Monday 8; March, 1999

“I am walking in the piss, always knew it’d come to this

Things have never been so swell

I have never felt so well ”

Hole – ‘No Right’
I don’t know if this new fangled layout is going to be cool or not, so y’all will have to give me your opinions on it, please. Maybe it’s too finicky. I just got bored with the other one. Hmm, so what happened today that was worthwhiley memorable?

I just had an ICQ chat session with my mother. That was pretty cool. Tech was amusing, hearing people’s reasons why they didn’t come to my party (Derek was in a non-injurying car crash; Olivia’s parents made her go to some family thing, Michelle O’Neill was too drunk to make it out of town, and I don’t remember what Jodie’s was, but she was very apologetic). Andrew was still scared of me, I think. Nigel kept going on about how drunk we all were (judgementalgrrrr). Apparently because Dee and Shirley had been sitting close and talking about liking girls, there was hot lesbian action going on – especially when they went off for a walk at the party. Awww man, and I missed it? I was going to go on that walk too, only I had to run away from Clayton who claimed that he was going to start hitting on me soon. Him and Antz shared a bottle of tequila, so I’ll let that one slide, cos I’m sure he was just teasing.

But yeah anyways. My knee kept playing up (and down) but it seems to have faded away now. Ummm. In TV Production, Shirley made me sit on the unfamiliar side of the lecture hall, so she could eye candasize this lad she’d glimpsed going in. We stared at him all hour long (poor guy) trading notes like “Do you see how battered his diary is? He’s a man of action, is our Spike” (his highly original nickname comes from his hair style, natch) and “ooh his hair looks dyed – he takes some pride in his appearence”. At the end of the lecture as we were leaving, we saw his face, and were so not impressed. What a waste of time! Plus, positioning ourselves to oggle Spike meant that I was sitting some rows in front of Ben II, so I couldn’t have MY eye candy. Hahahahaha fuck we’re 14. It’s so much fun, although the tragedy is that Shirley pointed out this morning that he’s going bald. Dammit all.

After TV Production I went downtown with Shirley, but my cellie rang just as she was going into the bank so I went off to meet up with Rochelle (had to chase her up Queen Street cos she didn’t see me on the other side of the road). So I hung out with Rochelle for an hour, which was cool. We just sat gossiping in the little parkette between Lorne Street and Kitchener. It’s so funny cos for ages last year I avoided that park like the plague, because Matt G lived on Kitchener.

I can’t go back to that shit. Like, I’ve served my heart up on a silver platter to be pissed all over once, and I’m not going to do it again. It’d be so nice to just not give a shit about stuff, to not feel vunerable, to not hate myself for being taken for rides. I dunno – I’m sounding like really fucked right now, so I’ll probably get emails/icq messages expressing sympathy, but it’s not really a big deal, you know? Like, I’m not slashing my wrists, just writing out a wishlist.

Hmmm. I’m going to end this on an up note, really I am. Ummmm okay the carpet is still flooded, but Ron’s going to send someone around sometime this week to take care of it.

Nah, that’s not good enough.

Ooooooh! I know.

Clayton’s uncle is a food photographer, and he gave clayton like a HUGE bag full of biscuits that he’d been photographing. Like HUGE. Five kilos or something. Lots of chocolate biscuits.

Plus! I talked to my Mommy on ICQ, and I’m going home at Easter. I can’t wait.

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