet boyfriend(*). And then of course there was that attempted rolling that my former boss also wrote about. Ha ha losers, suck it. Wait, that didn’t sound like I was telling Amanda to suck it, did it? No of course it didn’t, you were smart and followed the link and knew she was on the same wave length as me.

On Wednesday night I saw House of Wax. Paris Hilton gets killed in it. There’s some choice special effects. There’s characters from ‘The Gilmore Girls’ getting their comeuppance for adultry. There’s characters from ‘Dawson’s Creek’ getting their smack on. It’s a Dark Castle film, so if you like that sort of thing, you might like it. It’s gross out gory. Next week I’m going to The Island although I’m already convinced that it’s a crime to put Ewan and Scarlett into jump suits. Jump suits! Why, for the love of god? Why not let him get his cock out and let her boobies be splendid?

As far as weekend plans go, there is much couch & Sebastian loving scheduled. I also plan on making pancakes. As I just said to KateH in an email “I used to make pancakes aaaaaaaaall the time at Garland, cos I could pour one, go answer an ICQ message from Thomas, flip it, reply, pour one etc and the timing was really great, but then of course the Skank happened, and we bought clayton a waffle iron, I went vegan, and then Ben III set my pancake pan on fire and ruined it so I stopped making them. But I discovered that Anji has a really good frying pan for them, so I’m off on a pancake trip again.” Another winning combination is a my George Foreman grill and Beehive honey-smoked streaky bacon.

Other weekend plans include watching ‘Veronica Mars’ tonight because Heather Havrilesky from salon.com rates it, and because Willow is going to be in it later. Plus, Anji just got back from Samoa last night, so she hasn’t had time to catch up on previous episodes of ‘Top Model’ yet. Okay, I’m totally a Havrilesky groupie, I’ll admit it, I have no problem with that. What I find more disturbing is the amount of time that I’ve spent lately on whedonesque.com. But I do plan on leaving the house tomorrow, oh yes indeedy, to catch up with Jessie. And to meet Miss Ratpony, perhaps, although I worry that she might think that I am a dick in real life. It’s been a while since I met any new people from corrosponding with them online, the Wellingtonista aside.

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