On My Knees

Saturday 6; March, 1999

I dragged my ass outta bed at 11am, and started blasting out Hole to wake up Sisi – fuck I’m a bitch, but I didn’t want to be facing the mamouth stack of dishes alone. The little shite didn’t up anyways, though. It took me half an album just to rinse and stack everything, cos we hadn’t done them since Wednesday. I did a rackfull, then dried them, and figured that was about all I felt like doing. So I did a bit of tidying and shit.

Around 2, once Simon was home from Sports Socks missions, we went up to Foodtown to get some party supplies. But once we got there, we realised that we were both starving, so we went to Macdonalds first. Boy, it’s such a classy place. But it’s got a damn good location, and it’s 24 hours. And Foodtown is open until 12pm – which is definatly good. But yeah, anyways. We played Chase all through the supermarket, the trolley taking the place of a crazy stalking car.

All the food we bought for the party came to $54 (including a box of candles) which rocked, cos we’d each put in $15. And stopping off at the Vege shop for carrots and a watermelon brought it up to $60 even. Or close enough anyways. Buying the melon, I thought briefly about feeling inadequate, then decided that no, I’m actually quite fond of my breasts (say what you will about them, si and the hammy boys). And jesus wept man – can you imagine how horrid it would be to have breasts as large as watermelons? Think of the backache and clothing dilemas!!!!!!!!

So yeah anyways, back home to prepare food and stuff. I made dip, guacamole, diced carrots, and made four loaves of garlic bread. Then I vaccumed up the daddylonglegs that simon was too scared to touch, and various other bits and pieces. I was really worried about Amy and Andee and Ren, cos they’d told me they were leaving Hammy around 2pm, and by 7 they still weren’t here. Around 8pm I managed to get ahold of them on Ren’s cellie – they were at Burger King. Oh. Hahahahah.

I’d been hiding in my room since about 7.30pm refusing to come out until people had done the other half of the dishes. I figure that was fair enough, given how much prep work I’d done compared to everyone else. And I had to do my makeup, you know? Yeaaah. Plus Clare paged me twice so I had to ring her and have a natter. Anyways. I went out to watch the Lotto – and I dont’ think I won. But I didn’t sit through the second draw, so I may have. If so, Jo and I are SO going to Oregon. So yeah.

Anyways, eventually, my Hamilton girls showed up, bringing along with them Lee, who’s Ren’s sort of man. I’m a bit confused to what exactly is going on there, eh. But hey. We all sat outside and did drinking and stuff. A couple of Clayton and Leyton’s friends turned up, and lurked around. Then I heard the phone ring. It was Jo.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! So I carted the phone out to the side porch, and stood yacking to her in the rain. We had a great conversation about breasts. We have great breasts, after all. I was so hyped that she rang me, I just stood there going “YAY!” and telling her I loved her and everything. (I know she likes being mentioned, that’s why she got a whole paragraph to herself).

People came in while I was talking to her, so eventually I figured I should probably go and be social. Brad & Kate M (sweepstakes say they’ll end up together by April 16, but judging by the way they were behaving last night, I reckon it’ll be a lot sooner) had arrived at almost the same time as Rochelle and her boyfriend, Matt (god, yes, another one). He was a westie, but he was cool anyways. And he invited me to his flatwarming. Okay, actually he lives on the shore, but he’s still a westie. But yeah. Mmmm. So Kate rang too and told me she’d be late, cos her car was parked in, and that Theresa was working and her other two flatmates didn’t want to come. (Jesus Matt – I said you were cute – you should feel complimented, not offended!!!) When Kate did show up, she was wearing a pink sweater that reminded me heaps of one she’d had when she was five. It was so soft, I couldn’t take my hands off it. Or Amy’s suede pants. Or Si’s velvet shirt. I’m very into textures.

Arrrrrrrrrrh ummmmmm Shirley and Dee and Trudie and her friend Cat showed up, and I remember jumping up and down very excited about something or rather with Trudie and Cat in my room. More people came and stuff, and I started playing Social Butterfly, flitting in and out of conversations, mostly laughing at everyone thinking that they were laughing at me. We started dancing at one stage, playing the tape that Andee had made me because Ren couldn’t cope with music she didn’t know. It’s scary how bew*tched lured people into the dining room. Dancing is awesome. People didn’t like Billie much though. I do. I went to call Jo, to ask her if she had a girlfriend cos she was looking really cool, but she didn’t answer her phone. Oh well. We still have our injokes anyways.

Umm, I can’t keep like Chronological Order of events so I’ll just write down moments as I can remember them, shall I?

Simon and I managed to get good music going occasionally, and danced our little asses off. This guy called Mike, Clayton’s friend was dancing too, which i thought was really cool of him. He was kinda cute too, which is always good. Ahhhhh those crazy kids and their electronica music! At one stage this girl Nikki was dancing too, and she wanted faster music. I put on one of my Andy B-mixed trance tapes which were all major seventh form flashbacks from my rave days. Simon and I went out and danced in the rain and the mud to it. That rocked.

Then I went back into the lounge, where Dee and Shirley were talking on the couch. Dee was ummm ‘very tired and emotional’. She was so lovely and weepy, going “awwww and I saw you dance in the rain, and that’s such Joanna thing to do and it was so beautiful”. We had lots of group hugs, reflecting on how awesome it was to have made such good friends in our course, and we had more drinks. It was really gorgeous. I was interogating Shirley, asking her if she was SURE that she didn’t prefer girls to boys, cos she hasn’t fallen for anyone in the time I’ve known her, when Andrew came along and joined in their conversation. I figured I should probably leave because I could have taken it to a whoooole new level of self disclosure that would have shocked the pants off Andrew and possibly Dee, which they probably would not have wanted to hear.

