June 1st, 2000

A pinch and a punch and a damn good thrashing for the first of the month.

Brad Clay and I hung out together tonight and wrote a list of what we’re looking for in our new flatmate. Here’s the list, copied out exactly from the Bible:

  • Sky TV (digital)
  • Cook us breakfast in the weekend
  • they must have a ‘role’ ie: bring home videos etc
  • with own wok and cooking skills
  • not be an Internet nerd (but internet gf/bf is okay if we get Randell)
  • MUST like pop music, dancing, Dawson’s Creek
  • able to clean up after themselves but not be like Bob Saget
  • must not be Bob Saget
  • we shouldn’t want to shag them, because as we all know you must never ever screw the crew Joanna, but they should have cute friends
  • have a cellphone (not really)
  • have a party trick, a certain “gene se qua, what the french call…..”
  • must have a job benificial to the flat (ie bakery products!)
  • would help if they were Robbie Williams (but not essential)
  • NOT a 1st year preferably, our age
  • have flatted before, must be able to tell us why they left their last flat
  • have a waffle iron
  • must think someone wearing an animal suit is funny
  • fix-it type
  • does not steal street signs
  • two dining chairs
  • not a star-fucker
  • “media savvy”
  • who will hang out with us (but not clingy)
  • puff the magic dragon what?
  • go on a flat mission
  • survive a month without us
  • be an initiator

My daddy came to see me tonihgt cos he’s in Auckland escorting around a bunch of Taiwanese, who NZ trades with but won’t recognize as a seperate nation. Go figure. Anyways, I served him tea and cake, and felt ever so grown up.

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