I’m Cold

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Saturday, August 7th, 1999

My feet are really really cold. For that matter, so are my hands.

What does that have to do with anything, you might well ask. I’m not sure that I can answer your question, actually. However, this is my journal, and I’m presuming that if you’re reading it, you are at least vaguely interested in me, and should therefore care about my cold feet. Is that too much to ask for? I hope not.

Okay, now that we have that pointless babble out of the way, onto some more.

I woke up at 3.30pm today, shocked and appalled at myself for sleeping in that late. This means I won’t be able to sleep tonight, and the cycle will continue. Excuse me while I go and make some Jasmine tea. It’s either that or red wine to warm my hands up. I figure tea is probably a better option.

Mmmm this smell reminds me of the Chinese resturant in Chinatown, Yokohama, we used to go to. We even took Kate B there once when she won a trip to Japan. I’m a very smelly person. I mean, smells have strong memory triggers for me. The smell of rum is New Years Eve 95/96, and so on. Music triggers lots of things for me too, memory wise, and also physical reactionwise. I knot up and feel nauseous when I hear Guns’nRoses “Sweet Child’o Mine” because of my associations with it. I hyperventilate when I hear “a perfect day elise” by PJ Harvey, and I’m not sure why. I do the same through the intro to “Porcelina” by the Smashing Pumpkins, which is kind of cool. I get all light headed while the music laps over me, an ocean of sound. Yes. And then there’s a handful of songs that are so sweet and so relaxing I can feel my spine uncurl and muscles loosen when I hear them; Mazzy Star’s “Fade into You”, Radiohead’s “No Suprises” and Placebo’s “Burger Queen”.

That was a nice piece of digression right there. I am VERY bored. It’s a Saturday night and Shirley’s sick and I have no other friends. Even Si has abandoned me to go out with IRC people. Ick. So yes, I’m home alone. Clayton and I watched “Bound” together – maaaaan, that’s such a silly movie. I’ve seen it before, so that’s a sign of how bored I was that I watched it again. Maybe if it lost the first half hour of the worst dialogue ever, (ie – even worse than Star Wars) it might be okay. But I really fail to see how the ‘hot lesbian action’ is at all tittie-lating. My friend Peter is somewhat obsessed with the movie, I think. But he is deranged. See what he made tonight? Then again, I made this. Kini asked for both.

“Was she asking for it? Was she asking nice?”

I’m listening to my Tank Girl soundtrack again. Penny, Sarah and I used to be obsessed with this movie. Hmmm, I wonder where Cyst is. That was our in-joke ziney thing. Tank Girl was our role model. None of us had read the comics, just seen the movie lots. That was in fifth form, before you start trying to criticize me. Of course, if you must, criticize-me@hubris.co.nz .

Ummm I think I will keep writing, rabbiting on and on, if that’s okay with you. I won’t be able to sleep if I go to bed, so I have to stay up. I imagine the drunken boys will be returning to here. I guess at least they’re slightly better than Leyton and his bogan friend Glen. Ick ick. Our house is really really messy right now. Clayton washed some of the dishes, but he can’t wash for shit. He uses luke warm water, and everything still feels gritty when he’s done with it. I use water so hot I semi-burn myself. Maybe I have a Lady Macbeth complex. But I don’t think I do.

I found Simon a girlfriend last night, on jailbabes.com. Her name is Hesper. Isn’t that just classy? If I had a credit card, I might have signed up to get her address. But then again, I wouldn’t have. But it’s fun to pretend, isn’t it?

I’m tired of writing this now. I’m playing with http://www.patient-b.co.nz instead. I haven’t been playing very long, so I can’t give you a verdict yet. I’m going now. See you.

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