Feminine Wiles

Wednesday 9th December

Am I somehow radiating “women, please come on to me” smells or something? I was working in the Bakehouse again today, and this woman came in and was looking at jewellary for over half an hour, which is not a usual thing. She made me model all these earings for her, and wanted to see them with my hair up and down. She was all “how do they look?” – as if I’d say they looked stupid when I’m trying to make a sale. She stopped to comb her hair even, all the while sending out these vibes. Then came the clincher – she said “I probably shouldn’t say this, but you’ve very attractive” – I almost shit myself trying not to laugh. I was so relieved when she left – after buying three pairs or earings, I might add. And so she fucking well should have, after wasting all of my time like that. I felt kind of sorry for her – she was like a Khandallah/Remers woman who realised too late in life she shouldn’t have married that rich suitable guy because she just doesn’t bat on his team. And of course, in her society there isn’t much she could do, so she sticks with her two martinis at lunch and a bottle of wine every evening, and meddles too much in her children’s lives and hits on poor innocent shop girls because she can’t accept that she’s a lesbian. Well, sorry Lady, but your team doesn’t float my boat, and even if it did, you wouldn’t be my sailor.

Nevermind. I still managed to sell like over $700 worth of stuff in the shop today, which is pretty darn impressive. Customers are just so boring though. Then again, so is having no customers. That’s okay. I just systematically destroyed furniture to fill in the time instead. And rang around, trying to fnd a friend.

Eventually I settled on Andee cos she was all that I had left. I picked her up from Amy’s house, out in Llamaville, and we went to town for David Straussan. He was SO funny! I was completly skeptical, given that he is a ventriloquist and all, and Carroll, his manager was so dodg, but no! His show fully rocked my socks off. If anyone wants to buy me one of those dancing dinosaurs, I’ll love you for the rest of my life. Free stuff rocks. I saw Carroll as we were leaving, and said thanks for the tickets. She said “I’m glad you enjoyed it” as she stroked my arm. Andee and I went to Slotatl after that, and Anji made me PAY for the coffees, which shocked me greatly. Ahhhh well. Then I drove her back home to Horokiwi, and watched Amy playing Quake for a while, enthralled. You just know I’m going to become a Quake junkie next year. Someone help me now please.

Oh yeah, and I was thinking about funerals, and music, and I decided to maybe have ‘Viva Forever’ played in addition to ‘Miss World’ and ‘Street Spirit’. I mean, I’ve had so many good times with the Spice Girls, I think it’d be kinda cool for all my friends who come to the funeral to have a chance to laugh – so maybe ‘Wannabe’ would be better. I taught my mother the dance moves for ‘Stop’ this morning in the car – she learnt them like a thousand times faster than I did. Anyways, I’m always curious as to who’d show at my funeral. Pleaaaaaase sign my guestbook now and let me know if you’d come. Ta.


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