So yeah. Outside I went to talk to Amy, to ask her if she’d seen my safe-keeping page, which she had. So we had a bit of a chat about that, and stuff. And yeah, I babbled to Ren and Lee a bit – they were lurking in the corner. And of course to Andee. But they weren’t staying the night, so they left kinda early. I hugged them all when they left – and whacked them on the ass. Lee looked shocked!

Hahaha and I shocked Andrew too. You see, he presented me with a flatwarming gift, so I hugged him. Then once I’d opened it and discovered it was a gorgeous tea towel, i hugged him again, and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed so much afterwards – maybe partly cos I told him he needed to shave. I told Brad (again) to shave off his beard as he was leaving – I even offered to do it for him, promising that the Gillette Lady Sensor would be the smoothest shave he’d ever have. And yet somehow, he declined. Well!

Hmmmmmm other moments? Crawling on my knees making the social rounds, because standing up was just too much effort.

Dancing more and more, a whole circle of us all knowing the moves to ‘Stop’ then later ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’. Say what you like, but the Spice Girls RULE. The Dsters played some scary music though, like the goddam ugachucka song. And other scary stuff like the Monkees. I hid outside. Or something. I dunno what I was doing, but I definatly wasn’t dancing to it. What I did dance to later was my mix tape, and it was so hideous, cos Leyton started dancing to ‘Closer’ too. I mean, I guess I should give him credit for enthusiasm, but faaaaark, it was scary. And I thought that I was unco-ordinated. Fuck I’m shallow. Oh well, I’ll cope.

It was a shame that neither Clayton or I got around to inviting Ben II (aka my favourite Eye Candy), cos that would have been amusing. Mmmmmmm. There was like no one at the party to oggle, but I guess that’s okay. Almost all my best friends were there, so hanging out and spending quality time with them was enough. Sort of.

I spent a long time talking to Lucy, Clayton’s friend that Leyton used to be obsessed with. That was fun, getting to have a good bitch session. She was really cool. I also talked to Nikki, who came out demanding to know what my Hole ‘My Body the Hand Grenade’ cd was. She was very impressed with my cd collection. So I had to lend her that cd, cos she had the other ones, just not that one cos it’s an imported rarerities collection. I’ve seen her at tech lots, but I never knew her name until now.

Eventually, I was sitting outside talking to Simon, I think it was, when Trudie came up to ask me if I had a bucket, so I pointed her in the direction of the laundry. A little while later, I figured I should probably go investigate. I found Dee (last believed to be ‘taking a nap’ on my bed) on the floor of my room, her head in the aforementioned bucket, Shirley holding her. The poor baby was crying her eyes out, and puking her guts up. So I stayed to help, reminding Dee of how Shirley puked all down her dress at the ball last year, and how she always took care of me when I was down, and so it was no big deal watching her throw up, because hey, that’s what friends are for. I admit that before I settled down I sponged off my bed and dumped my duvet cover in the laundry. Yes, she threw up a bit on my bed. That’s okay – at least she didn’t have sex in it.

So yeah, we stayed and talked for a while. Si came in and kept us company too. Dee made us call her parents to ask them to come pick her up. Shirley made the call. Fuck she sounded proffesional (“Dee’s just had a bit of a rough night and she’d like to go home – we offered but there’s no one like parents”) but I still felt so goddam fucking 14. Gail came out of Clayton’s room, saying he was throwing up, so i got her a bowl, and a bottle of water, and a damp cloth. Oh man, my house is all classy.

I went outside to keep Trudie company, cos she was waiting for Dee’s daddio. It wasn’t a very indepth conversation. I can’t remember what we talked about. Oh yes, I remember now. Hahaha. Ooooh dear.

Anyways, Dee’s dad showed up, and that was kinda scary – I was going hardcore trying to make Dee put on my cardigan and stuff, and I bundled up her boots and bag for her dad, and put them in the back seat. He had a towel all ready. Shirley and Trudie took off after Dee’d gone, so there was like hardly anyone left. I went back to my room and climbed up onto my bed and talked to Simon for a while. Gail came out too, and talked to us for a while. She was just wearing a slip, so I offered her a dressing gown, but she was fine with it. She said that we weren’t allowed to tell Clayton that we knew he’d been ill – yeah right!

The only people left concious in the house were Leyton and some friend of his, so Si wandered off to talk to them. I was soooo bored and lonely, man. Like I didn’t wanna talk to the guys in the lounge, cos they were boring and their conversation was boring, but I couldn’t sleep, since the music was too loud and I don’t sleep well if I’m still drunk. I’m used to talking to people/or being on the net until I sober up, but the computers were all packed away. I just wanted a man. When Simon came back into my room to pick up his beer, he was like “I’m educating the boys about cool music”, so since I was sprawled out across my bed anyways, I went “oh, educate ME simon,educate me!”. He called me a hoe, and mocked me so I ran after him, chased him through the dining room, lounge and patio and once I finally caught up with him I gave him a big walloping that ended up hurting my hand lots. I’d already cut my thumb on the top of a wine bottle. Trajic, I know.

So yeah, around 4am I decided that I really did have to sleep, so I thumped on the lounge wall to get them to turn down the music. My arms hurt a lot, which made sleeping hard. Maybe it was from all that d&b chopping style dancing. If you know what I mean. And if you don’t I don’t give two hoots about you.


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