Legless

Sunday 31; January, 1999

kate’s the only girl I know who has messier handwriting than me

(copyright jan 31st 1999 by Kate Benton)
Clayton moved in early this morning. I’ve never been inside a truck before, but I have now, after stamping up the ramp. It was really kinda bizzare. I felt like I was in a circus or something.

So yeah, Clayton’s moved in, and he’s pretty cool. Definitely more interesting to talk to than Layton although he’s got a voice which is a whole lot like Dylan’s which is kinda weird. The one thing that annoyed me though is that when I was just sitting in my room, lying down and reading, he kept coming in and talking to me. Ohhhhhh the humanity huh?

Kate and her friend Theresa came over around 1pm and we all went to Wendy’s together, and stole lots and lots of packets of sugar because we have none. I’ve previously stocked up on napkins from there too. Wendys rocks for free stuff. One day I might just take in a bottle and fill it up with tomato sauce. They were waiting to get a call back from a guy about a flat that they wanted in Ponsonby. Eventually they rang him, and were really sad that they didn’t get it. So then we decided we should get really really drunk to de-celebrate. The only problem with that idea though, is that it was a Sunday, and liquorshops and supermarkets etc aren’t allowed to sell alcohol on Sundays, because of stupid stupid laws. So that sucked to our asthma alright. We thought we could ring up all our friends and invite them to a “byo and some for us too please” party, but then we remembered that hey! We don’t actually have any friends. Well, actually we do, but none of them were available. So yeah, that sucked. Eventually, they went to go visit Theresa’s momma, promising to return somehow with stuff to drink. (Man, I felt so fourteen again!)

They came back around seven pm, so I rang up and invited Shirley over as well. We ordered pizza from Pizza Hutt, and since I was feeling rich cos Clayton had given me cash for bond and rent, I forked over the money. Half way through our thin crust half meatlovers half vegetarian, Kate decided to ring up and complain about the crust, to get a free pizza. She told them that it tasted like an Arnotts water cracker biscuit, and from her experiance working at Pizza Hutt, that is not what they should taste like. The woman begrudgingly sent over a regular size, instead of a large. Bitch. Hhahahaha we must already be on Pizza Hutt’s blacklist now. Kate and Theresa were going to flash the delivery boy, but then it was like an old man, so they didn’t.

Anyways, we’d finished the one cask of wine Theresa had been able to scab off her old work, so we decided to go to Newmarket. Well – Kate, Theresa and I did anyways. Shirley and Clayton didn’t want to come, but they said they’d clean up, so that’s more worthy. So we went to Newmarket to play pool, not entirely sure where exactly we were heading, until I spotted the PLANET POOL sign. Kate and I played on a team cos we both suck. We won the first game! I was so proud. Sure, Theresa fucked up and got three of our balls in on one shot (how she managed that, I will never know) . Anyways, we got bored of there, so we went to the Carlton instead and had lots of shakers. The shaker containers were so cool that despite the fact that we were sitting right by the bouncer, we slipped one into Theresa’s bag. The bartender there was so hideous, sticking his tongue out everywhere, and shaking his booty. I use that phrase because that’s how cheesy it was.

So yeah, eventually we went home, and sat around watching some really bad movie with Christopher Lambert in it. Theresa decided she wanted pizza, and after calling some guy at Dial A Dinos three times, he decided he’d send some out to us, even though we’re out of the delivery area. I’m starting to get the feeling that Theresa can talk herself into anything. So yeah, once the pizza arrived and I’d paid for it (again, I was the only one with cash) , we realised we weren’t actually all that hungry, especially since it had jalepenos on it. So oh well. Oh yeah, before we ordered pizza, I’d gone online to send an email from Kate, and found myself being forceably removed (Kate pushed me to the ground then sat on me, completly knocking out all my breath and doing some serious damage) so that Theresa could start messaging everyone on my contact list telling them she was me, and that I was in love with them. MMMmmm. So that was vaguely funny only i was in so much pain it wasn’t actually that cool. What was even more damaging however, is when they’d been sitting on the sofa going “UH OH UH OH UH OH” so I picked up Geri and threw her at them as hard as I could. She hit the wall with a smack, and her legs broke off. AAAAAARrrrrrg. She’s a collector’s item now, too! So yeah, if anyone wants to buy me Ginger Spice merchandise, please do so.

Oh yeah, and about the note – that was Kate trying to terrorize my poor flatmate who was probably traumatized enough by the screams and giggles.

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