Tuesday September 5th, 2000
So Joanna, what did you do on Tuesday?
I stood on a chair for two hours
No, really, what did you do on Tuesday?
No, really, I stood on a chair for two hours.
Oh, you were calling someone’s bluff again huh?
Yeah, but in this case I actually lost for once. That’s two hours of my life that I’ll never have back. Nevermind, that was probably one of the most constructive uses I could have made of my time!
Tonight on Survivor, they did an endurance challenge, balancing on a beam in the ocean, and they did it for nearly three hours. Later, Brad and I were in the dining room talking about how our flat should do some endurance challenges, when he jumped up onto a chair. And so I did too. We tried to psych each other out by removing layers of clothing. We taunted each other. We read cookbooks aloud. For about five minutes Kate and Clayt ran around singing “this is the song that never ends” to get us down, but we outlasted them easily. We read and wrote in the Flat Bible. We did stretches and fake kung fu, precariously balanced. Brad kept telling me to go on the Internet and talk to Kini. I tried other ways to trick him into getting down. We were astonished when we found out that we’d been up there for an hour. We were amazed when two hours had passed. We decided that if we made it to three hours, we’d call a truce as we would have beaten the Survivor contestants, but then I decided to cave, as my ankles were hurting (you try standing on a chair for two hours) and my tummy was rumbling something chronic and I wanted to rush off to the bathroom. It was a close game though.
So now Brad gets immunity from votes tomorrow. Kate’s currently losing, on 7 votes, but it’s all pretty close – Clay and I are on 6, and Brad’s on 5. Don’t tell anyone, but Brad and I have formed an alliance. Uh oh, Maree will read that now. She’s only on 3 votes. I’m glad I spend my time so wisely. Nevermind that I currently have three assignments on the go right now. I’m a student, dammit, and not for much longer, so I MUST squander my time and fritter it away. Hmm, there’s something very wrong with that sentence construction.
I didn’t do anything else today, really. Brad gets huge big props for doing all the dishes and cleaning the lounge though! Oh, I put our bear together, and did a little work on it. But it needs much more. We’ve named it the Slut Bear, because its legs are so far apart. Si Brad and I saw a really disturbing video on Space the other night that I’ve had in my head ever since – “so make your thighs like butter, easy to spread, and we can make sandwiches. You can be the bun, and I’ll be the burger, Girl…” – imagine a lot of midgets dancing around and stuff, to make it scarier.
I love abusing people for things that they did in my dreams. How dare you take me out to dinner with that skank? Some lousy fucking fiance you are! I’m dreaming a lot lately. Can it be period time already? I must ask Kate. Oh wait, I don’t need to – that’s the benefit of bitching about it so much in my online journal, I can just go read back. Brilliant.